A couple of house cleaning items.
Richard Hatch is going back to Federal Prison because he can't seem to pay his taxes from his winning the first Survivor ever. With penalties and interest he now owes more than he originally won. Or course he is now appearing on Celebrity Apprentice so his jail time I guess will have to wait until Donald Trump fires him. Really? Donald Trump actually considered hiring a fat naked guy who doesn't pay his taxes?
Survivor
Survivor has been picked up for two more seasons. Hopefully and I cross my fingers and hold my breath while I say this, hopefully it won't entail any allstars this time around.
P is for Phillip and his pink underwear
Okay I am going to digress for a moment. We were led to believe that the people showed up with the clothes on their back only. Yeah I can believe it seeing what Rob and Russell were wearing and even Phillip and his pink underwear. It is sort of strange though that the younger girls all were wearing their bikini's underneath. Yeah, not like someone told them to put their bikini's on underneath their clothes before they left their hotel. Yeah, wouldn't be possible in tv land.
Ometepe Day 11
The tribe was all turning in for a long summer's nap when we hear Phillip say he will be cuddling up next to Rob. Rob wants to make sure that "Phillip is wearing his underwear." Line of the season so far.
Zapatera
Steve said the attitude is high with the strong six and that Stephanie and Krista are next to go. So now my first question is, if you are so strong then why do you let Krista and Stephanie go together to redemption island to watch the challenge between Matt and Kristina? You want them within eye contact so why not send one of them and one of you? Just sayin'. Stephanie wants to tell the two from the other tribe who attend the challenge that her and Krista are ready to flip. That is exactly why you don't let those two go together. Ometepe meanwhile send Rob and Grant and Stephanie of course tells one of the best players of all time that they are ready to flip. Matt wins the Redemption Island challenge for the third time sending Kristina home for good. At this point my feeling is Stephanie is playing for her Survivor life and her friend is..........what is she doing......... oh yeah watching Stephanie play for her Survivor life. Krista has to be now considered one of the worst ten players of alltime because she doesn't do crap.
Ometepe Day 12
Phillip is trying to make inroads with the women but they all rebuff him with the exception of MattGod's best friend Andrea. Yes, MattGod is still alive in this game and people should now recognize he was won three in a row and if he comes back he will have a huge friend and maybe two including Phillip. Survivor is always about making smart moves and avoiding stupid moves. People should realize that getting rid of Andrea needs to happen before it's too late.
Zapatera
Krista says since Russell left there is no strategy. Actually Krista, you put all your eggs in one basket with Russell and as I have said each and every season, you are a person who had no plan B. Mike thinks Krista and Stephanie are no problem but Julie is nervous about them.
Challenge
Blindfolds and Maze
I always love it when they bring out the blindfolds because three things happen. First, you find out how well someone can give directions. Secondly, you find out how well people can follow directions. Third and most importantly, it is so damned funny watching people run headlong into immovable object, it's a knee slapper everytime.
Ometepe wins and then of course Zaptera complains about Stephanie not being able to solve the puzzle. Of course Dave steps up to the plate saying he should have been the person solving the puzzle. Dude, "Shut up right now." This is the best thing that could have happened to you. You have someone not in your alliance that everybody is bitching about and yet you can't shut up about it. Not only that but you start bitching to Sarita who is in your alliance. This is how the damn starts to break a little at a time. You know Sarita heard it and you know your alliance will remember what you said in the future if it comes down to voting out you or someone else. It is always the little things that people remember.
Tribal Council
Krista does make a funny comment that the power six are like the Brady Bunch going camping. I will forever be in debt to anyone who uses a Brady Bunch reference in a comment on television. So in one of the most predictable votes of all time, Krista gets sent to Redemption Island. One thing stands out here and don't forget this. Stephanie and Krista both voted for Steve. Dude hasn't been a player in this game to this point and for some reason they voted for a guy who hasn't had a presence in this game. I think's that foreshadowing on the power six. That tells me he is the sixth person in a six person alliance. For an ex-NFL player, he ain't done much.
Tonight on Survivor
The tribes get to change their underwear for the first time this season. Phillip changes with Rob, Dave changes with Steve................................Oh I just kill myself sometimes.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Goobers, Cinderella and Bitch Slapping
So Russell gets sent to Redemption Island and immediately says he wants to bitch slap everyone at camp. Someday someone is going to have to show me how to bitch slap someone because everyone always talks about it but I never see anyone actually do it.
Russell then says he likes Matt and would cheer him on if he wasn't playing the game himself.
Ometepe: Cinderella and his red pants
How is it that a grown man can be tough, act tough but just not look the part of being tough when he is wearing red underwear? Phillip pisses off his tribemates when he gets up early and starts sweeping around their hut? Dumb question here, what the hell what he sweeping? They are on an island aren't they? My third question would be why didn't sponsor Home Depot just give them a shop vac? Just askin'.
Zapatera
Stephanie says she and Krista are stuck with a bunch of "Goobers." For those of you who don't know, goober is slang for silly people. Ralph then does what most other survivor players do who find an idol, he tells the people in his alliance. So now the hidden immunity idol is only hidden to other two people in their tribe and the people in Ometepe. The rest of the free world now knows which means soon other people will know.
Redemption Island
Phillip and Kristina go to watch the challenge for Ometepe and Ralph and Sarita go for Zapatera. Matt wins the domino battle and Russell is devestated to say the least. Russell says his team lost the challenge on purpose to vote him out. Ralph then brags to Russel that he found the idol then back down. Of course Zapatera no knows Ralph has the idol so the only two people in the free world who don't know now are Stephanie and Krista.
Ometepe
Phillip wants to earn favor with Rob so he spill the beans about everything he knows. Dude, slow down a little. As I said before for a former secret agent, dude can't keep a secret. I am guessing he was an undercover agent they stationed in Wisconsin to protect their borders from illegal Canadians entering the USA. Those ruthless pricks only come to the USA for cheaper beer and to watch baseball.
The Craftsman Tool Challenge
Yes folks Sears, Home Depot and St. Michael's Church of God, Mary, Joseph and frickin/ donkeysponsored this challenge. Take a crow bar open a box, take a shovel to dig for a hatchet, cut a log, release a saw to cut a door into a wall of boards and untie a hammer to hammer a nail. Zapatera wins. Okay so there wasn't a dog walking challenge but you get the jest. They win a feast also.
Zapatera
Mike says he hasn't thought about sex since, well since he said he hadn't thought about sex. I haven't thought about sex since, about five minutes ago. And let me tell you something else, everybody watching (INCLUDING YOU) started thinking about sex when he said that. Yes you did.
Ometepe
Phillip gives his daily state of tribe address and again pisses everybody off when he says everyone put forth a good effort. Rob plays a little poker and says to Kristina, "Someone may have the idol," and he is exactly right because the someone is Rob. Split the Vote Rob wants 3 vote for Kristina and 2 for Phillip.
Tribal Council
Kristina is nervous when asked if she is nervous because she doesn't have much of an alliance. My goodness women its like day 12 and the only guy, and let me repear that, the only person you have any type of alliance with is red pants Phillip. Really? Phillip talks about being a sheppard this week, a change from last week when he was a lion I believe?
Kristina goes down 4-3.
Next Week.
Phillip decides he wants to be a duck billed platypus.
Is it just me moment.
Is it just me or is Phillip, Julie, Stephanie and Rob about the only people with any personality on this season? We are like five weeks into season and half of the people have done nothing. Just sayin'
Russell then says he likes Matt and would cheer him on if he wasn't playing the game himself.
Ometepe: Cinderella and his red pants
How is it that a grown man can be tough, act tough but just not look the part of being tough when he is wearing red underwear? Phillip pisses off his tribemates when he gets up early and starts sweeping around their hut? Dumb question here, what the hell what he sweeping? They are on an island aren't they? My third question would be why didn't sponsor Home Depot just give them a shop vac? Just askin'.
Zapatera
Stephanie says she and Krista are stuck with a bunch of "Goobers." For those of you who don't know, goober is slang for silly people. Ralph then does what most other survivor players do who find an idol, he tells the people in his alliance. So now the hidden immunity idol is only hidden to other two people in their tribe and the people in Ometepe. The rest of the free world now knows which means soon other people will know.
Redemption Island
Phillip and Kristina go to watch the challenge for Ometepe and Ralph and Sarita go for Zapatera. Matt wins the domino battle and Russell is devestated to say the least. Russell says his team lost the challenge on purpose to vote him out. Ralph then brags to Russel that he found the idol then back down. Of course Zapatera no knows Ralph has the idol so the only two people in the free world who don't know now are Stephanie and Krista.
Ometepe
Phillip wants to earn favor with Rob so he spill the beans about everything he knows. Dude, slow down a little. As I said before for a former secret agent, dude can't keep a secret. I am guessing he was an undercover agent they stationed in Wisconsin to protect their borders from illegal Canadians entering the USA. Those ruthless pricks only come to the USA for cheaper beer and to watch baseball.
The Craftsman Tool Challenge
Yes folks Sears, Home Depot and St. Michael's Church of God, Mary, Joseph and frickin/ donkeysponsored this challenge. Take a crow bar open a box, take a shovel to dig for a hatchet, cut a log, release a saw to cut a door into a wall of boards and untie a hammer to hammer a nail. Zapatera wins. Okay so there wasn't a dog walking challenge but you get the jest. They win a feast also.
Zapatera
Mike says he hasn't thought about sex since, well since he said he hadn't thought about sex. I haven't thought about sex since, about five minutes ago. And let me tell you something else, everybody watching (INCLUDING YOU) started thinking about sex when he said that. Yes you did.
Ometepe
Phillip gives his daily state of tribe address and again pisses everybody off when he says everyone put forth a good effort. Rob plays a little poker and says to Kristina, "Someone may have the idol," and he is exactly right because the someone is Rob. Split the Vote Rob wants 3 vote for Kristina and 2 for Phillip.
Tribal Council
Kristina is nervous when asked if she is nervous because she doesn't have much of an alliance. My goodness women its like day 12 and the only guy, and let me repear that, the only person you have any type of alliance with is red pants Phillip. Really? Phillip talks about being a sheppard this week, a change from last week when he was a lion I believe?
Kristina goes down 4-3.
Next Week.
Phillip decides he wants to be a duck billed platypus.
Is it just me moment.
Is it just me or is Phillip, Julie, Stephanie and Rob about the only people with any personality on this season? We are like five weeks into season and half of the people have done nothing. Just sayin'
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Pus filled sacs and me.
Redemption Island
Matt shows up on Redemption to meet FWAN-CHES-KWA. She was surprised not to see Russell. Rob loves it because Phillip is a soldier and Kristina had to use her idol in the Split the Vote Rob strategy.
Dual
Ometepe sends Andrea and Ashley to watch and Steve and Dan go for the other tribe.
Matt wins and FWAN-CHES-KWA swowy wides her horsey into the sunset.
Rob starts out this week by announcing that Andrea will go back to Matt if he makes it back into the game. Just like Brad Pitt would go back with Jennifer Aniston if Angelina Jolie suddenlty got weird. Rob starts kissing Andrea's butt and telling her she's not going anywhere which leads me to believe she makes the final or they wouldn't be showing this. She knows that Christina and Phillip are next and deep down she is pissed. She breaks a small stick in half to prove her point.
Zapatera
Russell is looking for the idol, no kidding. I am beginning to think that his real job in life is looking for things. I'm thinking the USA send him overseas he finds Osama Bin Laden in about half an hour. He can't find it so Stephanie pretends she has a fake idol and some in the tribe buy it. Steve then points out that Russell has and I quote, "Pus filled sacs under his arms where he shaved the hair off." That's what I call wholesome family television viewing. The tribe when decides to throw the challenge so they can vote off Russell.
Challenge
Ometepe wins the spit, rolling balls and puzzle challenge. (I'll wait while you ponder that last sentence) Russell thinks his tribe threw the challenge and he correct. Back at Ometepe Rob finds the hidden immunity idol clue in a chair that Phillip was sitting on. I do love Rob's reaction after he finds the clue, "It basically says, the idol is somewhere."
Zapaters
Stephanie is working on Julie to change her vote. I am thinking to myself, don't do it Julie, they will cook your butt and Russell isn't a good person to align yourself with. Stephanie gives on plea that Russell is the player who has played before and you need to align with him. Actually the opposite is true.
Russell goes to Redemption Island.
Matt shows up on Redemption to meet FWAN-CHES-KWA. She was surprised not to see Russell. Rob loves it because Phillip is a soldier and Kristina had to use her idol in the Split the Vote Rob strategy.
Dual
Ometepe sends Andrea and Ashley to watch and Steve and Dan go for the other tribe.
Matt wins and FWAN-CHES-KWA swowy wides her horsey into the sunset.
Rob starts out this week by announcing that Andrea will go back to Matt if he makes it back into the game. Just like Brad Pitt would go back with Jennifer Aniston if Angelina Jolie suddenlty got weird. Rob starts kissing Andrea's butt and telling her she's not going anywhere which leads me to believe she makes the final or they wouldn't be showing this. She knows that Christina and Phillip are next and deep down she is pissed. She breaks a small stick in half to prove her point.
Zapatera
Russell is looking for the idol, no kidding. I am beginning to think that his real job in life is looking for things. I'm thinking the USA send him overseas he finds Osama Bin Laden in about half an hour. He can't find it so Stephanie pretends she has a fake idol and some in the tribe buy it. Steve then points out that Russell has and I quote, "Pus filled sacs under his arms where he shaved the hair off." That's what I call wholesome family television viewing. The tribe when decides to throw the challenge so they can vote off Russell.
Challenge
Ometepe wins the spit, rolling balls and puzzle challenge. (I'll wait while you ponder that last sentence) Russell thinks his tribe threw the challenge and he correct. Back at Ometepe Rob finds the hidden immunity idol clue in a chair that Phillip was sitting on. I do love Rob's reaction after he finds the clue, "It basically says, the idol is somewhere."
Zapaters
Stephanie is working on Julie to change her vote. I am thinking to myself, don't do it Julie, they will cook your butt and Russell isn't a good person to align yourself with. Stephanie gives on plea that Russell is the player who has played before and you need to align with him. Actually the opposite is true.
Russell goes to Redemption Island.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Reality Shows and Charlie Sheen
The other day I was driving to work and the radio station I was listening to was talking about Charlie Sheen and Dancing With the Stars and it got me to thinking about a couple of things. First, how many reality stars are there really? I did some research through andypedia and I am pretty sure there are a grand total of about 173 reality stars. Of course on Playboy's The Girls Next Door I counted Kendra, Holly and Bridget as six and if you have to ask what I mean by that, stop reading now and go put your finger into light socket. Actually you might want to put your tongue in the socket to get the full effect. There is some cross over because people like Rob and Amber who did Survivor, The Amazing Race and Rob and Ambers Wedding which I think about six people in Montana watched overall, count as one or two depending on what high school you attended. Of course there is Joan Rivers and her daughter who both did the Apprentice and their show called, "How to *&^% up your daughter by having her on your reality show."
Then I got to thinking, if you take people and put them into different shows much like a spinoff, why can't you combine reality shows. Here are some ideas.
Dancing With the Stars and The Biggest Loser would now be known as:
Dancing With the Biggest Loser
It would entail stories of prom night dancing with that big loser of a guy you used to date. (With apologies to those of you who married your prom date or were impregnated by him and he left you and later became what? A reality star or course.)
Hell's Kitchen and Survivor:
Hell's Survivor
Gordon Ramsey bitches at the Survivors because they can't cook a coconut and monkey nuts properly.
The Dog Whisperer meets AX Men
AX Dogs
Cesar Milan trims the butts of dogs with ugly faces by using a chain saw and later teaches them to walk backwards.
Two and Half Men - Charlie Sheen's Life
Two and a Half Men Meet Charlie Sheen
It would be a show about a nice guy who makes a ton of money, drinks a lot and pays for sex. Wouldn't that be truly amazing if your job was to play yourself on a television show and get paid a shit pot of money to portray yourself on a television show and it wasn't even a reality show?
Just sayin'
Then I got to thinking, if you take people and put them into different shows much like a spinoff, why can't you combine reality shows. Here are some ideas.
Dancing With the Stars and The Biggest Loser would now be known as:
Dancing With the Biggest Loser
It would entail stories of prom night dancing with that big loser of a guy you used to date. (With apologies to those of you who married your prom date or were impregnated by him and he left you and later became what? A reality star or course.)
Hell's Kitchen and Survivor:
Hell's Survivor
Gordon Ramsey bitches at the Survivors because they can't cook a coconut and monkey nuts properly.
The Dog Whisperer meets AX Men
AX Dogs
Cesar Milan trims the butts of dogs with ugly faces by using a chain saw and later teaches them to walk backwards.
Two and Half Men - Charlie Sheen's Life
Two and a Half Men Meet Charlie Sheen
It would be a show about a nice guy who makes a ton of money, drinks a lot and pays for sex. Wouldn't that be truly amazing if your job was to play yourself on a television show and get paid a shit pot of money to portray yourself on a television show and it wasn't even a reality show?
Just sayin'
Friday, February 25, 2011
They sent God to Redemption Island
Last night just proves one thing, even God would have a hard time beating Boston Rob on Survivor.
Redumption Island
FWAN-CHES-KWA says "Coming to Redemption Island might be the best thing for me." Maybe I am looking at this wrong, yeah and maybe a good kick to my groin would be the best thing for me today.
Ouetepe
Rob says that "tribal council was one of the wildest he had ever been a part of." At least I hope it was Rob because no one else has ever been to a tribal council before. Phillip then tells Rob, "You own my vote."
Captain Underpants
We then see Phillip-Captain Underpants hunting crabs with a spear and a rock. My opinion changed about Phillip when he started talking about serving his country. It may have sounded corny but, dude is wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Ralphy Boy
Hey Ralphy Boy, nice job doing your best Russell imitation by finding the idol with no clue. I didn't mean to say Ralph doesn't have a clue but you get my meaning. Love his quote, "Simple as wiping my butt." Of course it's pretty simple if you use two ply but that's another story for another day. Let's see if he can go more than one day without wetting his pants and telling everyone that he has the idol.
Russell T
He calls Ralphie maybe one of the dumbest people in the world. Yeah dude, but he is one of the dumbest players in the world with an idol in his pocket. Oh yeah, and for the third time Russel T is hooking up with younger women. I thought maybe the third time around he might change his colors, but no. He always talks about getting to the end. Maybe he should work on winning this time.
Boston Rob
For the purpose of this season he will now be known as "Split the Vote Rob." Rob notices that God-Matt and Andrea are getting close. He tells the viewing audience how a boy-girl relationship can go a long-long way in this game as he reminds us that he and wife Amber did this once before. Yeah and remember who won and who came in 2nd place? He also reminds us that Phillip needs to earn his way back into his good graces after last week's tell all at tribal council.
Challenge
Swim, climb, hit a tile, grab a key, unlock a box and break tiles with a ball. You know what I love best about this challenge? The part right after they jump into the water and swim across the pool and then they climb the ladder, that part. About 80% of the people have their butts hanging out when they climb the ladder, that's my favorite part. Can't ever get enough of people pulling their pants back up, much like that junior high kid you see walking down the street with his buddies wearin' the three size too large pants down to his knees.
Shakin' Hands with God
OH NO, God-Matt shook hands with the winning tribe after Zapatara won. That had to be one of the worst illustrations of sportsmanship EVER. Split the Vote Rob saw it and didn't like it one bit. Hey Rob, why don't you take God-Matt out and shoot him, make him walk the blank or better yet nail him to a cross. Sorry about that last one, that was just wrong to say.
Basket of Stuff
Russel grabs the winnings and heads back to camp. Along the way he notices a clue sitting in the basket of winnings and pulls it out before anyone sees him do it. Well, before he thinks anyone sees him do it. Ralphy Boy sees Russell take the clue and then starts telling everyone that he saw Russell take the clue. Just as Russell is bragging to Stephanie and Krista about finding the clue Ralphy Boy walks up and confronts Russell. The dead give away that he found the clue was the "Oh Shit," look on the faces of the girls when Ralphy Boy confronted Russell. Russell bring out his infamous, "You are either with me or against me," quote which only brings a smile to Ralphy Boy's face. You know its funny how Russell always wants everyone else to be loyal and honest with the exception of himself.
Back at Ometepe Captain Underwear tells the tribe he should have played better and then he and Rob get all private with one another with hugs and confessions. Good tv. Matt-God says Rob is a text book player. YUP.
Tribal Council
We learn from Captain Underpant about lions and elephants, Christina plays her idol and Matt gets sent to Redemption Island with FWAN-CHES-KWA. Ya know, I hope FWAN-CHES-KWA stays around for awhile because I really like typing her name like that.
Next Week
Stephanie says it will be the biggest blindside ever which probably means it will be a boring week.
Redumption Island
FWAN-CHES-KWA says "Coming to Redemption Island might be the best thing for me." Maybe I am looking at this wrong, yeah and maybe a good kick to my groin would be the best thing for me today.
Ouetepe
Rob says that "tribal council was one of the wildest he had ever been a part of." At least I hope it was Rob because no one else has ever been to a tribal council before. Phillip then tells Rob, "You own my vote."
Captain Underpants
We then see Phillip-Captain Underpants hunting crabs with a spear and a rock. My opinion changed about Phillip when he started talking about serving his country. It may have sounded corny but, dude is wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Ralphy Boy
Hey Ralphy Boy, nice job doing your best Russell imitation by finding the idol with no clue. I didn't mean to say Ralph doesn't have a clue but you get my meaning. Love his quote, "Simple as wiping my butt." Of course it's pretty simple if you use two ply but that's another story for another day. Let's see if he can go more than one day without wetting his pants and telling everyone that he has the idol.
Russell T
He calls Ralphie maybe one of the dumbest people in the world. Yeah dude, but he is one of the dumbest players in the world with an idol in his pocket. Oh yeah, and for the third time Russel T is hooking up with younger women. I thought maybe the third time around he might change his colors, but no. He always talks about getting to the end. Maybe he should work on winning this time.
Boston Rob
For the purpose of this season he will now be known as "Split the Vote Rob." Rob notices that God-Matt and Andrea are getting close. He tells the viewing audience how a boy-girl relationship can go a long-long way in this game as he reminds us that he and wife Amber did this once before. Yeah and remember who won and who came in 2nd place? He also reminds us that Phillip needs to earn his way back into his good graces after last week's tell all at tribal council.
Challenge
Swim, climb, hit a tile, grab a key, unlock a box and break tiles with a ball. You know what I love best about this challenge? The part right after they jump into the water and swim across the pool and then they climb the ladder, that part. About 80% of the people have their butts hanging out when they climb the ladder, that's my favorite part. Can't ever get enough of people pulling their pants back up, much like that junior high kid you see walking down the street with his buddies wearin' the three size too large pants down to his knees.
Shakin' Hands with God
OH NO, God-Matt shook hands with the winning tribe after Zapatara won. That had to be one of the worst illustrations of sportsmanship EVER. Split the Vote Rob saw it and didn't like it one bit. Hey Rob, why don't you take God-Matt out and shoot him, make him walk the blank or better yet nail him to a cross. Sorry about that last one, that was just wrong to say.
Basket of Stuff
Russel grabs the winnings and heads back to camp. Along the way he notices a clue sitting in the basket of winnings and pulls it out before anyone sees him do it. Well, before he thinks anyone sees him do it. Ralphy Boy sees Russell take the clue and then starts telling everyone that he saw Russell take the clue. Just as Russell is bragging to Stephanie and Krista about finding the clue Ralphy Boy walks up and confronts Russell. The dead give away that he found the clue was the "Oh Shit," look on the faces of the girls when Ralphy Boy confronted Russell. Russell bring out his infamous, "You are either with me or against me," quote which only brings a smile to Ralphy Boy's face. You know its funny how Russell always wants everyone else to be loyal and honest with the exception of himself.
Back at Ometepe Captain Underwear tells the tribe he should have played better and then he and Rob get all private with one another with hugs and confessions. Good tv. Matt-God says Rob is a text book player. YUP.
Tribal Council
We learn from Captain Underpant about lions and elephants, Christina plays her idol and Matt gets sent to Redemption Island with FWAN-CHES-KWA. Ya know, I hope FWAN-CHES-KWA stays around for awhile because I really like typing her name like that.
Next Week
Stephanie says it will be the biggest blindside ever which probably means it will be a boring week.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Fwan...........Ches...........Kwa.....................
"The name is Fwan-Ches-Kwa.......James........Fwan-Ches-Kwa."
Helicopters and Three piece suits.
Cue the helicopter and Jeff Probst...."18 people with nothing but the clothes on their back............."So why is it after about 21 or 22 seasons of Survivor, there is that one guy who thinks they are taking people out for one last meal and shows up on Survivor wearing a three piece suit? Because he isn't paying attetion. He is the kid who forgot to have his parents sign his permission slip to go to the dairy farm on a class trip in the fourth grade. He didn't have paste in his supply bag for his first day of kindergarten. He's the guy watching football on the big screen at a strip club. Yeah, that guy. And how is it that the four blondes on this show just happened to all be wearing their bikinis under their clothing? Yeah, funny how the dumb blondes always seem to be wearing bikinis underneath isnt' it?
Two Guys walk onto a beach.
The players hop out of their copter and soon learn two more players will be joining them. Another copter arrives caarrying Boston Rob and the Devil himself, Russell. Jeff then explains the rules of how redemption island works and also gives some tips on how to winterize your house for tax savings.
We Russell say, "I am so happy to be back and this time I'm not here to sabotage the game." Yeah......... We see Ralphie and Mike bonding. Mike calls Ralphie "Steel Wool.", I'm guessing because he has a lot of back hair.
Hammer and Nails
WTF is this? Hammer and Nails on day one? What the hell, how about body massages, pedicures and facials? Is this Survivor or Housewives of Montana?
Federal Agents and Idols
We get to see a little of things to come when Phillip gets a little aggressive with Francesca in telling her what to do. He then confesses to the group that he used to be a special agent with the FBI or CIA or Hair Club for Men, I'm not sure. We see Kristina looking for clues to the immunity idol and Rob takes notice. Here's the thing about looking for an idol on your own. Don't carry a shovel into the local river with you, makes you look like um...........your looking for an idol. However, she does find it while looking for landmarks. At this point I write down, "Can she keep the idol without telling anyone?"
Challenge
Pushing blocks, running up a ladder and putting together a puzzle. Zapatera wins so Rob's group has to go to tribal council.
Pre-Tribal
Rob doesn't trust Christian because he knows she was looking for the idol. When she approaches him and asks who they are voting for, he stones her. She has told Phillip and Francesca she has found the idol which means its value has decreased.
Tribal Council
We find out that Rob is in charge and Phillip likes to get busy. Matt mentions that Phillip calls people out. Francesca knows the team wants to keep strong. Phillip, (the special agent guy who did undercover work looking for secret information that he was supposed to keep secret) decides to tell the entire group that Francesca and Christina are voting for Rob and that Christina has the idol. Rob asks Christina if he can see the idol which she readily shows him. Rob then says, "If you give me the idol you are safe." Yeah, hand me your gun and I promise not to shoot you, I promise. What the hell just happened? Rob calls them rookies and he is right on the money. Francesca goes to redemption island.
Next Week
Phillip comes up with a plan to vote out Christina and tells her all about the plan at tribal council, because that's the way he plays.
Helicopters and Three piece suits.
Cue the helicopter and Jeff Probst...."18 people with nothing but the clothes on their back............."So why is it after about 21 or 22 seasons of Survivor, there is that one guy who thinks they are taking people out for one last meal and shows up on Survivor wearing a three piece suit? Because he isn't paying attetion. He is the kid who forgot to have his parents sign his permission slip to go to the dairy farm on a class trip in the fourth grade. He didn't have paste in his supply bag for his first day of kindergarten. He's the guy watching football on the big screen at a strip club. Yeah, that guy. And how is it that the four blondes on this show just happened to all be wearing their bikinis under their clothing? Yeah, funny how the dumb blondes always seem to be wearing bikinis underneath isnt' it?
Two Guys walk onto a beach.
The players hop out of their copter and soon learn two more players will be joining them. Another copter arrives caarrying Boston Rob and the Devil himself, Russell. Jeff then explains the rules of how redemption island works and also gives some tips on how to winterize your house for tax savings.
We Russell say, "I am so happy to be back and this time I'm not here to sabotage the game." Yeah......... We see Ralphie and Mike bonding. Mike calls Ralphie "Steel Wool.", I'm guessing because he has a lot of back hair.
Hammer and Nails
WTF is this? Hammer and Nails on day one? What the hell, how about body massages, pedicures and facials? Is this Survivor or Housewives of Montana?
Federal Agents and Idols
We get to see a little of things to come when Phillip gets a little aggressive with Francesca in telling her what to do. He then confesses to the group that he used to be a special agent with the FBI or CIA or Hair Club for Men, I'm not sure. We see Kristina looking for clues to the immunity idol and Rob takes notice. Here's the thing about looking for an idol on your own. Don't carry a shovel into the local river with you, makes you look like um...........your looking for an idol. However, she does find it while looking for landmarks. At this point I write down, "Can she keep the idol without telling anyone?"
Challenge
Pushing blocks, running up a ladder and putting together a puzzle. Zapatera wins so Rob's group has to go to tribal council.
Pre-Tribal
Rob doesn't trust Christian because he knows she was looking for the idol. When she approaches him and asks who they are voting for, he stones her. She has told Phillip and Francesca she has found the idol which means its value has decreased.
Tribal Council
We find out that Rob is in charge and Phillip likes to get busy. Matt mentions that Phillip calls people out. Francesca knows the team wants to keep strong. Phillip, (the special agent guy who did undercover work looking for secret information that he was supposed to keep secret) decides to tell the entire group that Francesca and Christina are voting for Rob and that Christina has the idol. Rob asks Christina if he can see the idol which she readily shows him. Rob then says, "If you give me the idol you are safe." Yeah, hand me your gun and I promise not to shoot you, I promise. What the hell just happened? Rob calls them rookies and he is right on the money. Francesca goes to redemption island.
Next Week
Phillip comes up with a plan to vote out Christina and tells her all about the plan at tribal council, because that's the way he plays.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
And another thing about cats. (Survivor warmup)
Let's clear something up front the start, I don't hate cats but on the other hand I don't like cats either. They're sort of like the duck billed platypus, they are just there. However, I will give you some history on the cat, from andypedia.
First, people really like dogs better than cats, it's a fact. There is a Westminster Dog Show that takes place annually. Yes I know what you're thinking, isn't it a hoot watching people dress these animals up like a little kid going to his first day of school. However, my favorite part is when the judge asks the owner to take their dog for a run around the ring. Let's be real here, the judge just wants to see very un-coordinated people run in a circle, makes me laugh every year. My point is this, there is NO Westminster Cat Show nor is there any Cat Show anywhere.
Secondly, the only reason any cats made it onto the ark with Noah was because of his neighbor, Emma Schlitz. She was the first reported "Cat Lady," in the history of history and had 72 cats in her rock cave. She snuck 14 cats on board that fateful day. The only other person I have ever met who worked harder to keep a cat alive was one of my sister's. I am not sure but I think this cat spent time in the Iraqi War as it had been shot, needed it's mouth wired shut and from what I saw in it's cat box, crapped out a hand grenade and survived.
Finally we all know of the 4-H organization. It has been many years but if I remember correctly the 4-H's are for head, heart, hands and either hash or hemp. If you think I am kidding about the last one then you never spent time at a 4-H summer camp. In any event when you go to a county fair you will find, pigs, cows, horses, dogs, ducks, chickens etc. NO CATS. You know why? Because the other animals voted and said, NO Frickin' Cats. You can look it up on andypedia.
Oh yes, Survivor starts tonight.
First, people really like dogs better than cats, it's a fact. There is a Westminster Dog Show that takes place annually. Yes I know what you're thinking, isn't it a hoot watching people dress these animals up like a little kid going to his first day of school. However, my favorite part is when the judge asks the owner to take their dog for a run around the ring. Let's be real here, the judge just wants to see very un-coordinated people run in a circle, makes me laugh every year. My point is this, there is NO Westminster Cat Show nor is there any Cat Show anywhere.
Secondly, the only reason any cats made it onto the ark with Noah was because of his neighbor, Emma Schlitz. She was the first reported "Cat Lady," in the history of history and had 72 cats in her rock cave. She snuck 14 cats on board that fateful day. The only other person I have ever met who worked harder to keep a cat alive was one of my sister's. I am not sure but I think this cat spent time in the Iraqi War as it had been shot, needed it's mouth wired shut and from what I saw in it's cat box, crapped out a hand grenade and survived.
Finally we all know of the 4-H organization. It has been many years but if I remember correctly the 4-H's are for head, heart, hands and either hash or hemp. If you think I am kidding about the last one then you never spent time at a 4-H summer camp. In any event when you go to a county fair you will find, pigs, cows, horses, dogs, ducks, chickens etc. NO CATS. You know why? Because the other animals voted and said, NO Frickin' Cats. You can look it up on andypedia.
Oh yes, Survivor starts tonight.
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