REALLY? Five minutes of the show talking about poop?
Night 17 - Post Merge
Alicia still doesn't like Christina and reminds us that Colton screwed her last week by not giving her his idol. Yes and Homer Simpson still hates Ned Flanders oakaly doakaly, what's your point? Here's a novel idea, find your own idol and get over it. She does make an obvious comment about the tribes combining, "Let the back stabbing begin."
Tikiano
Troyzan comes up with the new tribe name, tikiano. I think he said it was a combination of the words year, God and foot fungus. Jonas is cooking up coconuts and giving it a caramel type covering and tells us he hopes to have his own cooking show some day. Jay informs us that he doesn't like some people. Hmmm, maybe they don't like you. Tarzan is working on Mike who agrees with everything he says. Then after Tarzan walks away Mike tells us there is no way he will work with Tarzan. My thought at this point, "Where is Colton? Can they bring him back?"
Challenge
The twelve players are divided into two teams. Each team must move across an obstacle course consisting of digging a tunnel under an obstacle, crawl under a net and dig a hole to find bags of puzzle pieces. Ain't it funny how Leif, the smallest Survivor player ever, can't dig a hole big enough to get his four foot body under the fence. Sorry I profiled him there. However his team comes back and makes a game of it. Troyzan and Christina put the puzzle together and their team gets beer and pizza and a secret message. The secret message is a long poem which basicall says, "There is an idol back at camp." For the love of Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Donkey why not just say, "There is an idol at your camp like you don't already know that." As I am watching this I think to myself, "I wonder what tree it is hidden inside of?" I refuse to go down this road again with the exception of saying this, I think of the last 50 idols that have been hidden, 49 have been hidden in a tree. Where was the other one hidden you may ask? It was hidden next to a tree in a pile of wood. We are now at the point that when the game starts Jeff should just say, "Guys, there is an idol hidden in a tree somewhere." Nuf said.
Tikiano
The losing group is at camp talking about the beer and pizza they missed out on. Mike is working Jonas and then Jonas and Tarzan get into an argument about what type of beer Norm Peterson used to drink at Cheers. (I just threw that in there to see if you were really paying attention.) Actually I think the argument consisted of who was interupting who during their conversation. Tarzan says he is out of the alliance and doesn't care anymore and walks away. Jonas then tells Mike he has no clue as to what is going on. NEVER, and let me repeat that, NEVER tell anyone you don't know what is going, and why not? Because then people will know you don't know what is going on within the tribe. Sort of like the guy you see standing along the highway with his engine hood popped open. He knows absoulutely nothing about engines but still looks at his engine like there will be a magic button to push to make it run right. Yeah, you know who that guy is and it's probably you. My point is at least act the part like you know what you are doing.
Tikiano Day 19
Troyzan gets up early and does exactly what a good Survivor player who was just told an idol can be had at camp. He starts looking inside of, under and around all the trees in the immediate area. He finds the idol. You know what, I am going home tonight to search the two trees in my front yard to see if there is an idol there. Please go home and check the trees at your houses tonight and report back to me.
Challenge
Balance one, then a second and then a third ball on top of a flat plate while standing on a piece of wood. One by one everyone drops out until it comes down to Kat and Troyzan. You know what floored me about this challenge the most is that Kat could count to three. That was just rude. Troyzan wins immunity. This now becomes the biggest vote of the season as the numbers are 6-6 men and women.
Pre Tribal Council
Talk seems to center around voting for Jonas or Alicia. The main focus on Jonas is that he is smart and well liked while Alicia, well Alicia hates everyone. Troyzan listens as Chelsea and Jay talk about getting rid of Jonas. Troyzan immediately tells Jonas this who comes up with an idea of voting out Kat. One problem, they don't have the numbers. The second problem is Troyzan is being a big mouth spilling the beans about conversations that are supposed to be confidential from people like well people like the ones you are trying to get rid of. See if they know you are voting for them, they will try to convince you not to. I think Troyzan's mouth will come back to haunt him in the future. Meanwhile..........Chelsea is washing her clothes in the ocean and then goes to boil them in what looks like the cooking pot. Tarzan puts his underwear into the boiling pot of water along with Chelsea's clothes. She doesn't like that one bit because afterall she presoaked her pants and shirt in the salt water of the ocean which we all know kills everything. Evidently her clothes can't be in the same water as his. I wonder if one of the other girls had put their clothes in the pot if she would have said the same thing? I'm sorry but we didn't have to spend five minutes talking about poop or no poop in someone's underwear. Chelsea then changes her focus to Tarzan. Jay makes a great point that the alliance needs to focus on one person and stop changing their mind and quit worrying about poop. Well he did say the first part.
Tribal Council
Sabrina says the island is total chaos right now. Jonas calls out Mike and tells everyone that he is voting for Mike because he is a threat. Tarzan jumps in and says Jonas has been disrepectful to Mike. (This from the same guy who put his dirty underwear into the cooking pot)Jonas then tells everyone they originally had wanted to vote out Kat. Chelsea says Tarzan is a problem. Tarzan says the situation is mercurial I believe. Even Jeff gets corrected by Tarzan, who we find out is a doctor or surgeon. Now his attitude makes perfect sense. Jonas is voted out. It was funny how no one talked about poop at tribal council though.
Next Week - If you weren't paying attention, the girls just took over the game, that is if they are paying attention. In fact, Sabrina, Kim and Chelsea should make it to the final four easily if they stay together. But we have seen this before. Troyzan, well if he gets rid of his cockiness he could run the table too. No poop next week.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Karma-ed
Dear Andy,
What happened to Colton last night?
Fred Astaire, Hollywood CA
Dear Fred,
Funny thing here, do you remember the part where the house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East in the Wizard of Oz? Not many people know it but her appendix burst much like Colton's did last night. The reason her sister, The Wicked Witch of the West, was so pissed the entire movie was their medical coverage didn't allow for houses falling on them so they had to pay it all out of pocket. That frickin' Dorothy.
Andy
Manono
As the tribe returns from voting out Monica it is quite apparent that Christina is out of the loop altogether. Colton rags on her and tells that if by some magical event she makes it to the merge she will soon be voted out.
Salani Day 15
Kat tells of a dream she had that Alicia killed her at the mall. Foreshadowing of a future challenge at a mall?
Challenge
The teams race up a flight of crate-stairs to bounce coconuts off a trampoline to break targets. Next trip up to my sister's Julie who has a trampoline in her back yard, me and the boys are going to build one of these courses, whether she likes it or not. I said, "WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT." Salani wins and Colton puts all the blame onto Christina. Um, Colton, dude. Alicia sucked at this challenge too, big time. Jeff even said, "Alicia you throw like my nephew and pathetic." Salani gets to go eat ice cream and Sabrina says it was the best Day 15 ever on Survivor, yeah, good times.
Manano Day 15
Colton continues to get on Christina and tells her to quit or jump in the fire which would cause her to be medivaced from the game. Christina then starts working on Leif and Jonas about getting rid of Alicia who by chance has come out of the trees to listen to her entire conversation. Of course Alicia tells Christina that she sucks.
I swear to God if Alicia kissed Colton on the mouth that we would hear a clap of thunder and Voldermort from Harry Potter would appear in person.
The Witch Gets Sick
Colton is sick and his head hurts. My, my, my then who does he turn to for comfort? Why yes the girl he hates the most, Christina who talks to him and starts stroking his forehead. Colton adds, I'm dying. Not yet my friend, the house hasn't reached the island as of yet. Jeff comes in with two doctors who think Colton may have to have his appendix removed. Jeff explains to Colton that if he has to go to the hospital that he must leave the game. Colton leaves the game and takes his idol with him. The ever cocky and unpopular Alicia now turns her anger toward Colton who didn't give her the idol, Karma-ed part II.
Tribal Council
Both tribes come together and Jeff explains Colton's situation. Leif and Kim both tell about their dealings with having their appendix out. And I have to say this out loud in my blog, Kat then says she doesn't even know what appendicitis is? No she didn't? Oh yes she did. I think she just got voted out of the dumb blonde club.
Next Week
Tarzan takes her turn at going crazy.
What happened to Colton last night?
Fred Astaire, Hollywood CA
Dear Fred,
Funny thing here, do you remember the part where the house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East in the Wizard of Oz? Not many people know it but her appendix burst much like Colton's did last night. The reason her sister, The Wicked Witch of the West, was so pissed the entire movie was their medical coverage didn't allow for houses falling on them so they had to pay it all out of pocket. That frickin' Dorothy.
Andy
Manono
As the tribe returns from voting out Monica it is quite apparent that Christina is out of the loop altogether. Colton rags on her and tells that if by some magical event she makes it to the merge she will soon be voted out.
Salani Day 15
Kat tells of a dream she had that Alicia killed her at the mall. Foreshadowing of a future challenge at a mall?
Challenge
The teams race up a flight of crate-stairs to bounce coconuts off a trampoline to break targets. Next trip up to my sister's Julie who has a trampoline in her back yard, me and the boys are going to build one of these courses, whether she likes it or not. I said, "WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT." Salani wins and Colton puts all the blame onto Christina. Um, Colton, dude. Alicia sucked at this challenge too, big time. Jeff even said, "Alicia you throw like my nephew and pathetic." Salani gets to go eat ice cream and Sabrina says it was the best Day 15 ever on Survivor, yeah, good times.
Manano Day 15
Colton continues to get on Christina and tells her to quit or jump in the fire which would cause her to be medivaced from the game. Christina then starts working on Leif and Jonas about getting rid of Alicia who by chance has come out of the trees to listen to her entire conversation. Of course Alicia tells Christina that she sucks.
I swear to God if Alicia kissed Colton on the mouth that we would hear a clap of thunder and Voldermort from Harry Potter would appear in person.
The Witch Gets Sick
Colton is sick and his head hurts. My, my, my then who does he turn to for comfort? Why yes the girl he hates the most, Christina who talks to him and starts stroking his forehead. Colton adds, I'm dying. Not yet my friend, the house hasn't reached the island as of yet. Jeff comes in with two doctors who think Colton may have to have his appendix removed. Jeff explains to Colton that if he has to go to the hospital that he must leave the game. Colton leaves the game and takes his idol with him. The ever cocky and unpopular Alicia now turns her anger toward Colton who didn't give her the idol, Karma-ed part II.
Tribal Council
Both tribes come together and Jeff explains Colton's situation. Leif and Kim both tell about their dealings with having their appendix out. And I have to say this out loud in my blog, Kat then says she doesn't even know what appendicitis is? No she didn't? Oh yes she did. I think she just got voted out of the dumb blonde club.
Next Week
Tarzan takes her turn at going crazy.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Let me explanate.
Dear Andy,
When the guys gave away immunity last week, what did you do.
Efrom Zimablist Jr.
Dear Efrom,
I turned in my man card and joined the Tibetans Monks. If my voice sounds scratchy it is because I pray a lot now.
Shalom
Salani Day 12
Trayzon visits the women and they ask him how in the world did the men come up with the idea of giving away immunity. "Colton's idea." Plant the seed dude, plant the seed. Alicia said the guys just handed them the million dollars. Not so fast, this is still an individual game, you have a looooong way to go there sister sledge.
Drop you buffs
Before the reward challenge Jeff told everyone to drop their buffs. We get to see Colton give his weekly shocked pose and then see Monica have difficulty getting her buff off over her bikini. I had to rewind this part several times to make sure of what I saw and yes Monica had difficulty with her buff each time. Of course Colton calls team Salani the Greek Gods and his new Manono team the peasants. Great team spirit there Colton. The challenge is for each team to fill a huge bucket containing holes with water and then carrying the leaking bucket to fill another large bucket which when filled will release a team flag for victory. I thought this wouldn't be close but Manano almost won, they needed about a quart more of water. Get it, they were a quart low. Come on people if I have to explain my jokes I am going to start charging money. Salani gets to stay in the main camp,eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and simply smile in their triumph over the peasants. Manano has to move on and build another camp. As usual Colton does nothing to help but rather is a big gossip and talks to people about their next vote off. People are creatures of habit and the only one taking notice of this is Jonas who volunteers to be Colton's Bitch.
Day 12 Salani
Sabrina is very happy to be on the same tribe as Kim. Chelsea and Mike find crabs and the group catch a Chicken. Trayzon is so happy that he tells us he hasn't been as happy since he was Quarterback of his high school football team back in 1979. Um just a question here, this is the same guy who photographs the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models every year and being Quarterback was better? Turn in your man card and come to Tibet with me dude. Kim finds an hidden immunity and tells Chelsea. Again she broke one of my cardinal rules, find an idol don't tell anyone. Do I have to provide some re-training here?
Manano
Colton meanwhile does what Colton always does and says, "We Suck." Alicia trumps Colton's statement by saying, "We aren't going to win." Monica is hoping that Colton isn't manipulating her. DOH??? Monica catches a chicken, for about ten seconds and then it escapes. We also get to see Tarzan in his underwear. Did we really need to see that? Did it add to the show?
Challenge
Water basketball. Salani wins 3 - 1. Love basketball but this was a little boring. This leaves Manono to vote someone out.
Manano
Colton lets us know that it is hard to be a leader of idiots. My thought would be you must have experience at leading idiots because you seem to be doing a great job. He also thinks Tarzan has Alzheimer's because he has a hard time remembering things.
Tribal Council
Jonas says the odds aren't in our favor. Monica is built up to be supermom and a great athlete. Tarzan starts dropping words from the dictionary that would take me quite awhile to look up so we skip most of them. Of course he points out that one player has shown assertiveness but won't tell Jeff which one because the "Game is afoot." Tarzan then has a hard time remembering all the players names. Leif jumps in with his comments about Tarzan, calling him "The Wisdom type guy," and "he can explanate things." I even got a kick out that. As they are going to vote Colton mouths to Tarzan, "Do you remember the plan?" Golly gee whiz Wally, talk about talking down to someone. Monica goes home. Christina is surprised by this.
The Tribes
Isn't it funny how the two tribes are completly different now. Even though they lost the challenges the Manano group appears they could go to the merge with two or three players and still do fine. One thing they have over Salani is they know who their leader is, Colton. Love em or hate em he is in charge,,,,for now. I think hard days are coming for Salani even though they appear to have the stronger tribe, they don't know who is in charge. Lastly, the women have to be careful, they are now down one person overall and if Colton continues his reign of gay republican terror, he will own this game and probaly help to push gas prices to 5 dollars a gallon.
When the guys gave away immunity last week, what did you do.
Efrom Zimablist Jr.
Dear Efrom,
I turned in my man card and joined the Tibetans Monks. If my voice sounds scratchy it is because I pray a lot now.
Shalom
Salani Day 12
Trayzon visits the women and they ask him how in the world did the men come up with the idea of giving away immunity. "Colton's idea." Plant the seed dude, plant the seed. Alicia said the guys just handed them the million dollars. Not so fast, this is still an individual game, you have a looooong way to go there sister sledge.
Drop you buffs
Before the reward challenge Jeff told everyone to drop their buffs. We get to see Colton give his weekly shocked pose and then see Monica have difficulty getting her buff off over her bikini. I had to rewind this part several times to make sure of what I saw and yes Monica had difficulty with her buff each time. Of course Colton calls team Salani the Greek Gods and his new Manono team the peasants. Great team spirit there Colton. The challenge is for each team to fill a huge bucket containing holes with water and then carrying the leaking bucket to fill another large bucket which when filled will release a team flag for victory. I thought this wouldn't be close but Manano almost won, they needed about a quart more of water. Get it, they were a quart low. Come on people if I have to explain my jokes I am going to start charging money. Salani gets to stay in the main camp,eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and simply smile in their triumph over the peasants. Manano has to move on and build another camp. As usual Colton does nothing to help but rather is a big gossip and talks to people about their next vote off. People are creatures of habit and the only one taking notice of this is Jonas who volunteers to be Colton's Bitch.
Day 12 Salani
Sabrina is very happy to be on the same tribe as Kim. Chelsea and Mike find crabs and the group catch a Chicken. Trayzon is so happy that he tells us he hasn't been as happy since he was Quarterback of his high school football team back in 1979. Um just a question here, this is the same guy who photographs the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models every year and being Quarterback was better? Turn in your man card and come to Tibet with me dude. Kim finds an hidden immunity and tells Chelsea. Again she broke one of my cardinal rules, find an idol don't tell anyone. Do I have to provide some re-training here?
Manano
Colton meanwhile does what Colton always does and says, "We Suck." Alicia trumps Colton's statement by saying, "We aren't going to win." Monica is hoping that Colton isn't manipulating her. DOH??? Monica catches a chicken, for about ten seconds and then it escapes. We also get to see Tarzan in his underwear. Did we really need to see that? Did it add to the show?
Challenge
Water basketball. Salani wins 3 - 1. Love basketball but this was a little boring. This leaves Manono to vote someone out.
Manano
Colton lets us know that it is hard to be a leader of idiots. My thought would be you must have experience at leading idiots because you seem to be doing a great job. He also thinks Tarzan has Alzheimer's because he has a hard time remembering things.
Tribal Council
Jonas says the odds aren't in our favor. Monica is built up to be supermom and a great athlete. Tarzan starts dropping words from the dictionary that would take me quite awhile to look up so we skip most of them. Of course he points out that one player has shown assertiveness but won't tell Jeff which one because the "Game is afoot." Tarzan then has a hard time remembering all the players names. Leif jumps in with his comments about Tarzan, calling him "The Wisdom type guy," and "he can explanate things." I even got a kick out that. As they are going to vote Colton mouths to Tarzan, "Do you remember the plan?" Golly gee whiz Wally, talk about talking down to someone. Monica goes home. Christina is surprised by this.
The Tribes
Isn't it funny how the two tribes are completly different now. Even though they lost the challenges the Manano group appears they could go to the merge with two or three players and still do fine. One thing they have over Salani is they know who their leader is, Colton. Love em or hate em he is in charge,,,,for now. I think hard days are coming for Salani even though they appear to have the stronger tribe, they don't know who is in charge. Lastly, the women have to be careful, they are now down one person overall and if Colton continues his reign of gay republican terror, he will own this game and probaly help to push gas prices to 5 dollars a gallon.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Dumb moves and buttholes
WTF? Are you stupid? Where's your head? For the love of God. Your mom really did raise an idiot didn't she? Collectively speaking the men's tribe on Survivor this year may not be the dumbest group ever, but they made the dumbest move ever last night. More on this later.
Manono Night 8
Mike is mad that they got rid of his GQ buddy Matt last week. He doesn't have anyone to talk to about the all the weaker guys who are left on the beach with him. Sorry about your luck chuck. Tarzan talks about their core of five including Trayzon, Leif, Jonas and Colton. Get rid of Bill is the plan. Leif crawls inside of the supply box and goes to sleep, classic moment.
Salani
The girls understand that their luck is changing. Jonas and Trayzon come over to their tribe and offer to do fishing and give the girls half of what they catch if they can use their net. NO GO say the girls.
Reward challenge
Slingshots used to break tiles in a tic-tac-toe pattern. The winner gets to choose between comfort-pillows etc, / protection-another tarp / Luxury-donuts etc. My first thought was if the guys win they should take the tarp and bargain with the girls to use their fishing equipment in exchange for the tarp. Doesn't matter now as the women won and chose the tarp anyhow. Now the guys are at a huge disadvantage camp wise. As I mentioned in earlier posts, you need to bargain when you have the upper hand.
Salani Day 9
Leif makes a mistake by telling Bill he is on the chopping block. WOW dude, rule number 1, keep your stinking mouth shut. Word goes around quickly that their is a traitor and Colton calls Leif a Munchkin. This would be a bad thing other than the fact that Leif is a small person. Does the word insensitive come to mind? Oh by the way it was Mike who brought this to Colton's attention who is seemingly running the show which I cannot for the life of me understand why.
Challenge
Put together three puzzles to get three keys and unlock three locks. To quote Jeff,
"This challenge wasn't even close." The men win easily. The thing I can't understand is the women even looked at the completed puzzles the men had put together and still couldn't figure out how to put their puzzles together. Say what you want if you thought the women weren't very bright, that was about to be trumped ten fold. The guys win immunity but.........
Dumbest move ever
Your team just won a challenge and since you don't have to go to tribal council you will now have an 8 - 6 person advantage. If Mrs. Head my first grade teacher (yes her name was really Mrs. Head) if she taught me correctly 8 minus 6 means we have two more people on our team. I don't care if can't get along, this is a two person advantage in a game where the two tribes have demonstrated their willingness to not depend on the other tribe.
Tribal Council
As often is the case the emotions come out. To me it is quite obvious that Bill is much more understanding and mature than Colton. He is a standup comic who is basically living his dream of being a comedian and often times sleeps on people couches as he travels around the country. Oh yeah, he is black. Colton makes no bones in front of everyone that he would never associate with anyone like Bill and won't do it on Survivor either. He tells Bill not to live off of other people. Colton then tells everyone he went to ann all white private school but has associates who are black. "We have a maid who is black, but is like family." WOW. Talk about off the wall here. Bill gets voted off because the other guys have no balls to stand up to Colton.
Next week they drop their buffs and tribes are realigned.
One last comment. Survivor has been on television for going on twelve years now and hands down Colton is by far the biggest self-serving, racist, holier than thou, asshole to ever appear on the show. Congratulations to Colton.
Manono Night 8
Mike is mad that they got rid of his GQ buddy Matt last week. He doesn't have anyone to talk to about the all the weaker guys who are left on the beach with him. Sorry about your luck chuck. Tarzan talks about their core of five including Trayzon, Leif, Jonas and Colton. Get rid of Bill is the plan. Leif crawls inside of the supply box and goes to sleep, classic moment.
Salani
The girls understand that their luck is changing. Jonas and Trayzon come over to their tribe and offer to do fishing and give the girls half of what they catch if they can use their net. NO GO say the girls.
Reward challenge
Slingshots used to break tiles in a tic-tac-toe pattern. The winner gets to choose between comfort-pillows etc, / protection-another tarp / Luxury-donuts etc. My first thought was if the guys win they should take the tarp and bargain with the girls to use their fishing equipment in exchange for the tarp. Doesn't matter now as the women won and chose the tarp anyhow. Now the guys are at a huge disadvantage camp wise. As I mentioned in earlier posts, you need to bargain when you have the upper hand.
Salani Day 9
Leif makes a mistake by telling Bill he is on the chopping block. WOW dude, rule number 1, keep your stinking mouth shut. Word goes around quickly that their is a traitor and Colton calls Leif a Munchkin. This would be a bad thing other than the fact that Leif is a small person. Does the word insensitive come to mind? Oh by the way it was Mike who brought this to Colton's attention who is seemingly running the show which I cannot for the life of me understand why.
Challenge
Put together three puzzles to get three keys and unlock three locks. To quote Jeff,
"This challenge wasn't even close." The men win easily. The thing I can't understand is the women even looked at the completed puzzles the men had put together and still couldn't figure out how to put their puzzles together. Say what you want if you thought the women weren't very bright, that was about to be trumped ten fold. The guys win immunity but.........
Dumbest move ever
Your team just won a challenge and since you don't have to go to tribal council you will now have an 8 - 6 person advantage. If Mrs. Head my first grade teacher (yes her name was really Mrs. Head) if she taught me correctly 8 minus 6 means we have two more people on our team. I don't care if can't get along, this is a two person advantage in a game where the two tribes have demonstrated their willingness to not depend on the other tribe.
Tribal Council
As often is the case the emotions come out. To me it is quite obvious that Bill is much more understanding and mature than Colton. He is a standup comic who is basically living his dream of being a comedian and often times sleeps on people couches as he travels around the country. Oh yeah, he is black. Colton makes no bones in front of everyone that he would never associate with anyone like Bill and won't do it on Survivor either. He tells Bill not to live off of other people. Colton then tells everyone he went to ann all white private school but has associates who are black. "We have a maid who is black, but is like family." WOW. Talk about off the wall here. Bill gets voted off because the other guys have no balls to stand up to Colton.
Next week they drop their buffs and tribes are realigned.
One last comment. Survivor has been on television for going on twelve years now and hands down Colton is by far the biggest self-serving, racist, holier than thou, asshole to ever appear on the show. Congratulations to Colton.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Fire, Rain, Roosters and Republicans
For those of you who have never watched Survivor on the CBS website, I recommend it. Less commercials and you can pause and go get a beer whenever you want.
Salani
Chelsea seems to think all eyes are on Kat. No shit Dick Tracey. Kat should have been gone last week. Colton and Jonas visit the women's camp just as they were returning from voting out Nina. Not much said but I find it interesting how many times Colton continues to show up at their camp. The guys should take careful notice of this too. The girls are left to fend in a very weak shelter for the duration of a rain storm that night, wet and cold.
Manano
The guys are dry and warm because their fire didn't go out. The wedge is widening between many members of the competing tribes as a couple of the girls come over to borrow some hot embers to start their fire. The return a second time to ask for more embers when they can't get their fire going over at Salani. Talk about kicking a puppy, the ladies can't catch a break. Matt doesn't like it one bit that the girls continue to come over. Colton doesn't like it because, "I am a Republican not a Democrat so I don't believe in handouts." Colton's approval rating just dropped fifteen points in the blue states. Talk about a hypocrit, wasn't this the same Colton who just last week went into the ladies camp asking for someone to be his friend because no one at the guys camp liked him? Funny how that works.
The Gap
As I was watching this I am thinking to myself, the guys have the advantage of having a nice fire and nice shelter and should take this opportunity and be nice about it. The girls keep coming over to ask for help and instead of complaining about it, give them fire and shelter and it will come around in the end. You never know when the momentum might change or Jeff says, drop you buffs and you end up with new teammates. Who gets the nice camp then?
Reward Challenge
Memory test. Look at six items on a shelf for a period of time and then arrange similar items on a different shelf in the same order. The women simply kick the guys ass in this. As reward they get a boat and fishing gear. Oh yeah, did anybody catch Bill's outfit? He looked like a homeless lady with his tie and head wrapped in a buff. All he was missing was the shopping cart filled with crap.
Back at camp
The guys are asking the girls to use their boat and fishing gear because they gave the girls fire and a chance to warm up under their tarp. See above about negotiating when you have the upper hand. Now the girls have something you don't have, they have the upperhand because they got their fire going and now have fish which you don't have nor do you have the tools to go fishing. Think ahead.
Challenge
Blindfolds, obstacle course and puzzle. As I have said before, any challenge involving blindfolds is great. You always see people run into posts with their heads, shins and crotches. To quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny cause its not me."
The guys jump out to a huge lead as they bring back all five bags of puzzle pieces before the woman have two of their bags. Bill starts putting his puzzle together and then Sabrina finally gets to start her puzzle. Amazing turn around again as Sabrina and Bill are each working on the last piece of their tree puzzle and the women win again. Great challenge.
Manano
Trayzon, Tarzan, Colton, Jonas and Leif are talking about voting out either Bill or Matt. Jay walks up and Tarzan asks him to vote with them. Matt walks up and realizes it got quiet so they must be talking about him. He takes Trayzon aside and does a very stupid thing. He invites Trayzon to join his Rooster group which will get rid of the lesser chickens on the island and he should know who those people are. Yeah we all know who the chickens are, the group who has six votes to your two or three. You are toast. Do we even have to vote? Colton tries to get the group to vote for Bill.
Council
Too much talking by many people. First, Matt shows his arrogance when he calls out Tarzan. Bill is just excited to be there. Colton, well Colton brags that he has an idol. But I think Tarzan makes a point that everyone already knows, Colton is in with the women which at this point is okay with him. Matt gets voted out, surprise.
Next Week
Colton goes after Bill and Trayzon is called a liar. The momentum has definitely swung to the women. If anyone on the guys teams is paying attention, they need to get rid of Colton not because he is a bad guy but because of his relationship with the women and he reads people very well. He is in charge at the moment.
Salani
Chelsea seems to think all eyes are on Kat. No shit Dick Tracey. Kat should have been gone last week. Colton and Jonas visit the women's camp just as they were returning from voting out Nina. Not much said but I find it interesting how many times Colton continues to show up at their camp. The guys should take careful notice of this too. The girls are left to fend in a very weak shelter for the duration of a rain storm that night, wet and cold.
Manano
The guys are dry and warm because their fire didn't go out. The wedge is widening between many members of the competing tribes as a couple of the girls come over to borrow some hot embers to start their fire. The return a second time to ask for more embers when they can't get their fire going over at Salani. Talk about kicking a puppy, the ladies can't catch a break. Matt doesn't like it one bit that the girls continue to come over. Colton doesn't like it because, "I am a Republican not a Democrat so I don't believe in handouts." Colton's approval rating just dropped fifteen points in the blue states. Talk about a hypocrit, wasn't this the same Colton who just last week went into the ladies camp asking for someone to be his friend because no one at the guys camp liked him? Funny how that works.
The Gap
As I was watching this I am thinking to myself, the guys have the advantage of having a nice fire and nice shelter and should take this opportunity and be nice about it. The girls keep coming over to ask for help and instead of complaining about it, give them fire and shelter and it will come around in the end. You never know when the momentum might change or Jeff says, drop you buffs and you end up with new teammates. Who gets the nice camp then?
Reward Challenge
Memory test. Look at six items on a shelf for a period of time and then arrange similar items on a different shelf in the same order. The women simply kick the guys ass in this. As reward they get a boat and fishing gear. Oh yeah, did anybody catch Bill's outfit? He looked like a homeless lady with his tie and head wrapped in a buff. All he was missing was the shopping cart filled with crap.
Back at camp
The guys are asking the girls to use their boat and fishing gear because they gave the girls fire and a chance to warm up under their tarp. See above about negotiating when you have the upper hand. Now the girls have something you don't have, they have the upperhand because they got their fire going and now have fish which you don't have nor do you have the tools to go fishing. Think ahead.
Challenge
Blindfolds, obstacle course and puzzle. As I have said before, any challenge involving blindfolds is great. You always see people run into posts with their heads, shins and crotches. To quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny cause its not me."
The guys jump out to a huge lead as they bring back all five bags of puzzle pieces before the woman have two of their bags. Bill starts putting his puzzle together and then Sabrina finally gets to start her puzzle. Amazing turn around again as Sabrina and Bill are each working on the last piece of their tree puzzle and the women win again. Great challenge.
Manano
Trayzon, Tarzan, Colton, Jonas and Leif are talking about voting out either Bill or Matt. Jay walks up and Tarzan asks him to vote with them. Matt walks up and realizes it got quiet so they must be talking about him. He takes Trayzon aside and does a very stupid thing. He invites Trayzon to join his Rooster group which will get rid of the lesser chickens on the island and he should know who those people are. Yeah we all know who the chickens are, the group who has six votes to your two or three. You are toast. Do we even have to vote? Colton tries to get the group to vote for Bill.
Council
Too much talking by many people. First, Matt shows his arrogance when he calls out Tarzan. Bill is just excited to be there. Colton, well Colton brags that he has an idol. But I think Tarzan makes a point that everyone already knows, Colton is in with the women which at this point is okay with him. Matt gets voted out, surprise.
Next Week
Colton goes after Bill and Trayzon is called a liar. The momentum has definitely swung to the women. If anyone on the guys teams is paying attention, they need to get rid of Colton not because he is a bad guy but because of his relationship with the women and he reads people very well. He is in charge at the moment.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tarps, Balance Beams and a Lonely Gay Guy with an idol
So just before the show started last night I wrote down two questions.
-) Can the women unite and at least be competitive?
-) Will the men's Cocky GQ Alliance win out?
Trayzon comments that all he wants "Is to be the best Survivor player ever." You know the sole reason they put this guy on the show? Because he is one of the photographers for the Sport Illustrated swim suit edition. That's why he is on this show period.
Salani Day 3
Michael greets the women as they return from Tribal Council and lets them know he kept their fire going "Cause like you guys were gone for hours and hours." A couple things here. First, anybody who has seen any Survivor at all knows when a team goes to Tribal Council for the first time they are given a flint to do what? To start a fire with there Einstien. Secondly, if you do something nice for someone you don't have to announce it to the world. That's like watching your neighbors dog while they are on vacation and when they return you knock on their door and say, "Hey welcome back, just wanted to let know your dog didn't die while you were gone because of me."
Alicia makes a comment that she loved the fact that Christina yelled at her during Tribal Council because that was all in her plan to make Christina look foolish. I love the ego this girl has. Alicia calls Nina, "A big bag of rocks and I don't even know what that means." What a knee slapper, and I don't even know what a knee slapper means, that's how funny that is. Christine apologizes to Alicia for her actions. No way girl, don't apologize for calling someone a bitch when they were a bitch.
Salani Day 4
Sabrina is somewhat elected as tribe leader and I think it was more she mentioned they needed leadership and everyone sort of shook their heads and agreed that they needed a leader and she showed the best leadership by asking for someone to be a leader so they said she should be the leader. I think that's how it happened. That is akin to a small town thinking people are driving too fast in their town and because they can't agree on what the speed limit should be, they simply put up a sign that says Slow Down. And you know who had to put the sign up? Of course you do, It was the guy who brought up the idea that people should slow down when they drive through their town. Makes perfect sense.
Challenge
Un-tie ropes until they free a ring of steel. The guys win and get to keep the rope as well as a tarp. Sabrina says, "We needed that tarp much like a fat kid needs cake." Another knee slapper.
Manano Day 4
Mike says this is the best camp in the history of Survivor. NOPE, I disagree. The best camp was the year they had a contest to build an outhouse and two guys fell asleep in the outhouse getting drunk. NOW that was the best camp EVER. We then see Colton swinging on his swing and does nothing to help the guys at camp and they notice. He wanders over to the women's camp and talks with them and tells them he has no friends in the men's camp and then the women ask him to leave their camp because he isn't on their tribe. Dude has no alliances.
Manano Day 4
Tarzan does a dance in his underwear. Then Colton springs the great equalizer of a plan when he shows Trayzon, Jonas, Tarzan and Lief his idol. They come up with a plan to get rid of one of the big boys, Matt or Mike when the opportunity comes forward. Funny how a hidden immunity idol wipes the memory of people who only hours before wanted Colton gone, now according to Jonas, "Colton is very smart." Maybe if I find an idol my friends will think I'm smart too. If the GQ guys weren't so cocky, they might actually suspect something. As it happens in life and it happens in Survivor over and over again, the cocky players often times simply think everyone is on board with their plan and they will pick people off one by one and go to the final. Oh yes, and when they get voted off they always comment, "Those idiots don't know how to play this game." Well chump, those idiots just voted you off, so what does that make you? Let's see if this happens, again.
Challenge
Balance Beam Tango. Loved it, loved it. You take a balance beam and have every team member stand in a row and take the last person in line and make them transverse the 4inch beam from their end to the other without knocking their team off the beam or touching more than one person at a time. Poor Kat, this girl was out of her element. Sometimes you suck and sometimes you really suck like she did when she went into the water over and over again. This wasn't even close as the guys put their entire team of eight guys through the challenge while the girls only had one person finish.
Salini
Nina knows she is now on the chopping block not because of her skills but simply the older women are outnumbered by the younger women 5-3. She tries to work Chelsea and Kim who agree kat hasn't shown much, but they don't want to break their loyalty to the others.
Tribal Council
The girls take turns throwing each other under the bus and while it appears everyone agrees that Kat lost the challenge, they vote out Nina. The girls tribe totally confuses me right now. They want to win but they can't and they don't want to upset anybody either. Keeping Kat was the wrong choice. They all agreed she was the reason they lost again but they keep her over a stronger player. At this point in the game the younger women's alliance still holds a number advantage over the older group plus they have Colton, they should have gotten rid of Kat.
Next Week
More of the same.
-) Can the women unite and at least be competitive?
-) Will the men's Cocky GQ Alliance win out?
Trayzon comments that all he wants "Is to be the best Survivor player ever." You know the sole reason they put this guy on the show? Because he is one of the photographers for the Sport Illustrated swim suit edition. That's why he is on this show period.
Salani Day 3
Michael greets the women as they return from Tribal Council and lets them know he kept their fire going "Cause like you guys were gone for hours and hours." A couple things here. First, anybody who has seen any Survivor at all knows when a team goes to Tribal Council for the first time they are given a flint to do what? To start a fire with there Einstien. Secondly, if you do something nice for someone you don't have to announce it to the world. That's like watching your neighbors dog while they are on vacation and when they return you knock on their door and say, "Hey welcome back, just wanted to let know your dog didn't die while you were gone because of me."
Alicia makes a comment that she loved the fact that Christina yelled at her during Tribal Council because that was all in her plan to make Christina look foolish. I love the ego this girl has. Alicia calls Nina, "A big bag of rocks and I don't even know what that means." What a knee slapper, and I don't even know what a knee slapper means, that's how funny that is. Christine apologizes to Alicia for her actions. No way girl, don't apologize for calling someone a bitch when they were a bitch.
Salani Day 4
Sabrina is somewhat elected as tribe leader and I think it was more she mentioned they needed leadership and everyone sort of shook their heads and agreed that they needed a leader and she showed the best leadership by asking for someone to be a leader so they said she should be the leader. I think that's how it happened. That is akin to a small town thinking people are driving too fast in their town and because they can't agree on what the speed limit should be, they simply put up a sign that says Slow Down. And you know who had to put the sign up? Of course you do, It was the guy who brought up the idea that people should slow down when they drive through their town. Makes perfect sense.
Challenge
Un-tie ropes until they free a ring of steel. The guys win and get to keep the rope as well as a tarp. Sabrina says, "We needed that tarp much like a fat kid needs cake." Another knee slapper.
Manano Day 4
Mike says this is the best camp in the history of Survivor. NOPE, I disagree. The best camp was the year they had a contest to build an outhouse and two guys fell asleep in the outhouse getting drunk. NOW that was the best camp EVER. We then see Colton swinging on his swing and does nothing to help the guys at camp and they notice. He wanders over to the women's camp and talks with them and tells them he has no friends in the men's camp and then the women ask him to leave their camp because he isn't on their tribe. Dude has no alliances.
Manano Day 4
Tarzan does a dance in his underwear. Then Colton springs the great equalizer of a plan when he shows Trayzon, Jonas, Tarzan and Lief his idol. They come up with a plan to get rid of one of the big boys, Matt or Mike when the opportunity comes forward. Funny how a hidden immunity idol wipes the memory of people who only hours before wanted Colton gone, now according to Jonas, "Colton is very smart." Maybe if I find an idol my friends will think I'm smart too. If the GQ guys weren't so cocky, they might actually suspect something. As it happens in life and it happens in Survivor over and over again, the cocky players often times simply think everyone is on board with their plan and they will pick people off one by one and go to the final. Oh yes, and when they get voted off they always comment, "Those idiots don't know how to play this game." Well chump, those idiots just voted you off, so what does that make you? Let's see if this happens, again.
Challenge
Balance Beam Tango. Loved it, loved it. You take a balance beam and have every team member stand in a row and take the last person in line and make them transverse the 4inch beam from their end to the other without knocking their team off the beam or touching more than one person at a time. Poor Kat, this girl was out of her element. Sometimes you suck and sometimes you really suck like she did when she went into the water over and over again. This wasn't even close as the guys put their entire team of eight guys through the challenge while the girls only had one person finish.
Salini
Nina knows she is now on the chopping block not because of her skills but simply the older women are outnumbered by the younger women 5-3. She tries to work Chelsea and Kim who agree kat hasn't shown much, but they don't want to break their loyalty to the others.
Tribal Council
The girls take turns throwing each other under the bus and while it appears everyone agrees that Kat lost the challenge, they vote out Nina. The girls tribe totally confuses me right now. They want to win but they can't and they don't want to upset anybody either. Keeping Kat was the wrong choice. They all agreed she was the reason they lost again but they keep her over a stronger player. At this point in the game the younger women's alliance still holds a number advantage over the older group plus they have Colton, they should have gotten rid of Kat.
Next Week
More of the same.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Pay Attention Please
I have always said Survivor is a game of paying attention to your surroundings. Two jeeps come rolling into camp carrying men in one jeep and women in another. Refreshing, men vs women? Never been done before. The players jump out and Jeff asks a few questions which brings about some catcalls, chest bumping and assorted smiles. Courtney is dressed like a Dutch girl, Colton is gay and we have a Tarzan and Trayzon. The teams are instructed to strip everything off their jeeps that can be carried, they have 60 seconds. First question of the new season. How is it that while all the players are within about ten feet of another, the girls had no clue that Mike came over into their area and stole a pile of their supplies including an ax? Right under their noses. Had that been a Christmas Sale at Wal Mart the women would have killed him, hung him in the flat screen area and put a sign on him, MEN steer clear of the sale area or this will happen to you. Signed, The Women.
Camps
The tribes are sent on their way to their camps and find out they are sharing one camp. Soon we see Matt posing by a tree (His profile says, "I am smart, I am athletic and I am handsome." You forgot douche bag) anyhow Matt gloats about wanting to win .................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz The guys get a fire started and the girls would like some help getting a fire going so Christina goes over to negotiate for some help. Mike (His profile says, "Some people might think I am a dick." Who puts that on a resume? Banker ten years of experience, Graduated Harvard, I love to workout, donate to charity and people think I'm a dick) Mike doesn't want anything to do with a negotiation.
Alicia (pronounced A-LEE-SEA-AH) doesn't like it when Christina talks to the guys. Now I know what you women are going to say, why didn't Andy say something about her too tight top and her huge boobs? Because I didn't even notice them, that's why.
More on this later. Chelsea catches two chickens by hand. That's two more chickens than anybody has ever caught by hand on Survivor, ever. Colton attempts to bond with the women and makes a dent. "If any of you find an idol, I could really use it." Don't be so needy. Okay, my favorite player so far is Leif who is a Phlebotomist. For those of you who had to look it up he is someone who draws blood from people. He is a little person but what drew my attention to him, he has both nipples pierced.
That night the girls sneak over to the guys camp and steal some fire, however, they can't keep their fire lit.
Challenge
Jump into a cargo net, cross a balance beam and release your flag. Here's the thing, if I have never jumped into a cargo net from a height of 25 feet and the guy running the show tells me to jump out, land on your back and cross your hands over your chest, guess how I am jumping? Either some people were deaf or simply didn't listen. It appeared there wasn't much give when people landed on the net and we all saw Courtney's wrist give in three places when she landed wrong. Pay attention. Here's the thing part 7, the game is stopped when it becomes apparent Courtney was hurt. After medics take her away for x-rays Jeff gives the guys the option of taking the win or picking it up IF Courtney can return. The girls are little pissed when the guys simply take the win but the rules clearly state, all nine people have to finish. Get over it and move on. Sabrina finds an idol but the scroll of paper tells her she must give it away to someone in the other tribe. That is basically how the game has started for the women so far.
Tribal Council
A-LEE-SEA-AH and Christina get into a cat fight and then three or four of the women all start talking at once and I had absolutely no clue what any of them said. Jeff then tells them he has good news and bad news. Bad news is Courtney broke her wrist in three places but the good news is no one else has to go home. That's like saying I have good news and bad news. Your dad just got run over by a snow plow and is in the hospital recovering. The good news you have a snow day from school today, hurray.
Monica says it best, "We are basically doing whatever, no leadership." Really?
Next Week
Apparently the women still aren't organized, Leif gets another piercing and I finally notice A-LEE-SEA-AHs big boobs.
Camps
The tribes are sent on their way to their camps and find out they are sharing one camp. Soon we see Matt posing by a tree (His profile says, "I am smart, I am athletic and I am handsome." You forgot douche bag) anyhow Matt gloats about wanting to win .................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz The guys get a fire started and the girls would like some help getting a fire going so Christina goes over to negotiate for some help. Mike (His profile says, "Some people might think I am a dick." Who puts that on a resume? Banker ten years of experience, Graduated Harvard, I love to workout, donate to charity and people think I'm a dick) Mike doesn't want anything to do with a negotiation.
Alicia (pronounced A-LEE-SEA-AH) doesn't like it when Christina talks to the guys. Now I know what you women are going to say, why didn't Andy say something about her too tight top and her huge boobs? Because I didn't even notice them, that's why.
More on this later. Chelsea catches two chickens by hand. That's two more chickens than anybody has ever caught by hand on Survivor, ever. Colton attempts to bond with the women and makes a dent. "If any of you find an idol, I could really use it." Don't be so needy. Okay, my favorite player so far is Leif who is a Phlebotomist. For those of you who had to look it up he is someone who draws blood from people. He is a little person but what drew my attention to him, he has both nipples pierced.
That night the girls sneak over to the guys camp and steal some fire, however, they can't keep their fire lit.
Challenge
Jump into a cargo net, cross a balance beam and release your flag. Here's the thing, if I have never jumped into a cargo net from a height of 25 feet and the guy running the show tells me to jump out, land on your back and cross your hands over your chest, guess how I am jumping? Either some people were deaf or simply didn't listen. It appeared there wasn't much give when people landed on the net and we all saw Courtney's wrist give in three places when she landed wrong. Pay attention. Here's the thing part 7, the game is stopped when it becomes apparent Courtney was hurt. After medics take her away for x-rays Jeff gives the guys the option of taking the win or picking it up IF Courtney can return. The girls are little pissed when the guys simply take the win but the rules clearly state, all nine people have to finish. Get over it and move on. Sabrina finds an idol but the scroll of paper tells her she must give it away to someone in the other tribe. That is basically how the game has started for the women so far.
Tribal Council
A-LEE-SEA-AH and Christina get into a cat fight and then three or four of the women all start talking at once and I had absolutely no clue what any of them said. Jeff then tells them he has good news and bad news. Bad news is Courtney broke her wrist in three places but the good news is no one else has to go home. That's like saying I have good news and bad news. Your dad just got run over by a snow plow and is in the hospital recovering. The good news you have a snow day from school today, hurray.
Monica says it best, "We are basically doing whatever, no leadership." Really?
Next Week
Apparently the women still aren't organized, Leif gets another piercing and I finally notice A-LEE-SEA-AHs big boobs.
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