I'm so confused......

I’m so confused………….. When you start with three tribes of six and one tribe gets decimated because they can’t win a challenge, it usually means the other two tribes will swoop down and attempt to gobble up the remaining players from the decimated tribe to strengthen the numbers of their own tribe. Confusion reigns down when the decimated tribe then has its remaining two members divided and one goes to each tribe and loyalty begins to be questioned in each tribe as the question arises: “How can you become friends with people with whom your were just competing with and are now are your tribe?” Now you throw in the fact a merge is coming at some point and you have to take into account the two members of the smallest tribe are still in the game and could be reunited because of a merge and could renew their alliance. Then you have to worry about who is going to ask who to the prom, make sure you don’t get the same dress as that bitch next door and bikini waxing. Everybody got that? Good….and break. Kalabaw Night 16 Denise has now and will continue to go to each and every tribal elimination council until she is voted out or makes it to the final. I think only one other player in years past, Stephanie Lagrossa, had this distinction of ever having to go to each tribal council during a season. Jonathon guesses that Katie, who was voted out last week, was the person who cast her vote for him last week. Jeff Kent continues to say he doesn’t want to be voted out before Jonathon, yes dude we know, you mention this at least five to six times per episode. I put it on my computer’s calendar to remind me just in case I forget. Jonathon also talks to the camera and makes the most logical comment of the season, “I forget that other people might be lying to me.” People lie on Survivor? Tandang and Kalabaw Day 17 A boat shows up at each camp and the tribes have ten minutes to pack their stuff and climb on their perspective boats. The merge is here. Ah crap, somebody forgot to pack the toilet paper. Dangrayne I might have fallen asleep but I don’t remember any discussion of the new tribe name. All I saw was a flag with the name. We see the tribes talking on their new beach and we see Lisa hanging everyone’s clothes us. Yes it is important to collect wood, build the shelter and have Alice from the Brady Bunch hang your clothes up to dry. Uh oh, Lisa is hanging Malcolm’s clothes up and finds his hidden immunity idol. Of course Malcolm and friend Denise notice this and they immediately go talk to Lisa who apologizes for going through his stuff and then Malcolm says I am your slave and the three form a weird bartender, sex therapist and actress threesome. This by far is the strangest threesome of an alliance I think I have seen on Survivor. We then see former actors Jonathon and Lisa talking about their acting past and how cool it is to be doing other things now. No one other than Jonathon or Jeff Skupin even know that Lisa used to be on television at this point. Not sure if anyone will care anyhow at this point. Oh yeah, Jeff Kent tells us once again that he doesn’t want Jonathon to win, yes once again. Talk centers around voting out either RC or Jonathon and Abi says, “This will be fun.” Challenge Grasp a bar which has a rope strung around it which is tied to a bucket holding 25% of your body weight in sand. The idea is to not let your bar unravel the rope which in turn would drop your bucket. Two immunities are at stake, one for the women and one for the men. Denise wins the women’s side, which isn’t really surprising. Then it comes down to Jeff Kent against Carter. It really doesn’t matter which one of these two wins anyhow so Jeff lets his bucket hit the ground giving Carter the win for the men. Back at camp RC tells us that her and Mike Skupin are in the majority. Not according to published reports from the other side. For the 57th time this season Jeff Kent tells us he doesn’t want to leave before Jonathon Penner. For the love of God we get it. Next week we start a drinking game, every time Jeff Kent mentions that he doesn’t want Jonathon to beat him in this game, we all shot gun a beer. But Jeff also realizes he is in the majority right now but he is lower on that social totem pole and it would be a matter of time before he gets voted out. If he flips then he risks alienating people from his original tribe but he would have a greater chance of finishing higher in the game. That is the dilemma, okay everybody shotgun a beer. Tribal Council RC says Tandang is family and sometimes family fight. Abi has none of it and says she is no friend of RC anymore. Bitch must have bought the same prom dress and arrived at the prom first. Lisa who is impressing by playing this game points out that her tribe Tandang should stay together as they have a six to five advantage and that Denise and Malcolm are were in the same tribe but now reunited. I would have said the first thing but lady, you know Malcolm has an idol and you did make a promise not to tell anyone and now you throw them under the bus. Sometimes the best thing to say in this game is nothing. Penner plays his idol and saves his butt as he gets 5 votes. Pete gets two votes but RC is sent packing as she gets four votes. Pete needs to pay attention now as people who get votes as tribal are either the easy out or people don’t like you. He might have wanted to keep RC around as she wasn’t well liked but and this is a BIG BUTT it is better to be the second least like person as opposed to the least liked person which he probably is now. Next Week Penner is on the war path.

Why I still hate soccer.........

"Soccer still sucks no matter who is playing or where you play it," -Andy Fairbanks 2012- Kalabaw Night 13 Katie knows she is the odd man out, or in this case the odd beauty pagent contestant out. She sucks at challenges, she complains and well... she simply doesn't know how to play the game of Survivor very well which is usually important especially when you are playing the game of Survivor. I think for my next video I am going to tell them I won the Miss 4H Pagent of 1978 in Fremont, Ohio. Who the hell checks on these things anyhow? I could send in a picture of me tipping over a cow or something, yeah that's it. Tandang We find out that returning player Mike Skupin is very good at something, that being eating all the tribes rice. Pete calls Mike useless....wait a minute you just said he is good at eating all the rice,,,,dude make up your mind. Artis also complains about MIke. You see the thing I am finding about Artis is the only thing he does is complain, other than that he keeps to himself. Reward Challenge Okay by a show of hands, other than The World Cup or The Olympics or when you watched one of your kids play in one of those elementary soccer games on a cold rainy Saturday morning where they don't keep score and parents bring the post game snacks and everybody gets a frickin' participation ribbon for putting their shoes on the correct foot (parents included),,,,taking a breath,,,,,,,,, when was the last time you actually sat down and watched an entire game of soccer? I will tell you when....NEVER. Okay wait a minute, I just remembered that two of my readers have nephews that play soccer so I'm sorry up front but I'm not sorry when I say, soccer is boring. Last night the challenge was to move a six foot high soccer type ball across the playing the field and score goals. The action lasted for about three minutes (which is about average for a regulation soccer game) and "As God as my witness," for the next hour the ball didn't move as the three players from each team were more intereted in mud wrestling than actually trying to score. Let me repeat that, the ball didn't move for over an hour. This was more boring than, dare I say it, "More boring than actually watching a soccer game," and I didn't even get a partcipation ribbon, bastards. Actress Lisa actually had Denise pinned in the mud, way to go girl. Anyhow a deal was struck that Kalabaw would win the reward of a picnic lunch and in return give all their rice to Tandang. Thank God that's over. Kalabaw It was actually more interesting to watch them eat their lunch of sandwiches and brownies than to watch the soccer game. Jonathon promised the group he would get some fish when they returned to camp to make up for not having any rice. Oh yes, they got letters from home but never read one line to us on how Aunt Martha's goiter was doing or if Grandma's broken hip had healed or if Uncle Henry had been released from prison as of yet. Tandang Artis is pissed that Skupin negotiated for the rice and didn't want to win the challenge. Lisa and Abi agree that they basically forfeited the challenge. Remind me here, wasn't this the same group that was complaining about Skupin eating all the rice and now he negotiated for more rice and they are still complaining? And Artis and Abi, weren't your asses sitting on the bench during the challenge? Why did you sit out? You didn't win the challenge but you got more rice and you didn;'t have to do a damn thing other than watch a soccer game. Hell I would have complained beacause I had to watch a soccer game. I will have to go back and watch the show on video but I think the censors missed bleeping out Abi when she said, "F*&^%$# stupid." Oh yes my favorite moment of the night was RC wearing a dress coat over her bikini, looked like a hooker on the Vegas strip. Kalabaw Jonathon comes through and goes fishing and brings back three fish. Three fish that would fit into the average household fish bowl that is. Let's all stand and give him a round of polite golf applause. "Pure Protein," he says. Enough pure protein for the average household goldfish that is. Immunity Challenge Slingshots and Lacrosse sticks. The teams shot slingshots with lacrosse balls into the air while team-mates tried to catch them with lacross sticks. Tandang wins 5 - 4 and of course Jeff Probst points out that "Katie is completely ineffective in this challenge." Way to go Jeff, throw her under the bus. Kalabaw Jeff Kent and Carter talk about voting out either Katie or Jonathon. The dilema is, Katie sucks at challenges but is loyal and an easy vote out later. Jonathon has the idol and might do a blindside on them later in the game. Kalabaw will be down 7 - 4 after this vote out so this is a tough decision. Carter and Jeff Kent both say they would hate it if, "Later in the game Jonathon blindsides us." Tough choice, keep the stronger player who has an idol and has played this game before and flipped sides or a weaker player who more than likely won't flip on you. By the way, the newest member Denise is fitting in just fine once again. She is doing all the right things and at this point in the game no one has been talking about voting for her at any time. As Jeff and Carter are sitting there, Jon Penner walks up and asks, "Well guys, who are we voting tonight." Carter speaks up and says, "Katie or Penner,,,,,,I mean Katie or Denise." Yikes, he is a blonde isn't he? Tribal Council Jeff Kent points out that Carter was simply outmuscled in the game. I want to point out that Carter is a track coach and got outmuscled. Isn't he supposed to be an athlete? Jonathon points out that because the tribe is so close, the vote will be a blindside to whomever gets voted out. Katie is the second former beauty queen to get voted out this season. Next week it looks like the merge is coming and Thank God it didn't appear that there were any soccer challenges.

Things can change at the drop of a buff.....

In one of my recents blogs I noted that just when you think you have this game figured out............. Matsing Day 10 Wow, each of the three tribes started with six players and since Matsing has lost the first four challenges they are down to Denise and Malcolm. The good thing about these two is they are positive people. These two are smiling and joking and basically come to the realization that their days are probably numbered. They spend the morning looking for the idol and after picking up the lid to the rice several times, Malcolm finally pulls the handle off the lid to find the idol. Even Denise cheers knowing full well it is Malcolm who has benefitted from this small triumph. They are both hoping that they will be added to the other tribes in lieu of having a two person challenge. Reward Challenge All three tribes arrive for a reward reward challenge, but first.................I remember back in the old Survivor days they had a reward challenge as well as an immunity. My favorite was when one tribe won toilet paper an outhouse. Two of the guys on the team actually slept in the wooden outhouse one night during a rain storm. It would have to have been raining pretty hard for me to spend a night in an outhouse. But I digress. Both tribes are given a servind tray which has an idol sitting on top, It is a simple game where by you simply attempt to knock the other person idol off of their tray. The first person's idol to hit the ground loses. Oh yes, beforehand we find out that Malcolm and Denise are to drop their buffs and pull a new one from a bag. Denise lands on Kalabaw and Malcolm goes to Tandang. After many quick and boring matches it is Malcolm who defeats Jeff. Actually he won by tossing his own high in the air and pushing Jeff's off of his tray which immediately hit the ground. Pretty smart. Tandang wins the Holiday Inn continental breakfast reward of coffee, tea and biscuits. "Did you find the hidden immunity idol? No but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night." Back at Tandang You talk about a guy whose fate changed in the game very quickly, it would be Malcolm. Earlier in the day he was on a tribe that had two people left, it was raining, they had very little hope. Fast forward about ten minutes and he finds an idol, people welcome him to camp and then Peter tells Malcolm he wants to be his buddy and ....oh by way....Peter tells him he has an idol. As God as my witness I can't remember one player in the history of game of Survivor who had one foot on the plank and the other extended extended out over the ocean as he was about to get pushed into shark infested waters and then.......well then the captain of the ship says, "Dude, we were just kidding, get back on this ship you big duffus, give me a hug." Back at Kalabaw Denise shows up to camp and is welcomed with open arms also. The three girls in camp realize they now have a four to three advantage over the guys.................until. Katie points out that the women in camp now have a four to three advantage over the guys. Meantime, veteran player Jonathon approaches Denise and tells her that two of the girls Dawson and Katie are weak players and he invites her to join the guys alliance and she quickly says yes. So now Denise who was soon to follow Malcolm in walking the plank, has new life as well and a new alliance also. Then.............well then Dana who is linked with Katie and Dawson gets very sick and is soon on a boat going home, gave up, quit, whatever you call it. The doctors told her she was in no medical danger but I think she had just had enough of the rain. The challenge Run through an obstacle course, untie ropes to drop a drawbridge. gather puzzle pieces and put together the puzzle. Something to remember here, Abi from is asked to sit out yet another challenge for Tandang because they are one person up. The producers make a point to show this and by the look on Abi's face she is either volunteering to sit out againg or she isn't very happy about it. Tandang wins the challenge by a few seconds and it quite honestly came down to Katie not being able to transverse the first part of the obstacle course and held up the tribe as they only lost by a few seconds. Oh yes, Dawson wouldn't let Jonathon help her with the puzzle which didn't help either. Pre Council It is very evident that either Dawson or Katie is going home. One thing happens or better yet doesn't happen. Dawson knows that one of her tribemates is Jeff Kent who is a former major league baseball player and no one else knows this. When your head is on the chopping block, use anything, something, throw a rock, run with scissors, put your finger in an electric outlet, do something to save yourself. It doesn't mean people would have changed their mind but had she let everyone know that he was a former player, they might have changed their thinking about him because he has already made millions. Jeff is a smart player and is playing very well Dawson keeps her mouth shut and doesn't say a word and is sent home. Quick Review As it often times goes, it is the little things in this game that people take notice of and can change a game. Two players were walking the plank...... and then,...... they are told to drop their buffs, someone gets sick, someone does bad at a challenge and bingo bango, two people who were on a team that hadn't lost a challenge are now out of the game and suddenly two players who were on the ropes are now linked with the cool kids. You can never take for granted your place in this game because tomorrow something could happen that changes everything. Next Week. It appears to be a rough challenge and Artis gets pissed.

Repeating History

Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it -Socrates This week we are going to add a section called, “Would I have done it that way?” Matsing Day 9 To take a quote from Star Wars, “The total destruction of the rebel alliance will soon be complete.” The total destruction of the Matsing tribe is almost complete and they don’t have Luke Skywalker nor Obi Won Kanobi on their side. Three challenges, three defeats and now down to three members left in their tribe vs. six in each of the other two. Once again the talk around camp centers around who to vote out. “Would I have have talked about who to vote out?” Not before I knew what the challenge was, what’s the point. All you are doing is promoting negative thoughts before a challenge. Meanwhile over at Tandang… This tribe appears to be very strong as they have a tarp, they have this, they have that, but cue the theatre music, they are about to lose their head. Abi openly tells RC she doesn’t want to talk to her anymore, evidently she re-evaluated her “Three minutes after we met, I look good in a bikini you look good in a bikini let’s be best buds for life alliance,” has worn off. That will happen when your best bud (RC) tells you that she has found a clue to the hidden immunity idol –AND- reads you the clue aloud. Then best bud B (Abi) goes out and finds the idol right under RC’s nose. Peter jumps on the boat and wants to cause chaos and reassures Abi that he doesn’t trust RC either. “Would I have taken the clue knowledge supplied to me and found the idol?” I would have done half of what Abi did. She found the idol (Which I would have done or at least looked for it) but she also previously told Peter she was given the clue and then she tells him she found the idol. WTF? She now risks that her first friend RC sticks around past the merge so she will find out that Abi has the idol and Peter now has the ability to blindside Abi. Two bad things could be bring the end to Abi. Take control of what you can control in the game and quit giving up decided advantages. She is already buds with Peter, what did she gain from spilling the beans? Kalabaw Jonathon who has found the hidden immunity at their camp now wants to buddy up with both Jeff and Carter. While the three guys are out collecting food in the water they talk. Earlier in the game we heard Jeff say that he wanted Jonathon gone, he did this if front of the entire tribe. By telling the tribe he wants Jonathon gone and now thinking about keeping him might put him on the chopping block later because of a trust issue. Now he sounds like his running for president as he says, “I need to re-evaluate my thoughts and might want to partner up with Jonathon.” “Would I have told the others I had found the idol if I was Jonathon?” In this case maybe, he knows he is a returning player and people might want him gone because of that. I need to write a Cardinal Rule subsection for returning players. The way he approached Jeff was beneficial and he also spoke loud enough for Carter to hear who was standing close by. Experience is kicking in with Jonathon as he wanted Carter to hear the conversation. The three guys are gone from camp for about two hours and the three girls in the tribe are very aware that the guys are probably forming an alliance because they have been gone so long. Ya think? I am guessing the guys are thinking the same about the girls at this point. Quick Review The two tribes who have won all the challenges and haven’t had to vote anyone out are dividing at the seams. Yes folks this game is as much psychological as physical. That and the fact you never know when Jeff Probst might show up and say, drop your buffs, we are realigning the teams. You have to expect anything is this game. The Immunity Challenge The teams will take turns carrying two heavy clay pots via a long log which you carry over your shoulders. They must transverse through an obstacle course and then set the pots on top of posts of varying heights. If a survivor drops or breaks a pot along the route they simply have to return and start over. The goal is to set six rice filled pots and then use a ball on a rope to swing and break the pots. Something not to be overlooked here is the tribes who haven’t lost a challenge must sit out three players and each team decides to have all the girls sit out. This does not go un-noticed by the girls on both tribes. Unfortunately Matsing has the lead early for the first time in any challenge, but loses yet again. Russell goes off on a rant once again. Pre-Tribal Council Malcolm, Denise and Russell takes turns talking to one another knowing full well one of them is going home. As I watch this go on at camp the only thing I know for sure is, I don’t know who is going home. I would have thought at this point Russell, who has a clue to the hidden idol in their camp, would have spent his entire time looking for the idol which he doesn’t. ”Would I have looked for the idol at this point?” Ah, hell yes. I wouldn’t care if the other two knew it, I have a one in three chance of going home and if I find the idol I am staying so I would have taken advantage of my last opportunity to stay. Tribal Council Again, I had not clue as to who was going home, but Russell is voted out. It basically came down to either Denise or Russel with no one talking about voting out Malcolm. Let's rewind to last week, the same Malcolm who was chastised for snuggling with Angie who was voted out last week. Short memories and this shows how fast your head can go on and off of the chopping block. Knowledge is King Getting back to the title of this blog. People continue to make the same mistakes as players from the past. The Hidden Immunity Idol is just that, hidden, people don’t know you have it, that is the biggest individual advantage you can have in this game. While Denise and Malcolm did look through Russell’s “stuff” to see if he had the idol from their camp before they voted, that’s called games-man-ship. At least Jonathon had a plan when he told Jeff he had the idol over at Kalabaw. Meanwhile at Tandang, Abi seems just to be happy that her former best bud RC doesn’t have the idol. I am guessing Jonathon uses the idol to his advantage while Abi, well Abi gets blindsided because of her over confidence in herself, she won’t think anyone is voting for her. Three things hold true in Survivor. One, If you play the idol at tribal council you can’t get voted out that night. Two, find a way to use the hidden immunity idol to your advantage. Three and probably most importantly, build trust within your group, not just a couple of people. For some reason RC doesn’t have the trust of her tribe mates and will probably be the first of her tribe to go because of it. She was readily available to tell everyone she doesn't trust Lisa early on, but has no clue how to defend that when her name comes up as untrustworthy. For someone who says she is a super fan and knows how to play, she doesn’t look the part. As with past players who were cocky in the beginning, she doesn't have a plan B.

Cuddling vs. Can't Do

There are some things you should always do on Survivor like pitch in and help, make friends and generally be yourself. There are things you should never, ever do like tell your tribe, “I can’t do that challenge.” Nor do you have someone tell you about a hidden immunity idol clue and then go behind their back and find it yourself. Breaking a trust is huge in this game. Quick review We see that Jonathon Penner has found an idol which was actually the handle to the rice box, very clever by the way. Lisa is still crying. RC tells her best bud Abi about the clue she found on where to find the idol. To quote Homer Simpson, “DOH.” Let’s all recite the Hidden Immunity Idol crede, “Never tell anyone you have the idol –OR- more importantly never tell anyone what the clue says, unless of course you have already found the idol.” Matsing Day 6 This tribe has already lost two challenges and instead of talking about how to improve they are talking about who to vote out next. Why don’t your try to win a challenge instead of talking about losing. Someone forgot to tie the raft down so they have lost their raft when the tide came in. To quote Homer Simpson a second time, “DOH II.” Tandang This is going to sound like a soap opera but……RC tells Abi that she has found a clue to the idol and even tells her what the clue says. Abi immediately runs to Peter and tells him she doesn’t trust RC but at the same time breaks that trust by telling Peter that RC has told her the words in the clue to find the idol. Abi then goes out and find the idol. Of course her comment was, “I found the idol, I knew where it was the whole time.” No you didn’t because the idol was sitting in your camp for nine days girl, right in front of your face. Sound like a reality show doesn’t it? Immunity Challenge Dive into the water and swim out to rope which is anchored to the bottom of the lake. There are puzzle pieces attached and each progressive piece is tied deeper into the water. It appears the last piece is about twelve to fifteen feet underwater. Once again Matsing finishes last meaning they must vote someone out. Angie, who is all of 20 years old couldn’t even go two feet under water to untie the first puzzle piece. 2 feet underwater people, yes two feet underwater which is about one inch deeper than your bathtub. Girl must have really rough time if she drops her soap during her Saturday night bath. Halfway through the challenge Angie says, “I can’t do this.” NO, NO, NO, never admit you can’t do a challenge while a challenge is going on. Of course not to be outdone, Russell can’t even climb up the two foot ladder out of the water. Maybe he should have had one of those monitors around his neck, “Help I’ve fallen and can’t climb a two foot ladder.” Let’s review, one person can’t go down two feet and the other can’t go up two feet. By the way RC was hands down the best swimmer of everyone in this challenge. Hopefully people took notice as there will be more water challenges to come. She could be a huge threat in upcoming individual challenges. Tandang The only thing I have to say about Tandang is this, Artis complained that Mike broke the goggles during the challenge. Artis can indeed speak after nine days of not speaking. My thoughts were Survivor had recruited a monk to play this game. Matsing They are going to tribal council and it is quite apparent that Russell and Angie are on the chopping block. At this point it comes down to who is the weakest link, two people who can’t do much in challenges really. My vote at this point would be to keep Russell simply because he will be loyal but will be the easier vote off later on because his mouth will get him into trouble. Angie cuddled with Malcom early on and he realizes that, “There is no cuddling at night on Survivor.” There is no crying nor cuddling allowed on Survivor. Tribal Council Denise says she has given up a lot leaving family and clients behind……….cue the violins please. Everyone who has ever played this game has left something or somebody behind. Although I think Denise is by far one of the smartest players in this game. Malcolm says Angie and Russell both struggled and the time to step up and play harder is now, “This ain’t sixth grade dodge ball.” Angie is voted off. Next Week Mike Skupin sustains his 57th injury of the year and Matsing must win a challenge or at the very least finish second so they don’t have to vote someone out.

Cookies and Booby Traps

Ah yes, week two and paranoia is already setting in, that usually doesn't happen until week four or five so this crew is way ahead of the norm. Matsing Night 3 (Paranoia Part 1) Russell tells us he was on the chopping block last week and needs to back off on the leadership role. Bueaty queen Angie and Bartender Malcolm are both cold during the night and cuddle with each other. (By the way Angie helped me write this post and spell checked her work on her car's GPS unit............yeah. Do I need to say more?) Back to Malcolm and Angie. A hunky bartender and a beauty pagent queen hooking up, what are the odds on that? Meanwhile, God's number 1 Survivor disciple Roxy notices this sinful behavior. "We have to get rid of one of them." Cue the side music, "Dun, Dun, Dun." Tandang Day 4 (Paranoia Part 2) Banker RC finds a clue to the hidden immunity idol in the rice. RC shares this information with her best bud Latina born Abi and they dance and hug and do the things that Malcolm and Angie were doing, but I guess since it's two hot girls in bikinis on a beach hugging and touching, THATS ACCEPTABLE. Who am I to judge. RC then is seen talking to Mike and afterward best bud Abi confronts RC about this conversation and tells her, "You were talking to Mike a long time and don't *&^% with me." See, I just proved my point, Mike wasn't wearing a bikini so he isn't allowed to talk with someone wearing a bikini, I am so smart. Kalabaw Day 4 It rains and rains so the tribe moves to a cave in an effort to keep dry. Oh wait a minute, Jonathon Penner stays behind at camp. This tribe may be the strongest but here's the thing, and here comes my, "Have they ever watched a single episode of Survivor....." they are leaving a three time player behind at camp by himself after they have said, "We think he is looking for the idol." So why would you allow this guy to be by himself which would what? Allow him to look for the idol. Of course he finds the idol which, by the way wasn't in a tree. I will give the producers credit for where it was hidden this time, right out in the open where anyone could have found it. Here's the problem that Jonathon has now, he has bonded with no one. Granted he found the idol but that saves him for one day. Matsing Day 5 Roxy tells Russell and Denise about the whole Malcolm and Angie thing. Here's my two cents about doing this. It is a good thing to provide this information about others but....and this is a big but....you need to be very good at the game playing side including challenges if you do this............Unfortunately for Roxy Denise takes notice of here antics. Denise is a very smart player (to remind she is the sex therapist, I will remind you of that often) she is a very smart player and has aligned herself with both Russell and Malcolm. I know it is early in this game bit a tribe who is down early in this game and loses challenges often times form a strong bond when weaker players aren't there to drag them down. Tandang Day 5 Lisa is having a hard time because as she says, "I am an introvert." A message here from the Survivor Emergency Broadcast System, "Attention future players, if you want to do well in this game, don't be introverted." Thank you. Then we get special bonus coverage for a "Survivor Breakdown," moment, complete with subtitles. Honest to God, Survivor now think, we the fans, don't know when someone is breaking down. Yes, we have reached Nirvana. I am talking about the Nirvana of inner peace and not the rock band headed by Kurt Cobain who died of a cocain overdose. I had to clear that up. Anyhow, the tribe thinks Lisa can't be trusted as whe always goes out by herself. I actually feel sorry for her to a point but then again I go back to my most repeated quote, "Have you never watched a single episode of Survivor." What part of the game did you think was going to be easy? Matsing Day 6 Roxy's turn to breakdown because of all the rain. Then the sun comes out and Roxy is seen lying on the beach praying. I will say this about this game, when they say no privacy, they are right. Denise makes the most obvious comment, "People need to dig deep to play this game." Challenge Each team will have two players drag a sled over the sand to pick up heavy puzzle pieces and return to the puzzle table to put together three puzzles. Roxy tells her team that she "Hasn't been drinking much water so she is weak." Really? Play the game and shut up. One of my cardinal rules, "Never show weakness and never tell others you can't do something." Go out and suck at a challenge but when you tell people you suck, you just re-inforced what they already knew. Tandang wins and gets a tarp, blankets and pillows. Kalabaw is second and gets a tarp which of course means Matsing is sending someone homem Matsing Pre-Council Talk centers around either Angie or Roxy. Angie and Malcolm are too close per what Roxy continues to say. Malcolm points out in a confessional that he is probably getting to close to Angie, but she is attractive. He also points out that Roxy does nothing around camp. Cue the music again, "Dun, dun, dun." Tribal Council Russell is emotional because he doesn't like losing. Denise says they are in a stage of accusing each other, but that happens when you lose. Roxy, oh dear Roxy, when Jeff asks her the question, "If you could change anything around camp, what would it be." Her answer is, "We have too much energy at camp and people are always getting wood or water. We need to rest more." Coming fron someone who doesn't work very hard, yeah, not the right thing to say. However, when Jeff asks Angie the same question her reply is, "We need cookies." As God as my witness I sat up in my chair and one second before Jeff said, "Really?", I said the same thing. At that point the looks on everyone faces was the same, "Really." I do attribute this to her age, but "Cookies." Roxy then calls out Malcolm and Angie for their relationship and says, "She is setting up a booby trap." Nice one. Roxy apologizies for the reference but she knew what she was saying. Roxy then tells the group, "Good luck if you pick her over me." Surprise, surprise, boobs win out over God and Roxy is sent packing. In hind sight I think they voted the right person out because quite simply Roxy sucked at challenges, didn't do much at camp and was a negative person. Angie ain't smart but having someone on your team who isn't smart in this game means a vote in your favor and of course she's not very smart which increases your odds of winning. Also, you don't want two people in your alliance who hate each other. Next Week Lise is cautiously optimistic and Skupin might be on the chopping block.

Sum-Bitch

The start of a new Survivor season brings a smile to my face and tones of “I told you so,” to my voice. 3 of the 18 players on this season’s version of Survivor are returning players who sustained injuries in previous season. Within the first two days of this season, 2 of these 3 players have not developed a good relationship with their tribes which is never a good sign. Then we have a former major league baseball player with 17 years of baseball experience, injures his knee three minutes into the game, yes I said three minutes into the game. Finally we have a former children’s television star who has seen every episode, is a big fan, but is seen crying in next week’s preview wondering aloud if she has was it takes to continue. Yes folks, its Survivor season once again. Boat Entrance Jeff is seen entering this season driving his mom and dad’s new speed boat, hopefully he asked them if he could borrow it. He docks up next to a larger boat which has 15 new contestants who are not allowed to talk to one another until Jeff says so. Two of the contestants provide their thoughts, “Hope there are no past players nor any celebrities playing.” For those of you playing along at home, that is called foreshadowing, research it, study it and be ready to recite it. Next we see another boat show up with three former players who were injured in previous seasons. Jeff then says the three teams have 60 seconds to unload everything they can from the boat and load them onto their prospective rafts for immediate launch. Sort of like the divorce decree, thanks for playing, hugs and kisses now get your shit and get out. Matsing Tribe Returning player Russell tells everyone in his tribe that he doesn’t want to be the leader of the tribe and then starts telling everyone what to do. Angie tells us she is a former Miss teen Utah and that Russell is bossy. Malcolm lived in Micronesia for a year (This ain’t your mom’s Micronesia dude) and Zane has a tattoo of Frankenstein on his arm. WTF? He dropped out of school at 17 because “you don’t make money going to school.” What great logic, why did I go to school at all. He retreads tires now. (Oh yeah, that’s why) Denise is a sex therapist. I am wondering, if I get hurt having sex is she who I go to, to get healed? I wonder what the rehab would be like? You thought the same thing. Zane tells everyone he has an alliance with everyone. DUH? Why? Kalabaw Tribe Returning player Jonathon Penner shakes hands, kisses babies and then starts looking for the hidden immunity idol which isn’t a bad thing unless of course, everyone knows you are looking for the idol which of course happens. Dana picks up on this and wants him gone now. Sarah says she knows who Jeff Kent is on team and that he played major league baseball….uh oh….somebody knows him. Tandong Tribe Returning player Michael Skupin makes friends immediately. KC who is a banker says she is ready for anything because she can hail a taxi in her high heels. I can chew gum, walk and talk at the same time but you don’t me bragging about that. Michael then does something smart, on the sly he goes up to former childhood tv star Lise Welchel and tells her he knows who she is. Doesn’t make a big deal of it but points its out. Abi starts playing the flirting girl when she asks hunk Pete to cut a piece of wood for her. RC points out that Lisa can’t be trusted. I will point out here that you should read RC’s profile on Survivor Fever, thinks an awful lot of herself. Matsing Tribe Russel finds a clue in the rice for the hidden immunity idol. Zane sees Russell reading something and tells everyone in the tribe. Everyone now thinks Russell has an idol. Immunity Step one is to have two tribe mates run up a cargo net and release the paddles for a boat. The next two will row out and untie a large box containing puzzle pieces and bring it back to shore. The third two-some will put the puzzle together. Russell again pisses off his tribe mates when he assigns Roxanne and Angie to do the puzzle even though they both say they are lousy at puzzles. Guess what, their tribe loses, imagine that. Dumbest Idea Part Two Thinking back to last season when the men’s tribe gave um immunity after winning the challenge, I thought that was dumb. This move from Zane was even dumber. Dude goes back to camp and tells everyone to vote for him because he lost the challenge and he is a hinderance. He then goes off camera and says this could be the best idea ever, “telling everyone to vote for me so everyone won’t vote for me.” I am going to re-type that part slowly so you can re-read it slowly. Zane tells people to vote him off the island because he doesn’t want them to vote for him. Getting back to his Frankenstein Tatoo for a moment do you realize if you add the letter “I” to Frankenstein you get Frank Einstein, to steal a phrase from that one beer commercial, “Brilliant.” Anyhow he gets voted out which for a dumbass should be expected. Oh his way out you hear him mumble “Sum-Bitch.” The tribe voted correctly in keeping Russell who is strong, vs Zane, who, I am not sure how to describe that guy other than wild card. Next Week Our television star cries and a storm hits.