Volcanoes and Camp Fires

So what did we learn from last night's show?
-)We learned you can ride a sled down the side of a volcano, but you need to be wearing a hot suit while you do this.
-)You always need a plan B, even if it sucks.
-)You can start a really great fire by using wood products, really.
-)I am not sure but I don't think there is a fire department in Nicaragua.
Libertad Night 24
I want to first preface this next comment. Before the show started last night I wrote down the following: "This is usually the part of the game that people start to contemplate making a big move in this game." We hear Brenda say once again that her and Sash have all the power. Holly tells Jane and then Benry and then Naonka and then the lady who drives the sandwich truck for Survivor that Brenda is running this game and they need to get rid of her. WOW, the lady who almost quit at day 5 is playing hard now. The group then notices that rain is on the way so the ten of them decide to move all the wooden items closer to the fire to keep the breeze from putting the fire out while they are gone to the challenge. Re-read that sentence a few times before moving on. I am not sure where Dan is at during all of this but Kelli two legs is busy counting her toes, this little piggy went to market....... What does this girl do all day and how in the hell did she make in on the show? She may be the worst Survivor player of alltime. I ain't done with her yet.
Challenge
Barrels and planks. The tribes are split up and have to move across a stretch of sand by using planks and barrels without touching the ground. As I watching this an idea came to mind, what do you need the barrels for? Maybe I missed something in the explantion but hear me out. Jeff said they couldn't touch the ground but I don't think I heard him say you had to use barrels. If you take one shoe off and throw it out in front of the first plank about four feet then you then lay the plank on your shoe and repeat this process with everyone's shoes preventing one end of the plank from hitting the ground. What the shoes does is provide a little space so you can pick the plank back up off the ground to use it again. You can reach down and pick up your shoe as well. You just repeat this process over the entire course. Just sayin. The blue team wins easily and gets to ride a helicopter to the volcano. Naonka said she has never ridden in a helicopter but I am quite sure she has seen her share of these flyin' around the hood through the years. OH WHAT, don't look at me that way. You were thinkin' it but you just didn't have the courage to say it out loud.
Back at Camp
Sash, Holly, Dan, Benry and Brenda find that the wooden chests with their food which they placed very close to the fire to keep the breezes away have burned to a crisp. DAH? Even Abe Lincoln was smart enough to build a log cabin with the forsight to build the fire place out of non-wood items. What did you expect? When the winners return Naonka is on a mission to get Brenda out and is so confident she tells Brenda the plan. Chase soon follows suit but reassures Brenda he won't vote for her. Having said Brenda makes the comment, "I'm not even impressed with their plan." I can see why, the only person who has your back is the one you called brainless earlier. Must be quite the confidence builder. By the way, Chase and Naonka are creeping down to Kelli's stupid level by running and telling the people who they are going to vote out that, the group is going to vote them out.
Immunity Challenge - Last one in the pool wins.
PX 90 workout queen Jane leaves the youngsters in the dust with her ability to hang onto the rope longer than anyone. Truth be told Jane is now a dark horse to win.
Tribal Council
Brenda does absolutely no campaigning on her behalf before tribal council. Her plan was to NOT scramble and let her confidence win people over. YEAH, you know everyone is gunning for you so instead of talking to them you think your confidence will win them over, in other words you have no B. The bully on the block wins when people are scared of them. It's when the others don't fear the bully anymore that the bully loses. The only suspense at tribal council was if Sash would be giving the hidden immunity idol to Brenda, which he didn't. One of the power brokers is gone and everybody has their eyes on the second one, Sash. On a side note, during tribal council Kelli made one comment, I am out of the loop of what's going on. Really? That explains why you voted for Benry this week.
Hidden Immunity Idol and Clues.
Just a little FYI here. I have said all along since the inception of the hidden immunity idol that the most effective way to use it is never tell anyone you have it, not even your mom or the lady who drives the lunch truck in Survivorville and never tell anyone else where to look. Gone is Jill who basically told Marty where to find the idol. Gone now is Marty who gave that idol to Sash who didn't give it to Brenda last night when she needed it. Oh yeah, gone is Alina who had a hold of the first clue but was so excited she couldn't hide it before one legged Kelli came up. Gone is Brenda who figured out the second clue for Naonka and instead of finding it for herself she directed Naonka where to dig. Why in the world would you look at a clue, figure it out and then tell someone else where to dig? So where do we sit, the two people who now hold the idols and didn't find them are still in this game. Happenstance nope, by chance nope, stupidity yes. Having an idol in your hand is the only rule that is for certain in this game, if you play it at tribal council, you can't go home that night.
Next Week
Naonka goes on a rampage. Here is my guess, she hid the hidden immunity idol and can't remember where she hid it, just sayin'.

Facebook and Family Reunions

For those of you who don't know the history of facebook. Four computer science students at Harvard developed the facebook idea for the purpose of social networking. Actually and truth be told they were looking for a new way to pick up women by having people post pictures of themselves and give updates about what they are doing. I might add, no word on whether these guys ever got laid from a meetup with a girl on facebook when they were in college, but maybe they have had sex now since they can pay for it, but back then, ahhh not so much. Fast forward a few years and we find that several countries have intermittently banned the use of facebook including North Korea, Vietnam, China and Pakistan some really forward thinking countries there. I am guessing these countries don't lead the world in having any Star Buck's or Kentucky Fried Chicken franchises either. My first thought would be, any country that bans facebook must be a good thing because you never hear anybody say about any of the aforementioned countries, "Someday when the wife and I retire, we thought about moving to (Insert country here) and live out our twilight years." On the other hand I think Facebook was actually invented by The Kodak Company for the sole purpose of giving people the opportunity to post pictures of themselves online that would normally never be seen by anyone other than close family or someone who got trapped in the family room at Thanksgiving with grandma. Think about this, grandma would have loved to take out all those old photo albums and posted pictures of Aunt Mabel winning a blue ribbon at the country fair in 1947 with her prize winning dill pickles. Basically with technology Facebook can take ordinary boring family pictures that mean absoulutely nothing to anybody else and in about fourteen and half seconds force feed them into millions of households around the world so that everyone else can say, "What the hell were they thinking posting that picture?"

Gonna wup yo' butt wit' a zip line.

Letter of the week from Gladys Ingersole of Tacoma, Washington.
Hey dickhead,
Why don't we get your rants early on Friday mornings as we used too? Secondly, why are Dan and Kelli two legs still in the game?
Dear Gladys,
Gladys is really your name? As God as my witness I have never met a Gladys in my entire life. Let me guess you play Bridge every Tuesday with Blanche, Madge and Edith. To answer your whines, first of all Survivor moved from Thursdays to Wednesdays without my approval which puts a crimp in my blog schedule. Secondly Dan and Kelli two legs are still in the game because state law requires two stupid people remain on a reality show for at least ten episodes. That's not to be confused with the law about not having two stupid blondes on a reality show at the same time but I am sure you and your twin blonde sister already know this.
Toodles
This week
"Take em' to the wood shed and whip his ass." Jane talking about Marty
Good thing Jane didn't go zip lining with the boys or when it was Marty's turn it would have been zip falling. Man they really don't like one another do they? They probably met years ago at a kegger on campus somewhere?
Libertad Day 23
Marty asks Sash if he thinks Chase voted for him? Out of the eleven people who voted last week, why would Chase's vote make a difference? Marty doesn't like Jane nor Chase and the only thing they have in common is North Carolina. You Tar Hell hater.
Reward Challenge
By happenstance the eleven people were randomly split up and it came up boys against the girls. The odd person out was Chase and after looking at the challenge, why would he choose the girls to win? I want cards and letters on this one, give me one good reason why after you have a chance to see what the challenge involves would someone chose the women over the men? All they had to do at the end of the challenge was run through a brick wall. Yeah, give me the 95 pound woman against the stronger men, Dah? The men blow them away and win a trip which included zip lining, beer and food. Throw in a lap dance and call it a day.
Back at camp.
Sash says he and Brenda have the power. Brenda is thinking about Sash while Sash is saying this. We then see Chase turning paranoid and making sure that no one is voting him out. Many things get you voted out of Survivor including paranoia and thinking people are out to get you.
Immunity Challenge
The memory game. Where is the challenge in trying to remember pictures in random order? The only thing you are doing is profiling the stupid people. It comes down to Brenda and Marty. Brenda wins when Marty finally fails on remembering between a wheel and a knife. It might have been something else but their is no real challenge in this game other than not getting beat by a dumbass.
Back at Camp
Fabio says he hates playing dumb in order to move on in this game. By a show of blonde strands of hair, how many people thought that was the pot calling the kettle black? Naonka says she is going to follow her intuition. HUH? Now by another vote of hands, which comment was dumber? Basically the plan was to tell everyone they were voting for Naonka but actually voting for Jane. Really, that was the plan in letting everyone to think they were voting for Naonka when really they were voting for Jane. I know this was the plan because I am pretty sure Fabio told the plan to Naonka too.
Brenda of course pipes in for the the 87th time that she was going along with the plan, BUT that her and Sash were still running the show. Isn't that like the husband saying he is in charge of the house...........whenever his wife isn't home. Marty goes home. He did make one valid point, how is it Naonka is getting free pass even after she stole things last week? Oh yeah Naonka said she was a humanitarian and makes human mistakes. WOW, I didn't realize that was what a humanitarian does.
Next week.
When the tribe returns to camp we see gasps and everyone saying "OH MY GOD" from everyone including GOD himself, only he says "Oh Myself."

Betty Crocker and Dirt Squirrels

"I took the flour so I could measure it so it would last longer when we were cooking." Naonka Crocker. "Alina is a dirt squirrel." Benry. I have read some of Betty Crocker's cookbooks and in no chapter does she mention grabbing a bag of flour and burying it in the ground while being stranded on an island. Maybe she was going to bread and cook the dirt squirrel Benry was talking about.
I kept wondering all week if Sash was going to keep his promise to Marty and give the idol back after not voting for him. I guess he kept half a promise so far. More on this later.
LaFlor
Marty thinks he is a dead man walking. Marty has new life yet again. It was funny how the producers showed buzzards picking at a carcass during his confessional, great editing. Sash then says people need to be loyal to him. Hey Sash, hasn't Marty been the most loyal? Fabio finds treemail and tells his group the merge is in order and everyone cheers, shoots off bottle rockets and have a circle pee.
Espada
We see a big box with a DO NOT OPEN on it, WOW the suspense. Maybe LaFlor had voted out Marty the night before and sent his body as a message not to screw the LaFlor tribe. Benry says Alina had burned some bridges and needs to go. Alina says the tribe of six has to keep strong and go after Marty. Naonka says Alina was talking but nobody was listening. The chest is opened when both tribes are together and food, food, food and Marty decides the new tribe should be named Libertab which means Liberty. What no justice for all? Naonka starts hoarding food when no one is around to watch her steal it, that is everyone but that frickin' camera guy who seesms to be everywhere. We find out that Brenda hates Jane and she also thinks Marty is stupid for giving away the idol. Um Brenda, counting tonight you have had three chances to vote Marty out. Who you callin' stupid? Jane then tells Chase that she runs 3 miles a day and does PX90 and has a weekly enema. Chase thinks Jane is a true country girl and he plans on planting some corn next spring in honor of his new found friend. Naonka makes Tortillas and everyone grabs food and she gets very little of the food she just cooked so she does what every logical person would which is to steal the flour and cooking pan and go bury it in the sand. Holly notices this. Naonka starts toying with Alina in hopes of getting her jury vote at the end. Looooong way from that Betty Crocker. Fabio discovers that a lot of the food, flour and a cooking pan are missing as well as his last issue of Playboy. That would piss me off too. Holly asks Naonka about seeing her taking the flour and Naonka first denies it then says "I was measuring out the flour so it would last longer." Evidently it's easier to measure flour while its buried in the ground. It then appeared that Marty was leading a drug type intervention on behalf of Naonka to find out why she stole the items. People who enable flour stealers only drag them down in the long run.
Day 22
Brenda said Naonka took stuff but so did Alina. This makes no sense, its' okay for one person to steal but not the other. Sash then approaches Naonka and tells her that he wants to take her to the final as she is his number one girl. Wait until the other prom dates find out what you said. Marty starts in on a rant about Jane referring to her momma and all that crap. I am getting the impression that people from the country are not Marty's cup of designer tea.
Immunity
People have to hold two pieces of iron together to support a steal rod. To no one's surprise Dan and two legged Kelli are both gone in about five seconds. Fabio and Jane both win immunity. Jane confesses that she wanted to beat Marty badly. Kelli two legs then makes her first comment since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, "I want to keep the girls together." Well who doesn't want to keep the girls together, I do too but for different reasons. Sash then makes another bold move by telling people he wants to keep his loyalty to Marty and not vote him out. I'm sorry but if I am playing this game, how does your loyalty to another player benefit me? Everyone left in the game should be asking that questions especially after what he said last week. Dan tells Marty that Chase is going after him.
Tribal Council
Holly says it is not enough just to play along, you have to take a chance. I agree. Marty then rambles on and on about Jane making an early mistake with her alliance and he is sick and tired of her country references and that if she makes it to the final and he doesn't, he will vote for her for a million dollars. The German judge gives him a 7.5 on content, a 9.5 on whininess and a 1.5 on his Side Show Bob haircut. Alina makes a great point, a little too late, that Marty is a huge threat and she is a swing vote pawn. Alina gets voted out like 200 - 1 and even her mom votes her off. Obviously she made no lasting alliances as people simply don't get that many votes unless they have really pissed some people off.
Next week
We see Brenda say that people need to know their place, what a bitch.