Jane you ignorant chicken eatin' survivor.

Just when you think you have this game figured out, you find out you really never do.
Day 32
We start by seeing Sash telling Fabio that he wanted to tell him that he was voting for Benry last week but couldn't. I am not sure if I am a fan of Sash or not but the boy knows when to keep his mouth shut. Fabio thinks people are underestimating him and I really don't think that at all.
Day 33 - Family Reunion Day - Everybody say cheese.
This is always one of my favorites episodes of Survivor. This is the episode where people let their guard down and not so much for themselves but for the family and friends of others who show up. You get a first hand look at how really screwed up other families are - OR NOT -. Okay who cried, let's have a show of hands when Holly told everyone that they had missed their 25th wedding anniversary. Chase's mom was a close second. You won't admit it but this is usually a tear jerker.
Family Challenge
Get bags of puzzle pieces out of a pool and give them to your other family member to put together. I swear to God that Dan almost drowned in the kiddie sized pool. Chase and his mom win and take Sash and Holly even after he promised to take Fabs. Here is my Grinch Hard Take on that one. If Fab wants to go on the reward trip then win the reward challenge dude, you ain't in junior high now.
Jane, Jane, Jane
I have liked Jane since the beginning and really hoped she would go far in this game. She had to have been listening when various people have told her that if she makes it to the final, she probably wins the whole thing. As the night wore on even she said she was the 4th person in a four person alliance.
Reward
The one item that stood out was Chase admitted that Naonka had given him the other idol. Holly, Sash and Chase are a big three and are in charge.....maybe. After the trip Fabs is mad at Chase for not taking him on reward. Dude, what would you have gained by going? Some food, a few drinks and a few hours with mom. Get in your car and go visit your mom and she'll feed you and buy you a six pack, get over it. This game isn't won over a reward challenge.
Immunity Challenge - Blindfolds at twenty paces.
If I ever make it on Survivor and there is a blindfold challenge, I am asking for a crotch cup. Do you know how many times the guys walk into a post that is crotch high?
Anyhow, Fabs wins immunity and finally stops crying.
Best Survivor meeting ever where no one said anything.
Jane walks up to Sash, Holly and Chase and asks them who they are voting for. Cue the crickets and Jane's middle finger rub of her nose. Classic with a capital FU. She had to see this coming.
Final Council
I think a great council. My point to make is this council is an example of why you need to really review your situation and come up with options. Jeff is now experienced at shaking the trees when gathering information and getting people to open up. (Did everyone like that reference? Just came to me about one minute ago.) Basically the council involved Jane calling out Holly, Sash and Chase. What she needed to do prior to tribal council was to put Fabio and Dan on notice that one of them was next, period. She should have pushed hard to get them to vote for at least a tie which most likely would have been building a fire and she would have won going away. Fabs and Dan were voting just to get past last night, not to win this game. They are down 3 - 2 now and at this point it might as well be 100 - 1. When you are at this point you have to play the odds which they didn't, especially Dan. Unless the other four drop dead, he ain't winning a challenge to move on. It was an opportune time to get rid of Jane, but Fabs and Dan didn't do themselves any favors by voting her out as one of those two goes home next.
Sunday finale
Nobody trusts anybody.

Paranoia runs rampant.........

If you have been following my blog through the years you know my feelings about locker rooms in health clubs. You also know that I think there should be a state law on how long a total stranger can stand in front of you with his junk hanging out. This law should allow about five seconds unless he is having trouble getting his combination lock to open, then I give him another 20 seconds. However this pales in comparison to the new super sized toilet paper roll holders that are now installed. Not sure at all if they have these in the women's bathroom, but they average is size between a wheel of cheese and a spare tire you carry in your trunk. The good news is they only have to change these rolls about as often as you change your clocks in the fall and spring. The bad news is they seal each roll by using about a bottle of paste the size that you bought your first grader years and years ago. Saturday it took me about five minutes of scratching and clawing at the paper to finally break the paste seal. Whomever is ahead of the sealing department is getting a letter.
Now back to your regularly scheduled rant.
Day 29 - Libertad
Holly can't believe that Naonka Donka and Two Legged Kelli both quit. As I said before if you quit you shouldn't be allowed on the reunion show, period. The group decided to name the remaining Chicken and called it Kelli-Na. After losing three of his alliance in the past two tribal councils, Sash still thinks the run is in his favor. How he came up with that, I ain't at all sure. Sash then tells the other six players that he is a free agent and will play his idol at the next tribal council. He then starts asking people how they are going to vote. What dumbass would give out his strategy then turn around and ask everyone for their strategy? I am not at all sure of his thinking right now. Chase wants to stay with the women while at the same time saying if Jane makes it to the final she wins. Are these guys twin blondes or what?
Reward
The mud pit, to the bale of hay to tossing beanbags that balance on a barrell. Dan can't sit out anymore but he might as well because, well because he is Dan. Chase wins this going away and then makes yet another questionable decision by taking Holly and Jane on reward. He tells Holly he should have brought Sash.
Sash says that Jane and Holly are the least strategic people. From my vantage I have to disagree. Holly was the reason that Brenda is no longer around dude, wake up. As far as Jane goes, you yourself said she would win if she made it to the final so she must be doing something right. While Holly, Chase and Jane are away the others kill the final chicken and eat it. Jane crys about it, builds a grave, holds a grave side service, sings O Holy Night and then tells us she would have whacked the chicken too and ate it private. Nice touch. Holly and Benry both say they don't trust Sash and then Fabio and Benry take turns on the paranoia train and keep asking people if anybody is talking about them.
Immunity
Rope lengths, gold coins and puzzles. Sash wins this one going away as he figures out the coin puzzle pretty easily. Sometimes brains come in handy. We see Sash say he is in control and can't wait for his million dollars. The kiss of death maybe?
The one thing that stands out is Sash hugging Jane and saying, "You are a mom figure, we are all loyal and sincere, we can't back stab each other." As I sat there watching I got a little puke in the back of my throat when I heard that.
Final Council
The best thing about this council was when Na and Kelli walked in he said, "And the two quitters." Benry gets voted out.
Next week.
The family shows up for a challenge. I hate to say it but this was a pretty boring week.

Eight foot giants and something to suck on.

Letter of the Week.
George Appleby
127 North Main Street
Cooter, AK
Dear Andy,
What did Kelli mean when she said she had "nothing left to suck" during the latest episode?
George
Dear George,
Really? A guy from Cooter, Arkansas writes to me and asks me this question? Yes folks there really is a Santa Claus and there really is a Cooter, Arkansas, OH MY Goodness. What Kelli was referring to was "it." She could no longer suck it. I think I should introduce you to one of my other fans, Ethel, who hails from Climax, GA. Oh I kill myself sometimes.
Day 27
It is quite apparent from the previews that someone wants to quit. To review what I think about people who want to quit, you suck. Holly wanted to quit day five and now she is a power to be reckoned with in this game. Holly still has something to suck. Oh yeah getting back to the game itself, team player Sash who said at an earlier tribal council that he would think about giving up his idol should someone close to him be in trouble. well he thought about giving the idol to Brenda for about one second and then didn't. Naonka says that Brenda threw her under the bus at tribal council. Yup she did and then to prove a point she backed the bus over Naonka and then got voted out herself.
Day 28
Awesome shots of the flooding. Naonka announces that her joints freeze up when its cold like this. Me too, I actually got bad leg cramp reaching too far for another beer during the show. Kelli two legs is going nuts during the storm as well. Fabio said you have to find a happy place which I see he did as he opened his K-ration of weed to enjoy. We then see Naonka give Chase her idol. By her actions and words she had no intention of staying, she treated this like it was her last day on the job.
I guess the good part is she had no plan or strategy with the exception of a few attempts at the slang. Maybe she should write a book called, "Hood Wisdom."
Reward Challenge
Very creative getting the eight foot dummy through the obstacle course. Blue team wins and then Holly steps forward and gives up reward so the losing team can have rice and a tarp. This girl is really making a power name for herself.
No Immunity Challenge
Two people want out so no immunity challenge. When people decide to quit I simply don't have the energy to recap a quitters version of tribal council.
So where do they stand?
Dan
I think the eight foot tall Gulliver dummy would get more votes than Dan.
Benry
I am not sure what he has done to deserve a vote over anyone, except Dan.
Fabio
You're not is a real good position when the tribes' most hated flour stealing, fake leg hated, hood queen won't even vote for you.
Sash
Before tribal council Sash says he doesn't trust Holly, Jane and Chase and hopes Kelli and Naonka stay. I think his game has gone in the crapper quicker than anybody in the history of crapdom or Survivor. He lost three people from his alliance in about ten seconds. He has to scramble big time now. However, history in Survivorville has shown that you need to kill the snake not just injure it. Brenda was the leader and the others need to pay attention and realize that Sash's alliance is now on the jury and not because of him. He can carry a lot of votes in the final.
Chase
He was just presented with a golden ticket-welcome back into the game note from his mom when Naonka gave him the idol. He needs to get rid of Sash quickly so he can use this on his resume at final council.
Jane and Holly
I would love to see a final two with these two. Jane brings her old wisdom, strength and back woods thinking. Holly turned this game around with getting Brenda out. I think Sash is the only one thinking to get these ladies out.
The best scenario would be a final three of Sash, Jane and Holly.
Next week.
The scrambling begins for everyone, except Dan of course, to see who should go home next.