Surf's Up

Letter of the Week

Dear Andy,
I wanted to drop you a quick line and tell you that you made a mistake in one of your recent posts when you used the word their, instead of they're. Secondly, I wanted to ask you what you would do with the money if you ever won the million?
Cindy Lewis - Providence, Rhode Island

Dear Cindy,
The first thing I would do with the money would be to go out and buy you a dictionary so you know how to spell the word "Road" correctly. Are you an english teacher by chance, if so that would be so ironical.
Ahndy Fhairbanks - Cholumbus, Hohio.

Upolu
Brandon feels bad for lying last week and Coach assures him he is still got his back. Always a good thing to stay close to a liar I always say.
Savaii
Papa Bear sees the writing on the wall as he says he isn't clicking with anybody so he will be voted out next. How about doing something about that rather then laying in the hammock and complaining to the camera? Because the camera doesn't have a vote and neither does the hammock. Ozzie then does what about 99% of the people do who find a hidden immunity idol, he tells someone about it. Dude, have you not learned anything on your two previous trips playing this game not to mention getting blindsided when holding an idol before? Do you even watch this show when you're not combing your hair or flexing your muscles? Ozzie tells Keith and it takes Keith about one minute to tell Whitney who tells three friends, who tell then tells three friends and soon it gets posted on Facebook and the only people on God's green earth who don't know Ozzie has an idol are the fourteen people in New Guinea whose internet and cable is down through next Wednesday. I'll take a breath now.
Brandon is the 2nd craziest person
Lest we forget, Semhar wins first prize for being a nut. I wish I had a DVR to go back and listen again to her pre-Redemption Island challenge chant. It went something like, "I will disrobe in front of him and have ten of his children without use of drugs...........................I am just going to stop there and say, Good Night, Good Luck and Good hunting for a good head doctor.
Upolu
Mikayla confronts Brandon about last week's attempt to take her out. He then parades her in front of the entire tribe to make her look bad. Mikayla breaks down and Brandon continues on his battle between good and evil. Brandon can't decide if he wants to follow God or Uncle Russell. What I found interesting was Brandon went on his rant and no one stopped him or stepped up to the plate. They are scared of him just like other people were scared of his uncle Russell last year.
Challenge "Surf's Up"
Great challenge. Run over a water bridge, get one of five buckets with a flag in it and get surfboarded back to shore, what fun. One part that I didn't understand, Upolo put Brandon, probably their heaviest player on the surf board and they had to haul him back to shore. Even though they won the challenge, wouldn't one of the smaller girls been a better choice? Coach did a great job with the grappling hook and Upolo won in a blowout.
Savaii
Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie. He says the vote is between Cochran and PaPa Bear. He goes to PaPa Bear and tells him they are voting for Cochran and vice versa. Dude, let someone else do the heavy lifting here. When you lie to people in front of your alliance it does two things. It takes away from your credibility down the road as sooner or later these same peopls you lied to help to protect will question your response when you say, we're voting for someone else. Secondly, let someone else share the work load. PaPa Bear finally takes a run at looking for the idol, and God love him, shoves a sock bundle down his shorts to make people believe he has an idol and some actually believe he has an idol. (Yes I said he shoved a sock bundle down his shorts, go ahead and laugh)Cochran realizes this and replies, now the vote will probably come to me.
Tribal Council
Three and five theory is discussed. Basically it is three people against five. Yeah, like I couldn't figure that one out. The hidden immunity was discussed and then Papa Bear is sent to Redemption Island.
Side Notes
Has anyone else noticed that no one from the Upolu Tribe is even looking for the idol at their camp? It seems the game has evolved to the point where, while it is cool to have found a hidden idol, it is almost taboo to be caught looking for it.
Next Week
Is Cochran really thinking of going after Ozzie? Apparently he has Jim on his side.

Poems, Prayers and Underwear

Wearing Underwear
I have said this on more than one occasion in my life, anyone who gets paid to do a job while wearing nothing but their underwear is my hero. But I digress.
Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.
Dude is trying so hard not to be like his uncle Russell that he is turning out to be .................a lot like his uncle Russell. He tells us he has done some things in the past that he regrets but hopes his faith in God will help him. Ya know I can relate, I have done some things in the past and thank God no one found out.
More on this later.
Redemption Island
Semhar recites a poem she wrote about not loving people who did her wrong. Now I'm not a poet but here goes my stab at poetry, it's titled: Semhar Lost
Semhar Lost,
Do not pass Go
Do not collect $ 200.00
Semhar Lost.
Upolo
Coach has an alliance of five and thinks Christine isn't trustworthy, afterall she had the gall to go out and look for one of the idols. That bitch. The person that is a mystery to me is Edna. She walks around like she just got done shopping at Wal Mart and is just waiting for the next bus. I don't get her.
Savaii - Cocharan
Cocharan thanks everyone for not voting him out the night before and vows to get better. My question is, does this guy really go to Harvard the Ivy League school or does he really go to Harvard Community College in Pocatello, Idaho? Just wondering?
Ozzie and the Idol
Where does he find the idol, in a frickin' tree of course. The guy/lady who hides these idols should be fired immediately. I think the only time in the history of Survivor that a hidden immunity wasn't hidden in a tree was when it was hidden on a foot bridge which of made of what? Wood from a tree. I was trying to read the clue that Christine found in the hole in the tree and my guess was the clue read "You'll find the idol in a hole in a tree." Brilliant.
Jim
For those of you who don't know, Jim is a professional poker player. He is God's gift to mankind, just ask him. He has his 3 & 2 theory, he, Keith and Ozzie and two other people. Ya know, he is exactly right because, and I used a calculator to confirm this but he, Keith and Ozzie do make 3 and 2 other people make, well as funny as it sound that makes 2. Oh yeah, after the fact that Ozzie made the alliance with Keith and Jim, well Jim takes credit for it, the architect as he says. Go smoke some more weed. Oh yeah, he also said he was at the cool kids table. Nope, Cocharan sits there.
Brandon Part II
Dude says he is happily married and doesn't like Mikayla. Thing is he keeps staring at her. If you don't like her, quit staring at her butt all day and most importantly quit telling your wife on national television that you area staring at her butt.
Christine
She gets excited about finding an idol clue. That's like getting excited when you find the bottle opener, but you have no beer.
Challenge
Maypole, keys and crates. Upolo had this won and lost, and that's about all you can say.
Pre Tribal Council
What a cluster *&^%. A whole lot of confusion for what should be a simple vote, Christine. Coach was actually the voice of reason to Brandon. Brandon does lie to Christine and Stacey about the tribe wanting to get rid of Mikayla. Dude your pants are smoking.
Tribal Council and Coach
Three things stand out here. First, Coach brings out dirty laundry against Christine saying they want Mikayla gone. Which is a result of Brandon's lie to him. Albert steps up and says Coach not telling Christine and Stacey about who told him about the Mikayla vote is a sign of loyalty. Then Brandon brings everyone down by saying he told Coach a lie. Not ten minutes earlier Coach said he got burnt by trusting people too much in his last ventures into Survivor and it happens yet again. Coach also confuses me because he wants to play with honor but has no problem giving up information on people not in his alliance. Is that honor?
Albert
Anyone who is playing this game needs to pay attention to him. This guy could take this game over very easily. I have spoken.

Hitler's Nephew, Coconutball and Cocharan

Okay, before we start rolling here. Tell me that you had a Cocharan in your class in high school? Yes you did, he was the guy with the pocket protector, carried 17 books around with him at all times and pulled his belt way too tight to keep his pants up. He got A's in the smart classes, knew how to fix the PA system and when it came to being athletic.......well let's just say he got A's in the smart classes. Guys loved to make fun of him after copying off his homework, girls would pinch him on the cheek but never date him and well, he got A's in the smart classes. More on him later.
First impressions.
Um, did anyone else get the impression that people love Ozzie and not so much love for Coach? Everyone clapped when Ozzie went on his team and by the time Coach reached his team all but one of them had left for camp. (Sound of crickets) That was a rude entry. He looked like the dog who crapped on the carpet and got banished to the garage for a week. Hey, quick question. One lady was wearing a suit jacket outfit. Who the hell packs a suit jacket outfit for Survivor?
Bold Statements
Kristine the school teacher made a comment about Ozzie and Coach, "Good to see them, they are temporary players." Ouch John wants to be known as Cocharan ala Ozzie, Coach and Rob. Yup dorko, we can do that.
First Challenge
Climb a pole, retrieve a turtle and do a puzzle. Okay folks, in all the previews we see Ozzie climbing trees, Ozzie climbing ropes, Ozzie climbing the Empire State Building so the producers make Coach go against Ozzie doing what? Climbing. No favorites there. The puzzle on the other hand stumped Ozzie. I sort of got how it worked about half way through. Ozzie did the good thing and asked for help and won. After the challenge Coach was basically shunned by his tribe.
Savaii Tribe
It will take me a few weeks to remember tribe names right off but everyone has a Ozzzie-love-fest back at camp. He pipes up, "Best tribe ever." They decide to have a group bath and put off making shelter per Ozzie's "I don't think we need to worry about the weather today." That's the same thing that Noah's neighbor said a few years back as he leaned down to pick up his Sunday paper from his driveway and waved as he watched Noah close the door to the Arc. Jim was telling people whatever he was telling them and laughing at the camera, "I'm not going to tell people what I actually do." And this will be to your advantage because? People are going to vote you out because you legally sell marijuana? Dude, you'll be the most popular player EVER. After the bath Ozzie says we need to start a fire. Yeah, no shelter but a fire should keep you warm during the rain. He says he wants to keep a strong tribe. DAH
Upolu Tribe
Coach tells everybody he isn't a threat. Um, everyone who has a vote is a threat. Christine says she is going to gather wood and then starts looking for the idol.
Which brings us to Brandon. First of all he tells he is Russel's nephew and then takes the next hour to continue to tell us that he doesn't want to be like Russel. He used to be like Russel but no more. Then we see he is infatuated with Mikayla. Weird? Yeah, this boy is out there.
Coconut ball
Zig zag through coconuts, climb a wall, cut the rope and shoot coconuts. Two things about this challenge stood out. Did anyone see that frickin' Albert pull Hitler's nephew over the wall? I am guessing Brandon weighs close to 200 and Albert pulls him up and over the wall. Dude is strong. Then Samher begged to shoot the coconuts and wanted to quit after a few throws. Upolo wins.
Tribal Council
Cocharan and Samher have one of the most polite arguements ever at tribal council. It was a pillow fight with apologies. I'm sorry I will wait until you are done calling me a twit. Oh sorry, I didn't know you weren't finished calling me lazy, I aplogize. I wonder if this is how two Amish guys fight over the last chicken leg at dinner? Anyhow, Samher goes to Exile Island and cries about people lying to her.
Next Week
Cocharan learns how to run around the may pole and how to give a wedgie to a monkey.