Tarps, Balance Beams and a Lonely Gay Guy with an idol

So just before the show started last night I wrote down two questions.
-) Can the women unite and at least be competitive?
-) Will the men's Cocky GQ Alliance win out?
Trayzon comments that all he wants "Is to be the best Survivor player ever." You know the sole reason they put this guy on the show? Because he is one of the photographers for the Sport Illustrated swim suit edition. That's why he is on this show period.
Salani Day 3
Michael greets the women as they return from Tribal Council and lets them know he kept their fire going "Cause like you guys were gone for hours and hours." A couple things here. First, anybody who has seen any Survivor at all knows when a team goes to Tribal Council for the first time they are given a flint to do what? To start a fire with there Einstien. Secondly, if you do something nice for someone you don't have to announce it to the world. That's like watching your neighbors dog while they are on vacation and when they return you knock on their door and say, "Hey welcome back, just wanted to let know your dog didn't die while you were gone because of me."
Alicia makes a comment that she loved the fact that Christina yelled at her during Tribal Council because that was all in her plan to make Christina look foolish. I love the ego this girl has. Alicia calls Nina, "A big bag of rocks and I don't even know what that means." What a knee slapper, and I don't even know what a knee slapper means, that's how funny that is. Christine apologizes to Alicia for her actions. No way girl, don't apologize for calling someone a bitch when they were a bitch.
Salani Day 4
Sabrina is somewhat elected as tribe leader and I think it was more she mentioned they needed leadership and everyone sort of shook their heads and agreed that they needed a leader and she showed the best leadership by asking for someone to be a leader so they said she should be the leader. I think that's how it happened. That is akin to a small town thinking people are driving too fast in their town and because they can't agree on what the speed limit should be, they simply put up a sign that says Slow Down. And you know who had to put the sign up? Of course you do, It was the guy who brought up the idea that people should slow down when they drive through their town. Makes perfect sense.
Challenge
Un-tie ropes until they free a ring of steel. The guys win and get to keep the rope as well as a tarp. Sabrina says, "We needed that tarp much like a fat kid needs cake." Another knee slapper.
Manano Day 4
Mike says this is the best camp in the history of Survivor. NOPE, I disagree. The best camp was the year they had a contest to build an outhouse and two guys fell asleep in the outhouse getting drunk. NOW that was the best camp EVER. We then see Colton swinging on his swing and does nothing to help the guys at camp and they notice. He wanders over to the women's camp and talks with them and tells them he has no friends in the men's camp and then the women ask him to leave their camp because he isn't on their tribe. Dude has no alliances.
Manano Day 4
Tarzan does a dance in his underwear. Then Colton springs the great equalizer of a plan when he shows Trayzon, Jonas, Tarzan and Lief his idol. They come up with a plan to get rid of one of the big boys, Matt or Mike when the opportunity comes forward. Funny how a hidden immunity idol wipes the memory of people who only hours before wanted Colton gone, now according to Jonas, "Colton is very smart." Maybe if I find an idol my friends will think I'm smart too. If the GQ guys weren't so cocky, they might actually suspect something. As it happens in life and it happens in Survivor over and over again, the cocky players often times simply think everyone is on board with their plan and they will pick people off one by one and go to the final. Oh yes, and when they get voted off they always comment, "Those idiots don't know how to play this game." Well chump, those idiots just voted you off, so what does that make you? Let's see if this happens, again.
Challenge
Balance Beam Tango. Loved it, loved it. You take a balance beam and have every team member stand in a row and take the last person in line and make them transverse the 4inch beam from their end to the other without knocking their team off the beam or touching more than one person at a time. Poor Kat, this girl was out of her element. Sometimes you suck and sometimes you really suck like she did when she went into the water over and over again. This wasn't even close as the guys put their entire team of eight guys through the challenge while the girls only had one person finish.
Salini
Nina knows she is now on the chopping block not because of her skills but simply the older women are outnumbered by the younger women 5-3. She tries to work Chelsea and Kim who agree kat hasn't shown much, but they don't want to break their loyalty to the others.
Tribal Council
The girls take turns throwing each other under the bus and while it appears everyone agrees that Kat lost the challenge, they vote out Nina. The girls tribe totally confuses me right now. They want to win but they can't and they don't want to upset anybody either. Keeping Kat was the wrong choice. They all agreed she was the reason they lost again but they keep her over a stronger player. At this point in the game the younger women's alliance still holds a number advantage over the older group plus they have Colton, they should have gotten rid of Kat.
Next Week
More of the same.

Pay Attention Please

I have always said Survivor is a game of paying attention to your surroundings. Two jeeps come rolling into camp carrying men in one jeep and women in another. Refreshing, men vs women? Never been done before. The players jump out and Jeff asks a few questions which brings about some catcalls, chest bumping and assorted smiles. Courtney is dressed like a Dutch girl, Colton is gay and we have a Tarzan and Trayzon. The teams are instructed to strip everything off their jeeps that can be carried, they have 60 seconds. First question of the new season. How is it that while all the players are within about ten feet of another, the girls had no clue that Mike came over into their area and stole a pile of their supplies including an ax? Right under their noses. Had that been a Christmas Sale at Wal Mart the women would have killed him, hung him in the flat screen area and put a sign on him, MEN steer clear of the sale area or this will happen to you. Signed, The Women.
Camps
The tribes are sent on their way to their camps and find out they are sharing one camp. Soon we see Matt posing by a tree (His profile says, "I am smart, I am athletic and I am handsome." You forgot douche bag) anyhow Matt gloats about wanting to win .................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz The guys get a fire started and the girls would like some help getting a fire going so Christina goes over to negotiate for some help. Mike (His profile says, "Some people might think I am a dick." Who puts that on a resume? Banker ten years of experience, Graduated Harvard, I love to workout, donate to charity and people think I'm a dick) Mike doesn't want anything to do with a negotiation.
Alicia (pronounced A-LEE-SEA-AH) doesn't like it when Christina talks to the guys. Now I know what you women are going to say, why didn't Andy say something about her too tight top and her huge boobs? Because I didn't even notice them, that's why.
More on this later. Chelsea catches two chickens by hand. That's two more chickens than anybody has ever caught by hand on Survivor, ever. Colton attempts to bond with the women and makes a dent. "If any of you find an idol, I could really use it." Don't be so needy. Okay, my favorite player so far is Leif who is a Phlebotomist. For those of you who had to look it up he is someone who draws blood from people. He is a little person but what drew my attention to him, he has both nipples pierced.
That night the girls sneak over to the guys camp and steal some fire, however, they can't keep their fire lit.
Challenge
Jump into a cargo net, cross a balance beam and release your flag. Here's the thing, if I have never jumped into a cargo net from a height of 25 feet and the guy running the show tells me to jump out, land on your back and cross your hands over your chest, guess how I am jumping? Either some people were deaf or simply didn't listen. It appeared there wasn't much give when people landed on the net and we all saw Courtney's wrist give in three places when she landed wrong. Pay attention. Here's the thing part 7, the game is stopped when it becomes apparent Courtney was hurt. After medics take her away for x-rays Jeff gives the guys the option of taking the win or picking it up IF Courtney can return. The girls are little pissed when the guys simply take the win but the rules clearly state, all nine people have to finish. Get over it and move on. Sabrina finds an idol but the scroll of paper tells her she must give it away to someone in the other tribe. That is basically how the game has started for the women so far.
Tribal Council
A-LEE-SEA-AH and Christina get into a cat fight and then three or four of the women all start talking at once and I had absolutely no clue what any of them said. Jeff then tells them he has good news and bad news. Bad news is Courtney broke her wrist in three places but the good news is no one else has to go home. That's like saying I have good news and bad news. Your dad just got run over by a snow plow and is in the hospital recovering. The good news you have a snow day from school today, hurray.
Monica says it best, "We are basically doing whatever, no leadership." Really?
Next Week
Apparently the women still aren't organized, Leif gets another piercing and I finally notice A-LEE-SEA-AHs big boobs.