Pay Attention Please

I have always said Survivor is a game of paying attention to your surroundings. Two jeeps come rolling into camp carrying men in one jeep and women in another. Refreshing, men vs women? Never been done before. The players jump out and Jeff asks a few questions which brings about some catcalls, chest bumping and assorted smiles. Courtney is dressed like a Dutch girl, Colton is gay and we have a Tarzan and Trayzon. The teams are instructed to strip everything off their jeeps that can be carried, they have 60 seconds. First question of the new season. How is it that while all the players are within about ten feet of another, the girls had no clue that Mike came over into their area and stole a pile of their supplies including an ax? Right under their noses. Had that been a Christmas Sale at Wal Mart the women would have killed him, hung him in the flat screen area and put a sign on him, MEN steer clear of the sale area or this will happen to you. Signed, The Women.
Camps
The tribes are sent on their way to their camps and find out they are sharing one camp. Soon we see Matt posing by a tree (His profile says, "I am smart, I am athletic and I am handsome." You forgot douche bag) anyhow Matt gloats about wanting to win .................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz The guys get a fire started and the girls would like some help getting a fire going so Christina goes over to negotiate for some help. Mike (His profile says, "Some people might think I am a dick." Who puts that on a resume? Banker ten years of experience, Graduated Harvard, I love to workout, donate to charity and people think I'm a dick) Mike doesn't want anything to do with a negotiation.
Alicia (pronounced A-LEE-SEA-AH) doesn't like it when Christina talks to the guys. Now I know what you women are going to say, why didn't Andy say something about her too tight top and her huge boobs? Because I didn't even notice them, that's why.
More on this later. Chelsea catches two chickens by hand. That's two more chickens than anybody has ever caught by hand on Survivor, ever. Colton attempts to bond with the women and makes a dent. "If any of you find an idol, I could really use it." Don't be so needy. Okay, my favorite player so far is Leif who is a Phlebotomist. For those of you who had to look it up he is someone who draws blood from people. He is a little person but what drew my attention to him, he has both nipples pierced.
That night the girls sneak over to the guys camp and steal some fire, however, they can't keep their fire lit.
Challenge
Jump into a cargo net, cross a balance beam and release your flag. Here's the thing, if I have never jumped into a cargo net from a height of 25 feet and the guy running the show tells me to jump out, land on your back and cross your hands over your chest, guess how I am jumping? Either some people were deaf or simply didn't listen. It appeared there wasn't much give when people landed on the net and we all saw Courtney's wrist give in three places when she landed wrong. Pay attention. Here's the thing part 7, the game is stopped when it becomes apparent Courtney was hurt. After medics take her away for x-rays Jeff gives the guys the option of taking the win or picking it up IF Courtney can return. The girls are little pissed when the guys simply take the win but the rules clearly state, all nine people have to finish. Get over it and move on. Sabrina finds an idol but the scroll of paper tells her she must give it away to someone in the other tribe. That is basically how the game has started for the women so far.
Tribal Council
A-LEE-SEA-AH and Christina get into a cat fight and then three or four of the women all start talking at once and I had absolutely no clue what any of them said. Jeff then tells them he has good news and bad news. Bad news is Courtney broke her wrist in three places but the good news is no one else has to go home. That's like saying I have good news and bad news. Your dad just got run over by a snow plow and is in the hospital recovering. The good news you have a snow day from school today, hurray.
Monica says it best, "We are basically doing whatever, no leadership." Really?
Next Week
Apparently the women still aren't organized, Leif gets another piercing and I finally notice A-LEE-SEA-AHs big boobs.