Why I still hate soccer.........

"Soccer still sucks no matter who is playing or where you play it," -Andy Fairbanks 2012- Kalabaw Night 13 Katie knows she is the odd man out, or in this case the odd beauty pagent contestant out. She sucks at challenges, she complains and well... she simply doesn't know how to play the game of Survivor very well which is usually important especially when you are playing the game of Survivor. I think for my next video I am going to tell them I won the Miss 4H Pagent of 1978 in Fremont, Ohio. Who the hell checks on these things anyhow? I could send in a picture of me tipping over a cow or something, yeah that's it. Tandang We find out that returning player Mike Skupin is very good at something, that being eating all the tribes rice. Pete calls Mike useless....wait a minute you just said he is good at eating all the rice,,,,dude make up your mind. Artis also complains about MIke. You see the thing I am finding about Artis is the only thing he does is complain, other than that he keeps to himself. Reward Challenge Okay by a show of hands, other than The World Cup or The Olympics or when you watched one of your kids play in one of those elementary soccer games on a cold rainy Saturday morning where they don't keep score and parents bring the post game snacks and everybody gets a frickin' participation ribbon for putting their shoes on the correct foot (parents included),,,,taking a breath,,,,,,,,, when was the last time you actually sat down and watched an entire game of soccer? I will tell you when....NEVER. Okay wait a minute, I just remembered that two of my readers have nephews that play soccer so I'm sorry up front but I'm not sorry when I say, soccer is boring. Last night the challenge was to move a six foot high soccer type ball across the playing the field and score goals. The action lasted for about three minutes (which is about average for a regulation soccer game) and "As God as my witness," for the next hour the ball didn't move as the three players from each team were more intereted in mud wrestling than actually trying to score. Let me repeat that, the ball didn't move for over an hour. This was more boring than, dare I say it, "More boring than actually watching a soccer game," and I didn't even get a partcipation ribbon, bastards. Actress Lisa actually had Denise pinned in the mud, way to go girl. Anyhow a deal was struck that Kalabaw would win the reward of a picnic lunch and in return give all their rice to Tandang. Thank God that's over. Kalabaw It was actually more interesting to watch them eat their lunch of sandwiches and brownies than to watch the soccer game. Jonathon promised the group he would get some fish when they returned to camp to make up for not having any rice. Oh yes, they got letters from home but never read one line to us on how Aunt Martha's goiter was doing or if Grandma's broken hip had healed or if Uncle Henry had been released from prison as of yet. Tandang Artis is pissed that Skupin negotiated for the rice and didn't want to win the challenge. Lisa and Abi agree that they basically forfeited the challenge. Remind me here, wasn't this the same group that was complaining about Skupin eating all the rice and now he negotiated for more rice and they are still complaining? And Artis and Abi, weren't your asses sitting on the bench during the challenge? Why did you sit out? You didn't win the challenge but you got more rice and you didn;'t have to do a damn thing other than watch a soccer game. Hell I would have complained beacause I had to watch a soccer game. I will have to go back and watch the show on video but I think the censors missed bleeping out Abi when she said, "F*&^%$# stupid." Oh yes my favorite moment of the night was RC wearing a dress coat over her bikini, looked like a hooker on the Vegas strip. Kalabaw Jonathon comes through and goes fishing and brings back three fish. Three fish that would fit into the average household fish bowl that is. Let's all stand and give him a round of polite golf applause. "Pure Protein," he says. Enough pure protein for the average household goldfish that is. Immunity Challenge Slingshots and Lacrosse sticks. The teams shot slingshots with lacrosse balls into the air while team-mates tried to catch them with lacross sticks. Tandang wins 5 - 4 and of course Jeff Probst points out that "Katie is completely ineffective in this challenge." Way to go Jeff, throw her under the bus. Kalabaw Jeff Kent and Carter talk about voting out either Katie or Jonathon. The dilema is, Katie sucks at challenges but is loyal and an easy vote out later. Jonathon has the idol and might do a blindside on them later in the game. Kalabaw will be down 7 - 4 after this vote out so this is a tough decision. Carter and Jeff Kent both say they would hate it if, "Later in the game Jonathon blindsides us." Tough choice, keep the stronger player who has an idol and has played this game before and flipped sides or a weaker player who more than likely won't flip on you. By the way, the newest member Denise is fitting in just fine once again. She is doing all the right things and at this point in the game no one has been talking about voting for her at any time. As Jeff and Carter are sitting there, Jon Penner walks up and asks, "Well guys, who are we voting tonight." Carter speaks up and says, "Katie or Penner,,,,,,I mean Katie or Denise." Yikes, he is a blonde isn't he? Tribal Council Jeff Kent points out that Carter was simply outmuscled in the game. I want to point out that Carter is a track coach and got outmuscled. Isn't he supposed to be an athlete? Jonathon points out that because the tribe is so close, the vote will be a blindside to whomever gets voted out. Katie is the second former beauty queen to get voted out this season. Next week it looks like the merge is coming and Thank God it didn't appear that there were any soccer challenges.

Things can change at the drop of a buff.....

In one of my recents blogs I noted that just when you think you have this game figured out............. Matsing Day 10 Wow, each of the three tribes started with six players and since Matsing has lost the first four challenges they are down to Denise and Malcolm. The good thing about these two is they are positive people. These two are smiling and joking and basically come to the realization that their days are probably numbered. They spend the morning looking for the idol and after picking up the lid to the rice several times, Malcolm finally pulls the handle off the lid to find the idol. Even Denise cheers knowing full well it is Malcolm who has benefitted from this small triumph. They are both hoping that they will be added to the other tribes in lieu of having a two person challenge. Reward Challenge All three tribes arrive for a reward reward challenge, but first.................I remember back in the old Survivor days they had a reward challenge as well as an immunity. My favorite was when one tribe won toilet paper an outhouse. Two of the guys on the team actually slept in the wooden outhouse one night during a rain storm. It would have to have been raining pretty hard for me to spend a night in an outhouse. But I digress. Both tribes are given a servind tray which has an idol sitting on top, It is a simple game where by you simply attempt to knock the other person idol off of their tray. The first person's idol to hit the ground loses. Oh yes, beforehand we find out that Malcolm and Denise are to drop their buffs and pull a new one from a bag. Denise lands on Kalabaw and Malcolm goes to Tandang. After many quick and boring matches it is Malcolm who defeats Jeff. Actually he won by tossing his own high in the air and pushing Jeff's off of his tray which immediately hit the ground. Pretty smart. Tandang wins the Holiday Inn continental breakfast reward of coffee, tea and biscuits. "Did you find the hidden immunity idol? No but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night." Back at Tandang You talk about a guy whose fate changed in the game very quickly, it would be Malcolm. Earlier in the day he was on a tribe that had two people left, it was raining, they had very little hope. Fast forward about ten minutes and he finds an idol, people welcome him to camp and then Peter tells Malcolm he wants to be his buddy and ....oh by way....Peter tells him he has an idol. As God as my witness I can't remember one player in the history of game of Survivor who had one foot on the plank and the other extended extended out over the ocean as he was about to get pushed into shark infested waters and then.......well then the captain of the ship says, "Dude, we were just kidding, get back on this ship you big duffus, give me a hug." Back at Kalabaw Denise shows up to camp and is welcomed with open arms also. The three girls in camp realize they now have a four to three advantage over the guys.................until. Katie points out that the women in camp now have a four to three advantage over the guys. Meantime, veteran player Jonathon approaches Denise and tells her that two of the girls Dawson and Katie are weak players and he invites her to join the guys alliance and she quickly says yes. So now Denise who was soon to follow Malcolm in walking the plank, has new life as well and a new alliance also. Then.............well then Dana who is linked with Katie and Dawson gets very sick and is soon on a boat going home, gave up, quit, whatever you call it. The doctors told her she was in no medical danger but I think she had just had enough of the rain. The challenge Run through an obstacle course, untie ropes to drop a drawbridge. gather puzzle pieces and put together the puzzle. Something to remember here, Abi from is asked to sit out yet another challenge for Tandang because they are one person up. The producers make a point to show this and by the look on Abi's face she is either volunteering to sit out againg or she isn't very happy about it. Tandang wins the challenge by a few seconds and it quite honestly came down to Katie not being able to transverse the first part of the obstacle course and held up the tribe as they only lost by a few seconds. Oh yes, Dawson wouldn't let Jonathon help her with the puzzle which didn't help either. Pre Council It is very evident that either Dawson or Katie is going home. One thing happens or better yet doesn't happen. Dawson knows that one of her tribemates is Jeff Kent who is a former major league baseball player and no one else knows this. When your head is on the chopping block, use anything, something, throw a rock, run with scissors, put your finger in an electric outlet, do something to save yourself. It doesn't mean people would have changed their mind but had she let everyone know that he was a former player, they might have changed their thinking about him because he has already made millions. Jeff is a smart player and is playing very well Dawson keeps her mouth shut and doesn't say a word and is sent home. Quick Review As it often times goes, it is the little things in this game that people take notice of and can change a game. Two players were walking the plank...... and then,...... they are told to drop their buffs, someone gets sick, someone does bad at a challenge and bingo bango, two people who were on a team that hadn't lost a challenge are now out of the game and suddenly two players who were on the ropes are now linked with the cool kids. You can never take for granted your place in this game because tomorrow something could happen that changes everything. Next Week. It appears to be a rough challenge and Artis gets pissed.

Repeating History

Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it -Socrates This week we are going to add a section called, “Would I have done it that way?” Matsing Day 9 To take a quote from Star Wars, “The total destruction of the rebel alliance will soon be complete.” The total destruction of the Matsing tribe is almost complete and they don’t have Luke Skywalker nor Obi Won Kanobi on their side. Three challenges, three defeats and now down to three members left in their tribe vs. six in each of the other two. Once again the talk around camp centers around who to vote out. “Would I have have talked about who to vote out?” Not before I knew what the challenge was, what’s the point. All you are doing is promoting negative thoughts before a challenge. Meanwhile over at Tandang… This tribe appears to be very strong as they have a tarp, they have this, they have that, but cue the theatre music, they are about to lose their head. Abi openly tells RC she doesn’t want to talk to her anymore, evidently she re-evaluated her “Three minutes after we met, I look good in a bikini you look good in a bikini let’s be best buds for life alliance,” has worn off. That will happen when your best bud (RC) tells you that she has found a clue to the hidden immunity idol –AND- reads you the clue aloud. Then best bud B (Abi) goes out and finds the idol right under RC’s nose. Peter jumps on the boat and wants to cause chaos and reassures Abi that he doesn’t trust RC either. “Would I have taken the clue knowledge supplied to me and found the idol?” I would have done half of what Abi did. She found the idol (Which I would have done or at least looked for it) but she also previously told Peter she was given the clue and then she tells him she found the idol. WTF? She now risks that her first friend RC sticks around past the merge so she will find out that Abi has the idol and Peter now has the ability to blindside Abi. Two bad things could be bring the end to Abi. Take control of what you can control in the game and quit giving up decided advantages. She is already buds with Peter, what did she gain from spilling the beans? Kalabaw Jonathon who has found the hidden immunity at their camp now wants to buddy up with both Jeff and Carter. While the three guys are out collecting food in the water they talk. Earlier in the game we heard Jeff say that he wanted Jonathon gone, he did this if front of the entire tribe. By telling the tribe he wants Jonathon gone and now thinking about keeping him might put him on the chopping block later because of a trust issue. Now he sounds like his running for president as he says, “I need to re-evaluate my thoughts and might want to partner up with Jonathon.” “Would I have told the others I had found the idol if I was Jonathon?” In this case maybe, he knows he is a returning player and people might want him gone because of that. I need to write a Cardinal Rule subsection for returning players. The way he approached Jeff was beneficial and he also spoke loud enough for Carter to hear who was standing close by. Experience is kicking in with Jonathon as he wanted Carter to hear the conversation. The three guys are gone from camp for about two hours and the three girls in the tribe are very aware that the guys are probably forming an alliance because they have been gone so long. Ya think? I am guessing the guys are thinking the same about the girls at this point. Quick Review The two tribes who have won all the challenges and haven’t had to vote anyone out are dividing at the seams. Yes folks this game is as much psychological as physical. That and the fact you never know when Jeff Probst might show up and say, drop your buffs, we are realigning the teams. You have to expect anything is this game. The Immunity Challenge The teams will take turns carrying two heavy clay pots via a long log which you carry over your shoulders. They must transverse through an obstacle course and then set the pots on top of posts of varying heights. If a survivor drops or breaks a pot along the route they simply have to return and start over. The goal is to set six rice filled pots and then use a ball on a rope to swing and break the pots. Something not to be overlooked here is the tribes who haven’t lost a challenge must sit out three players and each team decides to have all the girls sit out. This does not go un-noticed by the girls on both tribes. Unfortunately Matsing has the lead early for the first time in any challenge, but loses yet again. Russell goes off on a rant once again. Pre-Tribal Council Malcolm, Denise and Russell takes turns talking to one another knowing full well one of them is going home. As I watch this go on at camp the only thing I know for sure is, I don’t know who is going home. I would have thought at this point Russell, who has a clue to the hidden idol in their camp, would have spent his entire time looking for the idol which he doesn’t. ”Would I have looked for the idol at this point?” Ah, hell yes. I wouldn’t care if the other two knew it, I have a one in three chance of going home and if I find the idol I am staying so I would have taken advantage of my last opportunity to stay. Tribal Council Again, I had not clue as to who was going home, but Russell is voted out. It basically came down to either Denise or Russel with no one talking about voting out Malcolm. Let's rewind to last week, the same Malcolm who was chastised for snuggling with Angie who was voted out last week. Short memories and this shows how fast your head can go on and off of the chopping block. Knowledge is King Getting back to the title of this blog. People continue to make the same mistakes as players from the past. The Hidden Immunity Idol is just that, hidden, people don’t know you have it, that is the biggest individual advantage you can have in this game. While Denise and Malcolm did look through Russell’s “stuff” to see if he had the idol from their camp before they voted, that’s called games-man-ship. At least Jonathon had a plan when he told Jeff he had the idol over at Kalabaw. Meanwhile at Tandang, Abi seems just to be happy that her former best bud RC doesn’t have the idol. I am guessing Jonathon uses the idol to his advantage while Abi, well Abi gets blindsided because of her over confidence in herself, she won’t think anyone is voting for her. Three things hold true in Survivor. One, If you play the idol at tribal council you can’t get voted out that night. Two, find a way to use the hidden immunity idol to your advantage. Three and probably most importantly, build trust within your group, not just a couple of people. For some reason RC doesn’t have the trust of her tribe mates and will probably be the first of her tribe to go because of it. She was readily available to tell everyone she doesn't trust Lisa early on, but has no clue how to defend that when her name comes up as untrustworthy. For someone who says she is a super fan and knows how to play, she doesn’t look the part. As with past players who were cocky in the beginning, she doesn't have a plan B.

Cuddling vs. Can't Do

There are some things you should always do on Survivor like pitch in and help, make friends and generally be yourself. There are things you should never, ever do like tell your tribe, “I can’t do that challenge.” Nor do you have someone tell you about a hidden immunity idol clue and then go behind their back and find it yourself. Breaking a trust is huge in this game. Quick review We see that Jonathon Penner has found an idol which was actually the handle to the rice box, very clever by the way. Lisa is still crying. RC tells her best bud Abi about the clue she found on where to find the idol. To quote Homer Simpson, “DOH.” Let’s all recite the Hidden Immunity Idol crede, “Never tell anyone you have the idol –OR- more importantly never tell anyone what the clue says, unless of course you have already found the idol.” Matsing Day 6 This tribe has already lost two challenges and instead of talking about how to improve they are talking about who to vote out next. Why don’t your try to win a challenge instead of talking about losing. Someone forgot to tie the raft down so they have lost their raft when the tide came in. To quote Homer Simpson a second time, “DOH II.” Tandang This is going to sound like a soap opera but……RC tells Abi that she has found a clue to the idol and even tells her what the clue says. Abi immediately runs to Peter and tells him she doesn’t trust RC but at the same time breaks that trust by telling Peter that RC has told her the words in the clue to find the idol. Abi then goes out and find the idol. Of course her comment was, “I found the idol, I knew where it was the whole time.” No you didn’t because the idol was sitting in your camp for nine days girl, right in front of your face. Sound like a reality show doesn’t it? Immunity Challenge Dive into the water and swim out to rope which is anchored to the bottom of the lake. There are puzzle pieces attached and each progressive piece is tied deeper into the water. It appears the last piece is about twelve to fifteen feet underwater. Once again Matsing finishes last meaning they must vote someone out. Angie, who is all of 20 years old couldn’t even go two feet under water to untie the first puzzle piece. 2 feet underwater people, yes two feet underwater which is about one inch deeper than your bathtub. Girl must have really rough time if she drops her soap during her Saturday night bath. Halfway through the challenge Angie says, “I can’t do this.” NO, NO, NO, never admit you can’t do a challenge while a challenge is going on. Of course not to be outdone, Russell can’t even climb up the two foot ladder out of the water. Maybe he should have had one of those monitors around his neck, “Help I’ve fallen and can’t climb a two foot ladder.” Let’s review, one person can’t go down two feet and the other can’t go up two feet. By the way RC was hands down the best swimmer of everyone in this challenge. Hopefully people took notice as there will be more water challenges to come. She could be a huge threat in upcoming individual challenges. Tandang The only thing I have to say about Tandang is this, Artis complained that Mike broke the goggles during the challenge. Artis can indeed speak after nine days of not speaking. My thoughts were Survivor had recruited a monk to play this game. Matsing They are going to tribal council and it is quite apparent that Russell and Angie are on the chopping block. At this point it comes down to who is the weakest link, two people who can’t do much in challenges really. My vote at this point would be to keep Russell simply because he will be loyal but will be the easier vote off later on because his mouth will get him into trouble. Angie cuddled with Malcom early on and he realizes that, “There is no cuddling at night on Survivor.” There is no crying nor cuddling allowed on Survivor. Tribal Council Denise says she has given up a lot leaving family and clients behind……….cue the violins please. Everyone who has ever played this game has left something or somebody behind. Although I think Denise is by far one of the smartest players in this game. Malcolm says Angie and Russell both struggled and the time to step up and play harder is now, “This ain’t sixth grade dodge ball.” Angie is voted off. Next Week Mike Skupin sustains his 57th injury of the year and Matsing must win a challenge or at the very least finish second so they don’t have to vote someone out.