Old vs. New 2.0 - You can't help being yourself.

Old vs. New 2.0 – You can’t help being yourself Ah yes life is whole again. Since we last talked, the ground hog said spring would arrive early and Mother Nature said, “Not so much,” and dumped two feet of snow in the northeast to prove the point that you should rush a woman. We are all taking a peak over the fiscal cliff, Taylor Swift apparently wrote another song about another ex-boyfriend and yes folks, Survivor is back on once again, life as we know it is whole once again. Day One The ten newbie’s arrive by boat and of course because of Survivor Rule #1 Sub-section 14b, there is absolutely no talking to other players until Jeff Probst says so. They all get off the huge row boat and walk to shore. They are told other players are going to arrive and two helicopters arrive with ten former players. Groans arise as the last player off the helicopter is former CIA or FBI counter terrorist, God fearing, flag waving Philip. Yes Philip the six foot four, intimidating black man who wears pink underwear and light blue tennis shoes. If you don’t believe me go rewind your DVR. Challenge The teams get about one minute to take a breath when Jeff announces the first challenge which is basically “Capture the Flag.” The teams send out two players to grab a large sized floatation device which they then attempt to maneuver to their flag pole. As in past years you are all but guaranteed to see at least one butt exposed and a breast or two fall out during the challenge. The Oldies win this one by a four to one count and get flint, the power of fire as reward along with 20 pounds of beans. Before we go one more step, I am going to guess that within the 20 pound container of beans there is either an hidden immunity idol –OR- a clue to where the idol is. Just sayin’. Newbie’s Camp (Gota) Marine Shamar sits around and tells us he thinks it is more important to make fire instead of building a shelter. Again, he does this while everyone else is working and he is sitting on his butt. Sometimes people can’t help but be themselves. Of course Shamar pisses people off and then turns around and makes a first by rubbing two bamboo sticks together with the help of another tribe mate. Goat to hero in about five minutes. I think this guy isn’t going to last long in this game because of his attitude. Oldies (Bikal) Philip models his latest pink underwear. Francesca and Philip played in the same season previously and they still don’t like one another. Oh yeah, Francesca was voted out first the last time she played. Dawn is already setting an alliance with Cochran, Andrea and Francesca. Philip is setting up alliances with everyone, with the exception of Francesca. He wants everyone to believe that the alliance ideas are everyone else’s idea and he is just a messenger. Actually if he can pull that one off, it is a pretty sound strategy. He is going to the “Undercover Brother.” Of course Philip can’t help being Philip when he asks Erik if he wants to be in their alliance but then adds, “I have the numbers so even if you aren’t in it doesn’t matter.” There’s the Philip we have come to know and not like very much. Francesca tells us if she gets voted off first again, she will eat a rock. Gota Reynold likes Allie and Allie like Reynold. DAH? Hope and Eddie are alone and start talking. Eddie says, “We are the two best looking people out here.” To steal from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, today’s word boys and girls is: Vanity. His luxury item is probably a mirror. That night while everyone was sleeping Laura notices that Reynold and Allie are cuddling quite a lot. Oh no Mr. Bill, one of the cardinal rules of Survivor being broken on night. Never, ever cuddle too much. The next day we see Reynold, Allie, Hope and Eddie taking a soak together. “It is just like high school, we are the cool kids.” Pardon me a moment while I put my tongue down my throat. There, I’m better now. Evidently the cool kids flunked math because they have four and the rest of the tribe is six. Keep up you attitude and the cool kids we soon be in the “Loser Lodge.” Immunity Challenge Survivor producers built a four story tall tower with stairs and fire poles. Very cool The point being each team will race players up the stairs to throw crates from a window and then slide back down the fire poles. Another player will then play toss across with bean bags that were contained within the crates attempting to land them in assorted holes on a board. The newbie’s come from behind to win. I am guessing this tower will come into play in future challenges. Bikal Paranoia is running rampant at camp as first Philip’s name, then Andrea’s name and finally Francesa’s name are all being discussed. The thing is most amazing is Corrine was actually being nice to all of people, Cochran. Tribal Council Brandon says this is a tribe of all chiefs and no Indians. Francesca and Philip revisit their feud from years ago. Cochran points out that people needs to watch what they say because lately, votes get changed at tribal council. For the second time in her short illustrious Survivor career, Francesca is voted out first once again. That means she has played this game and been voted out on day three both times. She probably spent more time traveling to and from the game itself than actually playing. She is the new Buffalo Bills of Survivor. For those of you who don’t know football history, the Buffalo Bills once went to four consecutive Super Bowl’s football and lost all four times. Sucks to be her today.