Your alligator shoes are so gay.

$ 1,600.00 for a pair of alligator skin shoes, are you frickin' high or what? I did that math and that's $ 800.00 per foot. You know there is a reason why the military issues camaflouge wear instead of those bright orange vests that hunters wear, it's so our soldiers don't stick out to the enemy you dumbass. The only explanation I have of Dan bringing those shoes was so he could tell someone the cost. One point for ego there. Although you know what would be pretty neat if a real alligator found them and ate them, to quote the Alanis Morrisette song, "Isn't it ironic." I will give one reason why Holly threw the shoes in the water in the first place and then fessing up to it in front of everybody, is because she is a former beauty queen, nuff said. Oh yeah that and she didn't like people eating snails. No, no, no, don't spend another second trying to figure that one out either, just keep thinking to yourself, she's a beauty queen. Finally Tyrone says he is going to keep one eye on Holly and the other on his shoes. (That was funny I don't care who you are) Dan has no foregiveness for anybody who steals a pair of shoes. I will close this subject by saying, I don't know if I have spent $ 1,600.00 on shoes in my entire life.

Coaches Corner with Jimmy Johnson
At the elders camp we see Jimmy Johnson stepping up again and getting people active in getting the hut built while others go fishing. Jimmy T starts bitching again about Jimmy J stepping up. Hey Jimmy T. cool your jets. Your day is coming when you can regale everybody about your last second touchdown against Greaseback High at your high school's 1957 homecoming game. When people hear that story then Jimmy Johnson's two Super Bowl wins will pale in comparison I'm sure. I have to remember to send Jimmy T a crying towel next week. Over at the junior high camp we see Nanoka complaining that no one is talking to her. I am guessing it is her attitude, just sayin'. She then calls Kelly B. a charity case with her artificial leg, nice real nice. Oh yes folks that only ranks second place for comments this week. Nanoka then says she doesn't want anybody thinking she is a BITCH. Sorry lady there ain't no thinking about that one, that ship sailed last week and it ain't comin' back you are a Bitch.

The Challenge
I need help inserting a funny line below. Please send in your best response about the balls.
The teams had to find balls in a stack of hay and then paddle board the balls to a barrel. The elders use (everybody bow here)THE MEDALLION OF POWER which means the elders only have to handle three balls instead of four. (Insert comedy line there, wait for the studio audience laugh...and move on) Speaking of balls I attended a college with a guy who had the nickname "Andy one ball." Why did they call him that, take a guess. He had cancer and after the surgery his friends gave him this name. True Story. Just think if he and Kelly B. the one legged lady got together, great story don't you think. Anyhow I digress. The elders win immunity, some fishing line and a clue to the hidden immunity idol. The clues go so fast and we see Marty and Jill finding the idol. I am not sure at all what Dan was doing as he was digging the sand like a cat burying his turds. Then it dawned on me, Dan was thinking about his shoes.

Pre-Tribal Council
Nanoka doesn't like Kelly. Alina thinks the group needs to split up Brenda and Chase. Shannon keeps flip flopping on Nanoka or Brenda. Brenda thinks everybody is coming up to her to invite her to be in their group. Chase tells Brenda the others are coming after her. Alina and Kelly B are working on Brenda. And Lucy swears on the life of her children that she won't pull the football away from Charlie Brown this time as he kicks it. What a bitch that Lucy is.

Tribal Council
Best 1st tribal council for a tribe ever. Shannon goes after Chase like flies on crap. He thought Chase gave his word. For the life of me I can't believe people would actually lie on this show. Brenda speaks up that no one trusts Shannon. Shannon then has the line of the week and probably one of the dumbest in the history of Survivor when he asks Sasha "Are you Gay?" What are you six? What are you trying to accomplish by asking that question? Jud tries to get Shannon to back down to no avail. A little side note. Jud reminds me of Potsie Webber of Happy Days and a cross with Joey Tribiani of Friends. He was trying to throw his buddy Shannon a life perserver in the water and Shannon kept saying, "Throw me the anchor." I was on the fence of whether Brenda or Shannon should go but when Einstein fires his question to Sasha, my vote would have went directly to him. Dude couldn't stay out of his own way here. Shannon came into tribal council with a 50-50 split on the vote and a rather strong alliance that I could see. He put Chase on the ropes early with comments about flipping and should have stopped right there. One three word sentence sealed his fate. Let there be no doubt, this guy beat himself tonight and it centered around his ego.

Next week on Survivor
Jimmy Johnson starts talking to the monkeys. He's asking them if they're gay.