First of all if you ever have Phillip over to your house for dinner, don't serve rice.
Letters of the week.
"Um, dude, like last week you kept referring to people in the um wrong tribes, like. Um, you said Rob was in Zapatera and he like um, is in Ometepe. Um, what's like up with that?"
Keepin' it real / Robby Benson / Skanecktinee NY
Dear Robby,
Um like dude, I a, was um, just checkin' to make sure um, that you could like read.
Now um, like get your um ass over to my house um, cause your girl scout cookies, like came in. You owe me like 10 bucks.
Sincerely, um, like, ME
Dear smart guy,
"Where did the tradition of throwing rice during weddings come into play?"
Connor Piketon / IT Coordinator / Unionville, PA
Dear Connor,
I went to college with a guy named Connor. He used to wear his pants up about chest high, his shirt was buttoned wrong and he carried about 15 books with him to class. I think he was from PA.
Throwing rice came about because mash potatoes were far too messy. Oh yes before I forget, birds don't swell up and explode from eating rice either. Where's my proof?
Take a look at your windshield after a wedding there keyboard breath.
Andy
Redemption Island
A war veteran, a lawyer and God are sitting on Redemption Island Sounds like the making of a good joke.
Murlino
Steve thinks Phillip is crazy. Meanwhile Phillip meditating on a rock while wearing his feather. The Zapatera people are munching down on rice.
Challenge
Everyone gets to watch the house of cards building challenge. Dave goes home for good and becomes juror #1.
Maggots R Us
Andrea finds maggots in the Ometepe rice supply. Then the fun begins when the Ometepe people, who by the way won't share their tarp when it rains, suddenly ask to put their rice into the container with the Zapatera rice. Funny how things turn in theis game. You have shut out the people from the other tribe for the past couple of days and then want their help. Loved it when Steve said, "Um ... no I don't think so."
The Rice Blow Up
Phillip then goes balistic when Steve tells him he is crazy. It now becomes a racial thing. Really? I think the feather is tickling his brain a little.
Puzzle Challenge
I can tell you right now, if I ever make it onto the show and they have a challenge involving having to do circle, I will puke. The funny part about this is Ashley, blonde Ashley got dizzy. I didn't think it was possible for a blonde to get dizzy. Thinking out loud here, I would have thought a game that made people dizzy would be a huge advantage for a blonde, just sayin'. Rob wins immunity.
Question
There are two people left on Redemption Island. How many people will make it back into the game? When will they bring them back? Wouldn't it be something if two Zapatera players are brought back at say six people? You might have a three - three split. This is keeping the game interesting.
Underwear
Julie hides Phillip's underwear, classic. Then Phillip goes deep into his bag of clothes and brings out his Halloween Oufit from 1955. Indian Princess.
Tribal Council
It was dominated by the rice story. Even after listening to all sides, Phillip still has a screw loose. When someone can take maggots in rice and make it into a racial issue, sorry dude, ain't flying in my book. That's just someone trying to get attention when people ain't paying attention to him. Julie goes to Exile Island.
Next Week
Phillip does something.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Eating Dead Fish
So Ralph gave Mike his idol and no one voted for either of those two. A couple questions come to mind here. Mike said he thought the vote would go for either Ralph or himself. He makes no mention to of this to Ralph who just gave him an idol. Not much loyalty there even though the old Ometepe continues to vote in unison, or do they? Who the hell voted for Steve last night? Since they don't show who voted for who anymore, you are left to guess. If that person had voted for Grant, there would have been a tie and another vote. It had to be someone from Zapatera and my guess is, Phillip. Finally and most important, is anyone in Zapatera going to go after Rob? More on this as the blog goes.
Redemption Island Day 21
MattGod congratulates himself for being the dumbest player in Survivor History for believing Rob a seoond time. The good thing Matt, you are still in this game.
Mulanio Day 21
David tells Rob that his vote was genius. Suck up, butt kisser, brown noser. Mike also takes this route in congratulating Rob for his move. If I am a member of the old Zapetera tribe and hear these comments to Rob, I am taking notes. Not only is Rob's tribe beating down the Ometepe Tribe, those people are now coming up and congratulating Rob for this. If I am any other member of that tribe I am saying, they didn't come up and congratulate anybody else except Rob. He in now kicking people's asses and having them say nice job on kicking our ass last night. Julie points out that the bond on Zapatera is tight. Ralph starts to work Ashley and Natalie to no avail. I don't know about approaching lady three ball and arm pit girl but at least he tried. Those two don't realize it takes more than playing with someone's balls and having good hygiene to win this game. Of course Natalie runs up to Rob right afterward and tells him what Ashley said back to Ralph about this isn't the right time. Rob takes note and says, Ashley ain't going to the end and instructs Natalie to let Ashley trim her own armpit hair from now on. Okay, so I made the last part up. Rob makes a great point in that he doesn't want anyone making a decision on who to vote for up to right before the vote and he must keep the tribes split. This is Survivor 101, great stuff. Phillip then finds an eagle feather and tacks it to his head.
Challenge.
Dig for a club, break a tile, drink water to fill a trough and make a puzzle. Grant wins the challenge.
Murlonio Day 22
The flag pole was moved so David and Mike have fun at Rob's expense and make the people from Zapatera think they are looking for an idol. Rob's paranoia comes into play and he has his tribe rush the camp looking for the idol as well. I think this will be his downfall, paranoia.
Tribal Council
We are treated to a freather dream story from Phillip. Ralph says a bird might fall out of the sky and a whole lot of feathers might come down. Oh yeah, we hear that Phillip worked in the government again. Mike gets sent to Redemption Island by a 6-5 vote vs. Phillip.
Night 22
Rob says Phillip is very loyal. Phillip knows Rob wants to take him to the finals. Ralph says we need to make a move.
Challenge
Hang from a bar. Are you frickin' kidding me? Hang upside down from a bar. Steve and Phillip don't compete and instead eat burgers. My idea for a challenge would be, sit in a circle and make everyone drink a quart of water every fifteen minutes. Last one to pee wins. It comes down to Andrea, Ashley and Natalie. Andrea asks the other two to drop out and she wins. Ashley is my darkhorse to go a long-long way as no one has said anything bad about her since the very beginning with her relationship with Matt.
Dead Fish and Rob
They return to camp and Ralph finds fish galore on the rocks. Rob makes a comment, "Those fish are dead, you shouldn't eat them." Um Rob, I ain't ever eaten a live fish in my life. Everyone chows down, wait a minute, everyone in the Ometepe tribe chows down. Grant goes over and grabs a little bit of fish and King Rob calls him back. Wow, just another sign of Rob being in complete control.
Tribal Council
Phillip said he had another dream about his grandfather. Ralph asks Phillip if his grandfather told him to sit out the challenge. Julie says the Zapatera aren't a tribe but rather a cult. David gets voted out 6-4 over Rob. Once again Ometepe is together in their voting.
So where do we sit?
Julie, Ralph and Steve left in Zapatera as well as Mike, Matt and David at Redemption Island. The question I would be asking myself if I was part of Ometepe would be, who is number six on the pecking order of Zapatera. They are tight but from my vantage point it is either Grant or Andrea or both, even though they don't know it. If I am on Zapatera I would be asking that question now. If you are number six you need help from the other tribe to make it further. As it is playing out Rob has to hope that Matt doesn't win the next Redemption Island challenge.
Next week Steve and Phillip get into it.
Redemption Island Day 21
MattGod congratulates himself for being the dumbest player in Survivor History for believing Rob a seoond time. The good thing Matt, you are still in this game.
Mulanio Day 21
David tells Rob that his vote was genius. Suck up, butt kisser, brown noser. Mike also takes this route in congratulating Rob for his move. If I am a member of the old Zapetera tribe and hear these comments to Rob, I am taking notes. Not only is Rob's tribe beating down the Ometepe Tribe, those people are now coming up and congratulating Rob for this. If I am any other member of that tribe I am saying, they didn't come up and congratulate anybody else except Rob. He in now kicking people's asses and having them say nice job on kicking our ass last night. Julie points out that the bond on Zapatera is tight. Ralph starts to work Ashley and Natalie to no avail. I don't know about approaching lady three ball and arm pit girl but at least he tried. Those two don't realize it takes more than playing with someone's balls and having good hygiene to win this game. Of course Natalie runs up to Rob right afterward and tells him what Ashley said back to Ralph about this isn't the right time. Rob takes note and says, Ashley ain't going to the end and instructs Natalie to let Ashley trim her own armpit hair from now on. Okay, so I made the last part up. Rob makes a great point in that he doesn't want anyone making a decision on who to vote for up to right before the vote and he must keep the tribes split. This is Survivor 101, great stuff. Phillip then finds an eagle feather and tacks it to his head.
Challenge.
Dig for a club, break a tile, drink water to fill a trough and make a puzzle. Grant wins the challenge.
Murlonio Day 22
The flag pole was moved so David and Mike have fun at Rob's expense and make the people from Zapatera think they are looking for an idol. Rob's paranoia comes into play and he has his tribe rush the camp looking for the idol as well. I think this will be his downfall, paranoia.
Tribal Council
We are treated to a freather dream story from Phillip. Ralph says a bird might fall out of the sky and a whole lot of feathers might come down. Oh yeah, we hear that Phillip worked in the government again. Mike gets sent to Redemption Island by a 6-5 vote vs. Phillip.
Night 22
Rob says Phillip is very loyal. Phillip knows Rob wants to take him to the finals. Ralph says we need to make a move.
Challenge
Hang from a bar. Are you frickin' kidding me? Hang upside down from a bar. Steve and Phillip don't compete and instead eat burgers. My idea for a challenge would be, sit in a circle and make everyone drink a quart of water every fifteen minutes. Last one to pee wins. It comes down to Andrea, Ashley and Natalie. Andrea asks the other two to drop out and she wins. Ashley is my darkhorse to go a long-long way as no one has said anything bad about her since the very beginning with her relationship with Matt.
Dead Fish and Rob
They return to camp and Ralph finds fish galore on the rocks. Rob makes a comment, "Those fish are dead, you shouldn't eat them." Um Rob, I ain't ever eaten a live fish in my life. Everyone chows down, wait a minute, everyone in the Ometepe tribe chows down. Grant goes over and grabs a little bit of fish and King Rob calls him back. Wow, just another sign of Rob being in complete control.
Tribal Council
Phillip said he had another dream about his grandfather. Ralph asks Phillip if his grandfather told him to sit out the challenge. Julie says the Zapatera aren't a tribe but rather a cult. David gets voted out 6-4 over Rob. Once again Ometepe is together in their voting.
So where do we sit?
Julie, Ralph and Steve left in Zapatera as well as Mike, Matt and David at Redemption Island. The question I would be asking myself if I was part of Ometepe would be, who is number six on the pecking order of Zapatera. They are tight but from my vantage point it is either Grant or Andrea or both, even though they don't know it. If I am on Zapatera I would be asking that question now. If you are number six you need help from the other tribe to make it further. As it is playing out Rob has to hope that Matt doesn't win the next Redemption Island challenge.
Next week Steve and Phillip get into it.
Everybody grab your balls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm late with the blog from two weeks, but so what? Go tell your mom and have her call me.
Zapatera Night 18
We start out by hearing Julie saying, "We vote out Sarita becsuse she is weak." David tells us that "Ralph voted for me, but I'm not mad." That's good David, nobody should ever carry a grudge on Survivor. Ever. But once again I go back to my thoughts from before, why keep a tribemate this far into the game whom you don't trust and send away one you do trust? Votes mean everything in this game and on top of that, Sarita just might be that loyal person who still votes for you if you make it to he final. David will hold a grudge, just watch.
Redemption Island
Sarita arrives to meet MattGod again. He thinks she is weak.
The Merge.
Both tribes receive email and it appears the merge will be happening. At Ometepe Phillip packs up everything he can carry. Over at Zapatera Mike likes the idea of the merge. Back again at Redemption Island we find out Matt cut his foot. Great time for a product placement here, "I am stuck on band aids cause band aids stuck on me."
Again, do I have to do all the heavy lifting on getting perfectly placed sponsorship ads into this show? Come on CBS, get on your horse. Both tribes are invited to watch the merge so all seats are sold out for the dual between Sarita and MattGod. Rob says he doesn't want Matt to win, really? Why not Rob? Maybe because you sent him there? Ya think? I will say this would be a very hard challenge for me, balancing yourself in a box while standing on a piece of wood about one half of an inch wide. They say the challenges are just luck of the draw but I'm sorry, people with small feel have a huge advantage in a challenge like this. Very surprising to me, Matt wins out again and is put back into the game.
Merge
Rob comes up with a ficticous name Marilonio or someting like that. As soon as it leaves his lips I am thinking, "Dudes last name is Mariano and he comes up with Marilonio. DAH." No one says a word. Mike points out that Rob is the kingpin and then he sits with down with Matt and tells him, "Andrea and I are the keys. I have noi problem whittling my tribe down." You just sat down with someone who you call the kingpin of the game and then tell him your strategy. He also tells Rob that he has access to the idol anytime he wants it. Talk about walking into enemy territory, giving them your gun and telling them your secrets in one minute's time. Bow down to the guy, sing his praises, whatever but don't give him the farm you dumbass. When night comes it starts raining and Zapatera gets under the dry part of the shelter and Ometepe is under the leaking part. Matt wants to vote our Ometepe then go after Rob. Andrea doesn't like that idea and for good reason, she would go beforehand. Matt is conflicted about going after Ometepe. After seeing Mike, Matt and Andrea make God talk amongst themselves, he decides he is going after the Christian Coalition thus sealing his fate of not winning the Sprint Player of the Game. We all know how those Christians like to text.
Ball Balancing
Soon after Jeff explains the ball balancing challenge he utters the best line of the season, "Everybody grab your balls." Yes folks, I would have had a hard time not laughing when he said that. In fact I would have probably been chuckling throughout the challenge and whispering it loud enough for everyone to hear, He said grab your balls. Julie, Ashley and David fell out early and then when Jeff told the group to grab a third ball it finally came down to Natalie and Mike. Mike lost his balance and Natalie was the last one left balancing her balls. In looking at Natalie's profile, her idol is Lady Gaga. Nuf said about being able to balance three balls.
Pre Tribal Council
MIke thinks its him or Ralph going. Matt tells us he is getting closer to God because of this experience. Mike writes a note to Matt telling him they are voting for Grant. WTF? Think for one moment dude and ask yourself, where have you seen someone write a note before? Maybe JT on a show called SURVIVOR? They crucified that guy because of it. So for a second time WTF? Andrea points out to Matt that Rob screwed them before. Andrea has been on the Dean's List in every semester in college, she is pretty smart to say the least and logical.
Tribal Council
Ralph states that no one is talking. When someone brings up that Zapatera is sleeping under the tarp and Omepetepe isn't, Ashley points out that her tribe won the tarp. Yeah and in your profile you said one of your pet peeves is lazy people you beach sleeping arm pit hair snipping nit wit. I had to say that. Ashley wins the title for most un-deserving player left in the game and that is why I would take her to the final. If someone asked me why she deserved to win my answer would be, she is great at clipping the underarm hair of Natalie, great job. David and Phillip take turns bitch slapping one another again. Ralph points out that we have caned Matt once and he is back again. Ralph gives his idol to Mike but it doesn't matter as MattGod goes back to Redemption Island by a six to five vote. One person voted for Steve?
Next week Phillip turns into a bird and Matt doesn't think he is a very good player. Nope, just too trusting my friend.
Zapatera Night 18
We start out by hearing Julie saying, "We vote out Sarita becsuse she is weak." David tells us that "Ralph voted for me, but I'm not mad." That's good David, nobody should ever carry a grudge on Survivor. Ever. But once again I go back to my thoughts from before, why keep a tribemate this far into the game whom you don't trust and send away one you do trust? Votes mean everything in this game and on top of that, Sarita just might be that loyal person who still votes for you if you make it to he final. David will hold a grudge, just watch.
Redemption Island
Sarita arrives to meet MattGod again. He thinks she is weak.
The Merge.
Both tribes receive email and it appears the merge will be happening. At Ometepe Phillip packs up everything he can carry. Over at Zapatera Mike likes the idea of the merge. Back again at Redemption Island we find out Matt cut his foot. Great time for a product placement here, "I am stuck on band aids cause band aids stuck on me."
Again, do I have to do all the heavy lifting on getting perfectly placed sponsorship ads into this show? Come on CBS, get on your horse. Both tribes are invited to watch the merge so all seats are sold out for the dual between Sarita and MattGod. Rob says he doesn't want Matt to win, really? Why not Rob? Maybe because you sent him there? Ya think? I will say this would be a very hard challenge for me, balancing yourself in a box while standing on a piece of wood about one half of an inch wide. They say the challenges are just luck of the draw but I'm sorry, people with small feel have a huge advantage in a challenge like this. Very surprising to me, Matt wins out again and is put back into the game.
Merge
Rob comes up with a ficticous name Marilonio or someting like that. As soon as it leaves his lips I am thinking, "Dudes last name is Mariano and he comes up with Marilonio. DAH." No one says a word. Mike points out that Rob is the kingpin and then he sits with down with Matt and tells him, "Andrea and I are the keys. I have noi problem whittling my tribe down." You just sat down with someone who you call the kingpin of the game and then tell him your strategy. He also tells Rob that he has access to the idol anytime he wants it. Talk about walking into enemy territory, giving them your gun and telling them your secrets in one minute's time. Bow down to the guy, sing his praises, whatever but don't give him the farm you dumbass. When night comes it starts raining and Zapatera gets under the dry part of the shelter and Ometepe is under the leaking part. Matt wants to vote our Ometepe then go after Rob. Andrea doesn't like that idea and for good reason, she would go beforehand. Matt is conflicted about going after Ometepe. After seeing Mike, Matt and Andrea make God talk amongst themselves, he decides he is going after the Christian Coalition thus sealing his fate of not winning the Sprint Player of the Game. We all know how those Christians like to text.
Ball Balancing
Soon after Jeff explains the ball balancing challenge he utters the best line of the season, "Everybody grab your balls." Yes folks, I would have had a hard time not laughing when he said that. In fact I would have probably been chuckling throughout the challenge and whispering it loud enough for everyone to hear, He said grab your balls. Julie, Ashley and David fell out early and then when Jeff told the group to grab a third ball it finally came down to Natalie and Mike. Mike lost his balance and Natalie was the last one left balancing her balls. In looking at Natalie's profile, her idol is Lady Gaga. Nuf said about being able to balance three balls.
Pre Tribal Council
MIke thinks its him or Ralph going. Matt tells us he is getting closer to God because of this experience. Mike writes a note to Matt telling him they are voting for Grant. WTF? Think for one moment dude and ask yourself, where have you seen someone write a note before? Maybe JT on a show called SURVIVOR? They crucified that guy because of it. So for a second time WTF? Andrea points out to Matt that Rob screwed them before. Andrea has been on the Dean's List in every semester in college, she is pretty smart to say the least and logical.
Tribal Council
Ralph states that no one is talking. When someone brings up that Zapatera is sleeping under the tarp and Omepetepe isn't, Ashley points out that her tribe won the tarp. Yeah and in your profile you said one of your pet peeves is lazy people you beach sleeping arm pit hair snipping nit wit. I had to say that. Ashley wins the title for most un-deserving player left in the game and that is why I would take her to the final. If someone asked me why she deserved to win my answer would be, she is great at clipping the underarm hair of Natalie, great job. David and Phillip take turns bitch slapping one another again. Ralph points out that we have caned Matt once and he is back again. Ralph gives his idol to Mike but it doesn't matter as MattGod goes back to Redemption Island by a six to five vote. One person voted for Steve?
Next week Phillip turns into a bird and Matt doesn't think he is a very good player. Nope, just too trusting my friend.
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