Everybody grab your balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm late with the blog from two weeks, but so what? Go tell your mom and have her call me.
Zapatera Night 18
We start out by hearing Julie saying, "We vote out Sarita becsuse she is weak." David tells us that "Ralph voted for me, but I'm not mad." That's good David, nobody should ever carry a grudge on Survivor. Ever. But once again I go back to my thoughts from before, why keep a tribemate this far into the game whom you don't trust and send away one you do trust? Votes mean everything in this game and on top of that, Sarita just might be that loyal person who still votes for you if you make it to he final. David will hold a grudge, just watch.
Redemption Island
Sarita arrives to meet MattGod again. He thinks she is weak.
The Merge.
Both tribes receive email and it appears the merge will be happening. At Ometepe Phillip packs up everything he can carry. Over at Zapatera Mike likes the idea of the merge. Back again at Redemption Island we find out Matt cut his foot. Great time for a product placement here, "I am stuck on band aids cause band aids stuck on me."
Again, do I have to do all the heavy lifting on getting perfectly placed sponsorship ads into this show? Come on CBS, get on your horse. Both tribes are invited to watch the merge so all seats are sold out for the dual between Sarita and MattGod. Rob says he doesn't want Matt to win, really? Why not Rob? Maybe because you sent him there? Ya think? I will say this would be a very hard challenge for me, balancing yourself in a box while standing on a piece of wood about one half of an inch wide. They say the challenges are just luck of the draw but I'm sorry, people with small feel have a huge advantage in a challenge like this. Very surprising to me, Matt wins out again and is put back into the game.
Merge
Rob comes up with a ficticous name Marilonio or someting like that. As soon as it leaves his lips I am thinking, "Dudes last name is Mariano and he comes up with Marilonio. DAH." No one says a word. Mike points out that Rob is the kingpin and then he sits with down with Matt and tells him, "Andrea and I are the keys. I have noi problem whittling my tribe down." You just sat down with someone who you call the kingpin of the game and then tell him your strategy. He also tells Rob that he has access to the idol anytime he wants it. Talk about walking into enemy territory, giving them your gun and telling them your secrets in one minute's time. Bow down to the guy, sing his praises, whatever but don't give him the farm you dumbass. When night comes it starts raining and Zapatera gets under the dry part of the shelter and Ometepe is under the leaking part. Matt wants to vote our Ometepe then go after Rob. Andrea doesn't like that idea and for good reason, she would go beforehand. Matt is conflicted about going after Ometepe. After seeing Mike, Matt and Andrea make God talk amongst themselves, he decides he is going after the Christian Coalition thus sealing his fate of not winning the Sprint Player of the Game. We all know how those Christians like to text.
Ball Balancing
Soon after Jeff explains the ball balancing challenge he utters the best line of the season, "Everybody grab your balls." Yes folks, I would have had a hard time not laughing when he said that. In fact I would have probably been chuckling throughout the challenge and whispering it loud enough for everyone to hear, He said grab your balls. Julie, Ashley and David fell out early and then when Jeff told the group to grab a third ball it finally came down to Natalie and Mike. Mike lost his balance and Natalie was the last one left balancing her balls. In looking at Natalie's profile, her idol is Lady Gaga. Nuf said about being able to balance three balls.
Pre Tribal Council
MIke thinks its him or Ralph going. Matt tells us he is getting closer to God because of this experience. Mike writes a note to Matt telling him they are voting for Grant. WTF? Think for one moment dude and ask yourself, where have you seen someone write a note before? Maybe JT on a show called SURVIVOR? They crucified that guy because of it. So for a second time WTF? Andrea points out to Matt that Rob screwed them before. Andrea has been on the Dean's List in every semester in college, she is pretty smart to say the least and logical.
Tribal Council
Ralph states that no one is talking. When someone brings up that Zapatera is sleeping under the tarp and Omepetepe isn't, Ashley points out that her tribe won the tarp. Yeah and in your profile you said one of your pet peeves is lazy people you beach sleeping arm pit hair snipping nit wit. I had to say that. Ashley wins the title for most un-deserving player left in the game and that is why I would take her to the final. If someone asked me why she deserved to win my answer would be, she is great at clipping the underarm hair of Natalie, great job. David and Phillip take turns bitch slapping one another again. Ralph points out that we have caned Matt once and he is back again. Ralph gives his idol to Mike but it doesn't matter as MattGod goes back to Redemption Island by a six to five vote. One person voted for Steve?
Next week Phillip turns into a bird and Matt doesn't think he is a very good player. Nope, just too trusting my friend.