Helicopters, Broken Bones and Chickens

Welcome back Survivor fans to Heroes vs. Villains. Let's jump in with both feet with the helicopter entrance and the players telling us what they have been doing since they were last on Survivor and how they feel and zzzzzzzzzzzzz. I timed it and this was only two minutes shorter than the Super Bowl pregame which lasted just under five hours this past Sunday. I am thinking CBS needs to have them repel or jump out of the copters from about twenty feet, make the threat of injury possible. Just sayin'.

Anyhow onto the beach where it resembled a high school reunion. Alright already everybody in America knows who these people are and why they are there, let's fold up the badminton net, put the cat back in the garage and bring out the blindfolds and lawn jarts. Get this thing started.

The first challenge was basically a backyard version of "smear the queer". Un-earth a sandbag and attempt it to carry it back to your mat. WOW, this got nasty quickly as within about the first five minutes Stephenie's shoulder gets dislocated, Rupert breaks a toe and Russell is pulling his best World Wrestling Federation moves on Tom's leg. Hey, did anybody else get a kick out of Jeff looking back over his shoulder and yelling at Russell as he was about to rip Tom's leg off, "Play Fair."
That's about the same thing as when I was growing up and tearing around the house while carrying a pair of scissors and my brother was chasing me with a butcher knife and my mom yells at us to, "Stop running." No mention of the scissors or knife but rather we shouldn't run in the house. REALLY? (Did this really happen, believe what you want) Then one of the highlights of the night for me. After the challenge we hear Tyson say they Coach owned Tom when he frog hopped him back to the mat. Ya know, that comment would hold more water had someone like Randy or Russel said it. When I hear a guy who is a "villain wanna be" say it while wearing a swim suit that makes him look like the captain of a junior high swim team, not so much. Tyson so bad wants to be a villain but he just doesn't fit the part. He's the guy Tony Soprano sends out to egg people's car or toilet paper their house. "Yeah dude, eggs are on sale at Kroger's two for one this week so I'll be back." Dude, I'd be more scared of getting a kidney stone or having an erection that lasted longer than four hours than of you. Anyhow, I digress.
We go back to villains camp to see Russell making alliances with everybody including two coconuts that he found on the ground. This guy is shameless and everybody knows it. What makes this special is he is the only player that no one knows and just like before, no one really says anything about it except Parvati who says something along the lines of "I would rather make a deal with the devil than not have him on my side." Good point. Oh yes, we get to see Rob make fire from rubbing wood together which was cool. Then we see Coach getting goaded into climbing a tree to get coconuts. He goes halfway up and changes his mind. I finally understand why the pygmies tied him up and beat the crap out of him a few years back. Because dude paddled like 1,000 miles down the Amazon, swam in the same water with man eating fish, had lions and tigers chase him in the woods and went days and days without eating, but when the pygmies asked him to climb a tree to get a few coconuts he said, "I don't want to hurt myself." Yeah, I'd beat the crap out of him too.
Over at Heroes camp we see people who have played together aligning themselves with people they with before (What a surprise), Tom organizes a chicken hunt and of course Amanda gives us the first "OH MY GOD" of the year when JT kills a chicken.
In the challenge the villains come from behind and win the challenge which involves building a boat, rowing and getting fire, figure out the puzzle, and climb. And of course as happened before Sugar cries when they lose and Courtney laughs at Sugar because of this. By a show of blogs, did anyone else think anybody other than Sugar was getting voted out? When the players started scrambling Cirie said she wanted to get rid of Stephenie and keep Sugar because she is weaker and complains. Tom was already thinking about Cirie because she is a great strategy person. Overall the vote went where it should because the first person out should always be the weakest to keep the tribe strong and also to start exposing the next weakest person. Oh yes, Sugar did give us the first ever topless finish in the first challenge thank you very much. Um maybe her rubbing on Colby had a little to do with this. Ya think. I am sure I missed some things as will happen in a two hour show which could have been about an hour and ten minutes. Next week we see Boston Rob pass out, stayed tuned.