Last night just proves one thing, even God would have a hard time beating Boston Rob on Survivor.
Redumption Island
FWAN-CHES-KWA says "Coming to Redemption Island might be the best thing for me." Maybe I am looking at this wrong, yeah and maybe a good kick to my groin would be the best thing for me today.
Ouetepe
Rob says that "tribal council was one of the wildest he had ever been a part of." At least I hope it was Rob because no one else has ever been to a tribal council before. Phillip then tells Rob, "You own my vote."
Captain Underpants
We then see Phillip-Captain Underpants hunting crabs with a spear and a rock. My opinion changed about Phillip when he started talking about serving his country. It may have sounded corny but, dude is wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Ralphy Boy
Hey Ralphy Boy, nice job doing your best Russell imitation by finding the idol with no clue. I didn't mean to say Ralph doesn't have a clue but you get my meaning. Love his quote, "Simple as wiping my butt." Of course it's pretty simple if you use two ply but that's another story for another day. Let's see if he can go more than one day without wetting his pants and telling everyone that he has the idol.
Russell T
He calls Ralphie maybe one of the dumbest people in the world. Yeah dude, but he is one of the dumbest players in the world with an idol in his pocket. Oh yeah, and for the third time Russel T is hooking up with younger women. I thought maybe the third time around he might change his colors, but no. He always talks about getting to the end. Maybe he should work on winning this time.
Boston Rob
For the purpose of this season he will now be known as "Split the Vote Rob." Rob notices that God-Matt and Andrea are getting close. He tells the viewing audience how a boy-girl relationship can go a long-long way in this game as he reminds us that he and wife Amber did this once before. Yeah and remember who won and who came in 2nd place? He also reminds us that Phillip needs to earn his way back into his good graces after last week's tell all at tribal council.
Challenge
Swim, climb, hit a tile, grab a key, unlock a box and break tiles with a ball. You know what I love best about this challenge? The part right after they jump into the water and swim across the pool and then they climb the ladder, that part. About 80% of the people have their butts hanging out when they climb the ladder, that's my favorite part. Can't ever get enough of people pulling their pants back up, much like that junior high kid you see walking down the street with his buddies wearin' the three size too large pants down to his knees.
Shakin' Hands with God
OH NO, God-Matt shook hands with the winning tribe after Zapatara won. That had to be one of the worst illustrations of sportsmanship EVER. Split the Vote Rob saw it and didn't like it one bit. Hey Rob, why don't you take God-Matt out and shoot him, make him walk the blank or better yet nail him to a cross. Sorry about that last one, that was just wrong to say.
Basket of Stuff
Russel grabs the winnings and heads back to camp. Along the way he notices a clue sitting in the basket of winnings and pulls it out before anyone sees him do it. Well, before he thinks anyone sees him do it. Ralphy Boy sees Russell take the clue and then starts telling everyone that he saw Russell take the clue. Just as Russell is bragging to Stephanie and Krista about finding the clue Ralphy Boy walks up and confronts Russell. The dead give away that he found the clue was the "Oh Shit," look on the faces of the girls when Ralphy Boy confronted Russell. Russell bring out his infamous, "You are either with me or against me," quote which only brings a smile to Ralphy Boy's face. You know its funny how Russell always wants everyone else to be loyal and honest with the exception of himself.
Back at Ometepe Captain Underwear tells the tribe he should have played better and then he and Rob get all private with one another with hugs and confessions. Good tv. Matt-God says Rob is a text book player. YUP.
Tribal Council
We learn from Captain Underpant about lions and elephants, Christina plays her idol and Matt gets sent to Redemption Island with FWAN-CHES-KWA. Ya know, I hope FWAN-CHES-KWA stays around for awhile because I really like typing her name like that.
Next Week
Stephanie says it will be the biggest blindside ever which probably means it will be a boring week.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Fwan...........Ches...........Kwa.....................
"The name is Fwan-Ches-Kwa.......James........Fwan-Ches-Kwa."
Helicopters and Three piece suits.
Cue the helicopter and Jeff Probst...."18 people with nothing but the clothes on their back............."So why is it after about 21 or 22 seasons of Survivor, there is that one guy who thinks they are taking people out for one last meal and shows up on Survivor wearing a three piece suit? Because he isn't paying attetion. He is the kid who forgot to have his parents sign his permission slip to go to the dairy farm on a class trip in the fourth grade. He didn't have paste in his supply bag for his first day of kindergarten. He's the guy watching football on the big screen at a strip club. Yeah, that guy. And how is it that the four blondes on this show just happened to all be wearing their bikinis under their clothing? Yeah, funny how the dumb blondes always seem to be wearing bikinis underneath isnt' it?
Two Guys walk onto a beach.
The players hop out of their copter and soon learn two more players will be joining them. Another copter arrives caarrying Boston Rob and the Devil himself, Russell. Jeff then explains the rules of how redemption island works and also gives some tips on how to winterize your house for tax savings.
We Russell say, "I am so happy to be back and this time I'm not here to sabotage the game." Yeah......... We see Ralphie and Mike bonding. Mike calls Ralphie "Steel Wool.", I'm guessing because he has a lot of back hair.
Hammer and Nails
WTF is this? Hammer and Nails on day one? What the hell, how about body massages, pedicures and facials? Is this Survivor or Housewives of Montana?
Federal Agents and Idols
We get to see a little of things to come when Phillip gets a little aggressive with Francesca in telling her what to do. He then confesses to the group that he used to be a special agent with the FBI or CIA or Hair Club for Men, I'm not sure. We see Kristina looking for clues to the immunity idol and Rob takes notice. Here's the thing about looking for an idol on your own. Don't carry a shovel into the local river with you, makes you look like um...........your looking for an idol. However, she does find it while looking for landmarks. At this point I write down, "Can she keep the idol without telling anyone?"
Challenge
Pushing blocks, running up a ladder and putting together a puzzle. Zapatera wins so Rob's group has to go to tribal council.
Pre-Tribal
Rob doesn't trust Christian because he knows she was looking for the idol. When she approaches him and asks who they are voting for, he stones her. She has told Phillip and Francesca she has found the idol which means its value has decreased.
Tribal Council
We find out that Rob is in charge and Phillip likes to get busy. Matt mentions that Phillip calls people out. Francesca knows the team wants to keep strong. Phillip, (the special agent guy who did undercover work looking for secret information that he was supposed to keep secret) decides to tell the entire group that Francesca and Christina are voting for Rob and that Christina has the idol. Rob asks Christina if he can see the idol which she readily shows him. Rob then says, "If you give me the idol you are safe." Yeah, hand me your gun and I promise not to shoot you, I promise. What the hell just happened? Rob calls them rookies and he is right on the money. Francesca goes to redemption island.
Next Week
Phillip comes up with a plan to vote out Christina and tells her all about the plan at tribal council, because that's the way he plays.
Helicopters and Three piece suits.
Cue the helicopter and Jeff Probst...."18 people with nothing but the clothes on their back............."So why is it after about 21 or 22 seasons of Survivor, there is that one guy who thinks they are taking people out for one last meal and shows up on Survivor wearing a three piece suit? Because he isn't paying attetion. He is the kid who forgot to have his parents sign his permission slip to go to the dairy farm on a class trip in the fourth grade. He didn't have paste in his supply bag for his first day of kindergarten. He's the guy watching football on the big screen at a strip club. Yeah, that guy. And how is it that the four blondes on this show just happened to all be wearing their bikinis under their clothing? Yeah, funny how the dumb blondes always seem to be wearing bikinis underneath isnt' it?
Two Guys walk onto a beach.
The players hop out of their copter and soon learn two more players will be joining them. Another copter arrives caarrying Boston Rob and the Devil himself, Russell. Jeff then explains the rules of how redemption island works and also gives some tips on how to winterize your house for tax savings.
We Russell say, "I am so happy to be back and this time I'm not here to sabotage the game." Yeah......... We see Ralphie and Mike bonding. Mike calls Ralphie "Steel Wool.", I'm guessing because he has a lot of back hair.
Hammer and Nails
WTF is this? Hammer and Nails on day one? What the hell, how about body massages, pedicures and facials? Is this Survivor or Housewives of Montana?
Federal Agents and Idols
We get to see a little of things to come when Phillip gets a little aggressive with Francesca in telling her what to do. He then confesses to the group that he used to be a special agent with the FBI or CIA or Hair Club for Men, I'm not sure. We see Kristina looking for clues to the immunity idol and Rob takes notice. Here's the thing about looking for an idol on your own. Don't carry a shovel into the local river with you, makes you look like um...........your looking for an idol. However, she does find it while looking for landmarks. At this point I write down, "Can she keep the idol without telling anyone?"
Challenge
Pushing blocks, running up a ladder and putting together a puzzle. Zapatera wins so Rob's group has to go to tribal council.
Pre-Tribal
Rob doesn't trust Christian because he knows she was looking for the idol. When she approaches him and asks who they are voting for, he stones her. She has told Phillip and Francesca she has found the idol which means its value has decreased.
Tribal Council
We find out that Rob is in charge and Phillip likes to get busy. Matt mentions that Phillip calls people out. Francesca knows the team wants to keep strong. Phillip, (the special agent guy who did undercover work looking for secret information that he was supposed to keep secret) decides to tell the entire group that Francesca and Christina are voting for Rob and that Christina has the idol. Rob asks Christina if he can see the idol which she readily shows him. Rob then says, "If you give me the idol you are safe." Yeah, hand me your gun and I promise not to shoot you, I promise. What the hell just happened? Rob calls them rookies and he is right on the money. Francesca goes to redemption island.
Next Week
Phillip comes up with a plan to vote out Christina and tells her all about the plan at tribal council, because that's the way he plays.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
And another thing about cats. (Survivor warmup)
Let's clear something up front the start, I don't hate cats but on the other hand I don't like cats either. They're sort of like the duck billed platypus, they are just there. However, I will give you some history on the cat, from andypedia.
First, people really like dogs better than cats, it's a fact. There is a Westminster Dog Show that takes place annually. Yes I know what you're thinking, isn't it a hoot watching people dress these animals up like a little kid going to his first day of school. However, my favorite part is when the judge asks the owner to take their dog for a run around the ring. Let's be real here, the judge just wants to see very un-coordinated people run in a circle, makes me laugh every year. My point is this, there is NO Westminster Cat Show nor is there any Cat Show anywhere.
Secondly, the only reason any cats made it onto the ark with Noah was because of his neighbor, Emma Schlitz. She was the first reported "Cat Lady," in the history of history and had 72 cats in her rock cave. She snuck 14 cats on board that fateful day. The only other person I have ever met who worked harder to keep a cat alive was one of my sister's. I am not sure but I think this cat spent time in the Iraqi War as it had been shot, needed it's mouth wired shut and from what I saw in it's cat box, crapped out a hand grenade and survived.
Finally we all know of the 4-H organization. It has been many years but if I remember correctly the 4-H's are for head, heart, hands and either hash or hemp. If you think I am kidding about the last one then you never spent time at a 4-H summer camp. In any event when you go to a county fair you will find, pigs, cows, horses, dogs, ducks, chickens etc. NO CATS. You know why? Because the other animals voted and said, NO Frickin' Cats. You can look it up on andypedia.
Oh yes, Survivor starts tonight.
First, people really like dogs better than cats, it's a fact. There is a Westminster Dog Show that takes place annually. Yes I know what you're thinking, isn't it a hoot watching people dress these animals up like a little kid going to his first day of school. However, my favorite part is when the judge asks the owner to take their dog for a run around the ring. Let's be real here, the judge just wants to see very un-coordinated people run in a circle, makes me laugh every year. My point is this, there is NO Westminster Cat Show nor is there any Cat Show anywhere.
Secondly, the only reason any cats made it onto the ark with Noah was because of his neighbor, Emma Schlitz. She was the first reported "Cat Lady," in the history of history and had 72 cats in her rock cave. She snuck 14 cats on board that fateful day. The only other person I have ever met who worked harder to keep a cat alive was one of my sister's. I am not sure but I think this cat spent time in the Iraqi War as it had been shot, needed it's mouth wired shut and from what I saw in it's cat box, crapped out a hand grenade and survived.
Finally we all know of the 4-H organization. It has been many years but if I remember correctly the 4-H's are for head, heart, hands and either hash or hemp. If you think I am kidding about the last one then you never spent time at a 4-H summer camp. In any event when you go to a county fair you will find, pigs, cows, horses, dogs, ducks, chickens etc. NO CATS. You know why? Because the other animals voted and said, NO Frickin' Cats. You can look it up on andypedia.
Oh yes, Survivor starts tonight.
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