Upon returning from Tribal Council where for some reason David decided to vote with Stephanie last week against Sarita. Explain this part to me. You are in an alliance of six people going against an alliance of one person. Why would you vote with the one person? Aren't you a lawyer? "I don't trust you but I have no problem with you." David says to Sarita in his lawerly fashion as they return to camp. See David's a lawyer so that's the way he talks. I am just thinking out loud here so amuse yourself while my brain hums, but if you didn't trust someone, wouldn't that in itself be a problem? So anyhow Stephanie goes to redemption Island to talk food with God. And talk and talk and talk.......................... For the love of MattGod, shut the hell up already.
Staples Commercial
I love this commercial. People come home to find their house is broken into and the thieves took everything but their computer from 1989. So of course they go to Staples to buy a new computer. Um, how about thinking about moving to a new neighborhood where people don't steal your crap?
Redemption Island
Matt beats Stephanie in the memory game which means God has now won five in a row.
Before she exits stage left Stephanie tells Rob that everyone is coming for him and beware.
Ometepe
While walking back to camp after the God memory challenge, (Like playing a memory challenge against God would be fair) Phillip and Rob discuss what to tell the tribe. Rob says they are going to tell them everything. Good job Rob as he tells the tribe everything and then tells them that Phillip didn't want to tell them anything. He is doing a good job keeping the hate up for Phillip, like any help is needed.
Zapatera
Ralph tells the tribe that Matt will be with the other tribe if he makes it back. The talk moves to David, proposed by Sarita. Nobody trusts the guy. This makes this the question of the week, do you keep someone who is strong or someone you can trust?
More on this later.
Ometepe
Phillip wants some of the crispy rice that Matt likes and then spouts off that everyone is looking out for Rob and he gets all the kudos yadda, yadda, yadda. He says I don't feel like I am being treated fairly, well look who just woke up. Dude, no where in the rules of Survivor does the word "Fair" appear. There are other words like, lying, cheating, stealing shoes, eye gouging and farting then blaming it on someone else, but "Fair" is not one of those words. If you want fair then hop into your car when you get home, start driving into the country until you start smelling the aroma of cow, horse, pig and chicken shit and take the next left and SHAZAM, you're at a county fair, a flea market or maybe a Wal-Mart they all look the same to me.
Challenge
I love obstacle courses especially when it involves running, jumping, anything with a ball and of course running head long into a brick wall. That just sounds like fun.
Once again, Zapatera gets a huge lead and then can't seem to shoot a ball into a basket. Grant steps up yet again to lead Ometepe to the win. They get to go on a helicopter ride, sit next to a volcano and watch as Rob finds his 97th clue to a hidden immunity idol. I am thinking by this time the clue should just read, "To find the hidden idol, ask Rob where he put it." Nuf said.
Zapatera
After the challenge the first thing Sarita says metaphorically, "If you think that I'm not good enough then kick me off." Why would you say this? That would be like winning a 100 million in the lottery with another co-worker and saying, "If you don't think I deserve half the money then don't give me any." DAH What the hell do you think they are going to do. This game often involves going against all logic what so ever and not throwing someone else under the bus but simply walking out in front of one yourself. Which bring me to my point, strong vs. trustworthy. Put yourself in the shoes of Zapatera. Five of the six people in that tribe say that they don't trust Dave but he is stronger than Sarita. Okey fine, he is stronger and a better puzzle player etc. First, you know the merge is coming soon and you know he is a stronger challenge person who.....wait for it....who you can't trust. Why would you keep a stronger player you can't trust over a weaker player you can. If he wins a challenge and flips, you lost the challege and most likely will lose one of your alliance. Keeping Sarita and losing a challenge isn't as bad because she won't flip.
Survivor has shown through the years that stronger players without a strong alliance don't go far. That and the fact that stronger players have a target on their back once the individual cahllenges start, just watch what happens to Grant if he starts winning individual immunities, people will want to knock him out. Weaker players with stronger aliance go much further because no one sees them as a threat in challenges or to flip. They make a mistake last night.
Sarita gets voted to go see God.
Next Week
God gets hurt and Phillip learns how to make crispy macaroni and cheese using crabs, coconuts and crispy socks.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
God gets a bible
I have been remiss in not relaying any letters this year.
Dear Blog Guy,
Why ain't you printed any letters this year?
Ralph Cradem - Yonkers, NY
Dear Ralph,
Cause I ain't had any worth writin' about you comi pinko. By the way your name is Ralph? My favorite Ralph of all time is Ralph Wiggum of the Simpson's. Are you two related you nose pickin', booger eatin' mal content? And where is Yonkers located?
I am guessing it's halfway between your mom's house and your favorite diner called EAT'S.
Zapatera Day 13
Steve asks Stephanie why she voted for him at tribal council last night. We get the usual and most often overused answer in the history of Survivor, "It's nother personnel." Did I not say in my last post to watch out for this, didn't I? To remind you, yes I did.
OmetepeDay 13
Why is it that everyone thinks Phillip is nuts? Because he is. It's funny how people like Ashley make fun of Phillip and his actions. Ashley tells this to a national television audience as we watch her trim the underarm hair of another girl. Now that's perfectly acceptable behavior. Phillip asks the girls to help with the fire and they agree to help. Apparently they agreed to help each other trim body hair and not keep the fire going. Phillip should realize that asking Ashley and Natalie to help with the fire is like asking a six year to do his homework while watching television, their attention span is focused on Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Redemption Island
Krista and Matt are having a beach prayer before they go to battle. Matt wins yet again and Krista presents him with her luxury item bible. Former first God Lady Andrea who went on Stub Hub and got a front row seat for the event for only $ 29.95 took notice of this. Evidently even God can have a jealous girlfriend.
(Side note here: For those of you who are religious and take offense to this type of writing, head to Yonkers and have lunch with Ralph)
Zapatera Day 15
Wow, talk about editing and picking out one player to kick to the curb. This week everyone piled on Sarita. Had MattGod been at camp he probably would have thrown his bible at her. They get on her about everything from being a queen to brushing her teeth with a stick. Actually I would have liked to have seen her brush her teeth with a stick "cause I hain't ever seen such a thing in my hole entire life li hood."
Back at Ometepe
Phillip pulls out the guns and complains to Ashley and Natalie that they aren't doing anything. Calling a spade, a spade. Rob says exactly what I would have said, "I'm not going to tell them to do anything because when it comes time to vote for a winner, that will work against them." Of course he gathers himself and realizes he has to rally the troups before the challenge.
Zapatera
Stephanie has realization that if she wants to have a chance then she has to kiss butt of people she hates. I can really understand why she liked Russell so much, I am thinking in real life they are brother and sister.
Challenge
Bungi Cords, balls and lacrosse sticks. Ah, he said balls. Yes folks as I said last week any challenge involving blindfolds is a lot of fun. Well any challenge involving hard objects that you can swing at opponents is also a favorite. This thing was over early. Zapetera didn't figure out that Natalie was sending the ball short and Grant kept coming up and catching it, four of five times to be exact. Ometepe wins 5 to 0. Ometepe goes on reward and there is another clue and we get to see Phillip play his macho man role to the camera..........................
Zapatera
Dave wants to keep Stephanie because she has more heart than Sarita and they need to win challenges. Stephanie starts sucking up to Julie. Julie makes the best point of the week, "We can keep Stephanie who has spunk but I don't trust her or we can keep Sarita who is weak but we can trust."
Tribal Council
Dave mentions that the tribe has changed since throwing a challenge a few days back. Really? Ralph comments that had he been the one shooting the balls the outcome would have been different. Really? I think last week Dave said the same thing about putting the puzzle together instead of Stephanie when they lost. Dave said Sarita didn't want to be a goat this week so she sat out. Dave is getting pretty good at passing around blame. Stephanie says Sarita was shsking in her boots when they saw what the challenge was. I'm sorry Stephanie but I need to correct you here, Sarita was shaking her size 6 and half Reeboks. Tempers were running high so Jeff called for a tribe intervention with Dr. Phil, everybody laughed, everybody cried but still not one person made the most obvious observation. How is it that most of the people in the tribe say Stephanie is a stronger challenge players when last week she couldn't solve the puzzle and this week she was in the challenge while Sarita sat out and they still lost? Doesn't make much sense to me.
Stephanie gets voted to go see God and his new bible.
Next Week on Survivor.
Tempers start to flare. WOW, good need something to happen.
Dear Blog Guy,
Why ain't you printed any letters this year?
Ralph Cradem - Yonkers, NY
Dear Ralph,
Cause I ain't had any worth writin' about you comi pinko. By the way your name is Ralph? My favorite Ralph of all time is Ralph Wiggum of the Simpson's. Are you two related you nose pickin', booger eatin' mal content? And where is Yonkers located?
I am guessing it's halfway between your mom's house and your favorite diner called EAT'S.
Zapatera Day 13
Steve asks Stephanie why she voted for him at tribal council last night. We get the usual and most often overused answer in the history of Survivor, "It's nother personnel." Did I not say in my last post to watch out for this, didn't I? To remind you, yes I did.
OmetepeDay 13
Why is it that everyone thinks Phillip is nuts? Because he is. It's funny how people like Ashley make fun of Phillip and his actions. Ashley tells this to a national television audience as we watch her trim the underarm hair of another girl. Now that's perfectly acceptable behavior. Phillip asks the girls to help with the fire and they agree to help. Apparently they agreed to help each other trim body hair and not keep the fire going. Phillip should realize that asking Ashley and Natalie to help with the fire is like asking a six year to do his homework while watching television, their attention span is focused on Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Redemption Island
Krista and Matt are having a beach prayer before they go to battle. Matt wins yet again and Krista presents him with her luxury item bible. Former first God Lady Andrea who went on Stub Hub and got a front row seat for the event for only $ 29.95 took notice of this. Evidently even God can have a jealous girlfriend.
(Side note here: For those of you who are religious and take offense to this type of writing, head to Yonkers and have lunch with Ralph)
Zapatera Day 15
Wow, talk about editing and picking out one player to kick to the curb. This week everyone piled on Sarita. Had MattGod been at camp he probably would have thrown his bible at her. They get on her about everything from being a queen to brushing her teeth with a stick. Actually I would have liked to have seen her brush her teeth with a stick "cause I hain't ever seen such a thing in my hole entire life li hood."
Back at Ometepe
Phillip pulls out the guns and complains to Ashley and Natalie that they aren't doing anything. Calling a spade, a spade. Rob says exactly what I would have said, "I'm not going to tell them to do anything because when it comes time to vote for a winner, that will work against them." Of course he gathers himself and realizes he has to rally the troups before the challenge.
Zapatera
Stephanie has realization that if she wants to have a chance then she has to kiss butt of people she hates. I can really understand why she liked Russell so much, I am thinking in real life they are brother and sister.
Challenge
Bungi Cords, balls and lacrosse sticks. Ah, he said balls. Yes folks as I said last week any challenge involving blindfolds is a lot of fun. Well any challenge involving hard objects that you can swing at opponents is also a favorite. This thing was over early. Zapetera didn't figure out that Natalie was sending the ball short and Grant kept coming up and catching it, four of five times to be exact. Ometepe wins 5 to 0. Ometepe goes on reward and there is another clue and we get to see Phillip play his macho man role to the camera..........................
Zapatera
Dave wants to keep Stephanie because she has more heart than Sarita and they need to win challenges. Stephanie starts sucking up to Julie. Julie makes the best point of the week, "We can keep Stephanie who has spunk but I don't trust her or we can keep Sarita who is weak but we can trust."
Tribal Council
Dave mentions that the tribe has changed since throwing a challenge a few days back. Really? Ralph comments that had he been the one shooting the balls the outcome would have been different. Really? I think last week Dave said the same thing about putting the puzzle together instead of Stephanie when they lost. Dave said Sarita didn't want to be a goat this week so she sat out. Dave is getting pretty good at passing around blame. Stephanie says Sarita was shsking in her boots when they saw what the challenge was. I'm sorry Stephanie but I need to correct you here, Sarita was shaking her size 6 and half Reeboks. Tempers were running high so Jeff called for a tribe intervention with Dr. Phil, everybody laughed, everybody cried but still not one person made the most obvious observation. How is it that most of the people in the tribe say Stephanie is a stronger challenge players when last week she couldn't solve the puzzle and this week she was in the challenge while Sarita sat out and they still lost? Doesn't make much sense to me.
Stephanie gets voted to go see God and his new bible.
Next Week on Survivor.
Tempers start to flare. WOW, good need something to happen.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Dude where's your underwear?
A couple of house cleaning items.
Richard Hatch is going back to Federal Prison because he can't seem to pay his taxes from his winning the first Survivor ever. With penalties and interest he now owes more than he originally won. Or course he is now appearing on Celebrity Apprentice so his jail time I guess will have to wait until Donald Trump fires him. Really? Donald Trump actually considered hiring a fat naked guy who doesn't pay his taxes?
Survivor
Survivor has been picked up for two more seasons. Hopefully and I cross my fingers and hold my breath while I say this, hopefully it won't entail any allstars this time around.
P is for Phillip and his pink underwear
Okay I am going to digress for a moment. We were led to believe that the people showed up with the clothes on their back only. Yeah I can believe it seeing what Rob and Russell were wearing and even Phillip and his pink underwear. It is sort of strange though that the younger girls all were wearing their bikini's underneath. Yeah, not like someone told them to put their bikini's on underneath their clothes before they left their hotel. Yeah, wouldn't be possible in tv land.
Ometepe Day 11
The tribe was all turning in for a long summer's nap when we hear Phillip say he will be cuddling up next to Rob. Rob wants to make sure that "Phillip is wearing his underwear." Line of the season so far.
Zapatera
Steve said the attitude is high with the strong six and that Stephanie and Krista are next to go. So now my first question is, if you are so strong then why do you let Krista and Stephanie go together to redemption island to watch the challenge between Matt and Kristina? You want them within eye contact so why not send one of them and one of you? Just sayin'. Stephanie wants to tell the two from the other tribe who attend the challenge that her and Krista are ready to flip. That is exactly why you don't let those two go together. Ometepe meanwhile send Rob and Grant and Stephanie of course tells one of the best players of all time that they are ready to flip. Matt wins the Redemption Island challenge for the third time sending Kristina home for good. At this point my feeling is Stephanie is playing for her Survivor life and her friend is..........what is she doing......... oh yeah watching Stephanie play for her Survivor life. Krista has to be now considered one of the worst ten players of alltime because she doesn't do crap.
Ometepe Day 12
Phillip is trying to make inroads with the women but they all rebuff him with the exception of MattGod's best friend Andrea. Yes, MattGod is still alive in this game and people should now recognize he was won three in a row and if he comes back he will have a huge friend and maybe two including Phillip. Survivor is always about making smart moves and avoiding stupid moves. People should realize that getting rid of Andrea needs to happen before it's too late.
Zapatera
Krista says since Russell left there is no strategy. Actually Krista, you put all your eggs in one basket with Russell and as I have said each and every season, you are a person who had no plan B. Mike thinks Krista and Stephanie are no problem but Julie is nervous about them.
Challenge
Blindfolds and Maze
I always love it when they bring out the blindfolds because three things happen. First, you find out how well someone can give directions. Secondly, you find out how well people can follow directions. Third and most importantly, it is so damned funny watching people run headlong into immovable object, it's a knee slapper everytime.
Ometepe wins and then of course Zaptera complains about Stephanie not being able to solve the puzzle. Of course Dave steps up to the plate saying he should have been the person solving the puzzle. Dude, "Shut up right now." This is the best thing that could have happened to you. You have someone not in your alliance that everybody is bitching about and yet you can't shut up about it. Not only that but you start bitching to Sarita who is in your alliance. This is how the damn starts to break a little at a time. You know Sarita heard it and you know your alliance will remember what you said in the future if it comes down to voting out you or someone else. It is always the little things that people remember.
Tribal Council
Krista does make a funny comment that the power six are like the Brady Bunch going camping. I will forever be in debt to anyone who uses a Brady Bunch reference in a comment on television. So in one of the most predictable votes of all time, Krista gets sent to Redemption Island. One thing stands out here and don't forget this. Stephanie and Krista both voted for Steve. Dude hasn't been a player in this game to this point and for some reason they voted for a guy who hasn't had a presence in this game. I think's that foreshadowing on the power six. That tells me he is the sixth person in a six person alliance. For an ex-NFL player, he ain't done much.
Tonight on Survivor
The tribes get to change their underwear for the first time this season. Phillip changes with Rob, Dave changes with Steve................................Oh I just kill myself sometimes.
Richard Hatch is going back to Federal Prison because he can't seem to pay his taxes from his winning the first Survivor ever. With penalties and interest he now owes more than he originally won. Or course he is now appearing on Celebrity Apprentice so his jail time I guess will have to wait until Donald Trump fires him. Really? Donald Trump actually considered hiring a fat naked guy who doesn't pay his taxes?
Survivor
Survivor has been picked up for two more seasons. Hopefully and I cross my fingers and hold my breath while I say this, hopefully it won't entail any allstars this time around.
P is for Phillip and his pink underwear
Okay I am going to digress for a moment. We were led to believe that the people showed up with the clothes on their back only. Yeah I can believe it seeing what Rob and Russell were wearing and even Phillip and his pink underwear. It is sort of strange though that the younger girls all were wearing their bikini's underneath. Yeah, not like someone told them to put their bikini's on underneath their clothes before they left their hotel. Yeah, wouldn't be possible in tv land.
Ometepe Day 11
The tribe was all turning in for a long summer's nap when we hear Phillip say he will be cuddling up next to Rob. Rob wants to make sure that "Phillip is wearing his underwear." Line of the season so far.
Zapatera
Steve said the attitude is high with the strong six and that Stephanie and Krista are next to go. So now my first question is, if you are so strong then why do you let Krista and Stephanie go together to redemption island to watch the challenge between Matt and Kristina? You want them within eye contact so why not send one of them and one of you? Just sayin'. Stephanie wants to tell the two from the other tribe who attend the challenge that her and Krista are ready to flip. That is exactly why you don't let those two go together. Ometepe meanwhile send Rob and Grant and Stephanie of course tells one of the best players of all time that they are ready to flip. Matt wins the Redemption Island challenge for the third time sending Kristina home for good. At this point my feeling is Stephanie is playing for her Survivor life and her friend is..........what is she doing......... oh yeah watching Stephanie play for her Survivor life. Krista has to be now considered one of the worst ten players of alltime because she doesn't do crap.
Ometepe Day 12
Phillip is trying to make inroads with the women but they all rebuff him with the exception of MattGod's best friend Andrea. Yes, MattGod is still alive in this game and people should now recognize he was won three in a row and if he comes back he will have a huge friend and maybe two including Phillip. Survivor is always about making smart moves and avoiding stupid moves. People should realize that getting rid of Andrea needs to happen before it's too late.
Zapatera
Krista says since Russell left there is no strategy. Actually Krista, you put all your eggs in one basket with Russell and as I have said each and every season, you are a person who had no plan B. Mike thinks Krista and Stephanie are no problem but Julie is nervous about them.
Challenge
Blindfolds and Maze
I always love it when they bring out the blindfolds because three things happen. First, you find out how well someone can give directions. Secondly, you find out how well people can follow directions. Third and most importantly, it is so damned funny watching people run headlong into immovable object, it's a knee slapper everytime.
Ometepe wins and then of course Zaptera complains about Stephanie not being able to solve the puzzle. Of course Dave steps up to the plate saying he should have been the person solving the puzzle. Dude, "Shut up right now." This is the best thing that could have happened to you. You have someone not in your alliance that everybody is bitching about and yet you can't shut up about it. Not only that but you start bitching to Sarita who is in your alliance. This is how the damn starts to break a little at a time. You know Sarita heard it and you know your alliance will remember what you said in the future if it comes down to voting out you or someone else. It is always the little things that people remember.
Tribal Council
Krista does make a funny comment that the power six are like the Brady Bunch going camping. I will forever be in debt to anyone who uses a Brady Bunch reference in a comment on television. So in one of the most predictable votes of all time, Krista gets sent to Redemption Island. One thing stands out here and don't forget this. Stephanie and Krista both voted for Steve. Dude hasn't been a player in this game to this point and for some reason they voted for a guy who hasn't had a presence in this game. I think's that foreshadowing on the power six. That tells me he is the sixth person in a six person alliance. For an ex-NFL player, he ain't done much.
Tonight on Survivor
The tribes get to change their underwear for the first time this season. Phillip changes with Rob, Dave changes with Steve................................Oh I just kill myself sometimes.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Goobers, Cinderella and Bitch Slapping
So Russell gets sent to Redemption Island and immediately says he wants to bitch slap everyone at camp. Someday someone is going to have to show me how to bitch slap someone because everyone always talks about it but I never see anyone actually do it.
Russell then says he likes Matt and would cheer him on if he wasn't playing the game himself.
Ometepe: Cinderella and his red pants
How is it that a grown man can be tough, act tough but just not look the part of being tough when he is wearing red underwear? Phillip pisses off his tribemates when he gets up early and starts sweeping around their hut? Dumb question here, what the hell what he sweeping? They are on an island aren't they? My third question would be why didn't sponsor Home Depot just give them a shop vac? Just askin'.
Zapatera
Stephanie says she and Krista are stuck with a bunch of "Goobers." For those of you who don't know, goober is slang for silly people. Ralph then does what most other survivor players do who find an idol, he tells the people in his alliance. So now the hidden immunity idol is only hidden to other two people in their tribe and the people in Ometepe. The rest of the free world now knows which means soon other people will know.
Redemption Island
Phillip and Kristina go to watch the challenge for Ometepe and Ralph and Sarita go for Zapatera. Matt wins the domino battle and Russell is devestated to say the least. Russell says his team lost the challenge on purpose to vote him out. Ralph then brags to Russel that he found the idol then back down. Of course Zapatera no knows Ralph has the idol so the only two people in the free world who don't know now are Stephanie and Krista.
Ometepe
Phillip wants to earn favor with Rob so he spill the beans about everything he knows. Dude, slow down a little. As I said before for a former secret agent, dude can't keep a secret. I am guessing he was an undercover agent they stationed in Wisconsin to protect their borders from illegal Canadians entering the USA. Those ruthless pricks only come to the USA for cheaper beer and to watch baseball.
The Craftsman Tool Challenge
Yes folks Sears, Home Depot and St. Michael's Church of God, Mary, Joseph and frickin/ donkeysponsored this challenge. Take a crow bar open a box, take a shovel to dig for a hatchet, cut a log, release a saw to cut a door into a wall of boards and untie a hammer to hammer a nail. Zapatera wins. Okay so there wasn't a dog walking challenge but you get the jest. They win a feast also.
Zapatera
Mike says he hasn't thought about sex since, well since he said he hadn't thought about sex. I haven't thought about sex since, about five minutes ago. And let me tell you something else, everybody watching (INCLUDING YOU) started thinking about sex when he said that. Yes you did.
Ometepe
Phillip gives his daily state of tribe address and again pisses everybody off when he says everyone put forth a good effort. Rob plays a little poker and says to Kristina, "Someone may have the idol," and he is exactly right because the someone is Rob. Split the Vote Rob wants 3 vote for Kristina and 2 for Phillip.
Tribal Council
Kristina is nervous when asked if she is nervous because she doesn't have much of an alliance. My goodness women its like day 12 and the only guy, and let me repear that, the only person you have any type of alliance with is red pants Phillip. Really? Phillip talks about being a sheppard this week, a change from last week when he was a lion I believe?
Kristina goes down 4-3.
Next Week.
Phillip decides he wants to be a duck billed platypus.
Is it just me moment.
Is it just me or is Phillip, Julie, Stephanie and Rob about the only people with any personality on this season? We are like five weeks into season and half of the people have done nothing. Just sayin'
Russell then says he likes Matt and would cheer him on if he wasn't playing the game himself.
Ometepe: Cinderella and his red pants
How is it that a grown man can be tough, act tough but just not look the part of being tough when he is wearing red underwear? Phillip pisses off his tribemates when he gets up early and starts sweeping around their hut? Dumb question here, what the hell what he sweeping? They are on an island aren't they? My third question would be why didn't sponsor Home Depot just give them a shop vac? Just askin'.
Zapatera
Stephanie says she and Krista are stuck with a bunch of "Goobers." For those of you who don't know, goober is slang for silly people. Ralph then does what most other survivor players do who find an idol, he tells the people in his alliance. So now the hidden immunity idol is only hidden to other two people in their tribe and the people in Ometepe. The rest of the free world now knows which means soon other people will know.
Redemption Island
Phillip and Kristina go to watch the challenge for Ometepe and Ralph and Sarita go for Zapatera. Matt wins the domino battle and Russell is devestated to say the least. Russell says his team lost the challenge on purpose to vote him out. Ralph then brags to Russel that he found the idol then back down. Of course Zapatera no knows Ralph has the idol so the only two people in the free world who don't know now are Stephanie and Krista.
Ometepe
Phillip wants to earn favor with Rob so he spill the beans about everything he knows. Dude, slow down a little. As I said before for a former secret agent, dude can't keep a secret. I am guessing he was an undercover agent they stationed in Wisconsin to protect their borders from illegal Canadians entering the USA. Those ruthless pricks only come to the USA for cheaper beer and to watch baseball.
The Craftsman Tool Challenge
Yes folks Sears, Home Depot and St. Michael's Church of God, Mary, Joseph and frickin/ donkeysponsored this challenge. Take a crow bar open a box, take a shovel to dig for a hatchet, cut a log, release a saw to cut a door into a wall of boards and untie a hammer to hammer a nail. Zapatera wins. Okay so there wasn't a dog walking challenge but you get the jest. They win a feast also.
Zapatera
Mike says he hasn't thought about sex since, well since he said he hadn't thought about sex. I haven't thought about sex since, about five minutes ago. And let me tell you something else, everybody watching (INCLUDING YOU) started thinking about sex when he said that. Yes you did.
Ometepe
Phillip gives his daily state of tribe address and again pisses everybody off when he says everyone put forth a good effort. Rob plays a little poker and says to Kristina, "Someone may have the idol," and he is exactly right because the someone is Rob. Split the Vote Rob wants 3 vote for Kristina and 2 for Phillip.
Tribal Council
Kristina is nervous when asked if she is nervous because she doesn't have much of an alliance. My goodness women its like day 12 and the only guy, and let me repear that, the only person you have any type of alliance with is red pants Phillip. Really? Phillip talks about being a sheppard this week, a change from last week when he was a lion I believe?
Kristina goes down 4-3.
Next Week.
Phillip decides he wants to be a duck billed platypus.
Is it just me moment.
Is it just me or is Phillip, Julie, Stephanie and Rob about the only people with any personality on this season? We are like five weeks into season and half of the people have done nothing. Just sayin'
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Pus filled sacs and me.
Redemption Island
Matt shows up on Redemption to meet FWAN-CHES-KWA. She was surprised not to see Russell. Rob loves it because Phillip is a soldier and Kristina had to use her idol in the Split the Vote Rob strategy.
Dual
Ometepe sends Andrea and Ashley to watch and Steve and Dan go for the other tribe.
Matt wins and FWAN-CHES-KWA swowy wides her horsey into the sunset.
Rob starts out this week by announcing that Andrea will go back to Matt if he makes it back into the game. Just like Brad Pitt would go back with Jennifer Aniston if Angelina Jolie suddenlty got weird. Rob starts kissing Andrea's butt and telling her she's not going anywhere which leads me to believe she makes the final or they wouldn't be showing this. She knows that Christina and Phillip are next and deep down she is pissed. She breaks a small stick in half to prove her point.
Zapatera
Russell is looking for the idol, no kidding. I am beginning to think that his real job in life is looking for things. I'm thinking the USA send him overseas he finds Osama Bin Laden in about half an hour. He can't find it so Stephanie pretends she has a fake idol and some in the tribe buy it. Steve then points out that Russell has and I quote, "Pus filled sacs under his arms where he shaved the hair off." That's what I call wholesome family television viewing. The tribe when decides to throw the challenge so they can vote off Russell.
Challenge
Ometepe wins the spit, rolling balls and puzzle challenge. (I'll wait while you ponder that last sentence) Russell thinks his tribe threw the challenge and he correct. Back at Ometepe Rob finds the hidden immunity idol clue in a chair that Phillip was sitting on. I do love Rob's reaction after he finds the clue, "It basically says, the idol is somewhere."
Zapaters
Stephanie is working on Julie to change her vote. I am thinking to myself, don't do it Julie, they will cook your butt and Russell isn't a good person to align yourself with. Stephanie gives on plea that Russell is the player who has played before and you need to align with him. Actually the opposite is true.
Russell goes to Redemption Island.
Matt shows up on Redemption to meet FWAN-CHES-KWA. She was surprised not to see Russell. Rob loves it because Phillip is a soldier and Kristina had to use her idol in the Split the Vote Rob strategy.
Dual
Ometepe sends Andrea and Ashley to watch and Steve and Dan go for the other tribe.
Matt wins and FWAN-CHES-KWA swowy wides her horsey into the sunset.
Rob starts out this week by announcing that Andrea will go back to Matt if he makes it back into the game. Just like Brad Pitt would go back with Jennifer Aniston if Angelina Jolie suddenlty got weird. Rob starts kissing Andrea's butt and telling her she's not going anywhere which leads me to believe she makes the final or they wouldn't be showing this. She knows that Christina and Phillip are next and deep down she is pissed. She breaks a small stick in half to prove her point.
Zapatera
Russell is looking for the idol, no kidding. I am beginning to think that his real job in life is looking for things. I'm thinking the USA send him overseas he finds Osama Bin Laden in about half an hour. He can't find it so Stephanie pretends she has a fake idol and some in the tribe buy it. Steve then points out that Russell has and I quote, "Pus filled sacs under his arms where he shaved the hair off." That's what I call wholesome family television viewing. The tribe when decides to throw the challenge so they can vote off Russell.
Challenge
Ometepe wins the spit, rolling balls and puzzle challenge. (I'll wait while you ponder that last sentence) Russell thinks his tribe threw the challenge and he correct. Back at Ometepe Rob finds the hidden immunity idol clue in a chair that Phillip was sitting on. I do love Rob's reaction after he finds the clue, "It basically says, the idol is somewhere."
Zapaters
Stephanie is working on Julie to change her vote. I am thinking to myself, don't do it Julie, they will cook your butt and Russell isn't a good person to align yourself with. Stephanie gives on plea that Russell is the player who has played before and you need to align with him. Actually the opposite is true.
Russell goes to Redemption Island.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Reality Shows and Charlie Sheen
The other day I was driving to work and the radio station I was listening to was talking about Charlie Sheen and Dancing With the Stars and it got me to thinking about a couple of things. First, how many reality stars are there really? I did some research through andypedia and I am pretty sure there are a grand total of about 173 reality stars. Of course on Playboy's The Girls Next Door I counted Kendra, Holly and Bridget as six and if you have to ask what I mean by that, stop reading now and go put your finger into light socket. Actually you might want to put your tongue in the socket to get the full effect. There is some cross over because people like Rob and Amber who did Survivor, The Amazing Race and Rob and Ambers Wedding which I think about six people in Montana watched overall, count as one or two depending on what high school you attended. Of course there is Joan Rivers and her daughter who both did the Apprentice and their show called, "How to *&^% up your daughter by having her on your reality show."
Then I got to thinking, if you take people and put them into different shows much like a spinoff, why can't you combine reality shows. Here are some ideas.
Dancing With the Stars and The Biggest Loser would now be known as:
Dancing With the Biggest Loser
It would entail stories of prom night dancing with that big loser of a guy you used to date. (With apologies to those of you who married your prom date or were impregnated by him and he left you and later became what? A reality star or course.)
Hell's Kitchen and Survivor:
Hell's Survivor
Gordon Ramsey bitches at the Survivors because they can't cook a coconut and monkey nuts properly.
The Dog Whisperer meets AX Men
AX Dogs
Cesar Milan trims the butts of dogs with ugly faces by using a chain saw and later teaches them to walk backwards.
Two and Half Men - Charlie Sheen's Life
Two and a Half Men Meet Charlie Sheen
It would be a show about a nice guy who makes a ton of money, drinks a lot and pays for sex. Wouldn't that be truly amazing if your job was to play yourself on a television show and get paid a shit pot of money to portray yourself on a television show and it wasn't even a reality show?
Just sayin'
Then I got to thinking, if you take people and put them into different shows much like a spinoff, why can't you combine reality shows. Here are some ideas.
Dancing With the Stars and The Biggest Loser would now be known as:
Dancing With the Biggest Loser
It would entail stories of prom night dancing with that big loser of a guy you used to date. (With apologies to those of you who married your prom date or were impregnated by him and he left you and later became what? A reality star or course.)
Hell's Kitchen and Survivor:
Hell's Survivor
Gordon Ramsey bitches at the Survivors because they can't cook a coconut and monkey nuts properly.
The Dog Whisperer meets AX Men
AX Dogs
Cesar Milan trims the butts of dogs with ugly faces by using a chain saw and later teaches them to walk backwards.
Two and Half Men - Charlie Sheen's Life
Two and a Half Men Meet Charlie Sheen
It would be a show about a nice guy who makes a ton of money, drinks a lot and pays for sex. Wouldn't that be truly amazing if your job was to play yourself on a television show and get paid a shit pot of money to portray yourself on a television show and it wasn't even a reality show?
Just sayin'
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