God gets a bible

I have been remiss in not relaying any letters this year.

Dear Blog Guy,
Why ain't you printed any letters this year?
Ralph Cradem - Yonkers, NY

Dear Ralph,
Cause I ain't had any worth writin' about you comi pinko. By the way your name is Ralph? My favorite Ralph of all time is Ralph Wiggum of the Simpson's. Are you two related you nose pickin', booger eatin' mal content? And where is Yonkers located?
I am guessing it's halfway between your mom's house and your favorite diner called EAT'S.

Zapatera Day 13
Steve asks Stephanie why she voted for him at tribal council last night. We get the usual and most often overused answer in the history of Survivor, "It's nother personnel." Did I not say in my last post to watch out for this, didn't I? To remind you, yes I did.
OmetepeDay 13
Why is it that everyone thinks Phillip is nuts? Because he is. It's funny how people like Ashley make fun of Phillip and his actions. Ashley tells this to a national television audience as we watch her trim the underarm hair of another girl. Now that's perfectly acceptable behavior. Phillip asks the girls to help with the fire and they agree to help. Apparently they agreed to help each other trim body hair and not keep the fire going. Phillip should realize that asking Ashley and Natalie to help with the fire is like asking a six year to do his homework while watching television, their attention span is focused on Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Redemption Island
Krista and Matt are having a beach prayer before they go to battle. Matt wins yet again and Krista presents him with her luxury item bible. Former first God Lady Andrea who went on Stub Hub and got a front row seat for the event for only $ 29.95 took notice of this. Evidently even God can have a jealous girlfriend.
(Side note here: For those of you who are religious and take offense to this type of writing, head to Yonkers and have lunch with Ralph)
Zapatera Day 15
Wow, talk about editing and picking out one player to kick to the curb. This week everyone piled on Sarita. Had MattGod been at camp he probably would have thrown his bible at her. They get on her about everything from being a queen to brushing her teeth with a stick. Actually I would have liked to have seen her brush her teeth with a stick "cause I hain't ever seen such a thing in my hole entire life li hood."
Back at Ometepe
Phillip pulls out the guns and complains to Ashley and Natalie that they aren't doing anything. Calling a spade, a spade. Rob says exactly what I would have said, "I'm not going to tell them to do anything because when it comes time to vote for a winner, that will work against them." Of course he gathers himself and realizes he has to rally the troups before the challenge.
Zapatera
Stephanie has realization that if she wants to have a chance then she has to kiss butt of people she hates. I can really understand why she liked Russell so much, I am thinking in real life they are brother and sister.
Challenge
Bungi Cords, balls and lacrosse sticks. Ah, he said balls. Yes folks as I said last week any challenge involving blindfolds is a lot of fun. Well any challenge involving hard objects that you can swing at opponents is also a favorite. This thing was over early. Zapetera didn't figure out that Natalie was sending the ball short and Grant kept coming up and catching it, four of five times to be exact. Ometepe wins 5 to 0. Ometepe goes on reward and there is another clue and we get to see Phillip play his macho man role to the camera..........................
Zapatera
Dave wants to keep Stephanie because she has more heart than Sarita and they need to win challenges. Stephanie starts sucking up to Julie. Julie makes the best point of the week, "We can keep Stephanie who has spunk but I don't trust her or we can keep Sarita who is weak but we can trust."
Tribal Council
Dave mentions that the tribe has changed since throwing a challenge a few days back. Really? Ralph comments that had he been the one shooting the balls the outcome would have been different. Really? I think last week Dave said the same thing about putting the puzzle together instead of Stephanie when they lost. Dave said Sarita didn't want to be a goat this week so she sat out. Dave is getting pretty good at passing around blame. Stephanie says Sarita was shsking in her boots when they saw what the challenge was. I'm sorry Stephanie but I need to correct you here, Sarita was shaking her size 6 and half Reeboks. Tempers were running high so Jeff called for a tribe intervention with Dr. Phil, everybody laughed, everybody cried but still not one person made the most obvious observation. How is it that most of the people in the tribe say Stephanie is a stronger challenge players when last week she couldn't solve the puzzle and this week she was in the challenge while Sarita sat out and they still lost? Doesn't make much sense to me.
Stephanie gets voted to go see God and his new bible.
Next Week on Survivor.
Tempers start to flare. WOW, good need something to happen.