Goobers, Cinderella and Bitch Slapping

So Russell gets sent to Redemption Island and immediately says he wants to bitch slap everyone at camp. Someday someone is going to have to show me how to bitch slap someone because everyone always talks about it but I never see anyone actually do it.
Russell then says he likes Matt and would cheer him on if he wasn't playing the game himself.
Ometepe: Cinderella and his red pants
How is it that a grown man can be tough, act tough but just not look the part of being tough when he is wearing red underwear? Phillip pisses off his tribemates when he gets up early and starts sweeping around their hut? Dumb question here, what the hell what he sweeping? They are on an island aren't they? My third question would be why didn't sponsor Home Depot just give them a shop vac? Just askin'.
Zapatera
Stephanie says she and Krista are stuck with a bunch of "Goobers." For those of you who don't know, goober is slang for silly people. Ralph then does what most other survivor players do who find an idol, he tells the people in his alliance. So now the hidden immunity idol is only hidden to other two people in their tribe and the people in Ometepe. The rest of the free world now knows which means soon other people will know.
Redemption Island
Phillip and Kristina go to watch the challenge for Ometepe and Ralph and Sarita go for Zapatera. Matt wins the domino battle and Russell is devestated to say the least. Russell says his team lost the challenge on purpose to vote him out. Ralph then brags to Russel that he found the idol then back down. Of course Zapatera no knows Ralph has the idol so the only two people in the free world who don't know now are Stephanie and Krista.
Ometepe
Phillip wants to earn favor with Rob so he spill the beans about everything he knows. Dude, slow down a little. As I said before for a former secret agent, dude can't keep a secret. I am guessing he was an undercover agent they stationed in Wisconsin to protect their borders from illegal Canadians entering the USA. Those ruthless pricks only come to the USA for cheaper beer and to watch baseball.
The Craftsman Tool Challenge
Yes folks Sears, Home Depot and St. Michael's Church of God, Mary, Joseph and frickin/ donkeysponsored this challenge. Take a crow bar open a box, take a shovel to dig for a hatchet, cut a log, release a saw to cut a door into a wall of boards and untie a hammer to hammer a nail. Zapatera wins. Okay so there wasn't a dog walking challenge but you get the jest. They win a feast also.
Zapatera
Mike says he hasn't thought about sex since, well since he said he hadn't thought about sex. I haven't thought about sex since, about five minutes ago. And let me tell you something else, everybody watching (INCLUDING YOU) started thinking about sex when he said that. Yes you did.
Ometepe
Phillip gives his daily state of tribe address and again pisses everybody off when he says everyone put forth a good effort. Rob plays a little poker and says to Kristina, "Someone may have the idol," and he is exactly right because the someone is Rob. Split the Vote Rob wants 3 vote for Kristina and 2 for Phillip.
Tribal Council
Kristina is nervous when asked if she is nervous because she doesn't have much of an alliance. My goodness women its like day 12 and the only guy, and let me repear that, the only person you have any type of alliance with is red pants Phillip. Really? Phillip talks about being a sheppard this week, a change from last week when he was a lion I believe?
Kristina goes down 4-3.
Next Week.
Phillip decides he wants to be a duck billed platypus.
Is it just me moment.
Is it just me or is Phillip, Julie, Stephanie and Rob about the only people with any personality on this season? We are like five weeks into season and half of the people have done nothing. Just sayin'