Apologies and Mormons

I need to start by apologizing to my third grade teacher Mrs. Banks. Back in 1968 I was involved in a pudding fight in the lunch room at Helena Elementary School. It would be easy to blame other people but our 35th class reunion is coming up in 2013, I think it is high time to let bygones be bygones. I also need to explain that Mrs. Banks back then was about five foot nothing and weighed about 300 pounds. Even though she wasn't very tall, I found out that day that she had incredible paddle speed and a nice follow through Had the designated hitter been in effect in baseball back then I think she would have been batting third for the Yankees. So to Mrs. Banks, I am truly sorry that someone else started the pudding fight that I was involved with.
Savaii
Did I call it? Ozzie is snuggling up to yet another girl, yet again, this time Elyse. Have you not learned anything from your past discretions of focusing on the girl and not the game? If memory serves she was a contestant in the Miss America contest a few years back. Don't go down that road again Oz. Have you ever seen the movie Tin Cup where Kevin Costner continues to shoot his ball at the hole on the 17th green even though after five or six attempts it continues to roll into the water?
He loses the tournament but finally makes the shot. Same thing will happen, yet again to Oz Boy.
Upolo
Brandon apologizes to everyone about everthing. Mikayla listens to his apology but reminds us that Brandon's uncle is the terrible Russell from season's past. I do like Mikayla but she has got move on now. Oh by the way if I was dating Mikayla I would be the most popular guy in the world. Ya know why, because my girlfriend plays football in her underwear. Your girlfriends could have piloted a rocket to the sun, your girlfriends could be a doctor yadda, yadda, yadda, my girlfriend plays football in her underwear. That's how guys are. Oh yeah, back to the game. Brandon then tells Edna that she is the sixth person in a five person alliance. Edna is about two classes short of being a doctor (Not a girl who plays football in her underwear, let's not get carried away here) and Edna is very smart, she knows she is in trouble.
Savaii
They get swimsuits, hooray.
Redemption Island
Brandon apologizes to Christine for voting her out. Christine beats Papa Bear in toss across and stays alive.
Upolo
Edna talks a lot. Edna talks more. Edna laughs. Edna laughs more. Edna annoys Stacey.
Enda is being a dick. (Sorry, just had to throw that in) Speaking of Stacey,..............um...........yeah.
Savaii
Jim and Cochran hatching a plan to get rid of Elyse. Good idea, your tribe in becoming the second coming of Rob's plan last season and Ozzie is a big copy cat for doing that again.
Challenge
Weight Lifting and Chickens
It comes down to Stacey and Dawn the Mormon. Dawn wins the power lifting challenge by beating Stacey. Boths girls used their butts as much as they could. I am guessing the Mormons prayer meetings go something like this. Dear Lord, (Everybody stretch) we thank thee (And get those arms above your head high and hold for a three count) for the lovely weather today (And bend at your knees and squat) and for the lovely company (And back up again, hold those bibles high now).........................
I know, I know, the cards and letters will be flowing in this week from the Catholics and Lutherans.
Dear Andy,
We pray as much if not more than the mormons.
Sister Ethel Jones / St. Michaels Church
Pre-Tribal Council
Stacey doesn't know where she stands in the group. Really? Twelve days into this game and you don't talk to anyone or interact with anyone. I would think you know exactly where you stand.
Tribal Council
Um, Stacey gets voted out. The tribe stands up to give her a hug and she says, "Nope it would just be fake." Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd Cut. Bitterness from someone who has no clue how to play this game. I just read her profile, she is a funeral director which makes sense. She never talks to her customers either.
Next Week.
Don't call me Benjamin. Coach speaks up.