School Lunches

After watching last night's episode I got to thinking, wouldn't it be great if you could just send your kids to school and have them rip meat off a carcass and start chewing? Disease or not it would make lunch period a lot more interesting.
Upolu
Will Jim, Harvard and Dawn really go after the Oz-man and Elyse?
Redemption (I hate everybody) Island
Stacey and Christine tell us they hate everyone and everyone is fake. I even got a text from Stacey which said, "Andy you suck too." What did I do? Stacey tells us she is going to spill the beans about Coach and Albert. Oh yeah, she also says she is going to tell everyone that Coach doesn't like being called Benjamin.
Savaii
Brandon cries again and we are reminded that he doesn't want people to think of him in the same light as his uncle Russell. For the love of God man, could you tell us something new next week like your mom sells Avon or your dad grows pot in his backyard, something, anything new.
Redemption Island Challenge
Catching tennis balls rolling down a chute. I hope I never have to do this challenge because I think I would get sick concentrating on three or four balls going in circles. Prior to the challenge Stacey comes through and tells those people watching: Dawn, Whitney, Albert and Mikayla that Coach is in charge and don't trust him. Stacey then loses the challenge, mounts her broom and flies back to the castle to plan her attack on the people of earth with the Winged Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.
Savaii
Albert and Mikayla tell the group about Stacey's outburst and Coach steps up and says: "Anybody calls me Benjamin and I will get pissed." Coach, don't be that guy. I respect you Coach but sooner or later I will call you Benjamin especially if you tell me not to because, that't how I role. Never tell anybody what sets you off, you know why, because they will do exactly what you told them not to do. You tell me you hate Bud Light, guess who is getting two cases of Bud Light for a Christmas present?
Upolu
Jim, Harvard and Dawn are planning their takeover against the Oz-man. Cochran notices that Ozzie is a provider but that he is, "Sort of a lazy ass." Okay class, what have I been saying? Ozzie hasn't changed one bit from his last two appearances on Survivor. Here is his MO. He comes out as a tough competitor in challenges, he collects fish, he finds a girl he likes and..................keeps his hair combed and looks good without a shirt. The only difference between Ozzie and me is, he gets all the girls, keeps his hair combed and looks good without a shirt. Other than that you could never tell us apart. His concentration is on the girl laying in the hammock, not the game. Some people never change. You never see him talking strategy with anybody, he just assumes that since he is the Great Oz, everyone will do what he says. Oh yes, he did make a huge mistake that Jim picked up when he said Coach should get rid of Albert on the other team. Basically you want to be the only stud in the tribe to win the women over but no strategy in winning the game.
Savaii
Finally, someone is looking for the idol in this tribe. Sophie, Albert and Coach work together and Coach finds it. I think this was a great move on their part because they were looking for the idol together, as a group. By the way, I think Sophie is going to go a long way in this game and could win it. She has some very intelligent comments and if she gains a little confidence, she could win. Oh yeah anyone notice the idol was found "In a hole in a tree." Why don't you just hide it in someone's shoe and give the clue, "You will find the idol in something you put your foot into." That would limit your choices to a pile of crap, your mouth or your shoe. Can we have someone other than Mrs. Jacobs 2nd grade class in Dover Delaware give clues on how to find the idol and where it is hidden? DAH, the idol is in something you carry your books home from school in? DAH, my mom's car? DAH, its under my arm? Oh, my bookbag.
Upolu
Ozzie says these people are becoming his tribe. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah about one minute before when Coach says, "We have this game by the balls."
Challenge
Grabbing meat by your mouth off a carcass of a pig and spitting into a tray. The team with the most meat after a time limit wins. Upolo wins by 2 ounces. I give Mikayla the gold medal here as even with her hands tied behind her back she manages to kneel down and grab a large chunk of meat off the groud and put it into the pan. That piece was every bit of two ounces. And of course as being the winning team they get to take the 20 pounds of meat, that each person already had in their mouths, back to camp to eat along with spices and other winnings. Cochran of course points out the threat of sharing diseases in sharing the meat that has been in everyones mouth. Dude, you have been living outside for twelve days, not having taken a bath, nor changing your underwear and cleaning your behind with whatever leaf is nearby and your are worried about the meat? Really? If you haven't contracted something by now, I don't think the meat is going to hurt you especially if you cook it first.
Upolu
Jim, Dawn and Cochran work their magic on Keith and Whitney. Keith and Whitney talk about not wanting to upset Ozzie so they will just vote for someone else and not Elyse. I love listening to two blondes talk to one another. Well the tornado is a mile down the road do you think we should go to the basement? I don't know, what do you think? Here is exactly why Keith and Whitney won't win, they are more worried about not upsetting Ozzie then winning the game.
Tribal Council
Elyse says something at tribal which simply sets her apart from others when she says about Cochran, "He is a hard worker but sometimes social graces and skills come into play." WTF? This isn't the Miss American pagent, it's Survivor. Elyse is sent packing and can't understand why people she trusted voted her out. Elyse, that's what you get for hanging out in a hammock with Oz-man. You assumed no one was ever going to vote for you.
Next Week
Coach is getting his fill of Brandon. Cochran calls Ozzie a crybaby. Ozzie announces to the group, "I am a free agent." I will say it again, Ozzie is a great povider, a womanizer, but has no clue how to play this game when push comes to shove, absolutely no strategy at all.