A Simple (Dumbass) Plan

Dear Andy,
What in thee hell was Jim saying to his tribe when he was screaming out directions during the challenge?
Leroy Pentz / Jackson, Mississippi

Leroy,
I haven't heard the phrase, "What in thee Hell," uttered since my grandpa died about thirty years, thanks for the memories. Jim was saying the same thing that Charlie Browns' teacher says each year on their holiday specials, "Waa, waa, waaaaa, waaaaa, waa, waa, waa." Clear as mud to me.
Andy
P.S. Hey Leroy, tell me you hang out with a guy named Russell who wears overalls, work boots and a t-shirt with an arrow pointing toward you that says, "I'm with Stupid."

Upolu
Edna is nervous because her name keeps coming up everyday when the tribe is talking about voting people out. Rick is concerned with Brandon, well with Brandon being Brandon. Coach attempts to keep a lid on the dis-oriente family, afterall his alliance consists of a lady who helps out during brain surgery and a guy who would probably benefit from brain surgery. Frontal Lobotomy anyone?
Redemption Island
Christine and Mikayla have to build a bridge with puzzle pieces and then dismantle the bridge and put the puzzle together. Oz and Cochran from Savaii and Albert and Sophie from Upolu watch as Christine stays alive the fifth consecutive challenge.
One thing to point out here, observer Albert was yelling directions to Mikayla. Now I like Mikayla but that ain't cool. Another thing, Christine may make her way back into this game, but she won't have any friends upon her return as she continues to be "A Stupid Bitch," according to Cochran.
Savaii
Ozzie hatches a plan that if his tribe loses then he wants his tribe to vote him off to go to Redemption Island to go against Christine in effort to break her winning streak. He thinks it might be the most iconic idea in the history of Survivor. I will re-visit what I think is maybe the most stupid idea in the history of Surivor, later in this rant. I need to digest my breakfast first.
Upolu
Coach hatches a plan for the group to go out and look for the hidden idol which he has already found. Coach then gets the group together to pray (The first prayer meeting of the night) for God's help in doing what you might ask? Praying for God's help in finding the idol that he has already found. It took Sophie all of about one second to find the praying uncomfortable for her because she and Albert know that Coach already has the idol. Throw in the fact that the two other people that Coach continues to preach honesty and intregity to think it is amazing that Coach finds the idol after his prayer. God be praised, ........ well sort of.
Challenge
Coach holds a second power prayer meeting prior to the challenge asking for God's help to keep the strong. They formed a circle, prayed and then broke the huddle with a loud, "Go God." As I have said before, whenever you put blindfolds on people to play a game, you can't help but have fun. One person yelling directions to two sets of blindfolded tribe mates through an obstacle course to bring back puzzle pieces. Don't you just love it when someone walks right into a post or beam, makes me laugh because its not me. Jim was doing a great job of yelling God knows what at his tribe mates on Savaii and they have a big lead until.....well until they put the smartest guy on the island, Cochran, in charge of the guide ropes. This is why you never let people like Bill Gates attempt to change the oil in his own car. The richest guy on the planet works with computers but if you hand him a oil filter wrench he becomes Bart Simpson, "Is this for tightening my nuts?" Upolu comes from behind to win and Oz Man goes nuts because his team lost. Upolu wins and Coach leads the team in a 3rd team prayer and thanks God for all the great movies Adam Sandler has provided through the years, "Go God."
The Simple (Dumbass) Plan
Ozzie convinces his tribe to vote him out. Yes folks because this was such a stupid idea I'm not even going to have a tribal council section this week. Several issues here. First, here is a guy who was blindsided and didn't play an hidden immunity idol in a season past and was eliminated. So this time instead of being blindsided he wants to be put on Redemption and go against a girl he considers a threat, why? Let someone else get dirty. Second, your tribe wants you to stay and get rid of one of the weakest players ever in Cochran which means you go from being in the top twelve to top eleven. Third, you consider Cochran to be a very weak player and you just gave him your idol which means, it ain't your idol anymore. And if I'm Cochran I am keeping it for myself if for nothing else, everyone has told me I suck. Take it to the merge and use it to your advantage. Fourth, you want to keep your tribe strong and if they lose another challege before the merge and you lose your challenge, one of the weakest players will use the idol and another strong player from your alliance will be lost. Fifth, if you lose on Redemption Island you finish 13th, you just lost a position. Sixth, you will go down as having made one of the most thought out worst decisions ever in Survivor History. Stupid is as stupid does. Oz Man, love you but you are playing this game stupid. Finally, you must lay blame on the tribe for letting this happen also because they are assuming the merge is coming. I think they just lost total control of this game.
Quote of the week
I can't take credit for the quote of the week but when Jim said, "If we vote Ozzie out then Dawn becomes our third guy and John Cochran is our fourth guy." Classic.