West by God Virginia

In flipping through the channels Sunday I came across this docu-drug-a-welfare-sleepwithyourcousin-mentary. If you want to visit this families' website simply put the following address into your web browser. The names have not been changed to protect the stupid.

http://wildandwonderfulwhites.com/

My Wonderful White Family Rant
This was the best "Willie Nelson, two front teeth, screw your cousin, no job, drinkin', snortin' cocaine, tap dancin', banjo playin', watchin' eleven years old smokin', pickup truck drivin', put your boobs away this is church, got married in Wal Mart, just got out of jail, dug my mom's own grave, typecast, West Virginia profiling movie I have ever seen, EVER." Even Deliverence star Burt Reynolds would have shed a tear watching this movie.
In a nutshell for one year they followed the family escapades of the The Wonderful Whites. Among the highlights:
-) The now deceased father, D. Rae White, was a tap dancing king who traveled the county fairs state wide plying his trade and yes Virginia, there is video.
-) Mother Berta Mae is seen celebrating her 85th birthday with three of her remaining kids who give her a cake, sing her happy birthday, drink beer, smoke doob and take snorts of cocaine in mom's apartment. Did I mention mom also had four dogs living in the house? She dies at the end and you see the family actually digging her grave by hand at the cemetery. (Sorry to give away the ending so soon)
-) Daughter Sue Bob, is a former stripper and we catch up with her in time to see her son Brandon, age 21, being sentenced to fifty years in jail for shooting the neighbor guy who called his mom a tramp. Are you surprised by this?
-) Daughter Kirk is seen going to the hospital to give birth to her baby girl who is fathered by a guy named Dennis (Not her husband or boyfriend, but a guy named Dennis) We then see the family taking her to rehab because the hospital just found drugs in the newborns system. What are the frickin' odds?
-) Next we see the family picking up grand daughter Mousie on the day she is released from prison. (I am not making this stuff up) As God as my witness, the family, having just picked Mousie up from prison, take her over to pick up her husband Charlie who is at his girlfriend's doublewide. (Re-read that last sentence again about three times) The family then takes Mousie and her husband to visit the Wal-Mart they got married in a few years ago and then take them back to the trailer they own so they can have sex.
The most important thing I learned from this documentary? Families is West Virginia have to own a reliable van because:
-) They need it on wedding days to get to the Wal Mart on time.
-) You need a good van to get to court on time to see your kids getting sentenced. (Kids will always remember you not showing up for their sentencing.)
-) You never want to be late to pick up relatives being released from prison.
-) It makes for a comfortable weekend ride to rehab centers.
-) Finally, it is roomy for those times when you have to pick up relatives who are cheating on their spouses.
What more can I say?

Andy