So this week's question. Is is just me or does it seem that there really isn't much effort being put into hiding the hidden immuniuty idol on Survivor? I think 19 of the last 20 idols was hidden where? In a hole in a tree. When people can find the idol without a clue or with a clue and having to spend about five minutes finding it, doens't that send a message? I think my eight year old nephew could find it in about five minutes because all he would do is go up to the first tree and start looking in the holes. Come on guys, how about a little effort.
So along with complaining, here is my idea to put a unique twist to the game. Since there are usually 16 - 20 players per season, simply give each and every player a clue at the beginning of the game to the whereabouts of their individual piece of an idol is located. The difference would be this, there would be identical pieces which would be put together to form four/five idols and each person would be looking for a piece of an idol. Each idol would consist of four pieces and the players would have to find players that have the other three pieces to form one idol. The idol only works if all four pieces of the idol are put together. This could be a great way to form alliances and once again make a unique twist to this game. Once an idol is put together, who gets to use the idol? You might have a group of four people come together that might not have formed an alliance in the first place.
Andy
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas at the Shrine Hospital in Cincinnati
I thought it would be a nice break from the weekly Survivor Rant to write about a neat story that took place last week, Thursday December 15.
A lot of you participated in our annual fund raiser to benefit the Children Shrine Hospital in Cincinnati. This is the second year for this event and not only was it fun, you will soon read of the benefits. For those of you who don't know about the event, we pick an Ohio State football game to watch on television and rent a room at the Shrine Temple next to Easton Towne Center. We have a 50/50 raffle, silent auction items, door prizes etc. We also put out more food than the third army needed in Iraq which is about the equivalent to what my mom keeps in her basement freezer on any given day. If the third army ever shows up at my mom's, she'll send dad up to Kirwens' for some milk and dinner rolls and give her 45 minutes and they will all leave with full stomachs. If you don't believe she cooks that much simply show up this Saturday Christmas Eve at her house about 8:00 pm and bring some to go boxes because you will go home with food.
Anyhow, we raised three times the amount we did last year and took off to deliver the check to the hospital on Thursday. I thought it important to educate you on what exactly your money and donations get spent on. We got a short tour of the hospital and learned some of the following. When I say we I mean my buddy Marky Mark who heads up the event and I. I think our personas were leaked out as they wouldn't let us near the kids. They tell us it was because of the chance of infection but we think it was geared more toward they didn't want us teaching the kids to say things like " Here, pull my finger." We met John who used to work in the makeup department in Hollywood among other places getting people ready for movie roles. One of his tasks is to make form fitting masks and body stockings for kids who sustain burns. The product looks and feels a lot like Silly Putty or Clay Doh in its finished state. And before you ask, yes Mark and I got to play with the Silly Putty for a few minutes. The product rolls on the skin like paint and they put it on the body parts effected and in about five minutes it hardens and they simply peel it off and make the form fitting skins and stocking from the molds. The kids wear these body stockings for 23 hours a day which help prevent scars from growing on their skin. In the next area we met a lady who goes into the school that the injured student attends. She take pictures along of the student who was injured to show to the entire school. The pictures show the student wearing the stocking which helps to educate the students about the injury and what type of rehab they are going through. They do this a day or two prior to the student returning to school in order to make a smoother transition for both sides. They also have hotel type rooms for the family to stay and play areas etc. It is totally free of charge for these families. This is only a small sampling of what the Shriners do but I thought with it being Christmas time, you might like to know as to exactly how your donations are working for others. Thanks and have a great holiday.
Andy
A lot of you participated in our annual fund raiser to benefit the Children Shrine Hospital in Cincinnati. This is the second year for this event and not only was it fun, you will soon read of the benefits. For those of you who don't know about the event, we pick an Ohio State football game to watch on television and rent a room at the Shrine Temple next to Easton Towne Center. We have a 50/50 raffle, silent auction items, door prizes etc. We also put out more food than the third army needed in Iraq which is about the equivalent to what my mom keeps in her basement freezer on any given day. If the third army ever shows up at my mom's, she'll send dad up to Kirwens' for some milk and dinner rolls and give her 45 minutes and they will all leave with full stomachs. If you don't believe she cooks that much simply show up this Saturday Christmas Eve at her house about 8:00 pm and bring some to go boxes because you will go home with food.
Anyhow, we raised three times the amount we did last year and took off to deliver the check to the hospital on Thursday. I thought it important to educate you on what exactly your money and donations get spent on. We got a short tour of the hospital and learned some of the following. When I say we I mean my buddy Marky Mark who heads up the event and I. I think our personas were leaked out as they wouldn't let us near the kids. They tell us it was because of the chance of infection but we think it was geared more toward they didn't want us teaching the kids to say things like " Here, pull my finger." We met John who used to work in the makeup department in Hollywood among other places getting people ready for movie roles. One of his tasks is to make form fitting masks and body stockings for kids who sustain burns. The product looks and feels a lot like Silly Putty or Clay Doh in its finished state. And before you ask, yes Mark and I got to play with the Silly Putty for a few minutes. The product rolls on the skin like paint and they put it on the body parts effected and in about five minutes it hardens and they simply peel it off and make the form fitting skins and stocking from the molds. The kids wear these body stockings for 23 hours a day which help prevent scars from growing on their skin. In the next area we met a lady who goes into the school that the injured student attends. She take pictures along of the student who was injured to show to the entire school. The pictures show the student wearing the stocking which helps to educate the students about the injury and what type of rehab they are going through. They do this a day or two prior to the student returning to school in order to make a smoother transition for both sides. They also have hotel type rooms for the family to stay and play areas etc. It is totally free of charge for these families. This is only a small sampling of what the Shriners do but I thought with it being Christmas time, you might like to know as to exactly how your donations are working for others. Thanks and have a great holiday.
Andy
Monday, December 19, 2011
The winner by a nose................
"You can observe a lot by watching people." Yogi Berra / New York Yankees
People are truly creatures of habit and it always seems to come out on Survivor at the bitter end. Why is it that almost every year when it comes down to the end of the season people get so bitter and mean in a game that they have watched on television through the years that requires people to do things they normally wouldn't do? More on this later.
Day 35
I wrote down two things before the show started last night. Albert wouldn't give back the idol to Brandon last week at tribal council shortly before Brandon hit the bricks and Coach continues to play the honor, integrity and loyalty card.
Redemption Island
Brandon comes out and tells Ozzie he got blindsided. Ozzie says exactly the same thing I thought, dude you gave away the idol, you made a stupid move and tried to blame it on someone else. Did you not learn anything from the ice cream guy from Michigan a few years back? The only difference this time was you didn't have three blondes with big boobs asking for the idol, you simply gave it away. Ozzie wins the competition by holding onto his pole longer than Brandon could hold onto his pole.
Go ahead and read that last line again, you know you want to because its a lot like that racy picture you just got through email and you look at it alone and say this is gross, but you keep looking at and finally send it to someone else. You then discuss it at the water cooler in low tones and laugh. See, you know you do. It is quite apparent that Ozzie needs to win all the challenges to make it to the final as everyone watching was openly rooting for Brandon to win.
Tetuna Night 35
Sophie points out that Albert not giving the idol back to Brandon will come back and haunt him. Did I just not say that same thing? As I said last week, sometimes it's what you don't do that will hurt you more than what you do. Albert could have really built up points with the jury by giving the idol back to Brandon and took on Ozzie in the Redemption Island challenge. That would have shown guts and loyalty. Oh yeah, Coach calls out Albert for lying. WOW dude, really? The king of the convenient truths calls out someone else for lying.
Day 36
Ozzie rejoins the tribe and Coach talks about giving him his hidden immunity idol if he happens to win the next challenge. Coach then says it is his game to lose. Talk is of taking out Sophie or Rick at the next vote.
Day 37 Challenge
Use one hand to balance a plate while building a stack of dominoes with the other hand. Cool challenge I must say. One by one each player manages to take the lead and then dump their dominoes. Ozzie wins once again though. Back at camp Ozzie's idea is to pit the other four against one another. Coach and Albert talk about taking Rick out and then Coach tells Rick that Sophie is gunning for him. At this point I wrote down in my notes, get rid of Sophie now because she will be tough to beat at the final.
Tribal Council
Albert pleads his case that they should keep him around because he is a viable threat to beat Ozzie in a challenge. Again, the group is openly discussing their plan to get rid of Ozzie as a group. Sophie says she has won a couple challenges and can beat Ozzie so they should keep her. Rick opens up about how he hasn't won any challenges and that Ozzie needs to look at people who won't beat him, good point. Ozzie then speaks up and tells everyone that Coach promised him a place in the final. WOW, talk about putting someone on the spot. Sophie breaks down when Ozzie then calls her condescending and that other people have said things about her. Right then and there I would have called Ozzie out and simply asked this: "You know what you are right I can be. Let me ask you this Ozzie, I would like to apologize to those people who called me names, exactly who said what about me?" Put the emphasis back on him. By a 3 - 2 vote, Rick is sent packing and he wants nothing to do with Coach's attempt at a hug.
Tetuna Day 38
Ozzie says he can sense victory. Coach calls Ozzie for spilling the beans last night, using the honor, integrity and loyalty card again. Coach should have set up a digital swiping system on the island for at many times as he keeps pulling out his loyalty card talk. Maybe he can use it to get a free Slurpy at the corner store. After all this talk about Russell Hantz hurting him last time around, he is playing the game exactly like him. The talk turns to having Sophie and Albert tie after the next challenge so they have to build a fire.
Final Challenge
Run through five obstacles to get five bags of puzzle pieces. Ozzie jumps out to a big lead but soon Coach and Sophie catch up. Albert is dead last and for someone who claims to be a great challenge person, he was never is this. Sophie comes from behind and wins the challenge.
Pre Tribal
Ozzie laments about not being able to put the puzzle together. Coach kisses up to Sophie and so does Albert. Ozzie wants to make it a tie and get into a fire building challenge. In me notes I write down, don't give Ozzie another chance.
Tribal Council
The million dollar puzzle does Ozzie in as he is voted out. I think Sophie is going to win.
Back at camp
An Ozzie free camp says Coach. Albert asking Sophie what she is going to say at final tribal council, nice try dude, no soap. The camp gets burned but no fallen comrades journey to burn the torches of the other players.
Final Council
Sophie talks too much about the obvious. Albert talks like a butt kisser and Coach once again uses his gas station rewards card to speak about honor.
Ozzie lashes out once again calls Sophie condescending. Jim asks a question and Albert says he was the leader and not Coach and that Sophie doesn't know how to play a social game. Dawn was very nice as I expected calling Coach a girl. Rick was simply pissed off at everyone including the guy who pissed in morning flakes. Brandon asks Albert about ten times if he knew they were voting for him. Whitney didn't say anything nice about anybody. Keith was distracted by a squirrel. Cochran all but went up and gave Coach a big wet kiss. Edna said the rest of the jury needed to grow up as this is how Survivor is played and they knew what they signed up for.
Sophie wins by a vote of 6 - 3.
Final Thoughts
You had three of the final four who could have won this game had situations been different which is unusual. Jeff asked for a show of hands that proved Coach would have won had Rick been in the final against him instead of Sophie. Jeff also asked how Ozzie would have done had he made it to the final and it was all but unanimous that he would have won. Another great season. Next time on Surivovor. Both tribes will live in the same area this time around. It will be interesting to see what happens when one team wins a challenge and things like fire, blankets and food and see if they share it.
Give me your thoughts.
People are truly creatures of habit and it always seems to come out on Survivor at the bitter end. Why is it that almost every year when it comes down to the end of the season people get so bitter and mean in a game that they have watched on television through the years that requires people to do things they normally wouldn't do? More on this later.
Day 35
I wrote down two things before the show started last night. Albert wouldn't give back the idol to Brandon last week at tribal council shortly before Brandon hit the bricks and Coach continues to play the honor, integrity and loyalty card.
Redemption Island
Brandon comes out and tells Ozzie he got blindsided. Ozzie says exactly the same thing I thought, dude you gave away the idol, you made a stupid move and tried to blame it on someone else. Did you not learn anything from the ice cream guy from Michigan a few years back? The only difference this time was you didn't have three blondes with big boobs asking for the idol, you simply gave it away. Ozzie wins the competition by holding onto his pole longer than Brandon could hold onto his pole.
Go ahead and read that last line again, you know you want to because its a lot like that racy picture you just got through email and you look at it alone and say this is gross, but you keep looking at and finally send it to someone else. You then discuss it at the water cooler in low tones and laugh. See, you know you do. It is quite apparent that Ozzie needs to win all the challenges to make it to the final as everyone watching was openly rooting for Brandon to win.
Tetuna Night 35
Sophie points out that Albert not giving the idol back to Brandon will come back and haunt him. Did I just not say that same thing? As I said last week, sometimes it's what you don't do that will hurt you more than what you do. Albert could have really built up points with the jury by giving the idol back to Brandon and took on Ozzie in the Redemption Island challenge. That would have shown guts and loyalty. Oh yeah, Coach calls out Albert for lying. WOW dude, really? The king of the convenient truths calls out someone else for lying.
Day 36
Ozzie rejoins the tribe and Coach talks about giving him his hidden immunity idol if he happens to win the next challenge. Coach then says it is his game to lose. Talk is of taking out Sophie or Rick at the next vote.
Day 37 Challenge
Use one hand to balance a plate while building a stack of dominoes with the other hand. Cool challenge I must say. One by one each player manages to take the lead and then dump their dominoes. Ozzie wins once again though. Back at camp Ozzie's idea is to pit the other four against one another. Coach and Albert talk about taking Rick out and then Coach tells Rick that Sophie is gunning for him. At this point I wrote down in my notes, get rid of Sophie now because she will be tough to beat at the final.
Tribal Council
Albert pleads his case that they should keep him around because he is a viable threat to beat Ozzie in a challenge. Again, the group is openly discussing their plan to get rid of Ozzie as a group. Sophie says she has won a couple challenges and can beat Ozzie so they should keep her. Rick opens up about how he hasn't won any challenges and that Ozzie needs to look at people who won't beat him, good point. Ozzie then speaks up and tells everyone that Coach promised him a place in the final. WOW, talk about putting someone on the spot. Sophie breaks down when Ozzie then calls her condescending and that other people have said things about her. Right then and there I would have called Ozzie out and simply asked this: "You know what you are right I can be. Let me ask you this Ozzie, I would like to apologize to those people who called me names, exactly who said what about me?" Put the emphasis back on him. By a 3 - 2 vote, Rick is sent packing and he wants nothing to do with Coach's attempt at a hug.
Tetuna Day 38
Ozzie says he can sense victory. Coach calls Ozzie for spilling the beans last night, using the honor, integrity and loyalty card again. Coach should have set up a digital swiping system on the island for at many times as he keeps pulling out his loyalty card talk. Maybe he can use it to get a free Slurpy at the corner store. After all this talk about Russell Hantz hurting him last time around, he is playing the game exactly like him. The talk turns to having Sophie and Albert tie after the next challenge so they have to build a fire.
Final Challenge
Run through five obstacles to get five bags of puzzle pieces. Ozzie jumps out to a big lead but soon Coach and Sophie catch up. Albert is dead last and for someone who claims to be a great challenge person, he was never is this. Sophie comes from behind and wins the challenge.
Pre Tribal
Ozzie laments about not being able to put the puzzle together. Coach kisses up to Sophie and so does Albert. Ozzie wants to make it a tie and get into a fire building challenge. In me notes I write down, don't give Ozzie another chance.
Tribal Council
The million dollar puzzle does Ozzie in as he is voted out. I think Sophie is going to win.
Back at camp
An Ozzie free camp says Coach. Albert asking Sophie what she is going to say at final tribal council, nice try dude, no soap. The camp gets burned but no fallen comrades journey to burn the torches of the other players.
Final Council
Sophie talks too much about the obvious. Albert talks like a butt kisser and Coach once again uses his gas station rewards card to speak about honor.
Ozzie lashes out once again calls Sophie condescending. Jim asks a question and Albert says he was the leader and not Coach and that Sophie doesn't know how to play a social game. Dawn was very nice as I expected calling Coach a girl. Rick was simply pissed off at everyone including the guy who pissed in morning flakes. Brandon asks Albert about ten times if he knew they were voting for him. Whitney didn't say anything nice about anybody. Keith was distracted by a squirrel. Cochran all but went up and gave Coach a big wet kiss. Edna said the rest of the jury needed to grow up as this is how Survivor is played and they knew what they signed up for.
Sophie wins by a vote of 6 - 3.
Final Thoughts
You had three of the final four who could have won this game had situations been different which is unusual. Jeff asked for a show of hands that proved Coach would have won had Rick been in the final against him instead of Sophie. Jeff also asked how Ozzie would have done had he made it to the final and it was all but unanimous that he would have won. Another great season. Next time on Surivovor. Both tribes will live in the same area this time around. It will be interesting to see what happens when one team wins a challenge and things like fire, blankets and food and see if they share it.
Give me your thoughts.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
God Blindsides Brandon, more at six o'clock............
If you haven't watched the horse racing movie Secretariat, you need to go out and rent it and this will give you an idea of what happened last night on Survivor. In the last scene Secretariat is shown sprinting down the home stretch with an enormous lead (Yes he wins the race and I gave away the ending, too bad if you had rented the movie you wouldn't be complaining now) where was I, oh yes the horse has a huge lead and the trainer yells to the jockey, "Don't fall off the horse Ronnie, don't fall off the horse." Last night Brandon fell off the horse.
Tetuna Night 32
The final five of Brandon, Coach, Sophie, Rick and Albert have made it. Brandon and Coach pray which is what Brandon and Coach do. Albert is going after Sophie because he thinks she is well spoken and the smartest person left in the game. DAH AH, I said that a few blogs ago, that proves he reads my blog. The good part of having an alliance of five is you have the numbers to vote others off. The bad part of having an alliance of five is, only one person wins. It is sort of like your wife meeting your girlfriend for the first time. It ain't a bad thing until they figure out who the other person actually is and how they know you. No I'm not talking from experience because I ain't that lucky nor am I that dumb.
Redemption Island Challenge
Edna and Ozzie start with a slide puzzle, which releases a machete, which is used to cut a rope, which then releases puzzle pieces. Ozzie jumps out to a big lead and of course you think he will win. Then Edna comes roaring back and jumps ahead when putting the final puzzle together and you think she has it won.........but wait, she didn't put the puzzle togther correctly and Ozzie wins in a close finish. The five people watching the challenge were cheering for Edna and even offering here advice. Poor Ozzie, nobody wants him in the game but he is still alive.
Tetuna Day 33
Albert doesn't care for the honor and integrity code of the group. He is exactly right, at this point somebody has to lie and cheat. It is sort of like the no texting while driving law. Here is a quote from an article which I just read involving texing and driving, "And what's more, many drivers don't think it's dangerous when they text and drive — only when others do." WTF? Really? That's like saying it isn't a bad thing to have a head on crash with another vehicle, as long as it isn't me. I don't think I can give a better analogy for this part of the game. Basically we are at the stage of the game which says, "I can lie to you, but don't you dare lie to me." Meanwhile, Sophie wants Brandon gone and I think she is right. Whatever he has done in the past is the past. He is actually starting to grow on people. Whenever you mention God as much as he does, you get people's attention. Coach thinks Brandon is turning into a bully. Tony Soprano has his tough guys and God has Brandon. Brandon wants a hug.
Challenge Day 35
Climb a wall and gather what? Bags of puzzle pieces of course. The tough part is climbing the wall part way, holding onto the rope while untying each of the four bags of puzzle pieces, making your way back down the wall and repeating this process. Brandon jumps out to a huge lead and wins easily. Now the other four have a tough decision as it was quite apparent, Brandon was the target to be voted out and now he has immunity. The best thing that could have happened. But................
Pre-Tribal Council
Coach and Sophie are talking about voting off Albert which is the smartest move which is the smartest move for those two. (Yes I did repeat myself there and was going to edit it but thought I would leave it in) Albert has been a loose canon and can't be trusted. Rick spills the beans to Brandon about what Albert said so Brandon runs right to Albert to tell him what Rick said. Then a four person discussion, argument, those pants make your butt look fat, your girlfriend is ugly, OH YEAH I know you are but what am I, finger pointing, let me finish, yadda, yadda, yadda conversation takes place.......... and cut. WOW, I wasn't sure as to most of the conversation other than it sounded like someone's toy got broken on Christmas morning and someone else was to blame. I am fine with it and you know why, because it wasn't my toy that got broken. tttthhhhhhhhhppppppppp Brandon talks about giving the immunity necklace he won, to Albert. He said he is going to pray on it. Coach listens to Brandon and says he is going to pray on it too. At this point as I was watching I was thinking I wanted a beer, so I prayed on it.
Tribal Council
Brandon decides to protect Albert so he gives him his immunity necklace. You work so hard to stay alive for 33 days, win immunity and then give the necklace away, why? This is an individual game and history shows that when someone gives away immunity the odds are, you will lose and look stupid for doing it. I am quite sure when Brandon started watching this season on television, he sooned realized all that he needed to know about Albert. He explained that they were buddies through out the game so this was his way of showing Albert that he had his back. Brandon then goes on about a gang he used to be in when he was younger and how they were brothers and had each other's back with the exception of one time.............zzzzzzzz. Dude, did you not learn anything from that experience? I was waiting for Albert to give the necklace back to Brandon as a sign that he had his back also, didn't happen. Albert kept talking about other things which basically clinched his spot of not being able to win this game as he just completely lost his two most loyal people, Sophie and Rick. Rick spills the beans about Coach having the hidden immunity idol. The deciding vote comes down to Coach who votes his prayer meeting buddy Brandon to Redemption, thus saving Sohpie. I guess God went with Coach and not Brandon. God didn't listen to me either as just as the innkeeper told Mary and Joseph that there was no room at the inn with it being Christmas Eve and all, there was no beer in my fridge.
And now?
I look at the favorites as being Ozzie and Sophie. As in life, people tend to be creatures of habit. When the players are talking about other players, they have been talking about Ozzie and Sophie as being the one's they don't want to be in the final with because of how they have played the game. I think if Sophie makes it to the final she wins. Ozzie can make it to the final, but as being a creature of habit, he will flub his lines at the final tribal council and won't come across very well. At this point I say Sophie wins and Ozzie comes in second and Coach third. I think the impressions of Coach and Ozzie from seasons past come back to haunt them yet again.
Tetuna Night 32
The final five of Brandon, Coach, Sophie, Rick and Albert have made it. Brandon and Coach pray which is what Brandon and Coach do. Albert is going after Sophie because he thinks she is well spoken and the smartest person left in the game. DAH AH, I said that a few blogs ago, that proves he reads my blog. The good part of having an alliance of five is you have the numbers to vote others off. The bad part of having an alliance of five is, only one person wins. It is sort of like your wife meeting your girlfriend for the first time. It ain't a bad thing until they figure out who the other person actually is and how they know you. No I'm not talking from experience because I ain't that lucky nor am I that dumb.
Redemption Island Challenge
Edna and Ozzie start with a slide puzzle, which releases a machete, which is used to cut a rope, which then releases puzzle pieces. Ozzie jumps out to a big lead and of course you think he will win. Then Edna comes roaring back and jumps ahead when putting the final puzzle together and you think she has it won.........but wait, she didn't put the puzzle togther correctly and Ozzie wins in a close finish. The five people watching the challenge were cheering for Edna and even offering here advice. Poor Ozzie, nobody wants him in the game but he is still alive.
Tetuna Day 33
Albert doesn't care for the honor and integrity code of the group. He is exactly right, at this point somebody has to lie and cheat. It is sort of like the no texting while driving law. Here is a quote from an article which I just read involving texing and driving, "And what's more, many drivers don't think it's dangerous when they text and drive — only when others do." WTF? Really? That's like saying it isn't a bad thing to have a head on crash with another vehicle, as long as it isn't me. I don't think I can give a better analogy for this part of the game. Basically we are at the stage of the game which says, "I can lie to you, but don't you dare lie to me." Meanwhile, Sophie wants Brandon gone and I think she is right. Whatever he has done in the past is the past. He is actually starting to grow on people. Whenever you mention God as much as he does, you get people's attention. Coach thinks Brandon is turning into a bully. Tony Soprano has his tough guys and God has Brandon. Brandon wants a hug.
Challenge Day 35
Climb a wall and gather what? Bags of puzzle pieces of course. The tough part is climbing the wall part way, holding onto the rope while untying each of the four bags of puzzle pieces, making your way back down the wall and repeating this process. Brandon jumps out to a huge lead and wins easily. Now the other four have a tough decision as it was quite apparent, Brandon was the target to be voted out and now he has immunity. The best thing that could have happened. But................
Pre-Tribal Council
Coach and Sophie are talking about voting off Albert which is the smartest move which is the smartest move for those two. (Yes I did repeat myself there and was going to edit it but thought I would leave it in) Albert has been a loose canon and can't be trusted. Rick spills the beans to Brandon about what Albert said so Brandon runs right to Albert to tell him what Rick said. Then a four person discussion, argument, those pants make your butt look fat, your girlfriend is ugly, OH YEAH I know you are but what am I, finger pointing, let me finish, yadda, yadda, yadda conversation takes place.......... and cut. WOW, I wasn't sure as to most of the conversation other than it sounded like someone's toy got broken on Christmas morning and someone else was to blame. I am fine with it and you know why, because it wasn't my toy that got broken. tttthhhhhhhhhppppppppp Brandon talks about giving the immunity necklace he won, to Albert. He said he is going to pray on it. Coach listens to Brandon and says he is going to pray on it too. At this point as I was watching I was thinking I wanted a beer, so I prayed on it.
Tribal Council
Brandon decides to protect Albert so he gives him his immunity necklace. You work so hard to stay alive for 33 days, win immunity and then give the necklace away, why? This is an individual game and history shows that when someone gives away immunity the odds are, you will lose and look stupid for doing it. I am quite sure when Brandon started watching this season on television, he sooned realized all that he needed to know about Albert. He explained that they were buddies through out the game so this was his way of showing Albert that he had his back. Brandon then goes on about a gang he used to be in when he was younger and how they were brothers and had each other's back with the exception of one time.............zzzzzzzz. Dude, did you not learn anything from that experience? I was waiting for Albert to give the necklace back to Brandon as a sign that he had his back also, didn't happen. Albert kept talking about other things which basically clinched his spot of not being able to win this game as he just completely lost his two most loyal people, Sophie and Rick. Rick spills the beans about Coach having the hidden immunity idol. The deciding vote comes down to Coach who votes his prayer meeting buddy Brandon to Redemption, thus saving Sohpie. I guess God went with Coach and not Brandon. God didn't listen to me either as just as the innkeeper told Mary and Joseph that there was no room at the inn with it being Christmas Eve and all, there was no beer in my fridge.
And now?
I look at the favorites as being Ozzie and Sophie. As in life, people tend to be creatures of habit. When the players are talking about other players, they have been talking about Ozzie and Sophie as being the one's they don't want to be in the final with because of how they have played the game. I think if Sophie makes it to the final she wins. Ozzie can make it to the final, but as being a creature of habit, he will flub his lines at the final tribal council and won't come across very well. At this point I say Sophie wins and Ozzie comes in second and Coach third. I think the impressions of Coach and Ozzie from seasons past come back to haunt them yet again.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Home Visit Part 23
Dear Blog Guy,
Why do you think everyone cried last night during the loved one's visit?
Abner Doubleday, Witchita KS
Dear Abner,
You have to remember that this was taped from earlier in the year. They had all just been told that Kim Kardashian was getting a divorce. AGAIN.
P.S.
Abner, didn't you invent baseball? I thought you were dead.
Speaking of dead. A quick moment of silence for Henry Morgan who played Col. Sherman T. Potter on M*A*S*H died yesterday. And no he wasn't related to Harry Potter.
Cochran on Redemption Island
Cochran is a little upset that the tribe voted him out and used him after he flipped on Savaii. Dude, I did like your decision and courage to flip against your own tribe. You had to think this would happen with the old Upolu crew being as tight as they are. Ozzie tells Cochran that he can get them all back by voting for him to win. Wait a minute, Ozzie already thinks he is in the finals and Cochran picks up on this. Ozzie says privately to the camera that Cochran has no chance.
Day 30 at camp
Coach is upset with Brandon because of his comments at tribal council about Edna.
The loyalty, truth and honor card is played. Edna is talking to Coach about Brandon when suddenly Brandon yells out that treemail has arrived with a flat screen phone included.
30 Second Commercial
I was out shopping on Saturday with one of my sister's and went into Brookstone. They now have a phone app which allows you to fly a model helicopter from your phone. Yes folks we have digressed enough as a population to the point where we don't even have to put our phones down to play games. I am hoping they come up with a softball app for next summer so I can hit the ball, run the bases and play outfield all while sitting in the dugout while drinking beer and eating donuts. I hope to have my cholesterol level up to 500 by my birthday.
Where was I, oh yeah
So it is the family visit episode. Coach equates it to having a phone from 1995 on the island. What? I don't get what he said there. Anyhow, we get to see family members on the phone.
Redemption Island Challenge
Ozzie beats Cochran in a very close ball and maize game. Here is a dumb question. Why did they have to grapple hook three balls when they only needed one? Cochran then says this was the best thing to ever happen to him. Even better then going to Harvard to become a lawyer? After Cochran leaves, family members arrive, tears are shed when Jeff spills the beans about Kim Kardashian's impending divorce. So sad. Sophie's dad, Edna's sister and Rick's wife aren't allowed to stay. Thanks for flying 18 hours one way to get a five minute hug. Now get out. The other people get to go to the Redemption Island shelter which looks like it was built by Bob Villa and a crew from Sears.
Challenge.
Chinese Checkers. It is quite apparent from the start that the group is out to get Edna. She starts complaining and Brandon chimes in. Coach wins immunity.
Tetuna Day 32
Brandon apologizes to Edna for being too harsh. Edna makes a valiant effort to persuade the group that Brandon is the most disloyal of them all. Even though everyone agrees with her, she still gets voted out.
Next Week.
WOW. It looks like Edna beats Ozzie but I am guessing it ain't so. Then all hell breaks loose at camp. It appears the brunt of the wrath is pointed toward Coach. As I mentioned before, I am guessing that Albert and Sophie spill the beans to Rick and Brandon about when Coach really found the hidden immunity idol. Oh yeah, the tribe breaks down again when Jeff tells them that Lindsay Lohan is headed back to jail.
Why do you think everyone cried last night during the loved one's visit?
Abner Doubleday, Witchita KS
Dear Abner,
You have to remember that this was taped from earlier in the year. They had all just been told that Kim Kardashian was getting a divorce. AGAIN.
P.S.
Abner, didn't you invent baseball? I thought you were dead.
Speaking of dead. A quick moment of silence for Henry Morgan who played Col. Sherman T. Potter on M*A*S*H died yesterday. And no he wasn't related to Harry Potter.
Cochran on Redemption Island
Cochran is a little upset that the tribe voted him out and used him after he flipped on Savaii. Dude, I did like your decision and courage to flip against your own tribe. You had to think this would happen with the old Upolu crew being as tight as they are. Ozzie tells Cochran that he can get them all back by voting for him to win. Wait a minute, Ozzie already thinks he is in the finals and Cochran picks up on this. Ozzie says privately to the camera that Cochran has no chance.
Day 30 at camp
Coach is upset with Brandon because of his comments at tribal council about Edna.
The loyalty, truth and honor card is played. Edna is talking to Coach about Brandon when suddenly Brandon yells out that treemail has arrived with a flat screen phone included.
30 Second Commercial
I was out shopping on Saturday with one of my sister's and went into Brookstone. They now have a phone app which allows you to fly a model helicopter from your phone. Yes folks we have digressed enough as a population to the point where we don't even have to put our phones down to play games. I am hoping they come up with a softball app for next summer so I can hit the ball, run the bases and play outfield all while sitting in the dugout while drinking beer and eating donuts. I hope to have my cholesterol level up to 500 by my birthday.
Where was I, oh yeah
So it is the family visit episode. Coach equates it to having a phone from 1995 on the island. What? I don't get what he said there. Anyhow, we get to see family members on the phone.
Redemption Island Challenge
Ozzie beats Cochran in a very close ball and maize game. Here is a dumb question. Why did they have to grapple hook three balls when they only needed one? Cochran then says this was the best thing to ever happen to him. Even better then going to Harvard to become a lawyer? After Cochran leaves, family members arrive, tears are shed when Jeff spills the beans about Kim Kardashian's impending divorce. So sad. Sophie's dad, Edna's sister and Rick's wife aren't allowed to stay. Thanks for flying 18 hours one way to get a five minute hug. Now get out. The other people get to go to the Redemption Island shelter which looks like it was built by Bob Villa and a crew from Sears.
Challenge.
Chinese Checkers. It is quite apparent from the start that the group is out to get Edna. She starts complaining and Brandon chimes in. Coach wins immunity.
Tetuna Day 32
Brandon apologizes to Edna for being too harsh. Edna makes a valiant effort to persuade the group that Brandon is the most disloyal of them all. Even though everyone agrees with her, she still gets voted out.
Next Week.
WOW. It looks like Edna beats Ozzie but I am guessing it ain't so. Then all hell breaks loose at camp. It appears the brunt of the wrath is pointed toward Coach. As I mentioned before, I am guessing that Albert and Sophie spill the beans to Rick and Brandon about when Coach really found the hidden immunity idol. Oh yeah, the tribe breaks down again when Jeff tells them that Lindsay Lohan is headed back to jail.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
We are family..... Addams or Manson?
Cochran, Cochran, Cochran. The one guy who has made moves during this season is scared. He put his Survivor life on the line for Upolu and Coach told him in return, he would protect him. Brandon said the same thing. I think Cochran is right with his mafia mentality. They will protect you from your own family until, well until your family is gone and then, well then they will beat the crap out of you. I don't feel sorry for Cochran but rather proud that he had the courage to do what he did. Sophie sees through Cochran's facade in fact she doesn't like him at all. Wow, no thank you for his help in getting you this far in the game, you bitch. Hey Sophie, had Cochran stayed with his old tribe it might be your tribe on the outs. Cochran calls the tribe together and asks them to keep him for one more tribal council as he believes they are indebted to him for flipping and it is his birthday. Oh yeah and by the way, he says this in front of eveyone with one exception, Edna who is nowhere to be seen. Of course that is who he wants gone.
Redemption Island
Ozzie, Dawn and Whitney in a plate balancing challenge. I think this is harder than it looks. Dawn then Whitney are eliminated. Both girls cry and we move on. Ozzie mentions back at Redemption that once again, he is good. God is good too Ozzie, but he doesn't brag about it each week on Survivor.
Rick and Edna
You'll be happy to know that these two are still alive, good for you go team.
Edna thinks she is number 7 of a 7 person tribe and doesn't like it. She sees Albert sitting around doing nothing. Rick notices the same thing and calls him Prince Albert. Albert thinks to himself that these people doing work are Martha Stewart. And so the unraveling of the family begins. Coach helps Cochran get centered with some Tai Chi and a four foot level.
Challenge
Toss across and sling shots. Sort of a boring challenge but Prince Albert walks away with immunity. Oh wait a minute, there is a massage included so he chooses Coach and then gives away his reward to birthday boy Cochran. Um, Cochran then makes an uncomfortable comment about the only massage he has been involved with is with his mom. I am going to step away from the keyboard for just a second and let you all digest that last comment for a moment. (Uncomfortable pause, everyone cross your legs, look around the room making sure not to make eye contact with anyone, scratch your nose, check your phone, look at the clock...............and we're back.)
Pretribal
It appeared that the vote would come down to several people, Rick, Edna and Cochran. Although Edna and Cochran seemed to be making a pact. Coach is concerned about who he will take to the final. I like that he is thinking that far ahead. Albert thinks Rick would be a good choice. I think that was based on Rick's "Prince Albert," comment. That goes to show you that everything you say is scrutinized.
Council
Coach says no one knows their spot. Cochran again says the tribe should be indebted to him which brings smirks from the jury. Albert agress that Cochran is owed something, he doesn't say what though. Coach says Cochran is viewed as both a coward and a hero. Edna is sad that people consider her number 6 or 7. Brandon is bold enough to say it out loud, "Cochran is 7 and Edna is 6." He also makes another bold statement, I want to do bad things but I can't. Honesty and loyalty to the last drop.
Jeff makes the comment that 6 and 7 could hook up with 4 and 5 and turn this game. Way to give out strategy ideas there Jeff. Cochran then makes a bold comment himself, "What if Edna would have won immunity?" Basically saying you owe me something and Edna is number 7, who do you vote then? One thing that no one is mentioning? Ozzie is still alive. The vote is taken and Cochran goes to Redemption to visit Ozzie.
Next Week
Edna wants Brandon gone and Ozzie thinks he will easily beat Cochran.
Redemption Island
Ozzie, Dawn and Whitney in a plate balancing challenge. I think this is harder than it looks. Dawn then Whitney are eliminated. Both girls cry and we move on. Ozzie mentions back at Redemption that once again, he is good. God is good too Ozzie, but he doesn't brag about it each week on Survivor.
Rick and Edna
You'll be happy to know that these two are still alive, good for you go team.
Edna thinks she is number 7 of a 7 person tribe and doesn't like it. She sees Albert sitting around doing nothing. Rick notices the same thing and calls him Prince Albert. Albert thinks to himself that these people doing work are Martha Stewart. And so the unraveling of the family begins. Coach helps Cochran get centered with some Tai Chi and a four foot level.
Challenge
Toss across and sling shots. Sort of a boring challenge but Prince Albert walks away with immunity. Oh wait a minute, there is a massage included so he chooses Coach and then gives away his reward to birthday boy Cochran. Um, Cochran then makes an uncomfortable comment about the only massage he has been involved with is with his mom. I am going to step away from the keyboard for just a second and let you all digest that last comment for a moment. (Uncomfortable pause, everyone cross your legs, look around the room making sure not to make eye contact with anyone, scratch your nose, check your phone, look at the clock...............and we're back.)
Pretribal
It appeared that the vote would come down to several people, Rick, Edna and Cochran. Although Edna and Cochran seemed to be making a pact. Coach is concerned about who he will take to the final. I like that he is thinking that far ahead. Albert thinks Rick would be a good choice. I think that was based on Rick's "Prince Albert," comment. That goes to show you that everything you say is scrutinized.
Council
Coach says no one knows their spot. Cochran again says the tribe should be indebted to him which brings smirks from the jury. Albert agress that Cochran is owed something, he doesn't say what though. Coach says Cochran is viewed as both a coward and a hero. Edna is sad that people consider her number 6 or 7. Brandon is bold enough to say it out loud, "Cochran is 7 and Edna is 6." He also makes another bold statement, I want to do bad things but I can't. Honesty and loyalty to the last drop.
Jeff makes the comment that 6 and 7 could hook up with 4 and 5 and turn this game. Way to give out strategy ideas there Jeff. Cochran then makes a bold comment himself, "What if Edna would have won immunity?" Basically saying you owe me something and Edna is number 7, who do you vote then? One thing that no one is mentioning? Ozzie is still alive. The vote is taken and Cochran goes to Redemption to visit Ozzie.
Next Week
Edna wants Brandon gone and Ozzie thinks he will easily beat Cochran.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Does anyone have a mirror?
Here’s my thought in regard to Rick and Edna. Have you ever seen those Fat Head commercials where you can buy life size replicas of your favorite sports personalities and hang them on your wall? They don’t move, they don’t talk, they do nothing, but…..they will cash a check at some point for some amount for just appearing, very much like Rick and Edna. What have these two brought to the game other than they know how to write someone else’s name on a piece of paper? Sad. Maybe next year they should simply recruit people on welfare who don’t move, don’t talk and don’t do anything with the exception of cashing a monthly check for what? For being an American. Everybody now, “GOD Bless the USA”. Okay, I’m done now.
Pre-Redemption Island
Jim thinks the final three will be Coach, Cochran and Edna. I think if this is the case, Cochran would win out. I still don’t think enough people are sold on the new and improved Coach.
Redemption Island
Ozzie beats Jim and Keith in the challenge. Balancing two boards on the back of his hands which supports another board, very creative. Oh yeah and by the way. Before the challenge Whitney openly cheers for Keith while Rick cheers for Jim. Jeff asks the group if anyone is cheering for Ozzie, ………….crickets. Wow I think President Obama has a higher approval rating. No one is hoping for the Oz man to win. While Ozzie is the most physically fit, it is quite apparent that even though this is his third appearance on the show, he still doesn’t know how to play the social game. Oz Man might very well make it to the final but the only way he could win is if he faces Rick and Edna in the final and they both fell over from strokes before the vote.
Redemption Day 26
Ozzie says good things about himself. The group is missing his skills in catching fish and providing. What else is new.
Tetuna
Let me stop here for a second. When you pronounce Te-tuna, doesn’t is sound like a guy who stutters? What do you want for lunch? A t-Tuna sandwich. I know, that was rude.
Challenge
As soon as Jeff started explaining this challenge my first thought, damn it Gumbie, that looks like fun. Fill a bowl with rice, put it on your head, walk across a teeter-totter and dump your rice into another bowl. If I never make it on Survivor I at least want to help design future challenges. Of course my ideas involve blindfolds, lawn jarts, and ex-spouses, just sayin’. Sophie wins when she loads her third bowl of rice to the brim. Oh yeah, remember teeter-totters from when you were in school. One of the most dangerous of all the playground equipment especially when the two people sharing one tttt-teeter-totter, who might have been very close as friends but not very close in actual weight. And while we are on that subject, why was it the fat kid’s best friend was the skinniest kid in class and the girl who slept with everyone was best friends with the girl who ended up being a nun? But I digress.
Pre-Tribal Council
Cochran notes his lack of balance and co-ordination. Yeah dude we know. Millions of people watched your attempt to cross the teeter-totter with a bowl of rice on your head. It was akin to watching Helen Keller attempt to walk across a frozen pond, with two bags of groceries after downing a case of Bud Light. Whitney makes the comment about Cochran and Sophie being lawyers and “For a bunch of smart people they sure are dumb.” I don’t get this quote at all other than sour grapes for being on the short end of the totem pole.
Dawn then notes that she thinks she is going home. However, some moves are being discussed in the background such as Albert, Cochran, Whitney, Dawn and Sophie talking about getting rid of Edna. Why not? At some point you have to whittle the numbers down, why not now? You also take over control of the game with a move like that. However, even with Jeff telling everyone to expect a twist, Dawn gets voted out. This happens even after Whitney and Dawn mention this at Tribal Council prior to the vote. Cochran even pipes in that this would be the best time to make a move. The guy sitting at number 7 of a 7 person tribe agrees with the status, but fails to make a second huge move. Coach and Albert exchange a few friendly, “Who is in charge,” comments. Coach makes the quote, “Information is power,” which I think I have heard on each season. The twist is in the form of a trivia question challenge game about South Pacific and Sophie wins immunity a second time in about five minutes. Whitney gets sent to Redemption Island along with Dawn. The only surprise to me was Cochran getting a vote. Who voted for Cochran?
Next Week.
I am thinking Cochran is the key here. Sophie and Albert have to make a play for him as it breaks down like this. Albert, Sophie, Rick against Coach, Edna and Brandon. Cochran could easily determine who the final four is and these two groups already know this. And my prediction is, I think Dawn upsets Ozzie in the next challenge and eventually makes it back from Redemption Island.
Pre-Redemption Island
Jim thinks the final three will be Coach, Cochran and Edna. I think if this is the case, Cochran would win out. I still don’t think enough people are sold on the new and improved Coach.
Redemption Island
Ozzie beats Jim and Keith in the challenge. Balancing two boards on the back of his hands which supports another board, very creative. Oh yeah and by the way. Before the challenge Whitney openly cheers for Keith while Rick cheers for Jim. Jeff asks the group if anyone is cheering for Ozzie, ………….crickets. Wow I think President Obama has a higher approval rating. No one is hoping for the Oz man to win. While Ozzie is the most physically fit, it is quite apparent that even though this is his third appearance on the show, he still doesn’t know how to play the social game. Oz Man might very well make it to the final but the only way he could win is if he faces Rick and Edna in the final and they both fell over from strokes before the vote.
Redemption Day 26
Ozzie says good things about himself. The group is missing his skills in catching fish and providing. What else is new.
Tetuna
Let me stop here for a second. When you pronounce Te-tuna, doesn’t is sound like a guy who stutters? What do you want for lunch? A t-Tuna sandwich. I know, that was rude.
Challenge
As soon as Jeff started explaining this challenge my first thought, damn it Gumbie, that looks like fun. Fill a bowl with rice, put it on your head, walk across a teeter-totter and dump your rice into another bowl. If I never make it on Survivor I at least want to help design future challenges. Of course my ideas involve blindfolds, lawn jarts, and ex-spouses, just sayin’. Sophie wins when she loads her third bowl of rice to the brim. Oh yeah, remember teeter-totters from when you were in school. One of the most dangerous of all the playground equipment especially when the two people sharing one tttt-teeter-totter, who might have been very close as friends but not very close in actual weight. And while we are on that subject, why was it the fat kid’s best friend was the skinniest kid in class and the girl who slept with everyone was best friends with the girl who ended up being a nun? But I digress.
Pre-Tribal Council
Cochran notes his lack of balance and co-ordination. Yeah dude we know. Millions of people watched your attempt to cross the teeter-totter with a bowl of rice on your head. It was akin to watching Helen Keller attempt to walk across a frozen pond, with two bags of groceries after downing a case of Bud Light. Whitney makes the comment about Cochran and Sophie being lawyers and “For a bunch of smart people they sure are dumb.” I don’t get this quote at all other than sour grapes for being on the short end of the totem pole.
Dawn then notes that she thinks she is going home. However, some moves are being discussed in the background such as Albert, Cochran, Whitney, Dawn and Sophie talking about getting rid of Edna. Why not? At some point you have to whittle the numbers down, why not now? You also take over control of the game with a move like that. However, even with Jeff telling everyone to expect a twist, Dawn gets voted out. This happens even after Whitney and Dawn mention this at Tribal Council prior to the vote. Cochran even pipes in that this would be the best time to make a move. The guy sitting at number 7 of a 7 person tribe agrees with the status, but fails to make a second huge move. Coach and Albert exchange a few friendly, “Who is in charge,” comments. Coach makes the quote, “Information is power,” which I think I have heard on each season. The twist is in the form of a trivia question challenge game about South Pacific and Sophie wins immunity a second time in about five minutes. Whitney gets sent to Redemption Island along with Dawn. The only surprise to me was Cochran getting a vote. Who voted for Cochran?
Next Week.
I am thinking Cochran is the key here. Sophie and Albert have to make a play for him as it breaks down like this. Albert, Sophie, Rick against Coach, Edna and Brandon. Cochran could easily determine who the final four is and these two groups already know this. And my prediction is, I think Dawn upsets Ozzie in the next challenge and eventually makes it back from Redemption Island.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
It's Cochran's Fault
Dear Andy,
Where did Cochran get his dress coat?
Arnie Flemler, Amsterdam Vermont
Dear Arnie,
In the opening credits they showed a homeless guy on the beach with a shopping cart and sign which read, "Will be in your alliance for food." Cochran hit him over the head with a coconut and then stole his jacket. Evidently it's homecoming at Harvard this weekend and he needed a suit.
P.S.
Arnie, can you send me some Maple Syrup, I have a hankering for some waffles.
The Fallout at TeTuna
Cochran gets an earful from both Jim and Whitney. Jim tells Cochran he is a piece of crap and to never talk to him again. Whitney drops a couple of f-bombs on Cochran and calls him disgusting. WOW. These two people have done nothing but complain about Cochran to his face, have asked him to take more responsibility for his actions and to not take things personnally. For my two cents they are both talking about both sides of their mouth because they do exactly the opposite of what they expect out of Cochran. More on this later. We see Ozzie wanting to talk to Cochran alone and Brandon stepping in. Ozzie makes the comment of "We aren't thugs out here." He also said he put in ass on the line for Cochran. Yes, yes you did Ozzie, you chose to do that on your own, again don't blame Cochran for a decision you made.
TeTuna day 22
Coach thinks thing are going his way. UH OH, the kiss of death. The island will probably get hit by a Tsunami now.
Challenge
Coconut toss into a ring. Is there anything you can't do with a coconut that involves fun? I am thinking about opening up a coconut farm next year. Jim wins immuinty and starts looking for a friend.
Pre Tribal Council
The obvious is spoken. Coach says the cockiness of the other tribe has subsided. Jim blames Cochran for being, "Less of a man," and also says Cochran is to blame for the job loss in the United States and finally says "Charlie Sheen would still be on Two and Half Men if it weren't for Cochran." That frickin' Cochran.
The Plan / Tribal Council
Jim wants to give Ozzie the immunity idol and then tell everyone that 10 of the 11 people left in the game have integrity and honesty and only Cochran doesn't. At Tribal Council, Cochran tells people that the reception after the last vote was chilly from his tribe. Jim admits to saying some childish things to Cochran. Of course he also says they have saved Cochran several times and that Cochran is dishonorable person. Whitney thinks she is being vilified and cries a river. Jim then gives his best "This would be a good time to send a message to future players that you can win this game with ingerity." All he needed was a pulpit, the setting of the Lincoln monument and a picture of Martin Luther King and it would have been perfect. Notice he didn't say "Win with integrity and balls," because when it came time for Jim to determine if he would really give the idol to Ozzie before the vote, he of course backed out. Dude when you say you are going to put yourself out, like Ozzie and Cochran did, you should really follow through because if you don't, your words sort of ring hollow. Ozzie is sent to Redemption Island where he will feed people, embrace them and then beat them. Go Ozzie, go. Oh yeah, I think one of the players wrote Coch&^%$ on their card for Cochran. Let me guess, probably Jim, how immature. Oh yes that girl Whitney who felt vilified switched her vote to friend Ozzie. That should come out at the Reunion Show.
Second Challenge
Eat or challenge. If I was on the tribe with the majority I would have done the challenge for two reason. First, its frickin' Survivor. Secondly, if you win you have full control on who goes home. Vilified Whitney wins. Oh yes, a weary Brandon rests his shoulder on Cochran's neck. How sweet.
The Plan #2
Jim diagrams a play in the sand for Albert and Sophie to vote out Edna. Albert thinks Jim has a good idea but is more key on getting Dawn out who is really fitting in with the dominant group now. The group does the smart thing and rids itself of Jim. By the say, Edna is still playing for those of you keeping score at home. Have no idea where she has been hiding, but she is still in the game. and oh yes, Cochran makes a fashion statement with his new coat.
Next Week.
Albert is making a play and Coach doesn't like it. Ozzie climbs a tree. Jim blames Cochran for JoePa being fired at Penn State.
Where did Cochran get his dress coat?
Arnie Flemler, Amsterdam Vermont
Dear Arnie,
In the opening credits they showed a homeless guy on the beach with a shopping cart and sign which read, "Will be in your alliance for food." Cochran hit him over the head with a coconut and then stole his jacket. Evidently it's homecoming at Harvard this weekend and he needed a suit.
P.S.
Arnie, can you send me some Maple Syrup, I have a hankering for some waffles.
The Fallout at TeTuna
Cochran gets an earful from both Jim and Whitney. Jim tells Cochran he is a piece of crap and to never talk to him again. Whitney drops a couple of f-bombs on Cochran and calls him disgusting. WOW. These two people have done nothing but complain about Cochran to his face, have asked him to take more responsibility for his actions and to not take things personnally. For my two cents they are both talking about both sides of their mouth because they do exactly the opposite of what they expect out of Cochran. More on this later. We see Ozzie wanting to talk to Cochran alone and Brandon stepping in. Ozzie makes the comment of "We aren't thugs out here." He also said he put in ass on the line for Cochran. Yes, yes you did Ozzie, you chose to do that on your own, again don't blame Cochran for a decision you made.
TeTuna day 22
Coach thinks thing are going his way. UH OH, the kiss of death. The island will probably get hit by a Tsunami now.
Challenge
Coconut toss into a ring. Is there anything you can't do with a coconut that involves fun? I am thinking about opening up a coconut farm next year. Jim wins immuinty and starts looking for a friend.
Pre Tribal Council
The obvious is spoken. Coach says the cockiness of the other tribe has subsided. Jim blames Cochran for being, "Less of a man," and also says Cochran is to blame for the job loss in the United States and finally says "Charlie Sheen would still be on Two and Half Men if it weren't for Cochran." That frickin' Cochran.
The Plan / Tribal Council
Jim wants to give Ozzie the immunity idol and then tell everyone that 10 of the 11 people left in the game have integrity and honesty and only Cochran doesn't. At Tribal Council, Cochran tells people that the reception after the last vote was chilly from his tribe. Jim admits to saying some childish things to Cochran. Of course he also says they have saved Cochran several times and that Cochran is dishonorable person. Whitney thinks she is being vilified and cries a river. Jim then gives his best "This would be a good time to send a message to future players that you can win this game with ingerity." All he needed was a pulpit, the setting of the Lincoln monument and a picture of Martin Luther King and it would have been perfect. Notice he didn't say "Win with integrity and balls," because when it came time for Jim to determine if he would really give the idol to Ozzie before the vote, he of course backed out. Dude when you say you are going to put yourself out, like Ozzie and Cochran did, you should really follow through because if you don't, your words sort of ring hollow. Ozzie is sent to Redemption Island where he will feed people, embrace them and then beat them. Go Ozzie, go. Oh yeah, I think one of the players wrote Coch&^%$ on their card for Cochran. Let me guess, probably Jim, how immature. Oh yes that girl Whitney who felt vilified switched her vote to friend Ozzie. That should come out at the Reunion Show.
Second Challenge
Eat or challenge. If I was on the tribe with the majority I would have done the challenge for two reason. First, its frickin' Survivor. Secondly, if you win you have full control on who goes home. Vilified Whitney wins. Oh yes, a weary Brandon rests his shoulder on Cochran's neck. How sweet.
The Plan #2
Jim diagrams a play in the sand for Albert and Sophie to vote out Edna. Albert thinks Jim has a good idea but is more key on getting Dawn out who is really fitting in with the dominant group now. The group does the smart thing and rids itself of Jim. By the say, Edna is still playing for those of you keeping score at home. Have no idea where she has been hiding, but she is still in the game. and oh yes, Cochran makes a fashion statement with his new coat.
Next Week.
Albert is making a play and Coach doesn't like it. Ozzie climbs a tree. Jim blames Cochran for JoePa being fired at Penn State.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Red Haired Step Child / Part 2
Here is a question I pose to the fans of this blog pertaining to Cochran and Ozzie.
The Savaii tribe has done their best to berate, tear down and basically run Cochran into the ground since the game started. Keith was rude to him, Whitney basically followed suit and Jim called him a coward. The only one that was nice to him was Dawn. A question comes to mind though. Remember back to the infamous "Rope" challenge that Cochran screwed up and Ozzie went off on him at tribal council and then the tribe sent Ozzie to Redemption Island. Ozzie picks Cochran to give his idol to for safe keeping while he is at Redemption Island. At that point it no longer belongs to Ozzie. Why did he give the idol to the person who he considered to be the weakest link on his tribe? He could have just as easily given it to his right hand man Keith, or Whitney or Jim. If I am one of those three I would be asking that question. I think the Ozzie - Cochran partnership isn't over.
The Savaii tribe has done their best to berate, tear down and basically run Cochran into the ground since the game started. Keith was rude to him, Whitney basically followed suit and Jim called him a coward. The only one that was nice to him was Dawn. A question comes to mind though. Remember back to the infamous "Rope" challenge that Cochran screwed up and Ozzie went off on him at tribal council and then the tribe sent Ozzie to Redemption Island. Ozzie picks Cochran to give his idol to for safe keeping while he is at Redemption Island. At that point it no longer belongs to Ozzie. Why did he give the idol to the person who he considered to be the weakest link on his tribe? He could have just as easily given it to his right hand man Keith, or Whitney or Jim. If I am one of those three I would be asking that question. I think the Ozzie - Cochran partnership isn't over.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Red Haired Step-Child stands up
Mis-Quote of the week.
"You are a coward." Jim's quote to Cochran at last night's tribal council.
Was last night fun or what? I can compare it to your neighbor's wife finding out that her husband, (that guy you who never returns the tools he borrows from you and is a real tool himself) went to a strip club and she is berating him on the front lawn. All you do is pull it out a lawn chair, open up a beer and enjoy the show.
Savaii Day 18
This tribe continues to bitch about and berate Cochran to his face and then say those words that I hate, "Don't take it personnel." It reminds of that one phone commercial where the lady is watering her plants and her husbands comes in and says he just signed them up for some new phone service and she bitches that she should have married the other guy.........and then he says it was all for free. Yeah lady, shut your pie hole. Yes, tell me I ain't worth crap to my face, "but don't take that personnel." I am going to say those words that people hate, "I told you so." Last week this same tribe bitched at Cochran, not because of a decision he made but rather for one they made in voting Ozzie out. More on this later.
Redemption Island
Ozzie beats Christine and Ozzie is back in the game. Polite golf applause and cut.
Okay, Christine who liked nobody and nobody liked her and who had zero chance of winning is now gone. The tribes are merged, there is a feast and we move on.
Oh yeah, Ozzie tried to sell a story of being blindsided to those in attendance and nobody bought it.
Post Redemption Island
For a tribe that openly doesn't want Cochran around and think he is a piece of crap, they sure are putting a lot of faith and trust in this guy to do the right thing, the right thing for them, not necessarily him. We don't like you or want you around but this is what we want you to do. As I am watching this I am thinking, are you people that stupid, really?
Post Merge
Cochran spills the beans to Coach about how he is being treated etc. and Coach, to his credit isn't buying any of it. However, Coach tells him they will protect him if he votes with them. We then see Cochran talking with Dawn and she breaks down because she doesn't think she can vote against people she gave her word to. God love her but she is not Survivor material.
The two tribes.
Savaii has made a pack that they want a tie vote and go to picking marbles. If you aren't familiar with this it means if two people tie then a re-vote is taken and you can only vote for those two people. The difference in the second vote is the two people who tied don't get to vote the second time. If there is still a tie, then the two people who tied are now immune and safe and the remaining people pick marbles and whoever gets the black marble is out. So in effect you now have a one in ten chance of going home.
Challenge
Balancing a coconut on two strings while balancing yourself on a block of wood. Try this at home sometime, it ain't easy. Dawn wins immunity for the women and Ozzie for the men.
Pre-Tribal
Both tribes are working Cochran hard. I understood each side doing their best to keep all six votes going to one person. The only question was if Cochran was going to flip.
Tribal
I wrote down that I think Cochran is going to flip prior to the vote. Jim says there is a zero chance that someone will defect. Edna says someone who isn't incorporated into their tribe may flip, how poetic. Sophie tells the group that Ozzie's tactic at the Redemption Island challenge were pathetic and this has Ozzie admitting the same.
The vote is taken and then Ozzie gives his idol to Whitney. Whitney? I didn't get this at all. Tie vote between Rick and Keith and then Cochran flips and Keith is sent packing. But my question is where? It appeared he was sent to Redemption Island.
The fallout and next week.
Jim calls Cochran a coward and won't talk to him, Whitney has words for Cochran and Ozzie has lost his faith. You know what, too bad. Unbeknownst to you he might have just saved you from picking the black marble you knucklehead. You should be thanking him. You people treated him like crap.
The fun has begun.
"You are a coward." Jim's quote to Cochran at last night's tribal council.
Was last night fun or what? I can compare it to your neighbor's wife finding out that her husband, (that guy you who never returns the tools he borrows from you and is a real tool himself) went to a strip club and she is berating him on the front lawn. All you do is pull it out a lawn chair, open up a beer and enjoy the show.
Savaii Day 18
This tribe continues to bitch about and berate Cochran to his face and then say those words that I hate, "Don't take it personnel." It reminds of that one phone commercial where the lady is watering her plants and her husbands comes in and says he just signed them up for some new phone service and she bitches that she should have married the other guy.........and then he says it was all for free. Yeah lady, shut your pie hole. Yes, tell me I ain't worth crap to my face, "but don't take that personnel." I am going to say those words that people hate, "I told you so." Last week this same tribe bitched at Cochran, not because of a decision he made but rather for one they made in voting Ozzie out. More on this later.
Redemption Island
Ozzie beats Christine and Ozzie is back in the game. Polite golf applause and cut.
Okay, Christine who liked nobody and nobody liked her and who had zero chance of winning is now gone. The tribes are merged, there is a feast and we move on.
Oh yeah, Ozzie tried to sell a story of being blindsided to those in attendance and nobody bought it.
Post Redemption Island
For a tribe that openly doesn't want Cochran around and think he is a piece of crap, they sure are putting a lot of faith and trust in this guy to do the right thing, the right thing for them, not necessarily him. We don't like you or want you around but this is what we want you to do. As I am watching this I am thinking, are you people that stupid, really?
Post Merge
Cochran spills the beans to Coach about how he is being treated etc. and Coach, to his credit isn't buying any of it. However, Coach tells him they will protect him if he votes with them. We then see Cochran talking with Dawn and she breaks down because she doesn't think she can vote against people she gave her word to. God love her but she is not Survivor material.
The two tribes.
Savaii has made a pack that they want a tie vote and go to picking marbles. If you aren't familiar with this it means if two people tie then a re-vote is taken and you can only vote for those two people. The difference in the second vote is the two people who tied don't get to vote the second time. If there is still a tie, then the two people who tied are now immune and safe and the remaining people pick marbles and whoever gets the black marble is out. So in effect you now have a one in ten chance of going home.
Challenge
Balancing a coconut on two strings while balancing yourself on a block of wood. Try this at home sometime, it ain't easy. Dawn wins immunity for the women and Ozzie for the men.
Pre-Tribal
Both tribes are working Cochran hard. I understood each side doing their best to keep all six votes going to one person. The only question was if Cochran was going to flip.
Tribal
I wrote down that I think Cochran is going to flip prior to the vote. Jim says there is a zero chance that someone will defect. Edna says someone who isn't incorporated into their tribe may flip, how poetic. Sophie tells the group that Ozzie's tactic at the Redemption Island challenge were pathetic and this has Ozzie admitting the same.
The vote is taken and then Ozzie gives his idol to Whitney. Whitney? I didn't get this at all. Tie vote between Rick and Keith and then Cochran flips and Keith is sent packing. But my question is where? It appeared he was sent to Redemption Island.
The fallout and next week.
Jim calls Cochran a coward and won't talk to him, Whitney has words for Cochran and Ozzie has lost his faith. You know what, too bad. Unbeknownst to you he might have just saved you from picking the black marble you knucklehead. You should be thanking him. You people treated him like crap.
The fun has begun.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
A Simple (Dumbass) Plan
Dear Andy,
What in thee hell was Jim saying to his tribe when he was screaming out directions during the challenge?
Leroy Pentz / Jackson, Mississippi
Leroy,
I haven't heard the phrase, "What in thee Hell," uttered since my grandpa died about thirty years, thanks for the memories. Jim was saying the same thing that Charlie Browns' teacher says each year on their holiday specials, "Waa, waa, waaaaa, waaaaa, waa, waa, waa." Clear as mud to me.
Andy
P.S. Hey Leroy, tell me you hang out with a guy named Russell who wears overalls, work boots and a t-shirt with an arrow pointing toward you that says, "I'm with Stupid."
Upolu
Edna is nervous because her name keeps coming up everyday when the tribe is talking about voting people out. Rick is concerned with Brandon, well with Brandon being Brandon. Coach attempts to keep a lid on the dis-oriente family, afterall his alliance consists of a lady who helps out during brain surgery and a guy who would probably benefit from brain surgery. Frontal Lobotomy anyone?
Redemption Island
Christine and Mikayla have to build a bridge with puzzle pieces and then dismantle the bridge and put the puzzle together. Oz and Cochran from Savaii and Albert and Sophie from Upolu watch as Christine stays alive the fifth consecutive challenge.
One thing to point out here, observer Albert was yelling directions to Mikayla. Now I like Mikayla but that ain't cool. Another thing, Christine may make her way back into this game, but she won't have any friends upon her return as she continues to be "A Stupid Bitch," according to Cochran.
Savaii
Ozzie hatches a plan that if his tribe loses then he wants his tribe to vote him off to go to Redemption Island to go against Christine in effort to break her winning streak. He thinks it might be the most iconic idea in the history of Survivor. I will re-visit what I think is maybe the most stupid idea in the history of Surivor, later in this rant. I need to digest my breakfast first.
Upolu
Coach hatches a plan for the group to go out and look for the hidden idol which he has already found. Coach then gets the group together to pray (The first prayer meeting of the night) for God's help in doing what you might ask? Praying for God's help in finding the idol that he has already found. It took Sophie all of about one second to find the praying uncomfortable for her because she and Albert know that Coach already has the idol. Throw in the fact that the two other people that Coach continues to preach honesty and intregity to think it is amazing that Coach finds the idol after his prayer. God be praised, ........ well sort of.
Challenge
Coach holds a second power prayer meeting prior to the challenge asking for God's help to keep the strong. They formed a circle, prayed and then broke the huddle with a loud, "Go God." As I have said before, whenever you put blindfolds on people to play a game, you can't help but have fun. One person yelling directions to two sets of blindfolded tribe mates through an obstacle course to bring back puzzle pieces. Don't you just love it when someone walks right into a post or beam, makes me laugh because its not me. Jim was doing a great job of yelling God knows what at his tribe mates on Savaii and they have a big lead until.....well until they put the smartest guy on the island, Cochran, in charge of the guide ropes. This is why you never let people like Bill Gates attempt to change the oil in his own car. The richest guy on the planet works with computers but if you hand him a oil filter wrench he becomes Bart Simpson, "Is this for tightening my nuts?" Upolu comes from behind to win and Oz Man goes nuts because his team lost. Upolu wins and Coach leads the team in a 3rd team prayer and thanks God for all the great movies Adam Sandler has provided through the years, "Go God."
The Simple (Dumbass) Plan
Ozzie convinces his tribe to vote him out. Yes folks because this was such a stupid idea I'm not even going to have a tribal council section this week. Several issues here. First, here is a guy who was blindsided and didn't play an hidden immunity idol in a season past and was eliminated. So this time instead of being blindsided he wants to be put on Redemption and go against a girl he considers a threat, why? Let someone else get dirty. Second, your tribe wants you to stay and get rid of one of the weakest players ever in Cochran which means you go from being in the top twelve to top eleven. Third, you consider Cochran to be a very weak player and you just gave him your idol which means, it ain't your idol anymore. And if I'm Cochran I am keeping it for myself if for nothing else, everyone has told me I suck. Take it to the merge and use it to your advantage. Fourth, you want to keep your tribe strong and if they lose another challege before the merge and you lose your challenge, one of the weakest players will use the idol and another strong player from your alliance will be lost. Fifth, if you lose on Redemption Island you finish 13th, you just lost a position. Sixth, you will go down as having made one of the most thought out worst decisions ever in Survivor History. Stupid is as stupid does. Oz Man, love you but you are playing this game stupid. Finally, you must lay blame on the tribe for letting this happen also because they are assuming the merge is coming. I think they just lost total control of this game.
Quote of the week
I can't take credit for the quote of the week but when Jim said, "If we vote Ozzie out then Dawn becomes our third guy and John Cochran is our fourth guy." Classic.
What in thee hell was Jim saying to his tribe when he was screaming out directions during the challenge?
Leroy Pentz / Jackson, Mississippi
Leroy,
I haven't heard the phrase, "What in thee Hell," uttered since my grandpa died about thirty years, thanks for the memories. Jim was saying the same thing that Charlie Browns' teacher says each year on their holiday specials, "Waa, waa, waaaaa, waaaaa, waa, waa, waa." Clear as mud to me.
Andy
P.S. Hey Leroy, tell me you hang out with a guy named Russell who wears overalls, work boots and a t-shirt with an arrow pointing toward you that says, "I'm with Stupid."
Upolu
Edna is nervous because her name keeps coming up everyday when the tribe is talking about voting people out. Rick is concerned with Brandon, well with Brandon being Brandon. Coach attempts to keep a lid on the dis-oriente family, afterall his alliance consists of a lady who helps out during brain surgery and a guy who would probably benefit from brain surgery. Frontal Lobotomy anyone?
Redemption Island
Christine and Mikayla have to build a bridge with puzzle pieces and then dismantle the bridge and put the puzzle together. Oz and Cochran from Savaii and Albert and Sophie from Upolu watch as Christine stays alive the fifth consecutive challenge.
One thing to point out here, observer Albert was yelling directions to Mikayla. Now I like Mikayla but that ain't cool. Another thing, Christine may make her way back into this game, but she won't have any friends upon her return as she continues to be "A Stupid Bitch," according to Cochran.
Savaii
Ozzie hatches a plan that if his tribe loses then he wants his tribe to vote him off to go to Redemption Island to go against Christine in effort to break her winning streak. He thinks it might be the most iconic idea in the history of Survivor. I will re-visit what I think is maybe the most stupid idea in the history of Surivor, later in this rant. I need to digest my breakfast first.
Upolu
Coach hatches a plan for the group to go out and look for the hidden idol which he has already found. Coach then gets the group together to pray (The first prayer meeting of the night) for God's help in doing what you might ask? Praying for God's help in finding the idol that he has already found. It took Sophie all of about one second to find the praying uncomfortable for her because she and Albert know that Coach already has the idol. Throw in the fact that the two other people that Coach continues to preach honesty and intregity to think it is amazing that Coach finds the idol after his prayer. God be praised, ........ well sort of.
Challenge
Coach holds a second power prayer meeting prior to the challenge asking for God's help to keep the strong. They formed a circle, prayed and then broke the huddle with a loud, "Go God." As I have said before, whenever you put blindfolds on people to play a game, you can't help but have fun. One person yelling directions to two sets of blindfolded tribe mates through an obstacle course to bring back puzzle pieces. Don't you just love it when someone walks right into a post or beam, makes me laugh because its not me. Jim was doing a great job of yelling God knows what at his tribe mates on Savaii and they have a big lead until.....well until they put the smartest guy on the island, Cochran, in charge of the guide ropes. This is why you never let people like Bill Gates attempt to change the oil in his own car. The richest guy on the planet works with computers but if you hand him a oil filter wrench he becomes Bart Simpson, "Is this for tightening my nuts?" Upolu comes from behind to win and Oz Man goes nuts because his team lost. Upolu wins and Coach leads the team in a 3rd team prayer and thanks God for all the great movies Adam Sandler has provided through the years, "Go God."
The Simple (Dumbass) Plan
Ozzie convinces his tribe to vote him out. Yes folks because this was such a stupid idea I'm not even going to have a tribal council section this week. Several issues here. First, here is a guy who was blindsided and didn't play an hidden immunity idol in a season past and was eliminated. So this time instead of being blindsided he wants to be put on Redemption and go against a girl he considers a threat, why? Let someone else get dirty. Second, your tribe wants you to stay and get rid of one of the weakest players ever in Cochran which means you go from being in the top twelve to top eleven. Third, you consider Cochran to be a very weak player and you just gave him your idol which means, it ain't your idol anymore. And if I'm Cochran I am keeping it for myself if for nothing else, everyone has told me I suck. Take it to the merge and use it to your advantage. Fourth, you want to keep your tribe strong and if they lose another challege before the merge and you lose your challenge, one of the weakest players will use the idol and another strong player from your alliance will be lost. Fifth, if you lose on Redemption Island you finish 13th, you just lost a position. Sixth, you will go down as having made one of the most thought out worst decisions ever in Survivor History. Stupid is as stupid does. Oz Man, love you but you are playing this game stupid. Finally, you must lay blame on the tribe for letting this happen also because they are assuming the merge is coming. I think they just lost total control of this game.
Quote of the week
I can't take credit for the quote of the week but when Jim said, "If we vote Ozzie out then Dawn becomes our third guy and John Cochran is our fourth guy." Classic.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
West by God Virginia
In flipping through the channels Sunday I came across this docu-drug-a-welfare-sleepwithyourcousin-mentary. If you want to visit this families' website simply put the following address into your web browser. The names have not been changed to protect the stupid.
http://wildandwonderfulwhites.com/
My Wonderful White Family Rant
This was the best "Willie Nelson, two front teeth, screw your cousin, no job, drinkin', snortin' cocaine, tap dancin', banjo playin', watchin' eleven years old smokin', pickup truck drivin', put your boobs away this is church, got married in Wal Mart, just got out of jail, dug my mom's own grave, typecast, West Virginia profiling movie I have ever seen, EVER." Even Deliverence star Burt Reynolds would have shed a tear watching this movie.
In a nutshell for one year they followed the family escapades of the The Wonderful Whites. Among the highlights:
-) The now deceased father, D. Rae White, was a tap dancing king who traveled the county fairs state wide plying his trade and yes Virginia, there is video.
-) Mother Berta Mae is seen celebrating her 85th birthday with three of her remaining kids who give her a cake, sing her happy birthday, drink beer, smoke doob and take snorts of cocaine in mom's apartment. Did I mention mom also had four dogs living in the house? She dies at the end and you see the family actually digging her grave by hand at the cemetery. (Sorry to give away the ending so soon)
-) Daughter Sue Bob, is a former stripper and we catch up with her in time to see her son Brandon, age 21, being sentenced to fifty years in jail for shooting the neighbor guy who called his mom a tramp. Are you surprised by this?
-) Daughter Kirk is seen going to the hospital to give birth to her baby girl who is fathered by a guy named Dennis (Not her husband or boyfriend, but a guy named Dennis) We then see the family taking her to rehab because the hospital just found drugs in the newborns system. What are the frickin' odds?
-) Next we see the family picking up grand daughter Mousie on the day she is released from prison. (I am not making this stuff up) As God as my witness, the family, having just picked Mousie up from prison, take her over to pick up her husband Charlie who is at his girlfriend's doublewide. (Re-read that last sentence again about three times) The family then takes Mousie and her husband to visit the Wal-Mart they got married in a few years ago and then take them back to the trailer they own so they can have sex.
The most important thing I learned from this documentary? Families is West Virginia have to own a reliable van because:
-) They need it on wedding days to get to the Wal Mart on time.
-) You need a good van to get to court on time to see your kids getting sentenced. (Kids will always remember you not showing up for their sentencing.)
-) You never want to be late to pick up relatives being released from prison.
-) It makes for a comfortable weekend ride to rehab centers.
-) Finally, it is roomy for those times when you have to pick up relatives who are cheating on their spouses.
What more can I say?
Andy
http://wildandwonderfulwhites.com/
My Wonderful White Family Rant
This was the best "Willie Nelson, two front teeth, screw your cousin, no job, drinkin', snortin' cocaine, tap dancin', banjo playin', watchin' eleven years old smokin', pickup truck drivin', put your boobs away this is church, got married in Wal Mart, just got out of jail, dug my mom's own grave, typecast, West Virginia profiling movie I have ever seen, EVER." Even Deliverence star Burt Reynolds would have shed a tear watching this movie.
In a nutshell for one year they followed the family escapades of the The Wonderful Whites. Among the highlights:
-) The now deceased father, D. Rae White, was a tap dancing king who traveled the county fairs state wide plying his trade and yes Virginia, there is video.
-) Mother Berta Mae is seen celebrating her 85th birthday with three of her remaining kids who give her a cake, sing her happy birthday, drink beer, smoke doob and take snorts of cocaine in mom's apartment. Did I mention mom also had four dogs living in the house? She dies at the end and you see the family actually digging her grave by hand at the cemetery. (Sorry to give away the ending so soon)
-) Daughter Sue Bob, is a former stripper and we catch up with her in time to see her son Brandon, age 21, being sentenced to fifty years in jail for shooting the neighbor guy who called his mom a tramp. Are you surprised by this?
-) Daughter Kirk is seen going to the hospital to give birth to her baby girl who is fathered by a guy named Dennis (Not her husband or boyfriend, but a guy named Dennis) We then see the family taking her to rehab because the hospital just found drugs in the newborns system. What are the frickin' odds?
-) Next we see the family picking up grand daughter Mousie on the day she is released from prison. (I am not making this stuff up) As God as my witness, the family, having just picked Mousie up from prison, take her over to pick up her husband Charlie who is at his girlfriend's doublewide. (Re-read that last sentence again about three times) The family then takes Mousie and her husband to visit the Wal-Mart they got married in a few years ago and then take them back to the trailer they own so they can have sex.
The most important thing I learned from this documentary? Families is West Virginia have to own a reliable van because:
-) They need it on wedding days to get to the Wal Mart on time.
-) You need a good van to get to court on time to see your kids getting sentenced. (Kids will always remember you not showing up for their sentencing.)
-) You never want to be late to pick up relatives being released from prison.
-) It makes for a comfortable weekend ride to rehab centers.
-) Finally, it is roomy for those times when you have to pick up relatives who are cheating on their spouses.
What more can I say?
Andy
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wheelbarrows, Shuffleboard and Crybabies
Email of the Week
Dear Andy,
Ozzie says he wants to be a Free Agent. What does that mean?
Fred Osborn, Tempe AZ
Dear Fred,
A free agent is when your ten year old son comes to you and says he will continue to mow the lawn but now he wants twenty dollars a week because his buddy Timmy gets that much for mowing his lawn. Being the good dad you are, you and your son go over to Timmy's house with the lawn mower and you tell Timmy's dad your son will mow their laws for fifteen bucks. Free agency is created, your son makes more money and that asshole Timmy now knows to keep his piehole shut.
Andy
Savaii
On the return from Tribal Council Ozzie declares free agency and tells everyone they everyone can play the game for themselves. He uses the "I thought we had an alliance," card. Keith thinks he took it too personnel, Cochran calls him a crybaby, Jim wants an apology and Whitney wants Oz to man up. Myself, I want 2 for 1 lap dances at the strip club, but that's just me. While we are on the subject ladies, is there such a term as "woman up?" Just askin'. If so what does it mean?
Redemption Island
We see Christine flip off Rick when he says hi. She needs to write a book on social graces and winning friends, I would be first in line to get a copy. Christine beats Elyse in shuffleboard. I am happy for her because Christine can now add to her resume that she beat a Miss America runner up in a game of shuffleboard in the losers bracket of Survivor, priceless. Miss Congeniality is still in this game.
Upolu
Observations. Coach wants people to be up front and honest. We then see Coach observing Brandon who is looking for the idol. He makes no effort to tell Brandon that he himself has the idol. I guess Coach wants "other people" to be up front and honest. It is the same thing as Keith, he wants "other people" to not take it personnel when someone from another alliance is voted out. Finally, where is Brandon's head. If he would stop and think for even one second. He is busting his butt looking for the idol while Coach and Albert are doing what? They are watching him look for the idol. He even asks them if they think someone already found the idol. Use some logic dude.
Savaii
Oz man apologizes to the group. Jim makes a great obversation about the Oz man. He wants to keep Oz around because he could help them win challenges after the merge but he also has a big target on his back and should be easy to vote out.
Challenge
Put together a wheelbarrow, haul coconuts, assemble a sling shot and then shoot targets. Loved this challenge. Upolu got off to a huge lead and then Albert, Coach and Mikayla couldn't hit enough targets. Coach blames Mikayla for not being able to hit targets. Um dude, there were three of you shooting and I could be wrong, Albert was the only to hit a target. Even if Mikayla doesn't shoot anymore, you weren't really hitting anything either. To repeat what I said to Timmy earlier, Coach shut your piehole. Savaii enjoys immunity, food and a natural water slide as reward.
Pretribal
Edna or Mikayla? To quote Mikayla, "Edna is half my size and twice my age." You need to keep Mikayla over Edna for several reasons. Edna was the only one who talked to Coach early on in this game so you know they are bonded now. Edna is smart while Mikayla is strong. If you aren't in the alliance with a smart person, you need to get rid of them before or early in the merge stage or they will dominate later on. You need to listen to their ideas, steal these ideas, vote them out and use their ideas. This isn't how this game is played but rather how it is won. In Mikayla you have a female Ozzie on your team who, while she is nice and strong, she really isn't a strategy hound. This is the phase of the game where the game slowly moves from physical to smarts. The only person who I think can dominate this season both smart wise and physically is Albert. I don't think Keith, Oz or Mikayla are smart enough to win. At least they haven't demonstrated that.
Tribal
If people want to win this game they really need to pay attention to what other people say at Tribal Council. Albert says, "People can fake loyalty, but not strength." Great point. Coach tops him by saying, "Sometimes you can be too honest in this game, you need to hide some cards." that in itself revealed a little bit about both players. Albert isn't hiding his strength while Coach is hiding something, um, maybe an idol. Rick makes a mistake by voting Mikayla. If memory serves he didn't want Coach around at all from the beginning and now he votes with him to get rid of Mikayla? That is how you lose this game. If he had listened to Albert he would have realized they had the same opportunity this week to do what Savaii did last week and take out a key person on the rival alliance. You had them by the balls and released your grip. In Survivor when opportunities like this arise to take control you need to grab hold, and you whiffed here. Had you voted out Edna it would have left Coach and Brandon against the other four. Missed opportunity and now Albert and Sophie wonder if they can trust you.
Next week.
Merge or not to merge. ON a side note, Jim is the guy to beat in my opinion. He is the second coming of Richard Hatch, only he doesn't walk around naked.
Dear Andy,
Ozzie says he wants to be a Free Agent. What does that mean?
Fred Osborn, Tempe AZ
Dear Fred,
A free agent is when your ten year old son comes to you and says he will continue to mow the lawn but now he wants twenty dollars a week because his buddy Timmy gets that much for mowing his lawn. Being the good dad you are, you and your son go over to Timmy's house with the lawn mower and you tell Timmy's dad your son will mow their laws for fifteen bucks. Free agency is created, your son makes more money and that asshole Timmy now knows to keep his piehole shut.
Andy
Savaii
On the return from Tribal Council Ozzie declares free agency and tells everyone they everyone can play the game for themselves. He uses the "I thought we had an alliance," card. Keith thinks he took it too personnel, Cochran calls him a crybaby, Jim wants an apology and Whitney wants Oz to man up. Myself, I want 2 for 1 lap dances at the strip club, but that's just me. While we are on the subject ladies, is there such a term as "woman up?" Just askin'. If so what does it mean?
Redemption Island
We see Christine flip off Rick when he says hi. She needs to write a book on social graces and winning friends, I would be first in line to get a copy. Christine beats Elyse in shuffleboard. I am happy for her because Christine can now add to her resume that she beat a Miss America runner up in a game of shuffleboard in the losers bracket of Survivor, priceless. Miss Congeniality is still in this game.
Upolu
Observations. Coach wants people to be up front and honest. We then see Coach observing Brandon who is looking for the idol. He makes no effort to tell Brandon that he himself has the idol. I guess Coach wants "other people" to be up front and honest. It is the same thing as Keith, he wants "other people" to not take it personnel when someone from another alliance is voted out. Finally, where is Brandon's head. If he would stop and think for even one second. He is busting his butt looking for the idol while Coach and Albert are doing what? They are watching him look for the idol. He even asks them if they think someone already found the idol. Use some logic dude.
Savaii
Oz man apologizes to the group. Jim makes a great obversation about the Oz man. He wants to keep Oz around because he could help them win challenges after the merge but he also has a big target on his back and should be easy to vote out.
Challenge
Put together a wheelbarrow, haul coconuts, assemble a sling shot and then shoot targets. Loved this challenge. Upolu got off to a huge lead and then Albert, Coach and Mikayla couldn't hit enough targets. Coach blames Mikayla for not being able to hit targets. Um dude, there were three of you shooting and I could be wrong, Albert was the only to hit a target. Even if Mikayla doesn't shoot anymore, you weren't really hitting anything either. To repeat what I said to Timmy earlier, Coach shut your piehole. Savaii enjoys immunity, food and a natural water slide as reward.
Pretribal
Edna or Mikayla? To quote Mikayla, "Edna is half my size and twice my age." You need to keep Mikayla over Edna for several reasons. Edna was the only one who talked to Coach early on in this game so you know they are bonded now. Edna is smart while Mikayla is strong. If you aren't in the alliance with a smart person, you need to get rid of them before or early in the merge stage or they will dominate later on. You need to listen to their ideas, steal these ideas, vote them out and use their ideas. This isn't how this game is played but rather how it is won. In Mikayla you have a female Ozzie on your team who, while she is nice and strong, she really isn't a strategy hound. This is the phase of the game where the game slowly moves from physical to smarts. The only person who I think can dominate this season both smart wise and physically is Albert. I don't think Keith, Oz or Mikayla are smart enough to win. At least they haven't demonstrated that.
Tribal
If people want to win this game they really need to pay attention to what other people say at Tribal Council. Albert says, "People can fake loyalty, but not strength." Great point. Coach tops him by saying, "Sometimes you can be too honest in this game, you need to hide some cards." that in itself revealed a little bit about both players. Albert isn't hiding his strength while Coach is hiding something, um, maybe an idol. Rick makes a mistake by voting Mikayla. If memory serves he didn't want Coach around at all from the beginning and now he votes with him to get rid of Mikayla? That is how you lose this game. If he had listened to Albert he would have realized they had the same opportunity this week to do what Savaii did last week and take out a key person on the rival alliance. You had them by the balls and released your grip. In Survivor when opportunities like this arise to take control you need to grab hold, and you whiffed here. Had you voted out Edna it would have left Coach and Brandon against the other four. Missed opportunity and now Albert and Sophie wonder if they can trust you.
Next week.
Merge or not to merge. ON a side note, Jim is the guy to beat in my opinion. He is the second coming of Richard Hatch, only he doesn't walk around naked.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
School Lunches
After watching last night's episode I got to thinking, wouldn't it be great if you could just send your kids to school and have them rip meat off a carcass and start chewing? Disease or not it would make lunch period a lot more interesting.
Upolu
Will Jim, Harvard and Dawn really go after the Oz-man and Elyse?
Redemption (I hate everybody) Island
Stacey and Christine tell us they hate everyone and everyone is fake. I even got a text from Stacey which said, "Andy you suck too." What did I do? Stacey tells us she is going to spill the beans about Coach and Albert. Oh yeah, she also says she is going to tell everyone that Coach doesn't like being called Benjamin.
Savaii
Brandon cries again and we are reminded that he doesn't want people to think of him in the same light as his uncle Russell. For the love of God man, could you tell us something new next week like your mom sells Avon or your dad grows pot in his backyard, something, anything new.
Redemption Island Challenge
Catching tennis balls rolling down a chute. I hope I never have to do this challenge because I think I would get sick concentrating on three or four balls going in circles. Prior to the challenge Stacey comes through and tells those people watching: Dawn, Whitney, Albert and Mikayla that Coach is in charge and don't trust him. Stacey then loses the challenge, mounts her broom and flies back to the castle to plan her attack on the people of earth with the Winged Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.
Savaii
Albert and Mikayla tell the group about Stacey's outburst and Coach steps up and says: "Anybody calls me Benjamin and I will get pissed." Coach, don't be that guy. I respect you Coach but sooner or later I will call you Benjamin especially if you tell me not to because, that't how I role. Never tell anybody what sets you off, you know why, because they will do exactly what you told them not to do. You tell me you hate Bud Light, guess who is getting two cases of Bud Light for a Christmas present?
Upolu
Jim, Harvard and Dawn are planning their takeover against the Oz-man. Cochran notices that Ozzie is a provider but that he is, "Sort of a lazy ass." Okay class, what have I been saying? Ozzie hasn't changed one bit from his last two appearances on Survivor. Here is his MO. He comes out as a tough competitor in challenges, he collects fish, he finds a girl he likes and..................keeps his hair combed and looks good without a shirt. The only difference between Ozzie and me is, he gets all the girls, keeps his hair combed and looks good without a shirt. Other than that you could never tell us apart. His concentration is on the girl laying in the hammock, not the game. Some people never change. You never see him talking strategy with anybody, he just assumes that since he is the Great Oz, everyone will do what he says. Oh yes, he did make a huge mistake that Jim picked up when he said Coach should get rid of Albert on the other team. Basically you want to be the only stud in the tribe to win the women over but no strategy in winning the game.
Savaii
Finally, someone is looking for the idol in this tribe. Sophie, Albert and Coach work together and Coach finds it. I think this was a great move on their part because they were looking for the idol together, as a group. By the way, I think Sophie is going to go a long way in this game and could win it. She has some very intelligent comments and if she gains a little confidence, she could win. Oh yeah anyone notice the idol was found "In a hole in a tree." Why don't you just hide it in someone's shoe and give the clue, "You will find the idol in something you put your foot into." That would limit your choices to a pile of crap, your mouth or your shoe. Can we have someone other than Mrs. Jacobs 2nd grade class in Dover Delaware give clues on how to find the idol and where it is hidden? DAH, the idol is in something you carry your books home from school in? DAH, my mom's car? DAH, its under my arm? Oh, my bookbag.
Upolu
Ozzie says these people are becoming his tribe. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah about one minute before when Coach says, "We have this game by the balls."
Challenge
Grabbing meat by your mouth off a carcass of a pig and spitting into a tray. The team with the most meat after a time limit wins. Upolo wins by 2 ounces. I give Mikayla the gold medal here as even with her hands tied behind her back she manages to kneel down and grab a large chunk of meat off the groud and put it into the pan. That piece was every bit of two ounces. And of course as being the winning team they get to take the 20 pounds of meat, that each person already had in their mouths, back to camp to eat along with spices and other winnings. Cochran of course points out the threat of sharing diseases in sharing the meat that has been in everyones mouth. Dude, you have been living outside for twelve days, not having taken a bath, nor changing your underwear and cleaning your behind with whatever leaf is nearby and your are worried about the meat? Really? If you haven't contracted something by now, I don't think the meat is going to hurt you especially if you cook it first.
Upolu
Jim, Dawn and Cochran work their magic on Keith and Whitney. Keith and Whitney talk about not wanting to upset Ozzie so they will just vote for someone else and not Elyse. I love listening to two blondes talk to one another. Well the tornado is a mile down the road do you think we should go to the basement? I don't know, what do you think? Here is exactly why Keith and Whitney won't win, they are more worried about not upsetting Ozzie then winning the game.
Tribal Council
Elyse says something at tribal which simply sets her apart from others when she says about Cochran, "He is a hard worker but sometimes social graces and skills come into play." WTF? This isn't the Miss American pagent, it's Survivor. Elyse is sent packing and can't understand why people she trusted voted her out. Elyse, that's what you get for hanging out in a hammock with Oz-man. You assumed no one was ever going to vote for you.
Next Week
Coach is getting his fill of Brandon. Cochran calls Ozzie a crybaby. Ozzie announces to the group, "I am a free agent." I will say it again, Ozzie is a great povider, a womanizer, but has no clue how to play this game when push comes to shove, absolutely no strategy at all.
Upolu
Will Jim, Harvard and Dawn really go after the Oz-man and Elyse?
Redemption (I hate everybody) Island
Stacey and Christine tell us they hate everyone and everyone is fake. I even got a text from Stacey which said, "Andy you suck too." What did I do? Stacey tells us she is going to spill the beans about Coach and Albert. Oh yeah, she also says she is going to tell everyone that Coach doesn't like being called Benjamin.
Savaii
Brandon cries again and we are reminded that he doesn't want people to think of him in the same light as his uncle Russell. For the love of God man, could you tell us something new next week like your mom sells Avon or your dad grows pot in his backyard, something, anything new.
Redemption Island Challenge
Catching tennis balls rolling down a chute. I hope I never have to do this challenge because I think I would get sick concentrating on three or four balls going in circles. Prior to the challenge Stacey comes through and tells those people watching: Dawn, Whitney, Albert and Mikayla that Coach is in charge and don't trust him. Stacey then loses the challenge, mounts her broom and flies back to the castle to plan her attack on the people of earth with the Winged Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.
Savaii
Albert and Mikayla tell the group about Stacey's outburst and Coach steps up and says: "Anybody calls me Benjamin and I will get pissed." Coach, don't be that guy. I respect you Coach but sooner or later I will call you Benjamin especially if you tell me not to because, that't how I role. Never tell anybody what sets you off, you know why, because they will do exactly what you told them not to do. You tell me you hate Bud Light, guess who is getting two cases of Bud Light for a Christmas present?
Upolu
Jim, Harvard and Dawn are planning their takeover against the Oz-man. Cochran notices that Ozzie is a provider but that he is, "Sort of a lazy ass." Okay class, what have I been saying? Ozzie hasn't changed one bit from his last two appearances on Survivor. Here is his MO. He comes out as a tough competitor in challenges, he collects fish, he finds a girl he likes and..................keeps his hair combed and looks good without a shirt. The only difference between Ozzie and me is, he gets all the girls, keeps his hair combed and looks good without a shirt. Other than that you could never tell us apart. His concentration is on the girl laying in the hammock, not the game. Some people never change. You never see him talking strategy with anybody, he just assumes that since he is the Great Oz, everyone will do what he says. Oh yes, he did make a huge mistake that Jim picked up when he said Coach should get rid of Albert on the other team. Basically you want to be the only stud in the tribe to win the women over but no strategy in winning the game.
Savaii
Finally, someone is looking for the idol in this tribe. Sophie, Albert and Coach work together and Coach finds it. I think this was a great move on their part because they were looking for the idol together, as a group. By the way, I think Sophie is going to go a long way in this game and could win it. She has some very intelligent comments and if she gains a little confidence, she could win. Oh yeah anyone notice the idol was found "In a hole in a tree." Why don't you just hide it in someone's shoe and give the clue, "You will find the idol in something you put your foot into." That would limit your choices to a pile of crap, your mouth or your shoe. Can we have someone other than Mrs. Jacobs 2nd grade class in Dover Delaware give clues on how to find the idol and where it is hidden? DAH, the idol is in something you carry your books home from school in? DAH, my mom's car? DAH, its under my arm? Oh, my bookbag.
Upolu
Ozzie says these people are becoming his tribe. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah about one minute before when Coach says, "We have this game by the balls."
Challenge
Grabbing meat by your mouth off a carcass of a pig and spitting into a tray. The team with the most meat after a time limit wins. Upolo wins by 2 ounces. I give Mikayla the gold medal here as even with her hands tied behind her back she manages to kneel down and grab a large chunk of meat off the groud and put it into the pan. That piece was every bit of two ounces. And of course as being the winning team they get to take the 20 pounds of meat, that each person already had in their mouths, back to camp to eat along with spices and other winnings. Cochran of course points out the threat of sharing diseases in sharing the meat that has been in everyones mouth. Dude, you have been living outside for twelve days, not having taken a bath, nor changing your underwear and cleaning your behind with whatever leaf is nearby and your are worried about the meat? Really? If you haven't contracted something by now, I don't think the meat is going to hurt you especially if you cook it first.
Upolu
Jim, Dawn and Cochran work their magic on Keith and Whitney. Keith and Whitney talk about not wanting to upset Ozzie so they will just vote for someone else and not Elyse. I love listening to two blondes talk to one another. Well the tornado is a mile down the road do you think we should go to the basement? I don't know, what do you think? Here is exactly why Keith and Whitney won't win, they are more worried about not upsetting Ozzie then winning the game.
Tribal Council
Elyse says something at tribal which simply sets her apart from others when she says about Cochran, "He is a hard worker but sometimes social graces and skills come into play." WTF? This isn't the Miss American pagent, it's Survivor. Elyse is sent packing and can't understand why people she trusted voted her out. Elyse, that's what you get for hanging out in a hammock with Oz-man. You assumed no one was ever going to vote for you.
Next Week
Coach is getting his fill of Brandon. Cochran calls Ozzie a crybaby. Ozzie announces to the group, "I am a free agent." I will say it again, Ozzie is a great povider, a womanizer, but has no clue how to play this game when push comes to shove, absolutely no strategy at all.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Apologies and Mormons
I need to start by apologizing to my third grade teacher Mrs. Banks. Back in 1968 I was involved in a pudding fight in the lunch room at Helena Elementary School. It would be easy to blame other people but our 35th class reunion is coming up in 2013, I think it is high time to let bygones be bygones. I also need to explain that Mrs. Banks back then was about five foot nothing and weighed about 300 pounds. Even though she wasn't very tall, I found out that day that she had incredible paddle speed and a nice follow through Had the designated hitter been in effect in baseball back then I think she would have been batting third for the Yankees. So to Mrs. Banks, I am truly sorry that someone else started the pudding fight that I was involved with.
Savaii
Did I call it? Ozzie is snuggling up to yet another girl, yet again, this time Elyse. Have you not learned anything from your past discretions of focusing on the girl and not the game? If memory serves she was a contestant in the Miss America contest a few years back. Don't go down that road again Oz. Have you ever seen the movie Tin Cup where Kevin Costner continues to shoot his ball at the hole on the 17th green even though after five or six attempts it continues to roll into the water?
He loses the tournament but finally makes the shot. Same thing will happen, yet again to Oz Boy.
Upolo
Brandon apologizes to everyone about everthing. Mikayla listens to his apology but reminds us that Brandon's uncle is the terrible Russell from season's past. I do like Mikayla but she has got move on now. Oh by the way if I was dating Mikayla I would be the most popular guy in the world. Ya know why, because my girlfriend plays football in her underwear. Your girlfriends could have piloted a rocket to the sun, your girlfriends could be a doctor yadda, yadda, yadda, my girlfriend plays football in her underwear. That's how guys are. Oh yeah, back to the game. Brandon then tells Edna that she is the sixth person in a five person alliance. Edna is about two classes short of being a doctor (Not a girl who plays football in her underwear, let's not get carried away here) and Edna is very smart, she knows she is in trouble.
Savaii
They get swimsuits, hooray.
Redemption Island
Brandon apologizes to Christine for voting her out. Christine beats Papa Bear in toss across and stays alive.
Upolo
Edna talks a lot. Edna talks more. Edna laughs. Edna laughs more. Edna annoys Stacey.
Enda is being a dick. (Sorry, just had to throw that in) Speaking of Stacey,..............um...........yeah.
Savaii
Jim and Cochran hatching a plan to get rid of Elyse. Good idea, your tribe in becoming the second coming of Rob's plan last season and Ozzie is a big copy cat for doing that again.
Challenge
Weight Lifting and Chickens
It comes down to Stacey and Dawn the Mormon. Dawn wins the power lifting challenge by beating Stacey. Boths girls used their butts as much as they could. I am guessing the Mormons prayer meetings go something like this. Dear Lord, (Everybody stretch) we thank thee (And get those arms above your head high and hold for a three count) for the lovely weather today (And bend at your knees and squat) and for the lovely company (And back up again, hold those bibles high now).........................
I know, I know, the cards and letters will be flowing in this week from the Catholics and Lutherans.
Dear Andy,
We pray as much if not more than the mormons.
Sister Ethel Jones / St. Michaels Church
Pre-Tribal Council
Stacey doesn't know where she stands in the group. Really? Twelve days into this game and you don't talk to anyone or interact with anyone. I would think you know exactly where you stand.
Tribal Council
Um, Stacey gets voted out. The tribe stands up to give her a hug and she says, "Nope it would just be fake." Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd Cut. Bitterness from someone who has no clue how to play this game. I just read her profile, she is a funeral director which makes sense. She never talks to her customers either.
Next Week.
Don't call me Benjamin. Coach speaks up.
Savaii
Did I call it? Ozzie is snuggling up to yet another girl, yet again, this time Elyse. Have you not learned anything from your past discretions of focusing on the girl and not the game? If memory serves she was a contestant in the Miss America contest a few years back. Don't go down that road again Oz. Have you ever seen the movie Tin Cup where Kevin Costner continues to shoot his ball at the hole on the 17th green even though after five or six attempts it continues to roll into the water?
He loses the tournament but finally makes the shot. Same thing will happen, yet again to Oz Boy.
Upolo
Brandon apologizes to everyone about everthing. Mikayla listens to his apology but reminds us that Brandon's uncle is the terrible Russell from season's past. I do like Mikayla but she has got move on now. Oh by the way if I was dating Mikayla I would be the most popular guy in the world. Ya know why, because my girlfriend plays football in her underwear. Your girlfriends could have piloted a rocket to the sun, your girlfriends could be a doctor yadda, yadda, yadda, my girlfriend plays football in her underwear. That's how guys are. Oh yeah, back to the game. Brandon then tells Edna that she is the sixth person in a five person alliance. Edna is about two classes short of being a doctor (Not a girl who plays football in her underwear, let's not get carried away here) and Edna is very smart, she knows she is in trouble.
Savaii
They get swimsuits, hooray.
Redemption Island
Brandon apologizes to Christine for voting her out. Christine beats Papa Bear in toss across and stays alive.
Upolo
Edna talks a lot. Edna talks more. Edna laughs. Edna laughs more. Edna annoys Stacey.
Enda is being a dick. (Sorry, just had to throw that in) Speaking of Stacey,..............um...........yeah.
Savaii
Jim and Cochran hatching a plan to get rid of Elyse. Good idea, your tribe in becoming the second coming of Rob's plan last season and Ozzie is a big copy cat for doing that again.
Challenge
Weight Lifting and Chickens
It comes down to Stacey and Dawn the Mormon. Dawn wins the power lifting challenge by beating Stacey. Boths girls used their butts as much as they could. I am guessing the Mormons prayer meetings go something like this. Dear Lord, (Everybody stretch) we thank thee (And get those arms above your head high and hold for a three count) for the lovely weather today (And bend at your knees and squat) and for the lovely company (And back up again, hold those bibles high now).........................
I know, I know, the cards and letters will be flowing in this week from the Catholics and Lutherans.
Dear Andy,
We pray as much if not more than the mormons.
Sister Ethel Jones / St. Michaels Church
Pre-Tribal Council
Stacey doesn't know where she stands in the group. Really? Twelve days into this game and you don't talk to anyone or interact with anyone. I would think you know exactly where you stand.
Tribal Council
Um, Stacey gets voted out. The tribe stands up to give her a hug and she says, "Nope it would just be fake." Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd Cut. Bitterness from someone who has no clue how to play this game. I just read her profile, she is a funeral director which makes sense. She never talks to her customers either.
Next Week.
Don't call me Benjamin. Coach speaks up.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Applications, VCR's and you
So by happenstance I go to the CBS website last Wednesday, in between getting posters printed for a show in Las Vegas and organizing name tags, signs and assorted items for a trade show in Berlin. Berlin, Germany, not Berlin, Ohio. One Berlin has people eating bratwurst, dancing to polkas and being served beer by big breasted women and the other one is in Germany. But I digress.
Anyhow as CBS always does they changed the rules and dates of when applications are due. This was Wednesday September 28 and the apps are due on Tuesday October 4. Of course I do what I usually do and figured the video would be the hardest part. The next thing I do is jump in my car and go to Wal Mart, only to have the young teenage employee girl with Blue and Orange hair and texting on her phone tell me they don't sell VCR tapes anymore. It didn't bother me that she was texting, it didn't even bother me that she couldn't decide on a hair color, rather that constant popping of her bubble gum and not even looking up at me when she answered my question. I am guessing she was an assistant manager working her way up.
So then I checked the website to see that we could use a different format. Well if you want to see the finished product send me your email I will send a copy which stars my youngest nephew Aidan Farmer age eight. He says stuff that eight years old don't uaually say, sort of like Brick from The Middle. Two weeks ago he was getting ready to run a one mile race with a group of K - 3 kids. At this event they shot off a cannon at the start of each race. The director called the kids in just before the start and explained how the race would start, where they should stand etc. He then asked if there were any questions and Aidan put his hand up and said, "Yeah, how much gun powder do you put into the cannon?" You can't make that crap up.
So anyhow the application is in and if you would like to see the tape, let me know and I will send it.
P.S. If you have any questions for Aidan, please let me know.
Anyhow as CBS always does they changed the rules and dates of when applications are due. This was Wednesday September 28 and the apps are due on Tuesday October 4. Of course I do what I usually do and figured the video would be the hardest part. The next thing I do is jump in my car and go to Wal Mart, only to have the young teenage employee girl with Blue and Orange hair and texting on her phone tell me they don't sell VCR tapes anymore. It didn't bother me that she was texting, it didn't even bother me that she couldn't decide on a hair color, rather that constant popping of her bubble gum and not even looking up at me when she answered my question. I am guessing she was an assistant manager working her way up.
So then I checked the website to see that we could use a different format. Well if you want to see the finished product send me your email I will send a copy which stars my youngest nephew Aidan Farmer age eight. He says stuff that eight years old don't uaually say, sort of like Brick from The Middle. Two weeks ago he was getting ready to run a one mile race with a group of K - 3 kids. At this event they shot off a cannon at the start of each race. The director called the kids in just before the start and explained how the race would start, where they should stand etc. He then asked if there were any questions and Aidan put his hand up and said, "Yeah, how much gun powder do you put into the cannon?" You can't make that crap up.
So anyhow the application is in and if you would like to see the tape, let me know and I will send it.
P.S. If you have any questions for Aidan, please let me know.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Surf's Up
Letter of the Week
Dear Andy,
I wanted to drop you a quick line and tell you that you made a mistake in one of your recent posts when you used the word their, instead of they're. Secondly, I wanted to ask you what you would do with the money if you ever won the million?
Cindy Lewis - Providence, Rhode Island
Dear Cindy,
The first thing I would do with the money would be to go out and buy you a dictionary so you know how to spell the word "Road" correctly. Are you an english teacher by chance, if so that would be so ironical.
Ahndy Fhairbanks - Cholumbus, Hohio.
Upolu
Brandon feels bad for lying last week and Coach assures him he is still got his back. Always a good thing to stay close to a liar I always say.
Savaii
Papa Bear sees the writing on the wall as he says he isn't clicking with anybody so he will be voted out next. How about doing something about that rather then laying in the hammock and complaining to the camera? Because the camera doesn't have a vote and neither does the hammock. Ozzie then does what about 99% of the people do who find a hidden immunity idol, he tells someone about it. Dude, have you not learned anything on your two previous trips playing this game not to mention getting blindsided when holding an idol before? Do you even watch this show when you're not combing your hair or flexing your muscles? Ozzie tells Keith and it takes Keith about one minute to tell Whitney who tells three friends, who tell then tells three friends and soon it gets posted on Facebook and the only people on God's green earth who don't know Ozzie has an idol are the fourteen people in New Guinea whose internet and cable is down through next Wednesday. I'll take a breath now.
Brandon is the 2nd craziest person
Lest we forget, Semhar wins first prize for being a nut. I wish I had a DVR to go back and listen again to her pre-Redemption Island challenge chant. It went something like, "I will disrobe in front of him and have ten of his children without use of drugs...........................I am just going to stop there and say, Good Night, Good Luck and Good hunting for a good head doctor.
Upolu
Mikayla confronts Brandon about last week's attempt to take her out. He then parades her in front of the entire tribe to make her look bad. Mikayla breaks down and Brandon continues on his battle between good and evil. Brandon can't decide if he wants to follow God or Uncle Russell. What I found interesting was Brandon went on his rant and no one stopped him or stepped up to the plate. They are scared of him just like other people were scared of his uncle Russell last year.
Challenge "Surf's Up"
Great challenge. Run over a water bridge, get one of five buckets with a flag in it and get surfboarded back to shore, what fun. One part that I didn't understand, Upolo put Brandon, probably their heaviest player on the surf board and they had to haul him back to shore. Even though they won the challenge, wouldn't one of the smaller girls been a better choice? Coach did a great job with the grappling hook and Upolo won in a blowout.
Savaii
Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie. He says the vote is between Cochran and PaPa Bear. He goes to PaPa Bear and tells him they are voting for Cochran and vice versa. Dude, let someone else do the heavy lifting here. When you lie to people in front of your alliance it does two things. It takes away from your credibility down the road as sooner or later these same peopls you lied to help to protect will question your response when you say, we're voting for someone else. Secondly, let someone else share the work load. PaPa Bear finally takes a run at looking for the idol, and God love him, shoves a sock bundle down his shorts to make people believe he has an idol and some actually believe he has an idol. (Yes I said he shoved a sock bundle down his shorts, go ahead and laugh)Cochran realizes this and replies, now the vote will probably come to me.
Tribal Council
Three and five theory is discussed. Basically it is three people against five. Yeah, like I couldn't figure that one out. The hidden immunity was discussed and then Papa Bear is sent to Redemption Island.
Side Notes
Has anyone else noticed that no one from the Upolu Tribe is even looking for the idol at their camp? It seems the game has evolved to the point where, while it is cool to have found a hidden idol, it is almost taboo to be caught looking for it.
Next Week
Is Cochran really thinking of going after Ozzie? Apparently he has Jim on his side.
Dear Andy,
I wanted to drop you a quick line and tell you that you made a mistake in one of your recent posts when you used the word their, instead of they're. Secondly, I wanted to ask you what you would do with the money if you ever won the million?
Cindy Lewis - Providence, Rhode Island
Dear Cindy,
The first thing I would do with the money would be to go out and buy you a dictionary so you know how to spell the word "Road" correctly. Are you an english teacher by chance, if so that would be so ironical.
Ahndy Fhairbanks - Cholumbus, Hohio.
Upolu
Brandon feels bad for lying last week and Coach assures him he is still got his back. Always a good thing to stay close to a liar I always say.
Savaii
Papa Bear sees the writing on the wall as he says he isn't clicking with anybody so he will be voted out next. How about doing something about that rather then laying in the hammock and complaining to the camera? Because the camera doesn't have a vote and neither does the hammock. Ozzie then does what about 99% of the people do who find a hidden immunity idol, he tells someone about it. Dude, have you not learned anything on your two previous trips playing this game not to mention getting blindsided when holding an idol before? Do you even watch this show when you're not combing your hair or flexing your muscles? Ozzie tells Keith and it takes Keith about one minute to tell Whitney who tells three friends, who tell then tells three friends and soon it gets posted on Facebook and the only people on God's green earth who don't know Ozzie has an idol are the fourteen people in New Guinea whose internet and cable is down through next Wednesday. I'll take a breath now.
Brandon is the 2nd craziest person
Lest we forget, Semhar wins first prize for being a nut. I wish I had a DVR to go back and listen again to her pre-Redemption Island challenge chant. It went something like, "I will disrobe in front of him and have ten of his children without use of drugs...........................I am just going to stop there and say, Good Night, Good Luck and Good hunting for a good head doctor.
Upolu
Mikayla confronts Brandon about last week's attempt to take her out. He then parades her in front of the entire tribe to make her look bad. Mikayla breaks down and Brandon continues on his battle between good and evil. Brandon can't decide if he wants to follow God or Uncle Russell. What I found interesting was Brandon went on his rant and no one stopped him or stepped up to the plate. They are scared of him just like other people were scared of his uncle Russell last year.
Challenge "Surf's Up"
Great challenge. Run over a water bridge, get one of five buckets with a flag in it and get surfboarded back to shore, what fun. One part that I didn't understand, Upolo put Brandon, probably their heaviest player on the surf board and they had to haul him back to shore. Even though they won the challenge, wouldn't one of the smaller girls been a better choice? Coach did a great job with the grappling hook and Upolo won in a blowout.
Savaii
Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie. He says the vote is between Cochran and PaPa Bear. He goes to PaPa Bear and tells him they are voting for Cochran and vice versa. Dude, let someone else do the heavy lifting here. When you lie to people in front of your alliance it does two things. It takes away from your credibility down the road as sooner or later these same peopls you lied to help to protect will question your response when you say, we're voting for someone else. Secondly, let someone else share the work load. PaPa Bear finally takes a run at looking for the idol, and God love him, shoves a sock bundle down his shorts to make people believe he has an idol and some actually believe he has an idol. (Yes I said he shoved a sock bundle down his shorts, go ahead and laugh)Cochran realizes this and replies, now the vote will probably come to me.
Tribal Council
Three and five theory is discussed. Basically it is three people against five. Yeah, like I couldn't figure that one out. The hidden immunity was discussed and then Papa Bear is sent to Redemption Island.
Side Notes
Has anyone else noticed that no one from the Upolu Tribe is even looking for the idol at their camp? It seems the game has evolved to the point where, while it is cool to have found a hidden idol, it is almost taboo to be caught looking for it.
Next Week
Is Cochran really thinking of going after Ozzie? Apparently he has Jim on his side.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Poems, Prayers and Underwear
Wearing Underwear
I have said this on more than one occasion in my life, anyone who gets paid to do a job while wearing nothing but their underwear is my hero. But I digress.
Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.
Dude is trying so hard not to be like his uncle Russell that he is turning out to be .................a lot like his uncle Russell. He tells us he has done some things in the past that he regrets but hopes his faith in God will help him. Ya know I can relate, I have done some things in the past and thank God no one found out.
More on this later.
Redemption Island
Semhar recites a poem she wrote about not loving people who did her wrong. Now I'm not a poet but here goes my stab at poetry, it's titled: Semhar Lost
Semhar Lost,
Do not pass Go
Do not collect $ 200.00
Semhar Lost.
Upolo
Coach has an alliance of five and thinks Christine isn't trustworthy, afterall she had the gall to go out and look for one of the idols. That bitch. The person that is a mystery to me is Edna. She walks around like she just got done shopping at Wal Mart and is just waiting for the next bus. I don't get her.
Savaii - Cocharan
Cocharan thanks everyone for not voting him out the night before and vows to get better. My question is, does this guy really go to Harvard the Ivy League school or does he really go to Harvard Community College in Pocatello, Idaho? Just wondering?
Ozzie and the Idol
Where does he find the idol, in a frickin' tree of course. The guy/lady who hides these idols should be fired immediately. I think the only time in the history of Survivor that a hidden immunity wasn't hidden in a tree was when it was hidden on a foot bridge which of made of what? Wood from a tree. I was trying to read the clue that Christine found in the hole in the tree and my guess was the clue read "You'll find the idol in a hole in a tree." Brilliant.
Jim
For those of you who don't know, Jim is a professional poker player. He is God's gift to mankind, just ask him. He has his 3 & 2 theory, he, Keith and Ozzie and two other people. Ya know, he is exactly right because, and I used a calculator to confirm this but he, Keith and Ozzie do make 3 and 2 other people make, well as funny as it sound that makes 2. Oh yeah, after the fact that Ozzie made the alliance with Keith and Jim, well Jim takes credit for it, the architect as he says. Go smoke some more weed. Oh yeah, he also said he was at the cool kids table. Nope, Cocharan sits there.
Brandon Part II
Dude says he is happily married and doesn't like Mikayla. Thing is he keeps staring at her. If you don't like her, quit staring at her butt all day and most importantly quit telling your wife on national television that you area staring at her butt.
Christine
She gets excited about finding an idol clue. That's like getting excited when you find the bottle opener, but you have no beer.
Challenge
Maypole, keys and crates. Upolo had this won and lost, and that's about all you can say.
Pre Tribal Council
What a cluster *&^%. A whole lot of confusion for what should be a simple vote, Christine. Coach was actually the voice of reason to Brandon. Brandon does lie to Christine and Stacey about the tribe wanting to get rid of Mikayla. Dude your pants are smoking.
Tribal Council and Coach
Three things stand out here. First, Coach brings out dirty laundry against Christine saying they want Mikayla gone. Which is a result of Brandon's lie to him. Albert steps up and says Coach not telling Christine and Stacey about who told him about the Mikayla vote is a sign of loyalty. Then Brandon brings everyone down by saying he told Coach a lie. Not ten minutes earlier Coach said he got burnt by trusting people too much in his last ventures into Survivor and it happens yet again. Coach also confuses me because he wants to play with honor but has no problem giving up information on people not in his alliance. Is that honor?
Albert
Anyone who is playing this game needs to pay attention to him. This guy could take this game over very easily. I have spoken.
I have said this on more than one occasion in my life, anyone who gets paid to do a job while wearing nothing but their underwear is my hero. But I digress.
Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.
Dude is trying so hard not to be like his uncle Russell that he is turning out to be .................a lot like his uncle Russell. He tells us he has done some things in the past that he regrets but hopes his faith in God will help him. Ya know I can relate, I have done some things in the past and thank God no one found out.
Redemption Island
Semhar recites a poem she wrote about not loving people who did her wrong. Now I'm not a poet but here goes my stab at poetry, it's titled: Semhar Lost
Semhar Lost,
Do not pass Go
Do not collect $ 200.00
Semhar Lost.
Upolo
Coach has an alliance of five and thinks Christine isn't trustworthy, afterall she had the gall to go out and look for one of the idols. That bitch. The person that is a mystery to me is Edna. She walks around like she just got done shopping at Wal Mart and is just waiting for the next bus. I don't get her.
Savaii - Cocharan
Cocharan thanks everyone for not voting him out the night before and vows to get better. My question is, does this guy really go to Harvard the Ivy League school or does he really go to Harvard Community College in Pocatello, Idaho? Just wondering?
Ozzie and the Idol
Where does he find the idol, in a frickin' tree of course. The guy/lady who hides these idols should be fired immediately. I think the only time in the history of Survivor that a hidden immunity wasn't hidden in a tree was when it was hidden on a foot bridge which of made of what? Wood from a tree. I was trying to read the clue that Christine found in the hole in the tree and my guess was the clue read "You'll find the idol in a hole in a tree." Brilliant.
Jim
For those of you who don't know, Jim is a professional poker player. He is God's gift to mankind, just ask him. He has his 3 & 2 theory, he, Keith and Ozzie and two other people. Ya know, he is exactly right because, and I used a calculator to confirm this but he, Keith and Ozzie do make 3 and 2 other people make, well as funny as it sound that makes 2. Oh yeah, after the fact that Ozzie made the alliance with Keith and Jim, well Jim takes credit for it, the architect as he says. Go smoke some more weed. Oh yeah, he also said he was at the cool kids table. Nope, Cocharan sits there.
Brandon Part II
Dude says he is happily married and doesn't like Mikayla. Thing is he keeps staring at her. If you don't like her, quit staring at her butt all day and most importantly quit telling your wife on national television that you area staring at her butt.
Christine
She gets excited about finding an idol clue. That's like getting excited when you find the bottle opener, but you have no beer.
Challenge
Maypole, keys and crates. Upolo had this won and lost, and that's about all you can say.
Pre Tribal Council
What a cluster *&^%. A whole lot of confusion for what should be a simple vote, Christine. Coach was actually the voice of reason to Brandon. Brandon does lie to Christine and Stacey about the tribe wanting to get rid of Mikayla. Dude your pants are smoking.
Tribal Council and Coach
Three things stand out here. First, Coach brings out dirty laundry against Christine saying they want Mikayla gone. Which is a result of Brandon's lie to him. Albert steps up and says Coach not telling Christine and Stacey about who told him about the Mikayla vote is a sign of loyalty. Then Brandon brings everyone down by saying he told Coach a lie. Not ten minutes earlier Coach said he got burnt by trusting people too much in his last ventures into Survivor and it happens yet again. Coach also confuses me because he wants to play with honor but has no problem giving up information on people not in his alliance. Is that honor?
Albert
Anyone who is playing this game needs to pay attention to him. This guy could take this game over very easily. I have spoken.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Hitler's Nephew, Coconutball and Cocharan
Okay, before we start rolling here. Tell me that you had a Cocharan in your class in high school? Yes you did, he was the guy with the pocket protector, carried 17 books around with him at all times and pulled his belt way too tight to keep his pants up. He got A's in the smart classes, knew how to fix the PA system and when it came to being athletic.......well let's just say he got A's in the smart classes. Guys loved to make fun of him after copying off his homework, girls would pinch him on the cheek but never date him and well, he got A's in the smart classes. More on him later.
First impressions.
Um, did anyone else get the impression that people love Ozzie and not so much love for Coach? Everyone clapped when Ozzie went on his team and by the time Coach reached his team all but one of them had left for camp. (Sound of crickets) That was a rude entry. He looked like the dog who crapped on the carpet and got banished to the garage for a week. Hey, quick question. One lady was wearing a suit jacket outfit. Who the hell packs a suit jacket outfit for Survivor?
Bold Statements
Kristine the school teacher made a comment about Ozzie and Coach, "Good to see them, they are temporary players." Ouch John wants to be known as Cocharan ala Ozzie, Coach and Rob. Yup dorko, we can do that.
First Challenge
Climb a pole, retrieve a turtle and do a puzzle. Okay folks, in all the previews we see Ozzie climbing trees, Ozzie climbing ropes, Ozzie climbing the Empire State Building so the producers make Coach go against Ozzie doing what? Climbing. No favorites there. The puzzle on the other hand stumped Ozzie. I sort of got how it worked about half way through. Ozzie did the good thing and asked for help and won. After the challenge Coach was basically shunned by his tribe.
Savaii Tribe
It will take me a few weeks to remember tribe names right off but everyone has a Ozzzie-love-fest back at camp. He pipes up, "Best tribe ever." They decide to have a group bath and put off making shelter per Ozzie's "I don't think we need to worry about the weather today." That's the same thing that Noah's neighbor said a few years back as he leaned down to pick up his Sunday paper from his driveway and waved as he watched Noah close the door to the Arc. Jim was telling people whatever he was telling them and laughing at the camera, "I'm not going to tell people what I actually do." And this will be to your advantage because? People are going to vote you out because you legally sell marijuana? Dude, you'll be the most popular player EVER. After the bath Ozzie says we need to start a fire. Yeah, no shelter but a fire should keep you warm during the rain. He says he wants to keep a strong tribe. DAH
Upolu Tribe
Coach tells everybody he isn't a threat. Um, everyone who has a vote is a threat. Christine says she is going to gather wood and then starts looking for the idol.
Which brings us to Brandon. First of all he tells he is Russel's nephew and then takes the next hour to continue to tell us that he doesn't want to be like Russel. He used to be like Russel but no more. Then we see he is infatuated with Mikayla. Weird? Yeah, this boy is out there.
Coconut ball
Zig zag through coconuts, climb a wall, cut the rope and shoot coconuts. Two things about this challenge stood out. Did anyone see that frickin' Albert pull Hitler's nephew over the wall? I am guessing Brandon weighs close to 200 and Albert pulls him up and over the wall. Dude is strong. Then Samher begged to shoot the coconuts and wanted to quit after a few throws. Upolo wins.
Tribal Council
Cocharan and Samher have one of the most polite arguements ever at tribal council. It was a pillow fight with apologies. I'm sorry I will wait until you are done calling me a twit. Oh sorry, I didn't know you weren't finished calling me lazy, I aplogize. I wonder if this is how two Amish guys fight over the last chicken leg at dinner? Anyhow, Samher goes to Exile Island and cries about people lying to her.
Next Week
Cocharan learns how to run around the may pole and how to give a wedgie to a monkey.
First impressions.
Um, did anyone else get the impression that people love Ozzie and not so much love for Coach? Everyone clapped when Ozzie went on his team and by the time Coach reached his team all but one of them had left for camp. (Sound of crickets) That was a rude entry. He looked like the dog who crapped on the carpet and got banished to the garage for a week. Hey, quick question. One lady was wearing a suit jacket outfit. Who the hell packs a suit jacket outfit for Survivor?
Bold Statements
Kristine the school teacher made a comment about Ozzie and Coach, "Good to see them, they are temporary players." Ouch John wants to be known as Cocharan ala Ozzie, Coach and Rob. Yup dorko, we can do that.
First Challenge
Climb a pole, retrieve a turtle and do a puzzle. Okay folks, in all the previews we see Ozzie climbing trees, Ozzie climbing ropes, Ozzie climbing the Empire State Building so the producers make Coach go against Ozzie doing what? Climbing. No favorites there. The puzzle on the other hand stumped Ozzie. I sort of got how it worked about half way through. Ozzie did the good thing and asked for help and won. After the challenge Coach was basically shunned by his tribe.
Savaii Tribe
It will take me a few weeks to remember tribe names right off but everyone has a Ozzzie-love-fest back at camp. He pipes up, "Best tribe ever." They decide to have a group bath and put off making shelter per Ozzie's "I don't think we need to worry about the weather today." That's the same thing that Noah's neighbor said a few years back as he leaned down to pick up his Sunday paper from his driveway and waved as he watched Noah close the door to the Arc. Jim was telling people whatever he was telling them and laughing at the camera, "I'm not going to tell people what I actually do." And this will be to your advantage because? People are going to vote you out because you legally sell marijuana? Dude, you'll be the most popular player EVER. After the bath Ozzie says we need to start a fire. Yeah, no shelter but a fire should keep you warm during the rain. He says he wants to keep a strong tribe. DAH
Upolu Tribe
Coach tells everybody he isn't a threat. Um, everyone who has a vote is a threat. Christine says she is going to gather wood and then starts looking for the idol.
Which brings us to Brandon. First of all he tells he is Russel's nephew and then takes the next hour to continue to tell us that he doesn't want to be like Russel. He used to be like Russel but no more. Then we see he is infatuated with Mikayla. Weird? Yeah, this boy is out there.
Coconut ball
Zig zag through coconuts, climb a wall, cut the rope and shoot coconuts. Two things about this challenge stood out. Did anyone see that frickin' Albert pull Hitler's nephew over the wall? I am guessing Brandon weighs close to 200 and Albert pulls him up and over the wall. Dude is strong. Then Samher begged to shoot the coconuts and wanted to quit after a few throws. Upolo wins.
Tribal Council
Cocharan and Samher have one of the most polite arguements ever at tribal council. It was a pillow fight with apologies. I'm sorry I will wait until you are done calling me a twit. Oh sorry, I didn't know you weren't finished calling me lazy, I aplogize. I wonder if this is how two Amish guys fight over the last chicken leg at dinner? Anyhow, Samher goes to Exile Island and cries about people lying to her.
Next Week
Cocharan learns how to run around the may pole and how to give a wedgie to a monkey.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
My kingdom for a car battery
Okay sports fans Survivor is only a few weeks away so I thought it was time to give a filler story about my new car battery. Yes the battery has been on its last legs since June and last Thursday it finally gave out. Funny how a car battery never gives out when you are at home or at a gas station but rather when you are parked at a parking meter in downtown Columbus at 2:30 pm and your have five minutes left on your meter and one quarter in your pocket which gets you an additional seven and half minutes of taking up a prized parking location. Then you find someone who offers to give you a jump and you find out how impatient people are when you block a street for the two minutes it takes to hook up jumper cables. Jesus H. Christ people, I'm sorry I am holding you up and making you miss that espisode of Judge Judy where the pregnant 17 year old girl is suing her ex-boyfriend/father of her unborn child $ 37.50 to make payment on the cell phone that he used to send naked pictures of himself to her on. Yeah really? I don't know if that was a proper sentence, but you get the drift.
Below is an email I sent to NTB after wasting my Friday afternoon.
Dear NTB,
On Friday August 26. 2011 I called the store at the above location and talked to Gary. I told him I needed to have my battery changed and we setup a time for 2:00 pm that afternoon. (I will let you do some research to find out what type of car I drive and that will tell me if you really care about customer service.) By setting an appoitment he said this would cut down on the wait time etc. I also told him the type of car I drive and he commented the battery would run in the area of about
$ 79.00 before taxes etc. Upon arriving at your location I found that not only had the price jumped to approximately $ 129.00 but that your store had no battery in stock to fit my car. WTF? Really?
I have three questions here:
-) Why did I set the appointment if it wasn't going to save time in the first place.
-) How can you not stock a battery for a customer who set an appointment to do what? Get the battery in their fucking car changed.
-) Why should I ever come to one of your store's again?
I look forward to your canned "We have recieved your comment and appreciate your business," response.
Sincerly,
Customer
Response from NTB
August 257, 2011 (They must have a different calendar)
Reference: #4914536
Dear Customer
Thank you for taking the time to contact NTB. This message is to inform you that we received your recent comments. Your comments will be forwarded to the appropriate field representative(s) for review and follow up. We take customer feedback very seriously and would be happy to discuss your experience with you. If you have not been contacted within 2 business days and your issue remains unresolved, please feel free to contact us directly at (561) 383-3051 or if you prefer, you can send a follow up email to Customerservice@tirekingdom.com. Your reference # is 4914536. We appreciate your business and look forward to helping you with all your automotive needs.
Thank you,
Consumer Relations
My response
August 258, 2011 (God this has been a long month)
Reference #5477 69 2888
Dear corporate customer service person,
This is to inform you that I have received your email telling me that you have received my email inquiry about your company.
First of all, I really appreciate the canned corporate non-personnel response that you sent below. It warms my heart that you personalized it with a "Dear Customer," introduction. You must have spent many hours and thousands of dollars authoring that response, great corporate job and please give some bonus money to the middle management suck up who wrote it.
Two quick questions for you to determine if anyone from your offices really reads the emails that are sent in or do they simply hit the canned response keys in between sending text messages, picking their noses and reading the adventures of The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess. If memory serves there are a lot of coloful pictures in that book so I can see how it would be distracting to actually pick up a phone and take care of your paying customers. On to the questions.
-) What kind of car do I drive? Still waiting for this answer.
-) What word did I mis-spell twice in my initial email?
-) And just for funsies I wanted to know if your company was tied in with the U.S. Government as it usually takes them about three days to respond or even fill in a pot hole.
If I don't receive a response within two business days I will take it Buffy in customer service just broke up with her boyfriend, has taken away his ability to post on her facebook page and just found another pimple on her nose..I would say let's setup a time to talk on the phone but similar to not having actual car batteries in your store, you would probably agree to this and then have to call NAPA to deliver a phone to your office..
Thanks
Sincerely,
Customer
Below is an email I sent to NTB after wasting my Friday afternoon.
Dear NTB,
On Friday August 26. 2011 I called the store at the above location and talked to Gary. I told him I needed to have my battery changed and we setup a time for 2:00 pm that afternoon. (I will let you do some research to find out what type of car I drive and that will tell me if you really care about customer service.) By setting an appoitment he said this would cut down on the wait time etc. I also told him the type of car I drive and he commented the battery would run in the area of about
$ 79.00 before taxes etc. Upon arriving at your location I found that not only had the price jumped to approximately $ 129.00 but that your store had no battery in stock to fit my car. WTF? Really?
I have three questions here:
-) Why did I set the appointment if it wasn't going to save time in the first place.
-) How can you not stock a battery for a customer who set an appointment to do what? Get the battery in their fucking car changed.
-) Why should I ever come to one of your store's again?
I look forward to your canned "We have recieved your comment and appreciate your business," response.
Sincerly,
Customer
Response from NTB
August 257, 2011 (They must have a different calendar)
Reference: #4914536
Dear Customer
Thank you for taking the time to contact NTB. This message is to inform you that we received your recent comments. Your comments will be forwarded to the appropriate field representative(s) for review and follow up. We take customer feedback very seriously and would be happy to discuss your experience with you. If you have not been contacted within 2 business days and your issue remains unresolved, please feel free to contact us directly at (561) 383-3051 or if you prefer, you can send a follow up email to Customerservice@tirekingdom.com. Your reference # is 4914536. We appreciate your business and look forward to helping you with all your automotive needs.
Thank you,
Consumer Relations
My response
August 258, 2011 (God this has been a long month)
Reference #5477 69 2888
Dear corporate customer service person,
This is to inform you that I have received your email telling me that you have received my email inquiry about your company.
First of all, I really appreciate the canned corporate non-personnel response that you sent below. It warms my heart that you personalized it with a "Dear Customer," introduction. You must have spent many hours and thousands of dollars authoring that response, great corporate job and please give some bonus money to the middle management suck up who wrote it.
Two quick questions for you to determine if anyone from your offices really reads the emails that are sent in or do they simply hit the canned response keys in between sending text messages, picking their noses and reading the adventures of The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess. If memory serves there are a lot of coloful pictures in that book so I can see how it would be distracting to actually pick up a phone and take care of your paying customers. On to the questions.
-) What kind of car do I drive? Still waiting for this answer.
-) What word did I mis-spell twice in my initial email?
-) And just for funsies I wanted to know if your company was tied in with the U.S. Government as it usually takes them about three days to respond or even fill in a pot hole.
If I don't receive a response within two business days I will take it Buffy in customer service just broke up with her boyfriend, has taken away his ability to post on her facebook page and just found another pimple on her nose..I would say let's setup a time to talk on the phone but similar to not having actual car batteries in your store, you would probably agree to this and then have to call NAPA to deliver a phone to your office..
Thanks
Sincerely,
Customer
Friday, August 5, 2011
Where's my shit man?
Okay I know it's still about a month and a half until Survivor starts, but it's high time to get warmed up with a recent story.
How is it with the advent of bar coding and scanning packages that UPS can simply lose a box? Someone please explain that to me. Tuesday I sent out three boxes addressed to the same location and only two of the boxes made it to the destination. I could be wrong but I can go onto the UPS website and find out exactly where my boxes are, based on the bar code scanning. How do you lose a box? I have watched people from UPS load boxes onto and off of their trucks and with each entry and departure they scan the box. That's what the frickin' system is for, tracing boxes. Doesn't logic say if you have 50 boxes on your truck, you should have 50 scans when you deliver? I even asked the dispatcher to check the bar code records of the driver who was supposed to deliver the package, take some responsibility here. Their answer to me was, "We have searched all our facilities and can find no box." Why don't you ask the frickin' driver Einstein, if no one signed for the package then he didn't deliver it. This brings me to my conclusion that UPS employees should not have kids. Can you imagine two UPS parents loading their three kids into the car on Thanksgiving to visit the grandparents and arriving with only two kids? Grandma and Grandpa come out and ask, "Where's Julie?" The UPS workers search the car and say, "Well we have looked everywhere and can't find her. Boy that turkey smells good, who's hungry?"
Next Week: How licking postal stamps can help you lose weight.
How is it with the advent of bar coding and scanning packages that UPS can simply lose a box? Someone please explain that to me. Tuesday I sent out three boxes addressed to the same location and only two of the boxes made it to the destination. I could be wrong but I can go onto the UPS website and find out exactly where my boxes are, based on the bar code scanning. How do you lose a box? I have watched people from UPS load boxes onto and off of their trucks and with each entry and departure they scan the box. That's what the frickin' system is for, tracing boxes. Doesn't logic say if you have 50 boxes on your truck, you should have 50 scans when you deliver? I even asked the dispatcher to check the bar code records of the driver who was supposed to deliver the package, take some responsibility here. Their answer to me was, "We have searched all our facilities and can find no box." Why don't you ask the frickin' driver Einstein, if no one signed for the package then he didn't deliver it. This brings me to my conclusion that UPS employees should not have kids. Can you imagine two UPS parents loading their three kids into the car on Thanksgiving to visit the grandparents and arriving with only two kids? Grandma and Grandpa come out and ask, "Where's Julie?" The UPS workers search the car and say, "Well we have looked everywhere and can't find her. Boy that turkey smells good, who's hungry?"
Next Week: How licking postal stamps can help you lose weight.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Does anybody else want to win?
Final Words
The jury is brought in and former bestest arm pit shaving friends Ashley and Natalie stare one another down.
Natalie says she was lucky to survive 39 days and was lucky to align with Rob. Basically you said Rob carried you but people should vote for you because Rob carried you.
Phillip said his Stealth implementation carried him.
Rob says he is doing this for family and his strong alliance carried him. They should have just taken the vote right then and there.
Jury
Once again we get to see poeple be pissed off.
Andrea calls Phillip weird and said Natalie you deceived your best friend.
Ashley tells Phillip she is sick of him. She tells Natalie that they agreed to tell
each other everything. Rob you deceived people. WOW, someone lied on Survivor. She is bitter.
Grant asks Natalie what was the dynamic of her alliance and she said Rob. Natalie expsoes Rob and says Grant was never in the plans to go to the final.
Ralph likes Phillip and asks him why just one feather. He tells Natalie that she can't do anything without checking with Rob.
Matt tells Rob he is a manipulator. Really?
Julie plays the parents card with Natalie. She tells Phillip that no one likes you or respects you. Bitter
Mike tells us his experience was great and he has inner piece now.
Steve congratulates Rob on playing 117 days and tells Natalie she is great for playing at age 19. He tells Phillip what he did is shameful.
Dave tells everyone he is in love with Rob and everyone should vote for him.
Rob wins and later we find out that Dave was really in love with someone else as he makes a very uncomfortable looking proposal to another former player. Be like Rob.
Pretty boring season overall.
The jury is brought in and former bestest arm pit shaving friends Ashley and Natalie stare one another down.
Natalie says she was lucky to survive 39 days and was lucky to align with Rob. Basically you said Rob carried you but people should vote for you because Rob carried you.
Phillip said his Stealth implementation carried him.
Rob says he is doing this for family and his strong alliance carried him. They should have just taken the vote right then and there.
Jury
Once again we get to see poeple be pissed off.
Andrea calls Phillip weird and said Natalie you deceived your best friend.
Ashley tells Phillip she is sick of him. She tells Natalie that they agreed to tell
each other everything. Rob you deceived people. WOW, someone lied on Survivor. She is bitter.
Grant asks Natalie what was the dynamic of her alliance and she said Rob. Natalie expsoes Rob and says Grant was never in the plans to go to the final.
Ralph likes Phillip and asks him why just one feather. He tells Natalie that she can't do anything without checking with Rob.
Matt tells Rob he is a manipulator. Really?
Julie plays the parents card with Natalie. She tells Phillip that no one likes you or respects you. Bitter
Mike tells us his experience was great and he has inner piece now.
Steve congratulates Rob on playing 117 days and tells Natalie she is great for playing at age 19. He tells Phillip what he did is shameful.
Dave tells everyone he is in love with Rob and everyone should vote for him.
Rob wins and later we find out that Dave was really in love with someone else as he makes a very uncomfortable looking proposal to another former player. Be like Rob.
Pretty boring season overall.
Why is it..................................
Naive: deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment. That describes the 19 of the twenty players who played Survivor this season. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, everybody with the exception of Boston Rob were playing for second place.
Redemption Island Day 35
After being voted out at tribal council the night before Grant says, "I was betrayed last night and I'm okay with it." Really? Andrea then speaks up and says Grant was the last person she wanted to see at Redemption Island. Tell us who the first person you wanted to see was, please, please, please.
Muliano Day 35
Rob says he has a heart in there somewhere but Ashley needs to go next. The difference is the private confessionals we have been seeing is obvious, everyone is okay with no winning except Rob, it is has been that way all season. Nobody wants to admit that they have been getting outplayed.
Redemption Island Challenge
Foot on a beam to balance a very ancient Chinese or Japanese or something from a garage sale type flower pot. To watch these type challenges are akin to going to see your seven year old nephew play his violin at an elementary school concert. When your nephew is done playing, everyone applauds and then you whisper to your sister, "Was that jingle bells?," and she reponds, "I thought it was Coming round the mountain when she comes." WTF? Anyhow, Andrea wins and moves back into the main herd.
Final Five
Andrea, Phillip, Ashley, Natalie and Rob. Rob wants Ashley gone now. Andrea attempts to sway Natalie and Ashley that people are going to vote for Phillip in the final if he makes it. I thought this was a great attempt on her part to get them to change thier vote. But Natalie and Ashley remind of that old blonde joke. Two blondes are walking down the beach and one finds a compact mirror in the sand. She opens it up and says, "Oh My God, I think I've seen this person before." The other blonde grabs the compact out of her hand and takes a look, "Well dumbass you should know who it is, it's a picture of me." Yeah, that's what armpit shaving buddies do together. No clue as what Andrea is trying to say to them.
Immunity Challenge
Ashley wins the balance beam, make a skeleton out of your puzzle pieces challenge.
Ashley is talking to Natalie and making sure that after they vote out Andrea that Phillip is next to go and Natalie agrees. Rob and Phillip are then talking about Ashley and Natalie right in front of Andrea before tribal council. Take this opportunity to go tell them, what do you have to lose. You are on the outs, make an issue of it, bring them back and confront him, what do you have to lose now.
Tribal Council.
Andrea finally steps up and tells the jury, Ometepe had no strategy only to follow Rob. She is exactly right. You know what's funny about this, everyone agrees and no one says anything. Andrea goes home.
Murliano Day 37
Rob tells the girls he will take them to the final.
Final Challenge
Maze with puzzle pieces. Ashley follows Rob around the maze like a lap dog. Phillip finds three of his four bags while Natalie, well I can't really say anything positive about Natalie in this challenge because she didn't find any of her puzzle pieces and she looked like she was going to cry. She looked liked she missed the school bus on her first day of school. It came down to Ashley and Rob solving the puzzle and Ashley made the fatal of mistake of assuming that Rob was going to take her to the final. Rewind the tape please. At the last tribal council Andrea said to the group, "Ometepe had no strategy except to follow Rob." Can you hear me now? If that didn't send a message that you need to solve your own puzzle and win immunity and get rid of Rob, nothing did. For a second I wanted a final of Ashley, Natalie and Phillip which would have been very interesting, but it didn't happen. Rob wins and ends that part of the story.
Pre Council
Rob thinks Ashley might have gotten close to the other tribe so she has to go. Natalie doesn't want to lose a friend over this game. Here is my thinking when it comes to making friends on Survivor. You have to make a distinction when you play this game. First, of all it is more of a part time job where you might win a million dollars. Secondly, if you are that good of friends then your new found friend will have to understand that only one person wins and if they aren't your friend anymore then maybe you weren't that good of friends in the first place. End of story.
Tribal Council
We find that Ashley really doesn't care for Andrea, no surprise as Andrea wouldn't let Ashley shave her armpit hair.
Ashely says she felt she had to win the challenge. Rob says he wants to sit next to people who don't deserve to win which brings some frowns. Ashley then says the most honest thing she can, "I could have thrown Rob under the bus because I think I can beat both Natalie and Phillip." Too bad you didn't run over Rob earlier because you can't beat him now. How many times have I said it before, when you get a chance to unseat a huge threat, do it. Ashley goes home.
Next Post - Final Council
Redemption Island Day 35
After being voted out at tribal council the night before Grant says, "I was betrayed last night and I'm okay with it." Really? Andrea then speaks up and says Grant was the last person she wanted to see at Redemption Island. Tell us who the first person you wanted to see was, please, please, please.
Muliano Day 35
Rob says he has a heart in there somewhere but Ashley needs to go next. The difference is the private confessionals we have been seeing is obvious, everyone is okay with no winning except Rob, it is has been that way all season. Nobody wants to admit that they have been getting outplayed.
Redemption Island Challenge
Foot on a beam to balance a very ancient Chinese or Japanese or something from a garage sale type flower pot. To watch these type challenges are akin to going to see your seven year old nephew play his violin at an elementary school concert. When your nephew is done playing, everyone applauds and then you whisper to your sister, "Was that jingle bells?," and she reponds, "I thought it was Coming round the mountain when she comes." WTF? Anyhow, Andrea wins and moves back into the main herd.
Final Five
Andrea, Phillip, Ashley, Natalie and Rob. Rob wants Ashley gone now. Andrea attempts to sway Natalie and Ashley that people are going to vote for Phillip in the final if he makes it. I thought this was a great attempt on her part to get them to change thier vote. But Natalie and Ashley remind of that old blonde joke. Two blondes are walking down the beach and one finds a compact mirror in the sand. She opens it up and says, "Oh My God, I think I've seen this person before." The other blonde grabs the compact out of her hand and takes a look, "Well dumbass you should know who it is, it's a picture of me." Yeah, that's what armpit shaving buddies do together. No clue as what Andrea is trying to say to them.
Immunity Challenge
Ashley wins the balance beam, make a skeleton out of your puzzle pieces challenge.
Ashley is talking to Natalie and making sure that after they vote out Andrea that Phillip is next to go and Natalie agrees. Rob and Phillip are then talking about Ashley and Natalie right in front of Andrea before tribal council. Take this opportunity to go tell them, what do you have to lose. You are on the outs, make an issue of it, bring them back and confront him, what do you have to lose now.
Tribal Council.
Andrea finally steps up and tells the jury, Ometepe had no strategy only to follow Rob. She is exactly right. You know what's funny about this, everyone agrees and no one says anything. Andrea goes home.
Murliano Day 37
Rob tells the girls he will take them to the final.
Final Challenge
Maze with puzzle pieces. Ashley follows Rob around the maze like a lap dog. Phillip finds three of his four bags while Natalie, well I can't really say anything positive about Natalie in this challenge because she didn't find any of her puzzle pieces and she looked like she was going to cry. She looked liked she missed the school bus on her first day of school. It came down to Ashley and Rob solving the puzzle and Ashley made the fatal of mistake of assuming that Rob was going to take her to the final. Rewind the tape please. At the last tribal council Andrea said to the group, "Ometepe had no strategy except to follow Rob." Can you hear me now? If that didn't send a message that you need to solve your own puzzle and win immunity and get rid of Rob, nothing did. For a second I wanted a final of Ashley, Natalie and Phillip which would have been very interesting, but it didn't happen. Rob wins and ends that part of the story.
Pre Council
Rob thinks Ashley might have gotten close to the other tribe so she has to go. Natalie doesn't want to lose a friend over this game. Here is my thinking when it comes to making friends on Survivor. You have to make a distinction when you play this game. First, of all it is more of a part time job where you might win a million dollars. Secondly, if you are that good of friends then your new found friend will have to understand that only one person wins and if they aren't your friend anymore then maybe you weren't that good of friends in the first place. End of story.
Tribal Council
We find that Ashley really doesn't care for Andrea, no surprise as Andrea wouldn't let Ashley shave her armpit hair.
Ashely says she felt she had to win the challenge. Rob says he wants to sit next to people who don't deserve to win which brings some frowns. Ashley then says the most honest thing she can, "I could have thrown Rob under the bus because I think I can beat both Natalie and Phillip." Too bad you didn't run over Rob earlier because you can't beat him now. How many times have I said it before, when you get a chance to unseat a huge threat, do it. Ashley goes home.
Next Post - Final Council
I don’t need no stinkin’ blind sides.
I am the biggest fan of Survivor that I know. If you have been watching Survivor for as many years as I have, you have to agree, there is no such thing as a blind side anymore. I take that back, Osama Bin Laden, yeah now that dude got frickin’ blind sided. My point being, if you get voted out, you got voted out. Blind side is so yesterday is terms of Survivor.
Murliano Day 33 or whatever
Ashley says “We blindsided Andrea.” If you take that logic then anybody voted out from now on will be blindsided. I just don’t see it. But then again, that is what a blindside is, people who don’t see it coming. They get too comfortable and believe everything people say. The difference this year is, Redemption Island. Ashley and Natalie start talking and Ashely thinks this might be a good time to take Rob out. Natalie of course runs right back to Rob to tell him. I wonder if Ashley has been sitting at home over the past few weeks watching Natalie rat her out and thinking to herself, “What a Bitch.” Who is the bigger villain, Rob or Natalie?
Redemption Island
Andrea shows up and starts talking to Mike, Ralph and Matt about how bad she feels that she trusted those people who just voted her out. Um excuse me Andrea, question from the press corp here, Andy Fairbanks I write for the newspaper, Whiners R’ Us, “Didn’t you earn Matt’s trust and then vote him out, not once but twice? My second question is, why do think Matt would have any sympathy for you?” She then tells Matt she felt terrible for voting for him which he responds “Sorry I ruined your Survivor experience.” God couldn’t have said it better. Ralph one ups Matt and makes Andrea sleep on the ground.
Challenge / Redemption Island
Handle maize / puzzle. Ralph gets out to a huge lead and then can’t figure the puzzle out. Ralph reminds me of Terry Bradshaw who used to be the quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Everybody likes the guy, but he is sort of dumbass. A rival player once said of Terry, “Dude couldn’t spell the word CAT if you spotted him the C and the A.” That describes Ralph. Love Ralph but he simply wasn’t smart enough, this time around, to win. Dude loses and is sent to the jury. Mike, Matt and Andrea remain.
Muliano Day 34
Rice Wars II. Phillip pipes up that the girls don’t need as much rice because they are smaller. While that is true, they are also two people who might be voting for who wins a million dollars you red underwear wearin’ dumbass. Ya know, if Phillip was running for public office against a dead guy and Natalie and Ashley were the deciding votes, they would probably vote for the dead guy. Rob then starts stirring the pot between Ashley and Grant and telling them the other one wants them out. That is so perfect Survivor strategy with one downfall, if they would ever get together to talk, it’s over for Rob. In this season though, no one fact checks anything they just assume Rob is telling the truth. Now from years past, why would you believe anything Rob tells you? Rob then goes for a walk with Grant and Phillip. Ashley is next……………………….
Challenge
I can do this with one arm tied behind my back. Pick up rings, then a bag of bone and then place these onto a skeleton. Ashley wins just ahead of Grant. She gets room service as well as immunity and invites Natalie to share. We then get to see the girls munch down and then watch them in various poses trying to digest their food. Even though I don’t think Ashley deserves to win, tonight’s episode would have been boring had she lost and been voted out. Grant is sent packing.
Murliano Day 33 or whatever
Ashley says “We blindsided Andrea.” If you take that logic then anybody voted out from now on will be blindsided. I just don’t see it. But then again, that is what a blindside is, people who don’t see it coming. They get too comfortable and believe everything people say. The difference this year is, Redemption Island. Ashley and Natalie start talking and Ashely thinks this might be a good time to take Rob out. Natalie of course runs right back to Rob to tell him. I wonder if Ashley has been sitting at home over the past few weeks watching Natalie rat her out and thinking to herself, “What a Bitch.” Who is the bigger villain, Rob or Natalie?
Redemption Island
Andrea shows up and starts talking to Mike, Ralph and Matt about how bad she feels that she trusted those people who just voted her out. Um excuse me Andrea, question from the press corp here, Andy Fairbanks I write for the newspaper, Whiners R’ Us, “Didn’t you earn Matt’s trust and then vote him out, not once but twice? My second question is, why do think Matt would have any sympathy for you?” She then tells Matt she felt terrible for voting for him which he responds “Sorry I ruined your Survivor experience.” God couldn’t have said it better. Ralph one ups Matt and makes Andrea sleep on the ground.
Challenge / Redemption Island
Handle maize / puzzle. Ralph gets out to a huge lead and then can’t figure the puzzle out. Ralph reminds me of Terry Bradshaw who used to be the quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Everybody likes the guy, but he is sort of dumbass. A rival player once said of Terry, “Dude couldn’t spell the word CAT if you spotted him the C and the A.” That describes Ralph. Love Ralph but he simply wasn’t smart enough, this time around, to win. Dude loses and is sent to the jury. Mike, Matt and Andrea remain.
Muliano Day 34
Rice Wars II. Phillip pipes up that the girls don’t need as much rice because they are smaller. While that is true, they are also two people who might be voting for who wins a million dollars you red underwear wearin’ dumbass. Ya know, if Phillip was running for public office against a dead guy and Natalie and Ashley were the deciding votes, they would probably vote for the dead guy. Rob then starts stirring the pot between Ashley and Grant and telling them the other one wants them out. That is so perfect Survivor strategy with one downfall, if they would ever get together to talk, it’s over for Rob. In this season though, no one fact checks anything they just assume Rob is telling the truth. Now from years past, why would you believe anything Rob tells you? Rob then goes for a walk with Grant and Phillip. Ashley is next……………………….
Challenge
I can do this with one arm tied behind my back. Pick up rings, then a bag of bone and then place these onto a skeleton. Ashley wins just ahead of Grant. She gets room service as well as immunity and invites Natalie to share. We then get to see the girls munch down and then watch them in various poses trying to digest their food. Even though I don’t think Ashley deserves to win, tonight’s episode would have been boring had she lost and been voted out. Grant is sent packing.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
This week's posts brought to you by................
This portion of the Survivor Rant brought to you by Bud Lite. Whenever you are writing a blog while watching Survivor, you need a refreshing drink.
I have said it before, the family and friends visit is always one of my favorite episodes. You get to see mom's, dad's, friends, girlfriends and all those goofy looking seocnd cousins that we all have.
Redemption Island
Ralph makes a huge point about the jury. "Most of the jury will be made up of our old Zapatera tribe so if one of us can make it to the final, we just might win this thing."
Murliano Tribe
Andrea points out the obvious that all the Zapatera people are gone. Natalie starts crying right after tribal council about having to vote off someone from their group. Rob makes an effort to keep her happy by stroking her hair and telling that Osama Bin Laden has just been shot in the eye by attack forces and killed. Great pick me up there. Next we see the tribe getting a box which contains a Sprint IMX 7200 Flux Copacitor phone. Not only can you watch videos of your loved ones, but you can go back in time to 1957 and kiss your own mom on her prom night. (Hey, it's mother day's weekend, had to throw that one in there.) All members get to see family or friends and most start crying. Grant finds out his wife is pregnant, nice.
Redemption Island
They get a phone with more videos. Then Steve, Ralph, Mike and Matt play an adult version of Toss-Across to see who is eliminted. Steve loses big time and has no words to say and walks out. Mike wins and has a decision to make to either spend time with his mom, -OR- let Ralph and Matt spend time with their loved ones -OR- give it up for the entire Ometepe Tribe. Thinking he will win favor with the large group he lets the six of them spend time with family. This would have been a hard decision but based on what I have seen in the past, letting someone else spend time with family instead of you wouldn't gain you more than a thank you. He should have used this time to have a college type visit, show her the bedroom, walk her around campus and tell her about where he got laid last night. Good times.
Murliano
Rob tells his sister that Phillip wacko and Phillip tells his own sister that he is now recharged. HURRAY. I just thought that was an appropriate time since I haven't said HURRAY once this season. Pretty boring family visit.
Challenge
Rob says Andrea is going home unless she wins the challenge. Puzzle steps. Wow, this looked like it just destroyed people. It came down to Rob and Andrea and Rob wins again. Notice how he got others who were breathing hard also, to help him up. The king lives on.
Pre Vote
Rob makes the obvious comment, one of us has to go. Like nobody else could figure that one out. REALLY? Is that how Survivor works. Nobody else says anything. Dude is running this game.
Tribal Council
Jeff makes the obvious comment that no one seems to think they are going to Redemption Island. Phillip states that his grandfather would have told him to keep the faith.
Andrea gets all but her vote to Phillip.
Next week Phillip ruffles some feather again and the two clueless girls call him psycho. Look for Ashley or Grant to go next. Will anyone stand up to Rob? My nightmare would be if Ashley, Natalie and Andrea make it to the final. If this happens I would call special forces and have them come to my house and shoot me in the eye.
I have said it before, the family and friends visit is always one of my favorite episodes. You get to see mom's, dad's, friends, girlfriends and all those goofy looking seocnd cousins that we all have.
Redemption Island
Ralph makes a huge point about the jury. "Most of the jury will be made up of our old Zapatera tribe so if one of us can make it to the final, we just might win this thing."
Murliano Tribe
Andrea points out the obvious that all the Zapatera people are gone. Natalie starts crying right after tribal council about having to vote off someone from their group. Rob makes an effort to keep her happy by stroking her hair and telling that Osama Bin Laden has just been shot in the eye by attack forces and killed. Great pick me up there. Next we see the tribe getting a box which contains a Sprint IMX 7200 Flux Copacitor phone. Not only can you watch videos of your loved ones, but you can go back in time to 1957 and kiss your own mom on her prom night. (Hey, it's mother day's weekend, had to throw that one in there.) All members get to see family or friends and most start crying. Grant finds out his wife is pregnant, nice.
Redemption Island
They get a phone with more videos. Then Steve, Ralph, Mike and Matt play an adult version of Toss-Across to see who is eliminted. Steve loses big time and has no words to say and walks out. Mike wins and has a decision to make to either spend time with his mom, -OR- let Ralph and Matt spend time with their loved ones -OR- give it up for the entire Ometepe Tribe. Thinking he will win favor with the large group he lets the six of them spend time with family. This would have been a hard decision but based on what I have seen in the past, letting someone else spend time with family instead of you wouldn't gain you more than a thank you. He should have used this time to have a college type visit, show her the bedroom, walk her around campus and tell her about where he got laid last night. Good times.
Murliano
Rob tells his sister that Phillip wacko and Phillip tells his own sister that he is now recharged. HURRAY. I just thought that was an appropriate time since I haven't said HURRAY once this season. Pretty boring family visit.
Challenge
Rob says Andrea is going home unless she wins the challenge. Puzzle steps. Wow, this looked like it just destroyed people. It came down to Rob and Andrea and Rob wins again. Notice how he got others who were breathing hard also, to help him up. The king lives on.
Pre Vote
Rob makes the obvious comment, one of us has to go. Like nobody else could figure that one out. REALLY? Is that how Survivor works. Nobody else says anything. Dude is running this game.
Tribal Council
Jeff makes the obvious comment that no one seems to think they are going to Redemption Island. Phillip states that his grandfather would have told him to keep the faith.
Andrea gets all but her vote to Phillip.
Next week Phillip ruffles some feather again and the two clueless girls call him psycho. Look for Ashley or Grant to go next. Will anyone stand up to Rob? My nightmare would be if Ashley, Natalie and Andrea make it to the final. If this happens I would call special forces and have them come to my house and shoot me in the eye.
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